Both 2nd and 3rd paras are true.  I knew the rules but was so taken with her allure that I developed a real fondness.  And yes, I helped her in big ways bot financially and emotionally, but nothing like what I'd have been locked into had I been sucked into marriage.  That latter would have been what I meant by "totally personally involved".  As for the "poor, uneducated and addicted" comment, the first two applied all along and the third developed from the others after things got so desperate that she had to step up her escorting (and worse) activity.  She just couldn't hold onto a buck, turned to flirtation to cover dyslexia-aggrevated lack of proficiency in the workplace (which given her looks and allure drew massive suspicion from co-workers and scared hell out of harrassment-shy bosses), and blamed resulting inability to succeed on everyone but herself and just would not seek professional help needed.  After that, things became very tricky because the addiction worsened and truth became so jumbled with fabrication that I literally couldn't tell what I was supporting (a decent life style or the uncontrolled spending and pill habit), so dropped out altogether.  One thing no one wants to be is an enabler and that's the danger I was flirting with.  Anyway, whole point was that when marriage suggestions enter the scene, and given that ATFs know their position in the power heirarchy of the relationship, my guess is that it's time for the hobbyist to back off.  Our heads are just too clouded with the romantic that we can't possibly deal with all the probable pitfalls.  In my case anyway, it would have been disaster to do otherwise, and I thank my good luck that I was able to think with the right head.  Does that clarify things?  Maybe not, but never easy when conflicting emotions involved.  I do think my experience is fairly predictive so not a waste of time to consider.

Of course I didn't.  But then I wouldn't expect you and others at firmer places in their lives than the provider I described to be shopping hobbyists for husbands. I know it can happen, but the power balance seems just too uneven for a successful marriage ever to result.  You should know that I love you all and have never had a bad escort experience.  Even the one referred to was a great adventure and involved wonderful emotional and physical love.  I'm just too romantic not to find that in any escort transaction.  And I'm choosy as hell and inevitably end up with the thin, stacked (often enhanced), gorgeous types -- that's just my taste.  What I went through was unfortunate because it all just caught up with her and she couldn't adjust.  To this day I'm convinced there's an independent productive member of society buried deep within her and only hope jail and rehab time facing her forces that out.  I sure wasn't able to achieve it and really and sincerely made the effort over a long period of time.  Fortunately I could afford the dollars and emotional strain, but no lack of humility intended, other hobbyists may not be as well equipped.

-- Modified on 4/21/2003 8:24:59 PM