Hi All!
I know that I don't come over here very much anymore but, I think since noone else is gonna say something about it, I will. Those of you who know me, know you can always count on me to go out on a suicidal career limb! *sigh*

If I meet with you or you schedule a meeting with me,I always ask if the client intends to post a review on TER. I always get the same answer..."no"...or..."well, does it matter". To clarify I try to be consistent with my service across the board. However, don't state that you are NOT going to write a review and then when you need your "free membership" updated, pull our meeting out of the hat and post a review. Thats just simply lying to me and using our meeting as a tool to get something for nothing.
By all means, post a review until your lil heart is content. Be honest and fair. I encourage it. But, lying about your intent is a bad reflection on you and its not what your momma tought you!

I very much enjoy 98% of the gentlemen I meet and would enjoy this profession into old age (if only gravity allowed it). Sometimes, I think there may be gents out there that forget us ladies don't have a 401k plan, employer profit sharing, company health insurance or bonuses. This is our livlihood and (for some) kids college money. So, please be fair and open minded when submitting your reviews. Its my opinion that a true "professional" in this biz is going to try her best to make your meeting a successful one because, we all have reputations and credibility to build and protect.

As always, I hope everyone is well and prosperous....Lets make it a GREAT day!

warmest regards,
Carol

Hey sweet lady - you are 100% right. If you are honest and up front with the hobbists, the least they can do is be the same with you. I would only post a review if it was a good experience or if it was totally bad (rob) and I wanted to warn others off.
Good luck to you.

Why do you ask if you don't care one way or the other? Us guys are nervous enough as it is without having to worry what the "right" answer is to a question like that. If you don't want reviews say so. Anyone who spends $$$ to save [damn there's no cents key on keyboards anymore] on TER membership is a looney.

I believe everyone should be honest and fair in their reviews. But I agree with VaGentleman... If you don't care whether or not a client posts a review, why ask? If you get a "yes" answer does that mean the client gets some sort of bonus? When a client replies, "Does it matter?" to your query about his review intentions, what's your answer?

Also, please don't whine about 401ks, profit sharing, health insurance and bonuses. I know plenty of people who don't have those perks either -- and they're not making $300-plus per hour (potentially tax-free).

Oh, and when it comes to what lessons my momma taught me: I think mom would be more upset by my marital infidelity than whether or not I was truthful about my review intentions.

Hope your autumn is full of peace and prosperity.

I like you Carol (at least from your posts) but I agree with VA....the fact that you want to know if a review will be done in advance suggests that their are two levels of service...one for TER memebers who post, and one for those gents who do not.

There is a reason why resturant critics dine anonomously...

I've never understood (or endorsed, but I think everyone here knows that about me by now) the notion that a lady has a right to expect her wishes to be honored re: no review done. To me, I paid my money, I was there as well as she, and if I want to provide the details of the experience (tastefully, which I have said I am willing to be consoled on) to other hobbyist, so be it.

But, this isn't even your point here....you say that you are ok with reviews...you just want to know in advance.

Now sweetie, please don't take this as flames, because I *DO* like you...you are pretty, you are sexy, you have been open and honest in the past, and you don't discriminate against Black men. But if you'd like me to honor and respect your wishes (and i WANT to, becaue I like you), then can you please explain a bit why you feel this way, and the logic you are using?

I have been guilty as charged on occasion. I tell the ladies I don't post because I don't know if they are against it. I get the impression that most ladies have mixed feelings about TER and I understand that. However, if the lady tells me she is against it, then I won't post.

Yes, I have held off on writing a review for a month until I needed to update my "free membership" once. After doing that I realized how screwed up the system is and how easy it is to make up reviews (I NEVER would do that!). I paid for TER for a few months but gave it up because I didn't like the strange recurring credit card billing on my records.

I just pay the membership fee.  Frankly, I want TER to be profitable and reinvest back in the site.  So I'm not pressured to write reviews.

I don't bring up the subject on my dates.  They know I found them via TER (I don't date anyone I can't research first - I gave up my seat as a test pilot!).  

I don't think it should matter, I don't think the provider should ask.  At $300/hour average - don't think for a minute I'm not going to use this tool to see if you sound like my kind of date!  I owe it my fellow members to write about my experiences as well.

I write reviews some of the times. But if a girl does not want it, she may just want editorial license. I suggest those who might not be totally honest consult the provider.

by the way Carol, I was i the springs a few weeks ago, I wish I knew you were there!

very sexy look

no.
Look, you can please most of the people some of the time. But, its impossible to pleasse all of the people all the time. My service is consistent and I take it personal if my client is disappointed with any part of our meeting. A review is a good tool for us ladies and I don't have any protests whatsoever. I want to know so that we are on the same plane as far as logistical issues...i.e., incall/outcall, availability, phone numbers (published and non-published), etc. I also want to make sure that nothing is mentioned that will compromise my personal info and/or privacy. Yes, it has happened before....a couple of times.

Whats the big deal about being truthful and having the common coutesy and mutual consideration to be honest about reviews?

xoxoxo
Carol
ps...I may moan, scream, pant or sing...but, I never whine, sweetie...*wink*

Sometimes I get the feeling a couple of you may be somewhat bitter about the issue of paying a provider. Maybe this empowers you with the feeling of being able to say or do whatever you want as a way of getting even. I regret that you may feel that way. Its supposed to be a positive thing and maybe I'm wrong...but, I treat people the way I want to be treated...with mutual respect. Yes, there are a few "shwoosies" out there that ruin it for us honest girls. But, I'm going to keep trying and still love what I do!

have a great week-end!
Carol

I post a review if I feel it's in MY interests to post a review. I tell the provider I'm going to do so if I feel it's in MY interests to tell her so. There's nothing in your post that suggests in any way, that self-interest or enlightened self-interest would in any way point to your conclusion rather than mine. Effectively, what you're saying is, that males should do what females want simply because females want it.

If I wanted that type of princess-act, I wouldn't be hiring a provider, I'd be going out with a girlfriend and trying to make her a wife. Get over yourself.

Now, this doesn't mean I'll be deliberately malicious or indiscreet. I think the accuracy of the reviewer community, and consequently of my (and my community's) realized benefits from the reviews, depends on each and every one of the reviews being as accurate and discreet a depiction as possible. So, I stick to accuracy and discretion. It also doesn't mean I condone lying for lying's sake -- dishonesty in one sphere of life indicates, quite often, corruption in other spheres. There are, of course, many good REASONS, as enumerated, for lying -- in particular, the metaphor of the restaurant reviewer comes to mind. No service industry is 100% objective; consequently, no reviewer can be 100% sure of his experience unless he's anonymous. Heck, this is the internet -- we're here because we WANT to be anonymous.

Furthermore, this attitude of mine doesn't mean I dislike women, or think of providers as somehow on a different tier from my "civilian" dates. In fact, I might review my girlfriend if there were websites that made that possible. If you don't like it, don't be a provider, don't advertise yourself on the internet, and don't try to make the internet community your clientele -- there ARE women who make quite a bundle doing just that. But it's a different business from the one you're in involved in, young lady. You chose to swim with the sharks.

Cut-throat? Yes, but that's the attitude that has made it possible for me to afford providers, over a lifetime. I consider myself capable of finding, and getting, what I want, and not succumbing to emotionally manipulative ploys like the "be nice to princessy meeeee" one that you've just posted; and most women appreciate that about me, because it cuts through their crap and solves more problems than it creates. As one has recently said, I'm a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it, and that's why she enjoys being my provider.

You'll never have the chance to meet me, with an attitude like that. We pay our money and we stay within the bounds of a fairly clear code of ethics -- that we pay you to GO AWAY after the encounter. That means you don't get to look over my shoulder six hours later when I decide to log on.


-- Modified on 9/20/2002 12:56:41 PM

That is my opinion of it.  I believe it threatens the integrity of the review process myself.  I believe reviews are essential to the biz and therefore should be handled with the utmost integrity.  Therefore, I have it posted on my site that reviews will not be discussed.  If you wish to...great...if not...great too and say as much if someone asks me if they can post a review.  

I do not pay attention to the reviews and just go about my business.  From time to time I have gents tell me what is there.  I have only had one incident in which the review was erroneous (claimed I was suicidal and performed everything uncovered) and it was straightened out once it was bought to the attention of all parties involved.  There are also those that have been painfully truthful.  No one wants their worst attributes bought to anyones attention, but one must grin and bare it for it is just that....the truth.  Over all that has helped more than anything else for there isn't a false sense of what I am really like.

I admit when I first started, I was anxious for them in order to establish myself, but a hobbiest told me that patience was a virtue and that if your services are good and consistent the rest would follow and if I concerned myself too much with them, it would reflect in my services themselves.  Truer words were never spoken and believe wholeheartedly that in following that advice I am more relaxed and just let things flow.  The proof is in the pudding so to speak.

It may be advice that you may want to follow too!  It will only bring heartache as your following threads have proven.

Lauren

We Cheat too.  And as it turns out we really are only interested in one thing.

Wow, I guess this turned out to be a lil more controversial than I thought. Whats all this talk about "getting over MYself" "princesses" and "heat ache"? I think we are getting a lil off the original point of my post kids. Its about doing what you say and saying what you do...its about protecting my privacy (which has been violated in the past) and its about an equitable arrangement by two consenting adults. I hope this hostility I'm seeing isn't indicative of what we're all really thinking about each other. Anyway, I appreciate the input and am always stimulated by the message boards on TER. My point has been driven home.
Have a great week-end!

xoxoxo
Carol
ps...and, "someone else"...I AM a naughty lil Princess that needs a spanking!

Maybe I missed something here and have never met Carol but she sounds like my type of woman--one that isn't afraid to speak up. She said she ask but I didn't see in the original post of hers when she ask.  It appears everyone assumes she knocks a new client over with the question the minute he arrives--which seems rather unlikely for all the reasons you gents stated it would be mis-placed.  I ask sometimes if clients normally like to post reviews (not when they arrive) ---during a session within the context of  conversation it can become apparent they are not review writers.  But AT THE END of the session I ask--with a quick put in, my druthers would not to have a review written--but not wanting to spoil anyones opportunity at creative writing I have a DO's and DON'ts List ready if it appears they might.  The Do's and DON'TS is as follows:

Do's & Don'ts


I have not asked anyone to "review me" before, however, if you desire to do so, please do follow the guidelines presented next, in order to maintain my level of security and peace of mind:

Please, do not include any donation topics in your review.
Please, do not include any specifics as to address or location.
Please, do say if you had a good time.
Remember that I am a Lady and I'd appreciate it if your comments would reflect that reality and emphasize the elegance of my persona.
Please, remember not to give out my phone number, and do keep in mind not to disclose any security issues (i.e. adjacent streets, calls, etc.) for, I would like to maintain my address and its surroundings as anonymous as possible.
Too much information about particulars may endanger my safety, and my safety is counted upon by my loved ones… and I want to be here for you, if you desire to come another day.


Hugs,

My real name

Some may take issue with this list--but foremost is maintaining my location and not putting me at risk.  I have seen reviews come up that state the name of the hotel, street located close to this corner--what pay phone they were ask to call from and on what corner.  To many specifics about the interior of a persons home that could become veriable if someone wanted to take it to a certain level within LE.  Indications of pet ownership.  All of these can become a security breach and indicative the reviews are not as fictional as this site is boasting.  Also providers when someone calls a request the outfit you had on in your pictures decline politely it was ruined by the dry cleaners.  Pretty darn incriminating for LE to have the outfit, as evidence, that all so was used in your pics.  I like Carol am not asking because it will somehow alter the level of service.  When I ask the client is dressed and starting to head out the door.  Enough said! Just other view from outside the box.

I'm not at all bitter about paying a provider. I'm grateful that a beautiful lady with brains, grace, and physical talent is available to provide a much needed service. I always let the lady know how much I sincerely admire their bravery and hard work. As a result, I am always treated with kindness beyond my expectations.

Carol,

IMHO, i believe you just want to vent about someone lying to you that they wouldn't post a review.  You say it shouldn't matter, well then it shouldn't.  Don't ask.   When you say
"Thats just simply lying to me and using our meeting as a tool to get something for nothing." it sounds very very bitter.  Something for nothing?  You were paid.  Hopefully you were treated respectfully during YOUR time which HE paid for. If you don't acknowledge a preference either way, then he should be left to his own devices to post.  

and your last paragraph about guys forgetting the ladies don't have 401k plans and bonuses etc, implies somebody not only lied about saying they were going to review you, but also gave a bad review. Thus the "This is our livlihood and (for some) kids college money" part.

keep well,

luckyduck

not being 100% and says she will agree to meeting with a discount if you do not review her due to aformentioned circumstances.  You agree do you think it is still ethical to write review under these circumstances?

And his comment "At $300/hour average - don't think for a minute I'm not going to use this tool to see if you sound like my kind of date!  I owe it my fellow members to write about my experiences as well. "

To some of the ladies, it may turn us off because his writing tone sounds a little cold and matter-of-fact.   Like he's 'getting even for his $330.. OOOPs, I mean actually $300....

LOL> but seriously, I agree that the girl shouldn't ask if he is going to write a review in a way that there is a 'right' or 'wrong' answer, but only for the fact that she may want to remind him not to write anything that may out her or put her identity or location in jeopardy.  I know I've had a number of indiscreet reviews when I used to do incall that posted the name of my street, or how to get into where I live through a back way.. I mean come on, common sense here!  Sometimes guys don't think.  THis is one of the reasons now I do outcall only.  

I think this was Carol's point.  It is tacky and rude to lie because you think it's the answer we want to hear.  We will remember you, even if you wait months to write the review, we were there, remember?  LOL.  We just want to know so we can remind you the etiquette so you don't put our personal lives in danger.  Afterall, thousands of people read this board everyday and we need to stay safe.



-- Modified on 9/21/2002 1:10:10 PM

"Effectively, what you're saying is, that males should do what females want simply because females want it."

Please go back and read her original post.  She did not say she has control whether you post a review or not, or even that she wants a say in it.  She merely says, if she asks if you are going to write one, don't lie about it!  It's both silly and rude to lie.

ps. If you believe so strongly about your view, why did you use an alias???


-- Modified on 9/21/2002 1:03:14 PM

This post makes me wonder if the originator of this thread knows the true definition of lying, most likely not. I rest my case.

...and maybe I'm stupid, or just don't understand.  It is my preogative to post any review I decide I want to post.  In the past I can think of 4 providers who asked me not to post reviews, and in 3 of those cases I respected their wishes.  I respected their wishes because they provided the services they advertised they would provide with varying degrees of competence (one would have rated a 9, another a 7-8 and the third a 6, not good, but not altogether bad, but she did what she said she would).  The provider I ignored was not a good provider, she did not provide services as advertised, and was probably getting by just fine because there were NO reviews of her.  I almost felt duty bound to report her, hence the review.  BTW, I did not promise that I would not write a review, and this upset her.

I agree that for certain security reasons, there are details that shouldn't be included, and I have tried not to breech security in my posts,  That said, you are absolutely within your rights to remind us about security and ask us to be careful about certain details.

Your reference to health plans, 401K's, etc. are irrelevant.  For years I worked without such benefits, and provided for my sons and myself as best I could, for much less than the average hourly rates we pay providers.  To ask a client to refrain from posting a review on these grounds is as much a lie as well, IMHO.

What you should be doing is making sure, that as a cost of doing business, you maintain membership here, and other relevant boards, and as a member excercise your right to challenge a review with management, if you believe the review is unfair, or contains detail that for security purposes should not be there.  Since in most cases these security items are mutually exclusive of the session details, I see no reason why TER wouldn't edit them from the review, for everybody's benefit.

He seems to have caught the gist of the original post.  Other providers have raised legitimate security questions about reviews but none of that was evident in Carol's original post.

It seems my "original post" has been misunderstood by some hasty readers. Let me clarify that I am certainly referring to my personal security and safety when I say that I want to know if someone intends to write a review. I NEVER said HOW to write the review, DON'T write the review, or I'll TELL you what to say in the review. Are we clear on this? Secondly, I don't consider myself to have any "bad" reviews. So, the here and there comments about my "bad reviews" are again hasty. My comments about "employee benefits" were maybe a little off color and I apologize for offending anyone who may feel like I was whining, trying to make them feel guilty, or re-evaluating their own employers/employee benefit package.
If someone posts a review that contains my personal logistic information without my consent, thats a problem for me. In the past I have requested that the TER staff edit info. After they have had time to investigate my objections they are reasonably fair and I have no complaints. I NEVER asked anyone to lie, embellish, or make-up anything in a review. Insinuations from one poster that I am a "liar" was a retalitory cheap shot and completely uncalled for. This isn't the first time this person and I have had our interpretations at odds. There are 2 sides to every story. Lets move on...
I praise TER and various other websites for having  been instrumental and extremely beneficial in bringing me biz/traffic. And, I am grateful for this. I have had an overall great experience with the majority of people I have encountered. Unfortunately it seems that this gratitude seems to be a green light for some TER members to push me around, degrade, insult or be rude for no apparent reason. I will not sit passively and worry about being black-listed in the community for standing up for myself and voicing my opinion. Those of you who know me, know that I am friendly, down-to-earth and easy going. I don't instigate hostility or encourage disagreements. But, I don't kiss anyones ass either. (unless its warranted) I am as humble as the next person. Those of you who think I am being fragile and have a "princess" mentality are humorous to me. I guess its trendy to have such an arrogant personality. I'll take a friendly and positive disposition any day thank you very much.

Thank you to PlaymateAshley who seems to have hit the nail on the head as far as the meaning of my original post. Thats exactly what I was trying to say. Maybe you can edit my future posts? You're communication skils are much better.

Glad I had the opportunity to participate in another lively debate!

Lets make it a GREAT day!

xoxoxo
Carol of Palm Springs, California

Re:Fergit It . . .

thanks for your honesty.  frankly, i am amazed by the brown-nosing that takes place here towards the "providers"  your response is a breath of fresh air.

kind regards.

Getting even - please!  You got me all wrong.  At the end of the night, if we BOTH had a great time, I don't care about the money.

The money thing only bothers me when a provider doesn't stay the whole time or we simply don't connect and whatever I thought was on the menu - isn't - because she has the money, now the focus is on ending the evening.

Here is what I was trying to say, but didn't very well I guess.  When you graduate from FSBM $100 - $150 range to $500 to $1000 for each date, I want to make sure there is a good chance I'm going to connect with the provider.  I like to date each week if possible, so I consider this more expensive then my golf habit.  I just want to make sure I'm going to enjoy the course!

At the same time, if no one wrote about their dates (good or bad) - TER wouldn't work.  So, as a member of this community I will write about our dates.  I will look for the good in all dates. I think the subject of if I'm going to write a review should not come up and providers who hate to have stuff written about them should not take appointments from TER members.

So no problem paying on my end, money is something I have no problem parting with - spending time with a beautiful women is a gift and a privledge I look forward to.

Sasha,

I have no problem with that because that is an extenuating (spelling?) circumstance and some give and take is happening there.  The lady is making it known up front that she might be sacrificing her "normal" good service due to time of night etc.  I got none of that type of situation in Carol's original post, though it may be something that could have happened in her case.  

luckyduck

I DO ask that question to 98% of the gentleman AFTER our encounter....and, although I may be too passive to cover a list of do's & don'ts, you have covered exactly what I would LIKE to say...Thanks!

xoxo
Carol

Sorry about the blank pages.  I hit reset instead of enter.  I agree with you 100% on your comments.  I also hope that I can prove that statement to you sometime in person.  Your honest and candid comments are right on target.

Thank you for suggesting I re-read her original post. I have done so, and my opinion of her thought processes has not changed. She has offered LITERALLY NO evidence to suggest her opinion is right. Here is her reasoning (I quote):

"However, don't state that you are NOT going to write a review and then when you need your "free membership" updated, pull our meeting out of the hat and post a review. Thats just simply lying to me and using our meeting as a tool to get something for nothing."

Within these statements, are things she wants us to do, and NO GOOD REASON for us to do those things, neither self-interested NOR moral reasons. There is no procedure from evidence to conclusion; merely, a demand. In other words, as I originally said, she wants "that males should do what females want simply because females want it."

Examples of what's missing: She could have suggested that it creeps her out to be a provider for scathingly dishonest men (in which case, I would have told her she doesn't get to take money and then make demands on the men; if she disapproves of a given male's behavior, she shouldn't make him her client). Or she could have suggested that she felt such dishonesty would threaten to color the review unfairly (in which case, I'd have to agree with her). Or she could have suggested that someone who lies about whether or not he's going to review, is also someone who lies about STD's, for example (in which case, I'd point out that her reasoning is again _ad_ _hominem_ but probably more accurate, and would marginally agree with her). Or she could have pointed out (as she tried to) that the idea of reviewing merely to boost total website participation was rather misleading to the whole hobbyist community (in which case, I'd point out that his USE of the review as a membership gain, in no way implies the CONTENTS of the review are inaccurate). Or she could have pointed out -- well, almost anything that a princess would never have thought of. Instead, she pointed out that she felt gross around certain men, and yet she also implied that she still wanted their money. Princess go home.

I do agree with your related point, that I confused somewhat her gripe. This in no way discredits my argument, that she has not supported her desires with evidence. But I did rearrange her post unfairly, changing it to (A - inaccurate) her wanting to control in some unspecified manner my review, from (B - more accurate) her wanting me not to lie about whether or not I'll review her. Nevertheless, the fact remains that she WANTS something, but can't tell me why I should PROVIDE it.

So far, nor can you, except to say I'm "silly and rude" -- which is character assassination, not idea assassination. You're making the _ad_ _hominem_ fallacy in your logic, presuming that a bad PERSON must be a bad THINKER. If you dislike me, you disagree with me. Do you see the weakness in that thinking?

(By the way, you extend that mistake, by questioning my choice of alias, a choice entirely unrelated to the debate regarding truthfulness when asked whether I'm going to review. In fact, YOU'RE using an alias, dearie. We all are. You didn't mean that the only way you'd respect my opinion, was if it came accompanied by a true real-life identity and signature, did you? The fervency of an opinion bears no relation to the desire of the holder to remain anonymous. I remain anonymous BECAUSE idiots like the princess who started this thread might give me bad service simply on the basis of her belief that she should get everything she wants merely because she asks for it, which consequently leads to her belief that I should always tell her the truth merely because she wants me to. I don't want idiots like that to know who I am; I might hire them some day for a blowjob or something.)

Performing an act that is in my self-interest -- for example, lying about whether or not I'm going to review a lady (something I've never done) -- is well within the bounds of ethical provider-and-client behavior. I pay you to disappear after our hour is up. Therefore, you don't get to tell me to be honest about my behavior after that hour.

"Do you have a wife?" and "Will you write a review?" and "Tell me your social security number and Visa card number and home address." and "Do I look fat in this dress?" are questions that clients are allowed to answer misleadingly. You have no claim on our honesty.

Which doesn't mean I haven't been honest with all my providers in the past. I might or might not have been.

My objection wasn't with the concept of honesty or the suggestion the original gal posted. I don't dislike that. What I dislike, is the PRESUMPTION that merely because she asks for it, we should give it to her. Merely because she whines, we comply? Never.

I know I am new to TER, but yes it has gotten out of hand with the reviews.  I specifically state to all my clients, I do not do the review thing for "Security" reasons because I feel when LE gets into these forums, it will be much easier for them to profile us Ladies with all the personal info given in the reviews.  I have always stressed that to my clients "No Reviews" please!  What happend to me was reviews, reviews, reviews and most of them highly exagerated on another well traffic Board.  I even stated to them, I did not want reviews done on me, they allowed it anyway.  I am an honest, upscale provider that strongly believes in Privacy & Discreetness on both parts by two "Grown Up Consenting Adults".  It sure makes it hard for new clients when they want to use our service.  Our long time regulars are trusted more.  "LiL" Darlyn

and hence no reviews will be listed.  However, some of the ladies regreted to have that done and begged Staff to restate their profiles.  (Check TER Mail Bag for more info)

You can contact Staff about the details by email [email protected]