English

"Women's English"

Yes = No.

No = Yes.

Maybe = No.

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry...

We need = I want.

It's your decision = The correct
decision should be obvious by now.

Do what ever you want = You'll pay for
this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset,
you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave,
and you sweat a lot.

Be romantic, turn out the lights =
I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I
want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting,
and furniture, and wallpaper.

I heard a noise = I noticed you were
almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask
for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did
something today you're going to hate.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your
shoes and find a good game on TV.

You have to learn to communicate
= Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late,
you're dead,]


"Men's English"

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

I'm tired = I'm tired.

Do you want to go to a movie? =
I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd
eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd
eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd
eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a
massage = I want to fondle you.

What's wrong? = What stupid self
inflicted psychological trauma is it now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight
is out of the question?

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now!

I love you, too = Okay, I said it. Now
can we have sex?

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair
= I liked it better before.

Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing
you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?

Will you marry me? = I want to make it
illegal for you to have sex with others.

I don't think that blouse and that skirt
go well together = I'm gay.