I entered the "dive in" and then afterwards went searching for a towel.

Too dang many images on the intro page. I realize that's the point of the joke, but as a modem-user I can't be bothered to wait. By the way, I am generally not interested in reading much text either -- "here's who I am, I love puppies, you need to remember to brush your teeth, ducks walk in a row, the new Chrysler Impala DSV, and a partridge in a pear tree" bears no relation to (a) how hot you look in your pics (handily thumbnailed correctly to reduce size as well as kilobytes, please) or (b) what your rates are.

Text is useful to prove that you are articulate and have excellent spelling and grammar. That would recommend you as a "high class" escort who might be able to discourse on Mozart or the IMF. Since you have neither excellent nor even marginally good spelling or grammar, I'd recommend you limit your verbal self-expression to less than two sentences per page.

Your website design, as well, doesn't "prove" anything about how good a provider you might be, or whether you're worth the price of entry. But yours is a typical home job, not up to the par of most providers here at TER. Some are worse, most are better. I'd recommend you get a pro.

But then, those are just MY preferences. I'm perfectly willing to bang someone whose grammar is lamentable and whose website is clumsy, and even forget that fact during the act, don't worry. You'd get my fee up front just like from any other customer. But all that wasted time, typing and typing ...


-- Modified on 11/5/2003 4:55:30 PM

Way too much clutter.  KISS is a good philosophy to use--Keep It Simple Stupid.  Many of us don't have the time nor the inclination to wait for complex sites to load or to navigate within.  Text in an easy to read font with some nice (don't need to be explicit) photos, rate info, contact info, etc. is all we need.

and then exhibit your less than perfect grammar for all to witness.

Cogito ergo spud! (I think therefore I YAM!)

HPG

Professionally speaking, the semen drops in your background, particularly based on the volume of the drops, appears like you did not request permission to use my specimens for your website...kidding aside, I like the way you have categorized the nasty-ness of your pictures.  The squirting ones were great, as was the Hustler beaver type pics.  Perhaps a little closer up?  Again, kidding aside...I enjoyed your website...I almost feel like I should drop a token into my computer to keep the show going!  She...could...go....all....the.....way!

As a webmaster myself, I'll give you some comments

First, I do like your background, nice calm colors and easy to read text on.

However, there is just too much on it. Get rid of the Java Applets. Get rid of all the unnecessary images on the various pages. Dial up users will be pulling their hair out waiting for it all to load up.

Aside from the photo gallery, which a viewer will spend more time looking at yummy pictures of you, the rest of the site should be able to be navigated thru and the info read in under 10 minutes, or you lose the viewer. If a page takes a minute to load (again, not a page with a yummy picture on it) again, you will usually lose the viewer.

Simple is best. If you'd like to see my idea of a "simple and straight forward" site, here are a few that I have done. You can get thru every page in the site in under 10 minutes (again, not counting picture galleries) and get all the info you need.

www.JanBradyGoneBad.com
and
www.KCbiAmber.com
and
www.GirlsOfKansasCity.com

*smiles*
Jan

From a web developer's standpoint:

The good:  
You seem to have a theme, which many sites do not.  The rain drops are a nice touch.
The site's relatively easy to navigate with the links on the bottom of all the pages.  I prefer links closer to the top but having them is a good thing.
I'm not necessarily averse to the cute story with the pictures, but a previous poster is right.  You'll want those pictures to have a very small file size so they don't take a long time for modem users to download.  The story itself does a good job of conveying your personality.

The not-so-good:
Sound is almost never well-integrated into a site.  This is no exception.  Think of the poor hobbyist whose S.O. might decide to check up on what's going on with the rain noise?  And there's no way to turn it off.
You'll want to ask yourself if having a guestbook and links page is really that useful.  Are the banners generating revenue?  What's the guest book do?  Since I don't see any entries, I'd suspect you're the only person who can see it so it's more a feedback link I think.

Tips:

There are a couple ideas that you can't go wrong with.  First if you can keep a person from having to click down an extra layer to see something that's a good thing.  For instance the Gallery page requires two levels of clicks to get to images under each category.  You may want to try and pull them up onto the same page, maybe using headings showing the month they were taken in.  Extra clicks is like having a customer wait in line to wait in line.

Second, whenever possible keep important information "above the fold".  Just like a newspaper keeps the big stories on the top half of the front page, web sites should do the same thing (if they have a fold at all).  For instance, your picture on your bio page cuts off and you have to scroll to see those pretty blue eyes.  And none of the links to images on your gallery page are above the fold.  Be proud of them, put them up top for the world to see!  Also I'd recommend not underlining anything; most hyperlinks are underlined so if your text is underlined too it can confuse people who think the text links to somewhere else.

Most importantly make sure people know how to get in touch with you!  If I like what I see how do I proceed?  Do I email you?  Call you?  Use the Guestbook?  As a hobbyist I find myself doing pretty much the same thing on any site I see.  I click past the disclaimer, check the gallery, check the rates, then look for contact info.  Anything else, biographies, interests, links, these are not so important to a hobbyist until after he's made the decision to contact you.  Then he'll want to look around a bit more to make sure you have an enjoyable time when you're with him.

I could go on and on but that's the gist.  If you have any questions for me feel free to PM me through TER or toss me an email at [email protected].