Need to give some background first.

I've been at the hobby for 2+ decades with maybe a 5 year break.  Spent about 30K my worst (best?) year and maybe about 5K in an average year.  Current finances and obligations had me planning to spend about 400-500 per month - 2 x 1 hour.

Over the years I've had some good relationships with providers including 2 that became very close friends.  Always followed an unspoken rule of never asking for or accepting a "freebie" and never given/lending money or lavish gifts.

Here's my problem.  A couple of months ago I met a provider who had really hot pictures.  Less than half my age.  Not one who I thought would become a regular stop but I had to try once.  My regulars are usually close to my own age.  I had to book a 2 hour session because of the distance she had to travel to get to me.  Which was fair.

She turned out to be smart, witty, sarcastic, very open and just a pleasure to be around.  I've seen her 5 more times each time for 2 hours and am spending about 2 times what I intended.  She's very accomodating but with my experience I can tell she doesn't like the actual sex.  

She's fairly new to the business and not very good at the business part of it.  First time I saw her she charged me 300 per hour then after that she agreed to 250 which has always been my limit.  I paid the first time figuring it was a one time indulgence.  She doesn't get enough independent clients so sometimes she works for an agency.  One time I called for an appointment and she told me she had already agreed to work for the agency that night and suggested I call them.  I did and ended up seeing her for 200 per hpour of which she got 120.  Outside this hobby or with a different provider I'd probably have used info like that to bargain her indy rate with me down but in this case it just felt wrong.

She's a student and is doing this to upgrade her lifestyle from starving student to decent so I'm guessing she doesn't need to make more than 1K-2K per month.  The way she is going, she's going to get busted or hurt or both.

Do I try to help?  I could
A) Keep seeing her fairly frequently giving her the ability to cut back on others.  Problem here are I only wanted to spend 500 per month and now would be spending twice that to get 2 sessions.  Also, she'd have to keep seeeing others indy or agency because she never know when I'll call.
B) Tell her that I promise to spend 1000 per month on her for the next 2 years.  That would give her the chance to cut down ro stop others if she wanted.  Problem is it isn't what I was looking for but I guess I could.  In this case do I just quietly settle for 2 x 2 each month or do I push for more for my money?  Certainty and safety are surely worth something.
C)offer to introduce her ot a friend of mine who used to be a provider and have the friend explain the business.

I'm not trying to be a savior and certainly not looking for any happily everafter.  I just think she is a really nice girl and don't like thinking of her getting into trouble.

Thanks for reading.

She has to work when the agency wants her too or she will be let go. try to get her into being an independent.handing her number out to fine gents she likes.
(Agency owners, dont read that LOLOL )

1 000 a month is nothing unfortunatly, when a girl is used to a grand a day.Or More than a grand a week.

So by your own assessment she doesn't enjoy having sex with you but your willing to help her out by putting her through it twice a month for the next two years as a way to raise her standard of living?

In my humble opinion, if you really wanted to help a student age provider out, you'd help her get out of providing.

I don't mean to demean your generous offer, and I'm sure your impulse to help her is a sincere one, but I think she's taking the easy way out to make money and you're not doing her any favors by encouraging it.  True she may well continue to provide, but at least you can sleep easier.

If you are inclined to keep seeing her I don't see why you would spend more than you are comfortable with.  I would think it may well end up causing resentment because I doubt if she will view it as generosity on your part (you're not giving her anything, your expecting something for your loyal patronage) and you will end up feeling unappreciated for what you'll feel is a sacrifice born of spending beyond your budget.

Sorry I can't be more enthusiastic about your humanitarianism.

that loves sex?

I have to agree with Some Nerd on this.  It doesn't make much sense to continue patronizing her services if you can tell she is not "into" the sessions with you.  If she is that new and that young she may be compromising herself to make the kinda of fast money she wants, but quite possibly does not really like what she does. Is it possible that maybe your desire to help is also riddled with  a little selfishness on your own part?  Maybe you really like her and find her attractive, and like having sex with her and are hoping to subconciously "keep her" so to speak.  Since she is an adult and she has made the choice to dabble in the trade she is going to have to learn what is necessary to keep herself safe and make money at the same time.  My personal opinion on this issue is that maybe you could simply introduce her to other Indies in the trade who can guide her on the do's and don'ts and or help her in the way of marketing.  You won't be able to convince her to quit because she has already gotten a taste of the money.  That will be something she will have to do on her own in her own time.  Good luck to you and her, and I hope you find a happy medium in this situation.  I do think it is commendable that you have a desire to help her.  You obviously see her as a real human being and not someone who is merely "disposable".

Kisses,
Kat

Thanks Ciara and Nerd for the honest replies.  I need to explain a little more cause I have nobody  else to talk to about this.  I have an SO and a kid at home and am in the hobby so I'm not trying for any moral sainthood here.

I've always had a rule not to see pimped woman or druggies at least not more than once.  Not the same here but still a little uncomfortable.  Problem with this provider is she's only working as much as she has to to get by. As an indy when she can or through an agency if she needs to.  Not making a grand a week.  Often not even half that.

I remember going to school and trying to survive on finaid.  I had some help from my family and a little merit money and it was still tough.

I can't suggest she stop being a provider cause I don't have another suggestion.  I'm not going to offer her an allowance out of the goodness of my heart.

She told me I'm her favorite client and I believe her even if it translates to I dislike being with you less than I dislike being with the other guys.

I wasn't saying 1000 a month and I'd want her exclusive.  In fact if I do offer her the 1000 a month I'd be happier if she did keep seeing others but I don't she would.  If she did then I'd know she didn't really dislike the work too much.

Other issue is I'm concerned for her in the business.  First time we met her entire screening was asking me if I was a cop and she showed up at my friend apt that I borrow by herself and made no checkin calls before or after.

So like I asked before, do I introduce her to someone who can maybe explain more about the business and/or do I offer he my guananteed business to give her the choice to stop seeing others ro do I do nothing?

you cannot save someone from their own destructive behavior.  The loved ones of alcoholics can tell you this first hand.  All you do is create a codependent relationship that is destructive to both of you.

I also agree that 1000 per month will not hold her to you (not that this is what you want) but it will not change the "risky" behavior.  It sounds like you already know she is heading for a crash.  The question is ... are you going to be part of it.

My advice is painful and something you will probably not take.  But I suggest you sit down with her (after your last visit) and explain where you think she is heading.  And then tell her you are going to take a break from seeing her.  Tell her to take 3 months or 6 months and get her act together and then contact you if it is something she wants to do.

The chances are remote that you can help this girl.  There is something very addictive about this hobby... both for men and women.  For men, it's whatever floats your boat... the sex, the faux romance, the variety, the lack of commitment and emotional bullshit.

For women, it's not just the money... but the lifestyle (although I am sure a provider could fill this part in better than me).

You are headed for trouble.  And you have done this long enough to know I am right.  It isn't what you want and none of us here (men) are using the best judgment all the time... so I am not throwing stones at you.  But if you pull back and think about this... you may discover I am right.

Otherwise... I'm just full of hot air as usual.  Good luck my friend... and BE careful.

Seems likes lots of stories lately of guys falling too hard too fast these days. This logic defies explanation in that he's already saying the sex is less than ideal. Like many of us, he's got that "rescue" gene and he'll likely get disappointed. These younger gals especially are out for the quick buck for sometimes less than a HJ. You are absolutely right that he won't be able to get her to quit or even curtail her activities. Who would quit such a sweatheart deal of 1k a month for some meaningless sex? Not this gal for sure and as cold as it sounds, she's making herself expendable. Here's an example of the type of girl that he's paying for almost nothing.

-- Modified on 2/24/2006 1:02:11 PM

I agree with all of the above posts and would add...

You want to help a student? - look for scholarship programs - they are there.  Consider other things - exotic dancing ('member - she does not like the sex - but is a hottie).

She doesn't like the sex.... my advice to any lady considering this line of work- if you don't like sex - you are in the wrong field.  find something else.... cause this will not do good things for you if you don't like sex.

Clearly you like this girl, have you spoken to her wrt your feelings for her?  Have you admitted them to yourself... your post was long - to present the situation - almost as if you were trying to convince us(?) or yourself....

She is in this.... she made this decision... if you really want to help you may speak with her - ask her "how much to keep you from being an escort?"  The reason for this is to bring a focus to what you are asking as to what she is doing.

I have dated escorts, strippers and assorted others....   married an MD.  never tried to get any of them to quit what they do for a living - just be honest about it.  If they are - believe it or not - they will make good choices.  And, for what it is worth.... were I female - I would rather be a great courtesan - than a bad wife.  To me - it is about honesty - wrt who you are - as a person.

I have seen that type before. Enormously Beautiful faces. Sweet supple bodies. They bank on making you give up your one pop quickly. The sad part is that if they provided a high level of service, fortunes will drop at their feet.

be enough to get 90 minutes of afternoon delight every other Wednesday. That's pretty close to an entire month!

-- Modified on 2/24/2006 5:29:44 PM

and your story though a bit more embellished says very little about why you think you need to save her and the rest of the poor down and out providers. She could afterall, concentrate on getting an education so she'll know how to the run her state-owned brothel in about 3 or 4 years. You owe her nothing and if you substituting as her sugar daddy then fine, lots of guys do that and love the attention that comes with it. She'll gladly accept your money and/or learn from any connections that might help her become better at the business end of providing. You've got all of the answers, you mention them and you still want to know what you should do? As was stated on another board, send me the 1k a month, I'll fly down 4 days a week, teach her the biz, screen her callers, and take 30% off the top. While you are at it, turn me on 3 or 4 more girls in your vicinity that need similar help and I will coach them and take an additional 30% off their booty, fly home on Fridays, and spend at least a couple of hours supporting my local providers. Case closed.

I think it's safe to say that the $1k/month doesn't fix anything but putting your money in her pocket.  In case you're waiting for enough people to say it, you could give it to me and I'll ditribute it to providers on your behalf.  If you REALLY want to help her, for whatever reason, hook her up with an experienced provider that will help her along.  At a minimum, she'll be safer than she is now.  Hopefully that lady can also get her to question herself about why she does it.  Beyond that, she's an adult and capable of making her own choices.

You should probably spend less time around her, rather than more, at least until she figures out her situation and you figure out why you need to put yourself in so much risk to help her.

Good luck, however you decide to proceed.