TER General Board
Re:My own reality check.
Since Benjamin Franklin was such a famous ladies' man, one can't help but hope he's smiling (somewhere) that currency bearing his portrait has pleased so many women.
Well, it's finally happened to me, where the distinction between reality and fantasy have become blurred.
A brief synopsis; I usually only see a lady twice at the most and then move on to test the waters again. Well I've finally found a provider who is unbelievably beautiful, intelligent, sexy, and just all around a great lay, to put it bluntly. I've seen her every week for the past few weeks and I'm going to see her again this week. This is where it gets muddled. I've been telling myself that I'm going because I like the sex and the sex only, but I know that I'm telling myself a partial lie...of course there's more.
It kind of bugs me too. I've prided myself in keeping a very level head in this hobby and now this. This is definitely what I don't want to be feeling and thinking and especially in this situation. My fantasy side says, "Hang in there moron!! You never know!!", my reality side says, "Dude, end this nonsense now and move on.", and my pleasure side says, "Are you nuts!!! This chick is hot, cool and a fun partner in the sack!! You can't stop this now!!".
It's time to stop seeing this provider, I know that. But damn it, I don't want too just yet. I guess it's along the same vain as briefly entertaining the notion that the stripper actually likes you.
Ahhhh well. I suspect those emotions creep up at the most unopportune times just to remind you that they're still there and that no amount of rationalizing or pushing them away can make them go away once they're triggered. It's just a bummer that it creeps up in this situation.
Tot Ziens!!
SB
At least your head is clear. Some hobbyist, once myself included, were so deeply involved with a single provider. Started falling in love with the provider. This is a very bad thing and it messes up your head big time. IMHO, one should never fall in love with a provider. This is a client/provider relationship, not a husband/wife, or BF/GF relationship. Providers are paid to be nice, sweet, look good, and make you feel like a king. Then again, when the fun becomes so great, it's hard not to, isn't it? Just play with a clear head my friend. It may seem a provider enjoys your company, but in the end it's the Ben Franklin that the provider really enjoys.
Since Benjamin Franklin was such a famous ladies' man, one can't help but hope he's smiling (somewhere) that currency bearing his portrait has pleased so many women.
. . . but don't count on it. You might be walking out on a very nice fantasy-come-to-life, but if you're serious about your hobbying (and NOT looking for involvement), you'd better bail before you get in too deep.
BTW, I'm a total f***ing hypocrite in this area, so don't mind me.
Lyrics * Can't help falling in love
© 1962 George Weiss, Hugo Peretti and Luigi Creatore
Wise men say, only fools rush in,
But I can’t help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay, would it be a sin?
If I can’t help falling in love with you.
Like a river flows, slowly to the sea,
Darling so it goes,
Some things are meant to be.
Take my hand, take my whole life too.
For I can’t help falling in love with you.
( Like a river flows, slowly to the sea,
Darling so it goes, )
Some things are meant to be.
Take my hand, take my whole life too.
For I can’t help falling in love with you,
For I can’t help falling in love with you.
-- Modified on 8/7/2001 9:12:09 PM
Whether you go full steam ahead or apply the brakes would depend on what you have to lose. If you are married, kids, or an SO that you also care about you might want to put this in reverse.
However, if you are single and unattached I'd say go for it. All you have to lose is a little time. Maybe she will reject you in favor Ben Franklin, but at least you would know that you tried. Maybe she could turn out to be the love of your life.
goodguy is right on. If you're not "spoken for", you may want to play this one out and see what happens. Real relationships do evolve in the hobby and they can be just a fulfilling as any other - and sometimes better (there have been other discussions about this recently on the Boards).
I've got nothin' to lose and I'm not spoken for. But like I said earlier, it's kind of like thinking the stripper actually likes you. But if your level headed, you know that once the money is gone so is she.
I know the reason why I feel like this too. The way we interact, some of the things we say to eachother, the way we touch and have sex and how we greet and say goodbye is totally different from any other provider I've been with. But I pay the fee and she plays her part...almost too well. I haven't been in a relationship for about 3 years now and I guess it's just my subconsious telling me that no matter what I tell myself, I really do miss that genuine interaction and intimacy that comes with being with someone.
Tot Ziens!!
SB
I am on the other side-I guess what you guys would call a provider.I am new to the business.I see a few guys here and there-most of them aren't f/s.One guy I have seen a few times-not at all rich but I have grown very very fond of him.In fact,we when are together,I give him 200% of myself-not at all what I do with the other guys I see.I know it is unprofessional but I am also a bit confused.I know I am not suppose to fall in love.I am curious though-you guys say the chick maybe in it for the guy's money,but what if I tell the guy what I feel?Will he only be in it for freebies?
What is it about this guy? I mean, if your good looking and confident enough to be a provider, I' sure you could pick up any guy just about anywhere.
BTW, what gives you the go ahead for F/S with some, while not for most. Is there a formula you use or is it just a gut thing?
shhhh,
I've got a couple of thoughts for you on this matter:
1. I wouldn't say anything until or unless he first makes it clear that he's of a similar mind. Even then, I would be careful of whatever baggage he might bring with him (married, etc.) If you declare your feelings too soon, it could well end up you doing freebies for a guy who'll just end up using you.
2. What are you, nuts? If you intend to do this for a living and are not planning to quit in the near future, getting involved with a client can totally f**k up your head. Your job will complicate ANY romantic relationship you enter into. Try to imagine how you will feel and what you will do as you try to balance a relationship with working as a provider.
Shhhh, I'll admit that it might just work out, but there are plenty of risks that you really need to think about. I feel for you because I know how it feels from a client's perspective and I've also seen how difficult it can be for a provider after she's crossed that line as well. Good luck to you!
AND DONT LOOK BACK
A rather curious comment Christy. While you could well be right...what special insight do you have to shhh's situation upon which you base such a definitive conclusion??? Perhaps I'm naive, but if he is automatically lying would it then follow if the same words were coming from a gal that she would also be lying???
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