This morning I awoke feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, with a smile on my face. Wow, what a wonderful dream. In my dream I had met the man of my dreams. He was intelligent, charming and funny. Not to mention sexy as hell and a body to die for. We had talked and laughed and danced all night. We liked the same music, the same crazy sense of humor. He completely understood me and I him. We got caught in the rain, and soaked to the skin. We took our clothes off by the fire to let them dry. Then we had the best wild passionate sex, as we listened to the rain outside.
And as I lay in bed, remembering the dream It was then that I turned and realized where I was, and the night before. It hadn't been a dream at all, he was still there, sleeping, snuggled up next to me. Suddenly the alarm went off, shattering the moment like the sound of breaking glass. He had a plane to catch, He jumped out of bed, got dressed, kissed me good bye and then was gone.
Now he is all I can think about, how could this happen? I let my guard down, damn it! Will he call me again? Stop it, I can't think like that, this is silly. At best it was just Lust, nothing more. Just a job, this is what people pay me for. To create the fantasy and then walk away. Right? But then agian, if only for the moment, just for a second in time, I felt that familiar old feeling, like hearing from a long lost friend. That warm intoxicating feeling that I haven't let myself feel for soooo long.........and then good bye
I refuse to believe that it's all just a show....not every time anyway. We're dealing with intimate human feelings and emotions at the highest level, and I feel for you.
There is a woman that, were circumstances in my personal life different, I'd have absolutley come clean with my feelings for her and dated her apart from business.
Sometimes...sometimes...that connection happens and it changes your life. It's scary: Will he understand that with him it's not work for you? Will he be okay with what you do to earn a living if you begin to see each other non-professionally? How will he react to your "stories of the road?" What will he tell his friends about you? His family? His children? Do you even deserve this?
I hope, for you, that he does call. You do deserve this. He'll tell the people in his life that you are delightful and remarkable. He'll listen to your stories with amazement, and feel blessed that you're there with him, and he'll appreciate that those things are part of what's made you the woman you are right now. He'll want to know everything. He'll understand that what you do with others in no way diminishes what you have with him or how you feel about him. And...he already knows that it is not work for you to be with him.
I hope he does call.
Sometimes, that connection does happen and it changes your life.
Yes, this is trully an underestimated and unappreciated profession. Too many people are made happy than are ever admitted by the social stereotype. And I always get happy when I know you are happy, blue dress girl, because you are so fun to watch when you get happy.
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