although its rare i review (unless i find it absolutely urgent), alot of the providers i have seen have asked me the same two questions:  why do alot of us men call to set an appointment only to flake?  i was then asked if those who do this call because they have a grudge against providers?
secondly, when on is feasting on pie and is unknowingly being too rough to where the provider is finding it unbearable and painful, how should she go about asking for him to be more gentle without him feeling like there are "too many rules" or getting upset?
being the nice guy that i am, i thought i would post for those who may be able to help these little ladies out. thanks!

I love DATY, but the last thing I want to do is cause pain to the lady - I want her to ENJOY it, not resent or regret it!  And I can sometimes get too physical - my SO is one of those lucky ladies that is extremely sensitive yet doesn't feel pain until you hit her with a hammer, and she likes it rather physical, so that's what I'm used to doing.  I try to take that into account when I'm with a provider, but I'm sure I get too physical occasionally.

Honesty is the best policy; just tell me if I'm being too rough.

I wouldn't hesitate to tell a man if he was doing something which was causing me pain. Likewise, if I'm doing something he finds painful or doesn't like I would hope he feels relaxed enough with me to tell me.  It can be said in a polite or light-hearted way and there is no reason for anybody to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about it

...and anytime you're in the States and want to test your tolerance, I'd be happy to help you! *wink*

"why do alot of us men call to set an appointment only to flake?"

Why do alot of girls say they will show when they know fully well they are going to flake?

Why does a girl give her phone number to a guy when she doesn't want him to call?

Why do girls always say "lets still be friends!" when both of you know full well you'll never speak to eachother again?

These are life's great mysteries, and they're best not being pondered too deeply.

I begin every session with the question, "What are your rules?"  After I listen carefully, I explain to the lady that I enjoy DATY quite a bit, but that I understand all ladies are different.  I go on to say that since we haven't had time for me to learn her subtle, little cues, when she wants me to stop, she actually needs to say the word, "Stop."  I explain that any other sound, gesture, or touch might be interpreted as enjoyment, but if I hear, "stop," I'll back off instantly.