I have always been nervous about reference requests on two counts.  First, should permission be requested of the provider used as a reference before her name is given out?  Second, how you you feel when a hobbyiest gives you as a reference and wants to see someone else in the same city?  Anger, jealousy??? I tend to repeat multiple times with my favorites, but every once in a while, like variety.

Ask his previous provider first, before giving other providers references. The gentleman should also make sure that his previous provider is prompt, and right on time in getting back to his prospective provider with information.

I will admit, that we girls DO (even those who pretend that they are not) get jealous, but it is what it is: his wanting VARIETY in his life. It is not our right to withold information, act catty, refuse to see the gent again, if he chooses to exercise his rights in wanting to see another girl. To me, that is downright silly.

Ms. Variety.

[complete on your own]

i gotta run to a BBQ party (it's a wonderful day in Boston). see ya!


happy "independence" to all you independent providers out there!

VarietyIsTheSpiceOfLife is correct that if you are going to use a provider as a reference that you should contact that lady in advance.  

However long before using one of your favorites as a reference you should attempt to sound here out about how she feels about you seeing other providers.  Remember that even though she say she doesn't care about it she may have bad feelings about you seeing other providers.  If you have any doubts do not use your favorite as a reference.  If she is jealous she will probably still see you but your sessions with her may be a little cooler than before you used her as a reference.  

Another alternative is to see if you can make the new provider comfortable with you without a reference from another provider.

If the new provider that you are dying to see will absolutely not see you without a provider reference and you don't want to use your favorite as a reference then you could see another provider who does not require a reference and then use her as a reference for the new provider.

In order to clear up a question somebody asked me, when I say a provider may be jealous of you seeing another provider it is probably not because she is in love with you but more likely because she wants to see all of your $$ coming her way.

-- Modified on 7/5/2003 12:47:20 AM

If the providers get jealous of a hobbyist seeing another provider ... then are hobbyists jealous of the provider seeing another hobbyist? Isn't a 'we only see each other only' relationship more like dating, exclusively? Like something more serious than casual.

It's a fact that the providers have been with other men. We guys can live with that. (Of course she didn't enjoy it, right guys?) And providers know that the guys they are seeing have been with other women. (Of course he didn't enjoy it because no one provides the service like you the provider provides, right providers?)

So why the jealousy? Kinda seems like a double standard doesn't it? If variety is good for one, then it's good for all. And if it's that good, then I'll take several, thank you.

Confused Newbie,
Jimbomania

PS. Thought of the day:

Too much self love just makes you jealous of the people who envy you.

We are women lol I will be the first one to admit, I get catty, jealous, envious, greedy, etc. But, for me to act on either one of those emotions in my every day life, I would get: NO WHERE.  A provider should never let a client see her sweat, no matter how her emotions may be. A client will always remember the positive points about his previous provider, and come back for more. But, if she is putting up a fuss, he will remember that, and probably not want to see her again. Then it would be her loss. Someone else's gain for good.

Miss Variety.

I've only had to use references twice.  The first time, I used my ATF, and within 2 minutes of the reference I had her calling me asking what the heck I was doing (with a grin in her voice).  The reference was for a provider 800 miles away.  She was only 1/2 joking.


-- Modified on 7/4/2003 5:37:19 PM

So, I guess it boils down to no matter what we do, who we see or be seen with ... we are still humans, and humans have emotions and sometimes those emotions can't be turned off ... just not always acted upon.

BTW ... as a provider ... if you're not sweating, is the session/hobbyist no good? ~ Sex and sweating were kind of a goal I thought.

Kisses,
Jimbo

PS. Miss Variety, where/who are you? A link/picture anything.

I get jeolous if my customers take thier business elsewhere.  In fact I get offended.  Sometimes depending on who the customer is if they come back and they always do I may increase the rates I charge them.  Since I am not a provider I would think that at least some of this is true for anyone who has to build their own client base.

Sweating= hot, steamy, fun

Of course, it could mean that it's too damn hot outside, as well LOL
Now, now, now,  you know I could never reveal who I am. But, I will say this as a clue:  ahhh forgetabboutit lol I want to remain a secret


Thanks

Miss Variety

-- Modified on 7/4/2003 6:48:28 PM

I'm very open to providing references. And I don't mind sharing - so long as I still get to visit with him from time to time, too!! LOL
I don't know about jealousy, but I do feel a little 'twinge' in the heart..just as some of my clients have told me they've felt when they see a new review go up.
It's just the way it is, baby..

How silly! I frequently give references or ask for references from other ladies and I have never encountered anyone being anything other than completely forthcoming, professional and helpful in this regard.

MM

That "twinge" you so warmly speak of quickly turned into raging Hellfire when my "totally professional" ATF found out I saw another provider. I distinctly heard something about the "MONEY" spit from her angry, persed lips.

  Cm

 

As usual M you see things as I do...never even occurred to me to get jealous of another provider...what I have always done and M can attest to this as she was My partner in crime back in our stripping days where competition is much fiercer, was to keep it in the family so to speak. Invariably two or three of my best customers would come in at the same time. Rather than being forced to blow one off and make them jealous of eachother I would introduce them to my good friend M for some of her great couch dancing skills and take care of my other customer while he was happily distracted. She in turn did the same when she needed me to customer sit and keep the riff raff away. We both made money almost every shift, our customers were happy, and we didn't have to worry that we would lose them. I did have one of my customers tell me once with a desperate little plea..."Please tell M not to bite my nipples so hard it hurts" I told him that he was gonna have to tell her himself LOL...guess your hotness made up for the pain cause he kept right on enjoying our doubles nipple biting and all. I swear I would see you get him and it was all I could do not to laugh my ass off while he squirmed...The funniest thing about it is it was sooo obvious that he was learning to dig it.

Any way sorry to digress there, I tell my clients, espeically the ones I know from experience are the variety type, about several of my friends that I know will treat him right and I to provide a reference should he need it. Works out great and they always come back around and are very appreciative. It is espeically valuable in the times you can't show up yourself...and face it it does happen. Instead of stewing and missing out on time he was planning on enjoying he still gets to have a lovely time and he won't be mad at you or hold a grudge if you couldn't make it. your friend that sees him is thankful for the call and someday she will need you to fill in for her as well.

Besides it has always been my personal philosophy to spread the love

I think it would be better to email the previous lady first, merely as a courtesy and to also jog her memory if it has been a while since she has seen you.  I tell each and every gent that I am most comfortable with to feel free to use me as a reference.

I don't feel anger or jealousy.  If there is someone that I have seen regularly, I do fear that he may not come back to see me again.  Hell, they know that, for I tell them not to forget me and at least come back to visit every once in a while-lol.  I think it has more to do with the comfort level, yes, it is normal over time to have warm feelings toward a gent and dare I say it without seeming cold and callous, yes, the potential loss of what had become guaranteed procurement of gifts does come into play.

But it is the nature of the business and one has to swallow and brace for these things.  A gent has every right to see whom he feels fit and have that variety, without fear of reprecussions from another lady.  Anything else, dare I say, would make her a wife or SO and I do think that is the last thing the gents are looking for in this forum.  So, with that mindset, I never give anyone flack for going somewhere else.

Lauren

I love that philosophy, whether it's in a strip club or as a provider.

There's no question that if a provider friend sends me one of her clients (and obviously she wouldn't send me a jerk), I like him already even before I meet him--a win-win situation for all of us.

And we do, Ginger Girl. We couldn't do, and enjoy the business without you - you make it so fun! And we do spread the love!
Was thinking of contacting Chrissy in Phoenix about one of mine who goes there at least once a week! But, then maybe he's already looked her up himself! LOL!

Kisses,
Sedona

I got some news to tell you so will call you later

MM

I saw in a threesome she had arranged,  she got into this competition thing which the whole deal much better since her friend clearly drank a whole pot of coffee and I ended up putting the cream in her friends coffee rather than her.  (I love these little euphemisms we have)LOL

-- Modified on 7/5/2003 12:00:01 PM

I myself request 1 refference pref. 2! One of the reasons i love TER is that i can use providers reviews and vip status for my safety from weirdo's and L_! This way i don't need personal info that a hobbiest may feel uncomfortable giving. I don't think that as a professional jealousy fits in here. i know that i am not seeking a relationship from my work. People who get jealous may be more happy on something like " friend finder" or going to "Great expectations", not on a site that provides entertainment and sence of safety to hobbiest and providers. That is just my opinion.

It doesn't get said enough.  Ginger is the BOMB!! Dripping Sexy and Brainy too!

I almost screamed "thanks Ginger" recently in the middle of an "O" and Ginger wasn't anywhere nearby! (One of those "backchannel references" GIRLLLLLL~~The love she spreads had me grinning something fierce!)

My "Girls" are the first suggestion I make when I'm too busy to date, that's the way it works, they know who they are and since I know they can be counted on, why wouldn't I reference right back to them?

Like Mara mentioned once:  This kind of dating isn't about fidelity!

*smooch*
Elise