I neet to vent and I don't know where else to go.  If you look at some of my old posts you will see that I was considering asking a providor I had previously seen to meet me for a weekend in Vegas.  I did, and she accepted immediately.  She even gave me her real name and phone number because I registered her for a show she was very excited about attending.  The communication between the time of acceptance and the weekend was rocky at best.  She would basically dissapear for two weeks or more, then all of a sudden I would hear from her again confirming our meeting.  To make a long story short, I waited for two days for her to show up.  I know two days is stupid, but late in the first day I did get an email from her telling me she would be in Vegas the following morning.  She has not responded to any further emails or phone calls.

Bascially, I figure I spent $1,000 to make this weekend happen and I was left holding the bag.  But the money was not near as bad as the time wasted, the anger, frustration, dissapointment and utter feelings of stupidity for being such a sucker.

Now for my question.  I did manage to meet a fantastic provider in Vegas after I was stood up.  She suggested this girl's actions may have to do with a "boyfriend" or someone that might have undue influence over her.  I would like to get some other people's thoughts.

FYI It could have been just as bad if she DID show up.  Recently, I took a lady to a week long tropical vacation at a well known resort in the Caribbean.  Well, it turns out that she had left her kids with her boyfriend, and her boyfriend happened to have a court appearance on the first day of our trip.  Net result was, the BF was going to have to spend 5 days in jail for a prior drunk and disorderly arrest.  And the lady, who was with me, spent almost the entire 1st 2 days on her cell phone trying to arrange alternate child-care arrangements for the 5 days he was in lockup.  Now, I couldn't very well tell her NOT to spend the time making sure her very young kids had adult supervision during our trip.  But she was NOT focusing on MY feelings when she was focusing on making sure her kids were taken care of.   This bit of drama put a serious crimp in my vacation.  And I can assure you, I had spent more on the trip than you did in yours.  If I wasn't such a nice guy, and we hadn't agreed to an arrangement that was NOTICEABLY less than her published rates, I'd have felt fully justified had I paid her significantly less than what we agreed upon.  Nonetheless, I DID feel short changed in this deal.

Just wondering if you've talked to her about the trip after you got back? I'm curious as to what she has to say. It may not have been her fault directly, but she does owe you a follow-up. If there were other influences on her schedule, then she should have told you up front!! Unfortunately, as another post has proven, this kind of stuff happens... It doesn't justify her actions, but it is a danger when you plan these sort of trips. There are lots of other distractions involved like SO's, children, other regular clients, etc.

I would recommend being on EXTRA EXTRA good terms (i.e. lots and lots of prior visits) with the provider before ever planning this kind of extended trip. I speak from experience!  Also, as you learned the hard way, it is a good idea to have a back-up plan just in case.

Whoa, bro...I'd be pissed as hell. I did ask a provider to go to Vegas with me someday, but nothing definite. Now I think I won't. If I have a brain fart and decide to, however, I'll mitigate my damages with a serious backup plan--maybe ask another provider to standby, or have the provider accompany me to Vegas.

I bought my ex-favorite provider a Tiffany bracelet and a dozen long-stemmed yellow roses (for friendship) and she stood me up on our last date. She called days later but I didn't tell her what she missed. I guess being a sucker sometimes is all part of the game.

It sounds to me that she was having issues prior to your trip.  I am really sorry that it happened to you.  She should have treated you with much more respect, and I do hope one day you have at least an explanation.  You deserve far more, and hopefully she will realize that.

On to my vent. I drove up to Las Vegas this weekend with a client/friend.  We went to the convention together, with another friend of his as well.  I had dinner plans with a friend on Saturday night, and they had dinner plans, which worked out great.  Problem became that during our short separation (we were all meant to get back together for a party later that evening), he got a call from home (LA) that his brother was in the hospital.  He left Vegas after trying to reach me, but I couldn't hear the phone in the hotel bar.  Long story short, he bailed, for good reason, but I was still stuck in Vegas, and all of the flights were booked back to LA until today, Monday.  I had to cancel my appointments for today, since I thought I would be driving back on Sunday.  Oh well, there are worse things than being stranded in Sin City for another day, but it still was not what I had planned on.

Life gets in the way of even the best of plans.  I am glad to hear you found someone else to spend your time with, and I do hope your trip went well.

Kim

No - she won't return calls or emails.  I have given up.  I do know that she has no children, but I didn't inqiure about SO.  I don't think she sees a lot of clients since she hasn't been reviewed for a couple of months.

Live and learn I guess!

If a provider stands you up, it's wrong, unprofessional, wasteful, and in your case costly.

If a special friend stands a provider up, it's wrong, inconsiderate, causes her loss of income, and sometimes costs her more money for childcare, etc. while awaiting a "no show".  

What is the recourse?  You are able to do reviews and post information on this lady which could ruin her reputation, and prevent others from going through what you have.  If I were in your shoes and she had at least called to apologize, I would keep quiet about what she did.  She has avoided you and there is no excuse for her behavior.  I would let other know if I were you.

A similar situation for me involved a man from the boards who set 2 separate appointments with me and stood me up on both.  I only do 1 appt a day so that cost me big time.  The first time he apologized and I gave him a second chance.  The second time he avoided me.  What was my recourse? I really had none other than to let it go and move on. I kept his personal information private, left him one message requesting payment, and sent one email.  He cost me over $1K and wasn't even man enough to call or say, "I'm sorry."  I think that bothered me as much as the money.

Fortunately people like that are the exception and not the rule.  We can't let them affect us anymore than they already have.  Put it in the back of your mind and move forward.  Don't let her actions affect you anymore than they already have.  Time is precious and you might as well spend it feeling good.

Best Wishes,
Kelly

It may not sound much different but did she get the money or was that money spent on hotel, airfare, entertainment, etc.

I does sound like some kind of sudden occurrence. Not much point in emailing you first day if she already had the money and was gling to scam you.  She may be embarrassed and needs some time to be able to visit with you.  sounds like even before communication was not great.  Some of our lady firends travel a lot more than we think and she simply may not be a position to respond.

Bottom line this lady is not capable of delivering the service you want and I would let her go.

Old Dude -The lesson to learn is never take someone you haven't seen before on a travel trip. Always spend a session getting to know someone BEFORE committing to a trip. It's short term dollars for long term benefits.
Rick2

i don't believe it was a last minute family/BF problem ... she flaked out on you period and didn't even have the decency to let you know or apologize after the fact

unless she was kidnapped by aliens i would write her off ... of course, you were entirely  right to hook up with another provider that weekend (surest cure for getting over a provider who pisses you off, as they invariably will afterwhich it's time to move on)

as someone else said in this thread NEVER take a provider on a trip (or any expensive adventure) until you've gotten to know her very well ... it's the very definition of disaster

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.  I had seen this lady before, but only once.  I had spoken to her on the phone several times.  Most of the money was spent on air fare to change reservations, extra hotel costs and out of pocket expenses.  

As to posting a very negative review, that's just not my style.

booked ME, this wouldn't have happened! LOL! (altho I don't care for Vegas, so I wouldn't have accepted)
So far, I have had one cancellation (found him a replacement), and one 30 minute late to my record! And that's the way I like it! But, easy for me to say..

I don't know. Any number of things could have happened. Sometimes people accept dates when it was too if-y to accept in the first place and she probably shouldn't have accepted.

I DO think it will be great once Staff gets a way to record 'no-shows' - think that will be very helpful for you, and hope she didn't get the fee ahead of time.

You did mention the comunication was rocky at best before the weekend. You should have taken that as a hint and canceled or had a back-up plan. I too just got back from LV and spent some time with a wonderful lady.
The important thing is COMMUNICATION and you should have felt 100% positive and assured with the lady that it would happen smoothly.
There are many responsible ladies out there that are wonderful to take on extended trips and I could recommend mant for you next time.
R

Posting a very negative review will accomplish very little. However, I think you should tell us her name.  One of the major purposes of this board is to give others (both 'Hobbyist' and 'Provider') a little 'heads up' based upon personal experience.  

Posting the Provider's name is in everyone's best interests.

...just by 2-cents

Hi, as a stranger here (from the UK), can someone tell me what is 'A Provider'? I can make assumptions, but I'd rather get it straight, formally educational like.

Rae (UK

Escort, Call Girl, Prostitute, Working Girl... Provider or ASP (Adult Service Provider)
Whatever you wish to call these lovely ladies (or in THIS case flaky broad) who provide this valuable service.
(nudge, nudge; wink, wink)