Since this board is pretty much an open forum where no topic seems taboo and the members embody a wide-range of life experiences, I thought I'd post this for feedback and advice.

Last September, I asked this girl out that I sort of knew for a while.  When I say I sort of knew her, she works at the hair salon where I get my haircut, but let me emphasize she is not the girl who cuts my hair, just another stylist. She definitely caught my eye when I first saw her, but I never pursued her because I am stubborn and found approaching her to be different since she would be busy cutting someone's hair and I would only be there once a month for 15 minutes.  I never had this problem with say someone at work that I would see almost every day.  So, I lost interest along the way.

About a year ago, I called the salon to make my appointment and she answered the phone.  We talked for a few minutes and ended up talking to each other more in the next 3 months than we did in the prior years combined, even though the conversations were brief.  During this time, there was one thing I couldn't help but notice about her: she was really sweet.  At this point, I realized what a fool I was to not do anything when I originally thought to.  I decided to ask her out and when I did, her exact reply was, "Really?"  Based on what she said and the way she said it, I asked her if she was surprised by what I said and she said yes.  I didn't know what to say and we left off where she never gave me a yes or no answer.  It also didn’t help I asked her when I was at work when I thought no one was around and then my manager came back from a meeting unexpectedly and I couldn’t talk.

I knew someone who asked out a long-time family friend and she never gave him an answer and he told me to move on, just like he did.  Even though that's not what I wanted to do, I did decide to move on.  Her and I didn't say anything to each other over the next few months.  Two months ago, I asked her how she was doing with a health problem she told me about, without specifically mentioning that since that was the only one she told me about.  She asked what problem was I talking about since she had many problems. She didn’t elaborate on her other problems and I didn’t want to pry if it was something personal.  The only thing she had told me was she had developed bald spots. When I saw her last week, I had a chance to ask her briefly how she was doing and said she was hanging in there.  

I wish I could kick myself in the ass because I haven't done a damn thing right here.  Now I feel guilty that I hadn't spoken with her along with the fact I moved on without really knowing that for sure she didn't want to go out.  

What should I do?  Move on once and for all and realize I fucked up and made mistakes here.  Or try and rectify the situation.

I am particularly interested in what the ladies have to say.

I personally think you're being too hard on yourself. You expressed a lot of feelings in your post and I would guess, given the chance, you would still go out with her. You mentioned she was really sweet and i'm sure there's other qualities about her you've noticed and admired and I wouldn't let the opportunity slip by if you still have interest.  I can see you're having mixed emotions on what to do and your alter ego (male pride) is clouding your judgement. I would do one of two things, 1) call the salon and leave a message for her to give you a call when she has some free time, or 2) next time you see her give her your business card and say your invitation is still open.  This leaves the ball in her court.  If she doesn't call, then you'll know she doesn't have interest.  It might also cause some hurt feelings and you might not want to return to the salon again but there's always a brighter side, you'll be able to console your wounds with a very lovely escort who'll make you feel like a king again.

If you're really interested, ask her out again, but this time get an answer.

Just approach her again, and ask her out.  And this time, be sure you're both clear on her answer.   The worst she'll do is say No.

I asked a women out I had known for few years thinking she would be tickled to go out with me.  Instead she said she would think about it.  I left it at that and waited a month.  I figured like you, maybe I should give it another try.  So I asked her if she had thought about it and she said she had.  But did not think it was a good idea.  If you really have to ask her again go ahead.  But my experience with women is if its not yes it is no.  Si
I have other women who told me no and called me up later and asked me out.  It is just fun so play.

You asked her out, she reacted with surprise and didn't take you up on your offer.  That's a sure sign that the interest is not mutual.  You moved on but remained civil with her as you should have.

Your only mistake is that you're not sure that she doesn't want to go out with you.  Anything other than a yes is a no.  Sometimes even a yes turns into a no later on.  Many women don't have the guts or the honesty to tell a man in a straightforward manner that they don't want to go out with him.  Personally, I really appreciate the ones who tell me frankly they are not interested.  (whether it is because they already have a husband/boyfriend or whatever)

She didn't even leave the door open by saying maybe later or something like that.  

Why do you want to go out with someone who has many health problems and who is developing bald spots anyway?  I know this may sound shallow but I think it is a legit question.  If you need more drama in your life go see a movie.

Personally, it doesn't look like the feeling is mutual, sorry to say.

Most women will show signs of interest, such as frequent glances in your direction; making excuses to come over and talk to you even while working on another customer; being very interested in everything you are saying, even if it's just the weather; your stylist might even hint that the other girl has a crush on you. Those would be good signs if they've happened, but I don't get the sense that they have.

However, I'd still give it one more try in case she is incredibly shy. I like the other provider's post of giving her your phone number and telling her to call you if she is free sometime; act nonchalant so you can still come back to the salon even if she never calls you.

If she likes you, a call should be forthcoming within a few days...or maybe you'll get an unexpected call one night when she's partying out on the town and wants some company--you just never know!

I don't think I would just leave a phone message or a note at the salon because you never know if it will get through or not.

Good luck!

On the terse side I agree with most of the others, ask her out again.

I get a different feeling than some of the others that believe the answer you got was a no/maybe/whatever answer.

You asked her, she said "Really?" and sounded surprised.  Then your boss walked in.  I get the feeling that perhaps she was just flat out surprised that you might be interested in her and that either a)she still can't believe it and is too embarassed to approach you about it or b) she's not the type of woman to ask a guy out.  (There's always of course, c) She only likes women and believes that to be common knowledge.    

As others have said, the worst that could happen is that she says no.  Obviously you've thought a lot about her over a period of time, you're burning synapses to tatters needlessly.  Moving on mean closure of some sort, not "Really?"

Lemme tell you a little story, way back when rocks were soft and before I lost my virginity my neighbor's neice visited her for a week.  Since I was the closest "young person" (13~14) she introduced us and we hung out all week.  During a funny moment playing cards we started fooling around with feet and body parts under the table, but later when 'ole Mum went shopping and we were alone I didn't do a damn thing.  Didn't kiss her, nuttin.  Not stepping up to the plate means you won't lower your batting average, but it also means missing the opportunity to hit one out of the park.

As for health, damn dude, can't a guy just go out on a date, make a friend, or just enjoy another person's company without worry about "how long is this one going to live?"  If she's really ill maybe she could use a thoughtful and caring friend to spend some time with.  He's not bringing diamonds with him to the salon, he's asking her (hopefully) out on a date.


And lastly, to round out this Novel, how the hell are the clubs doing out there?  I've not been back in a while and miss the Chicken House and those other nasty clubs down on Rt 35  

give you an answer. Run!

Afterall, you know what happens after the dentist marries his manicurist? They wind up fighting tooth and nail.
Cheers!....
but seriously... for you to post all of that on this board...it deserves you asking her out again. Your passion for this woman shines through in your post... so go for it and good luck.

Wow, she must be really hot for you to type so much.  But seriously, if some girl is interested, you'll know it 'cause she'll fall all over you.  This girl didn't so she doesn't like you.  Sorry.  Move on dude.

i have to respond to this.  u stated she had a health problem...or a few...thid might be a delicate subject for her. embarassing to reveal to someone she might like.  do ask her again. to go out..not the health thing. if u want to make it more comfy...make plans for a show or concert blah blah with a group and invite her as your companion.  takes a little pressure off i think.  my mom hated my dads gutds when she met him.  determined and persistant was my great papi...they are now life partners.  u never no what is in sstore.  u obviously had some type of connection.  a potentially great friendship or whatever...just don't set your mind on one outcome, usually with people it the one THEY want. when it doesn't go the way they want the beater gets hurt.  been there done that a few times.  took time to figure out...may happen again.  i think that when U shoose to get involved in relations...u also willingly and knowingly put urself in a position where u can be potentially hurt.  go with da flow...no expectations no disappointment.
OOPS I DID IT AGAIN.....till no sleep.  lay down...my eyes fell open again.