With the recent threads about overnights and travel with providers, the devil's advocate in me (a female) wonders if any married men feel guilty at the extra expense involved with traveling with providers.

I think many of us understand the strong male libido and need for sexual variety. We accept that many guys, married or single, enjoy seeing a pretty girl for an hour or two and can probably justify the expense of an occasional meeting with her.

But when it comes to making travel plans that will cost  thousands in provider fees, do some of you married guys ever feel guilty that this money could have been better spent on the wife, kids, or household items (like the new carpet the wife has wanted for a long time)?

Of course married men want to be responsible partners and parents.

But is it being financially responsible to spend all that money just to have a sex-filled vacation or business trip?

Not to mention the ensuing marital storm if your wife ever found out you took her to Hawaii.

I can fully understand the question of guilt but I would have to
answer this question with a question for the posted question.
What would make anyone think that it would be the mans
sole reponsibilty to provide for the household?
The way I learned it ( after my divorce) is that both people
are in it equally, So where does it come into to play that a
man should feel guitly for taking care of his own needs?
Now if a woman is working outside the home and she wants new
carpet and what not, then I can agree with the guilt that a
married man would endure for having spent a large amount of
$$$$ to get his jollies. But if the woman is soley dependent on
his income alone then maybe she should rethink her postion
and maybe attempt to work toward a less dependent relationship
with her husband, and a greater self esstem for herself.
and to further give input to this post, I would have to say that
sometimes life is not fair and its what you do to deal with
it that is what counts, I hobbied during my marriage and I do
not feel the least bit guilty for having done so. the reason
for my lack of guilt it because I was a sole provider to my
families needs and I was burdened with taking care of my wife's
needs but when it came to my needs? Well I was just a low life
mule who was supposed to see to everyones else's needs and
mine went largeley unmet! don't get me wrong here, I am just
giving a different angle to look at here.

1. Some of the most financially responsible men I know are my longest appt clients.
Having said this  something I have observed is this, clients with loads money are not the big spenders,clients with plenty of money spend more than they should, and clients with little money spend what they can.
I appreceiate a man who gives plenty of little more than a man who gives a little of his plenty.

2. This is a hobby and one's hobby should not affect negativly the finaces of the individual,their family or their spouse. If your income brachet or conscience should be bothered by doing and overnight or travel with your lady, then you should not do it.
3. I know providers who will stop seeing clients if they feel that they are creating a negative impact on that individuals life in any way.

If you have money to spare that would noramlly go to your golf fund then by all means see your favorite lady. But if you dont have money in your golf fund then extra money would maybe be better spent on jimmy's braces,her carpet, or that new deck.

Wouldnt you want ot be able to say to your wife if she caught you ..yes honey i did this but it NEVER affected our budget or our children in any way?

If you cant afford this hobby dont do it because the damage will be more than your pleasure.

And most providers want to be a postive behind the sences pleasure  and influence in a mans life.  They dont want to know that everytime they see you that you your family or your children are making the sacrifce for your pleasure.  Trust me in this, knowing a man is addcited is not a turn on but a turn off in a  huge way. Please play responsibly.

-- Modified on 8/18/2003 4:20:00 PM

Nicely said.  An addiction is an addiction, be it alcohol, gambling, or anything else.