Why on God's earth is it impossible for the scenario you described to happen? Improbable? yes, a good foundation for a long lasting relationship? No...
But possible?? Of course it is. I do not consider myself naive but it would seem to me that when you deal with intimacey at this level, it is possible that two people could potentially fall in love. We are talking about human beings. Not every provider who talks marriage is desperate and not every hobbyist is naive.
I think it is "naive" to assume because these things happen although rare, that it is because everybody is stupid or naive..
she loves him! The naivete on this board amazes me!
-- Modified on 4/21/2003 1:07:05 PM
Aint it the truth! Had a gorgeous, petite, stacked provider talking marriage to me all the time. We were steady for over a year and fully understanding of why we both were there, nothing make-believe and I consistently told her that, but she just wouldn't let up. It was all about money of course, and any marriage would have lasted a short but memorable few weeks, and we talked about that, but still she pressed on. Well turns out that things were far worse for her than I knew (surprise, surprise), and desperation fed desperation and she began escorting unscreened from the club where she danced (still call that escorting?) and at all hours of the day and night, and piled up on pills to keep up the high and energy needed to maintain all that, and bingo, all came crashing down with DUI and possession and robbery charges (the latter never took but should have) and what looks like the next year in jail and rehab. Only reason I recount this here is that when the "m" word shows itself, maybe it's a sign of near-the-end-of-the-line in terms of money and depression and anxiety and all, and time for us hobbyists to move on. Not that we're heartless. I contributed a lot to this gal and helped her through many a bad scrap, and was genuinely fond of her and blown away by the companionship, but in the end was helpless if not prepared to become totally personally involved, which of course is not why I'm in this game. And any hobbyists out there who think you are here for that, think again, because it's a deep dark hole the poor and uneducated and addicted can sink into and you don't want to be dragged down where they are.
I read it a few times and must admit that I'm still not sure of what you are saying.
On one hand it sounds like you're saying the girl was after your money from the outset. It also sounds like you felt she was using you and wanted to marry you in order to divorce you and get half of your possesions.
On the other hand it sounds like you might also be saying that you had true feelings for this girl and that you went out of your way to help her in her legal and financial obligations. Again, it sounds like you felt that over time you became unable to keep yourself from becomming immersed in the situation and totally involved with her.
I'm not sure either about the poor, uneducated and addicted comment. Who are you referring to there? Are you saying that about providers?
Thanks,
HPG
Both 2nd and 3rd paras are true. I knew the rules but was so taken with her allure that I developed a real fondness. And yes, I helped her in big ways bot financially and emotionally, but nothing like what I'd have been locked into had I been sucked into marriage. That latter would have been what I meant by "totally personally involved". As for the "poor, uneducated and addicted" comment, the first two applied all along and the third developed from the others after things got so desperate that she had to step up her escorting (and worse) activity. She just couldn't hold onto a buck, turned to flirtation to cover dyslexia-aggrevated lack of proficiency in the workplace (which given her looks and allure drew massive suspicion from co-workers and scared hell out of harrassment-shy bosses), and blamed resulting inability to succeed on everyone but herself and just would not seek professional help needed. After that, things became very tricky because the addiction worsened and truth became so jumbled with fabrication that I literally couldn't tell what I was supporting (a decent life style or the uncontrolled spending and pill habit), so dropped out altogether. One thing no one wants to be is an enabler and that's the danger I was flirting with. Anyway, whole point was that when marriage suggestions enter the scene, and given that ATFs know their position in the power heirarchy of the relationship, my guess is that it's time for the hobbyist to back off. Our heads are just too clouded with the romantic that we can't possibly deal with all the probable pitfalls. In my case anyway, it would have been disaster to do otherwise, and I thank my good luck that I was able to think with the right head. Does that clarify things? Maybe not, but never easy when conflicting emotions involved. I do think my experience is fairly predictive so not a waste of time to consider.
poor and uneducated and addicted ?
You really went through some stuff hon. But not all of us gals are like the one you had.You didnt men that toward all of us escort s did you? Ive got lots of education and Im not poor.
Of course I didn't. But then I wouldn't expect you and others at firmer places in their lives than the provider I described to be shopping hobbyists for husbands. I know it can happen, but the power balance seems just too uneven for a successful marriage ever to result. You should know that I love you all and have never had a bad escort experience. Even the one referred to was a great adventure and involved wonderful emotional and physical love. I'm just too romantic not to find that in any escort transaction. And I'm choosy as hell and inevitably end up with the thin, stacked (often enhanced), gorgeous types -- that's just my taste. What I went through was unfortunate because it all just caught up with her and she couldn't adjust. To this day I'm convinced there's an independent productive member of society buried deep within her and only hope jail and rehab time facing her forces that out. I sure wasn't able to achieve it and really and sincerely made the effort over a long period of time. Fortunately I could afford the dollars and emotional strain, but no lack of humility intended, other hobbyists may not be as well equipped.
Why on God's earth is it impossible for the scenario you described to happen? Improbable? yes, a good foundation for a long lasting relationship? No...
But possible?? Of course it is. I do not consider myself naive but it would seem to me that when you deal with intimacey at this level, it is possible that two people could potentially fall in love. We are talking about human beings. Not every provider who talks marriage is desperate and not every hobbyist is naive.
I think it is "naive" to assume because these things happen although rare, that it is because everybody is stupid or naive..
if you read my post with any thought at all. I would suggest that you read it again, perhaps a little slower this time.
-- Modified on 4/21/2003 7:28:28 PM
-- Modified on 4/21/2003 8:24:59 PM