I was talking to a provider the other day about screening issues and she mentioned that some providers use the women-only bulletin boards to post a prospective client's name and solicit comment from anyone who may know him.
   This really upset me. I understand the need for screening but I don't give my real name and info to a provider unless I'm convinced she's legitimate, and I'm trusting her to use some discretion with that information. Throwing it out in such a public way vastly increases the chances that it will come back to haunt me, and I really think it's a violation of my privacy to do so. She argued that there's no big difference between providers talking about men and men writing reviews about providers, but at least providers get to hide behind an alias.
  So, having never seen one of these boards, my questions are:
 Is this really widespread on the women's boards?
 Am I being paranoid?
 Or is this a real problem?

Only if you're doing something you'd hate to have get spread around, like being a insensitive jerk.  If you a classy guy, who shows up well groomed and treats her like the lady she is, how could it be a bad thing.  

Consider it word of mouth advertising and mind your P's and Q's (where the heck did that expression come form anyway).

Jzy,

You will always be subject to risk once you reveal any sensitive information.  The only way to ensure safekeeping of the information is not to give it out.

It closes some doors, but we all have choices to make.

I changed my TER handle because a provider called me at work, left messages using my handle AND real name, etc.  Shoot, I gave her a 7 / 9 rating, too.  IMO, her conduct crossed over (way over) the line of propriety.

I don't ask providers for their ID, so I will no longer provide mine.  My provider refs. from indy's are very positive, I'm told, so that is my primary M.O.  It's kinda like the Amex card, not accepted everywhere, but that's cool with me.

In my case, it's the provider's loss.  However, I fully respect each provider's right to set her own rules.  Sometimes her rules aren't compatible with mine.

Bottom Line = REAL PROBLEM

Silk

Are you saying that this IS their screening? Or this is in 'addition to'? Because that makes all the difference in my response?

I've posted so much on screening already, I'm not even gonna go there, but I will say this. Many don't know what screening is, or how to do it, and others are just sheerly lazy.

If your answer is that this IS their screening (only), then they are both lazy AND foolish. Nuff said.

As to your questions:
Widespread: have no idea - not here
Paranoid: paranoid? No. Cautious, yes. Both can be good
Problem: Sure! There are some good boards out there, but there are NO guarantees that LE cannot infiltrate them - and they do. They can even infiltrate the 'private' ones, and they do. But LE is not the only 'enemy'. Carelessness is an even greater one.

Have you ever seen someone forward your email? Without even thinking of all that is 'below' if they scrolled down?? Nevermind the email addresses showing, etc! Zillions of things that people do simply because they aren't thinking and/or because they haven't been shown another, better way.

I agree with you feeling your privacy is threatened. And yes, there is a better way for all of the above. If the ladies know what they are doing, there isn't any reason for you to worry..

And a gents name, still mentioned as privately as possible, should only be mentioned in a forum, if he's DANGEROUS, or a serious RIPOFF, etc. Can't think of any other reason!

This is something that goes on everyday and it is a big problem. It is one of the many reasons why I won't give out my work number either. Sometimes other providers will take the private information and circulate it. Providers need to be very careful. We had some problems in the DC area. The clients found out and told the providers off in a public message board. Remember nothing is private in any private message board.

You should be very paranoid. What providers don't realize is that the abuse of the reference/private information is going to hurt them economically. Once the word gets out that they are not trust worthy, clients won't use providers anymore. We can always go back to rosy palmer, lol.

There also have been problems where clients wifes have been contacted. You see this happen 2-3 a times a year.

Be very careful about contacting providers from landlines, especially if you all from a listed number. Even if you a non-published number, they can get alot of information on you.

There have been alot of problems from time to time in this message board and other where clients phone numbers have been posted !!! I am glad that moderators deleted the posts on both boards.


-- Modified on 12/17/2003 2:15:46 PM

Check this link out.  A local provider in the Twin Cities, who was known for being somewhat popular, just gave out a clients name and phone number on the public board.  You can never be too safe with your personal information.  Thank goodness that TER Staff banned and delisted this provider.  Any provider, whether intentional or not, that publicizes this kind of info in public should be removed from this forum.  

Stay Safe!

Sedona, I don't think it was the only means of screening but my concern is someone going on the boards and saying something like, "Hey, Real Name in Newark just asked me for a date. He gave me his work info and it checks out but I'm wondering if anyone else ever did business with him?"

That puts the person's real name out to a large audience, opening him up to potential blackmail or whatever from people he never even met or contacted.

when I posted to the thread above.

That is wrong, and that is lazy and that breaks 'Provider Rules', but the problem is, with so MANY ladies jumping on the Escort wagon, there are people who have NO IDEA what the 'rules' are!
So, if you don't know, you don't know you're doing 'wrong'! Then, it's hard to fault them other than common sense.

Man, I'm so sad to see that escort-watch is no longer in existence! The best material EVER and now it's gone. I used to just refer ladies and guys to that site and say READ!

Yes, this is a very real problem.  Most clients want and all clients deserve to have their personal information kept discreet.  Posting this data on an internet forum or message board is totally unacceptable and unprofessional.

The saying comes from the days of hand-set type in printing presses.  Since the letters are all reversed (mirror image) and has to be set right to left to print correctly, it's easy to confuse a p for a q and vice-versa.  Thus, "mind your p's and q's".

If you know the names (working names) of the ladies  using this method of screening please post the names on your local board.  What you are describing is potentially very scary.  Whether these ladies are ignorant of the rules as Sedona suggests or are knowingly breaking the rules will be of little importance to you if having your real name publicly outed causes you problems.

Your fellow hobbyists deserve to be protected from such behavior as much as possible.

And to Rjagoodwitch - I don't agree with your reasoning and putting the shoe on the other foot I have yet to meet a provider who felt that it would be a good idea to post her real name on a men's only board or for that matter a ladies only board.  Even if the post was good for business the potential problems generally outweigh the benefits.

In England, in days of yore, beer came in pints or quarts. Admonishing one to watch their alcohol intake became 'mind your p's and q's.

As to the subject, you ladies feel free to bandy my real name and personal info around as long as you don't mind if I do the same for you. After all, if you're not an insensitive jerk and treat us like the gentlemen we are, how could it be a bad thing?

Puck wrote: In England, in days of yore, beer came in pints or quarts. Admonishing one to watch their alcohol intake became 'mind your p's and q's.

That's one theory... I prefer the one that printers (the guys who printed things, not that laser on your desktop) had to put the letters in the press by hand.  The letters were backwards so that the print would come out right.  It's easy to confuse a backwards p with a backwards q hence the phrase.

It came from the hobby of coin collecting. Old coins had to treated very carefully so as not to harm them. To clean a coin expertly was called "frazing". The coin had to be immersed in a liquid named "pease", then it was bathed in another liquid known as "kyuse". It was essential to get the order of these two baths correct Hence: "Be sure to mind your pease and kyuse" -- to fraze a coin.

Personally I think the reference to taverns is most plausible as it pertains to manners.

There had been quite a storm on the Twin Cities board lately about a lady who 'accidently' posted  a client's telphone number.  After 100 reads the moderator pulled the post and she has been banned. Many of us believe her when she says it was accidental, but if that information is floating around out there the chance of a client being outed goes up.

and i believe it is more for dangerous clients and not every guy out there. (ones who have ripped off or physically hurt ladies)

Email addresses and board names are only used.  I'm not the board moderator but I can assure you their true identify is definitely not used.  May men uses fiticious first and last names which sounds ligit but aren't actually their true identity.  Most clames like this only comes from escorts that are new to the buz.

xoxo

You may or may not be correct however since he does not name any specific boards it is hard to say for sure what is happening.  There are enough different boards out there it is hard to know what is going on with all of them.

Well we all know that all these paranoid delusions are nothing to worry about.

After all, when providers state they delete all your information after the meeting has taken place, they are telling the TRUTH! Right?

I believe them because I had a provider call me after one year of no contact on my part to try and schedule a date with me. Guess she must have a photographic memory to remember my info after that long period of time.

So lets relax and give the ladies what they request for so the paranoia, I mean fun can continue.

I don't really see this as a problem.  You know what you subject yourself too when you choose to participate in this seedy, deceitful, downlow business.  Most men are married, with girlfriend, and not at all telling anyone what they're doing on the side.  Whatever makes these girls feel safe, by all means, but let the buyer beware.  Privacy?  This isn't a legitimate, business, it's illegal.  Choose to participate, well it is what it is....I personally used to see a bunch of girls and have narrowed it down to one provider and maybe two if she's busy or can't be found (which happens often in this business).  Want to to have complete trust and privacy?  Don't venture out here.