Is there a full proof way to tell whether a lady is really having the big O or just faking it?  For reasons I can't explain even to myself, I've become obsessed with this issue. As a relative newcomer to the lifestyle (3 months - 4 providers), I know my skills haven't changed all that much, yet my partners' success rates are hovering at about 300 percent.  I'm sure faking is not uncommon (and frankly, even that is appreciated as it adds to the fantasy/mystery) but I hate thinking it's ALL faked. I know the whole issue of Orgasms has a big psychological element and I presume providers have fewer hangups and wouldn't be doing this if they didn't like sex...but still, it can't happen every time.

I admit to being relatively inexperienced (10 or so partners before taking up the hobby) and I used to think that if a lady got wet, I was at least on the right track. But now I doubt even that because some providers (hate that word) are wet from the get go. Is it common to use a lubricant of some sort before a date to help a poor guy's ego?

Any wisdom on this would be most appreciated, and let me take a moment to thank all of you. I never could have gotten into this without the help of the discussion boards and I can't imagine finding a kinder, more caring community anywhere. I feel like I already know many of you regulars just from your comments. (And I've got to find my way out to San Diego to meet Sedona -- not only to visit in person but also to ask how she manages to see anybody when she always seems to be online.)

Reid she or didn't she?

Ok, this is not universal, but it is very common. When a woman has an orgasm, her upper chest (the area between her collar bones and neck) will flush. This was documented in Human Sexual Response by William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson in, I think, 1958.

Also, if you make her pass out, chances are pretty good she did. B^D

you will feel my vagina walls tighten around your penis. Other than that, hearing me moan louder, arms and legs tightening around you, and me hollaring your name, generally does the trick in letting you know, that I am heading for that great one lol

Mel

Reid she or didn't she?

In many cases the girls do fake it, but definitely not all and not always.
The most important thing is to find a girl that you will " click" with. If you have that connection, chances are, she'll truly enjoy everything you do together.
Being farely new to this, I suggest you read the reviews thoroughly TER is the best, and go for the girl that have the qualitys you are looking for. I don't think there is any certain way to tell if the girl had an O, but you can pretty much feel how it's going.

Also, no matter what kind of lubricant one might use, they all have a certain mild odor, that one can recognize. And yes, it is very common to use them.

You should find your way to San Diego and see Sedona asap. She is a wonderful person and also, you can find out how she'll see you while being loged on.

Reid she or didn't she?

The flush is also something I have heard and seen ... But my best indicator is ... the quviering of her inner thigh muscles when I'm muff diving.  It is not possible (so I have been told) for a woman to control these muscles, sure they can make their legs shake ... but to quiver an inner muscle can't be done.

Reid she or didn't she?

A steady loud breathing pattern commonly known as "SNORING" is a good indication that your lady has not had the "big one".

If she is making changes to her day planner while doing it doggie style, then she is unlikely to experience the "big one".  Little signs I have noted as I got more experienced which I thought I would pass on to you.

Reid she or didn't she?

I don't know about "fool proof", but I've noticed that when a ladies pussy lips swell during DATY, she's having a Big O.

...just a personal observation, with no 'scientific' proof to back it up.

Humboldt

I would consider anything which would count as a loss of control or inhibition as probably a real orgasm.  I know with my S/O she will shudder and then get hypersensitive for a moment.  She only has orgasms through manual stimulation or orally so I don't even think about her having one with intercourse.

My ATF is much less predictable.  We are comfortable enough with each other that she doesn't fake it.  If I catch her when she is just starting to work (she may only work two weeks out of six) then if it is a lot easier but otherwise she will see a fair volume.  She will shudder as well if I am doing oral or manual stimulation.  If we are having intercourse and she is on top, she will change pace when she gets close so asto catch the wave and ride it in.
Part of the fun with our familiarity is are ok with toys, ice, food, or whatever else it takes at the moment to get the job done.  Makes for variety with the same person and we have done on every standard piece of furniture you can find in a hotel room plus the shower.  Still on the list is car, train, airplane, beach, outdoor hot tub.
One thing for me though is if I get really hung up on making sure my partner comes first, sometimes I miss my wave so we will take turns as to who comes first.

The simultaneous orgasm is the holy grail of all mankind and while it might be worth pursuing, may have tries and I fear, few succeeded.

Reid she or didn't she? If no it is her loss.

I know that if a woman "faked" it, then it would be her loss. I am so willing to try to accomidate. I will try something else or keep trying. I want it to be mutual!

Reid she or didn't she?

In my opinion, the best way to tell is her hyper-sensativity right after (or lack thereof). Typically after an orgasm, she will want you to stop (whatever you're doing) for a minute because her clit will be hyper hyper sensative.

Also, look at her face and into her eyes. If she just came, that sweet smile and "distant stare" will verify for you. On the other hand, if she looks bored (like she's just waiting for you to cum), and then right when you do she starts moaning too... then you know she's faking.

Everything you need to know is in her eyes...

is if she has to pull the sheets out from the crack of her butt!  Seriously, I'd say that several here have hit the nail on the head.  But mostly, I'd agree with spaceghost -- the eyes never lie.

I don't have an orgasm 100% of the time when with a client or in my personal life.

It has changed DRAMATICALLY since being a Provider, however. How quickly, how long, how many, how intensely. Thank you, thank you, thank you all my fine gentlemen to whom I accredit that to!

Wet is no indicator. I hope you can pardon me (all) by saying this as this is meant as an example. But, I can get drenched just thinking about things, reading or writing about things. Maybe that's why I'm on TER so much, Jzyman! LOL! I, like many ladies, get wet easily and often, or stay so all day. So, no, wet is not an indicator.

The swollen labia is the equivalent to a man's 'hard-on'. The blood rushes to the area the same way it does to a man's penis. It is not an indicator of an orgasm, but certainly an indicator of extreme arousal.

The quivering inner thighs would be a good ruler of an orgasm, but the absence thereof would not be a rule that she didn't have an orgasm. Sometimes they quiver uncontrollably and other times not. I've noticed the differences in just changes such as a pillow beneath my bottom, or my legs on his shoulders, over my head, or balancing your body any way, such as on the counter, or the desk.

Now, the curling of the toes...

(thank you Jzyman and A Girl - so sweet)

Reid she or didn't she?

In my limited experience there is a lot of variation.  My SO really squeals, as does my current ATF.  One girl had this violent involuntary contraction of her thigh muscles that put me in quite a headlock; usually she has a milder reaction and just pulls away due to hypersensitivity.  But she never vocalizes. MMV I guess.

Reid she or didn't she?

"Or Was it just another trick of the light-"

apologies to the WHO!

Well, when I orgasm it is definitely apparent. Why? well because I squirt and there is no mistaking that LOL. I so however have orgasms where I do not squirt in between the one's where I do. When those occur, all the men I have been with say that the walls of my vagina convulse (sp) and if it's a really big one the walls clamp down really hard.
As far as having an O at the same time as the guy? I do about 98% of the time. I think the reason for this in me is because I can feel the energy and and that is what is most important of course. I know it sounds strange but, when a guy is having his it will usually make me have a big one. Yes, even through the condomn LOL.
I believe Char can probably relate to some of this

Kisses,

Tiffany

red rock (sedona) your def on target!!!!!

The quivering can be faked.
Kegels can cause a vaginal tightening sensation done in pulsing rythms mimic orgasm. For all of us that have had lovers (boyfriends) there is a fine art to faking it.

Its so sexy you seek to know and recognize your partners sexual satisfaction. Then in itself even though it involves your provider is a super turn on. Some women orgasm easier than others. Most women need clit stimulation. I take the bullet with me everywhere. If I am really liking it .. you sure as H* bet I am gonna whip that sucker out and orgasm with you. Nothing feels better.

And I bet you are one of those guys who also complains when a Lady doesn’t do anything extra for you, or treats you differently from some of her other clients.

What does it cost you to try and ensure the Lady enjoys herself as well (knowing it doesn’t always happen)?  NOTHING

What does it gain you?  Why don’t you give it a try and find out.

By all means do try to get to San Diego, and be sure to set up a session with Sedona.  You will NOT regret it.

just reading the header on Sedona's post!  Whoa!

Sedona, I love that you say that sometimes you don't go all the way.  I would rather be with a woman who doesn't come but is affectionate than one who is faking any day!  It is a rare woman that almost always comes, and, while I have been lucky enough to know a couple of them, I never go into meeting a provider assuming it is going to happen, especially as I am a stranger.  I do my best, am patient and giving, and sometimes it works.  However, I would like to think that I make the time good for the lady regardless.

The more comfortable I feel with someone and the better they treat me, the better the session is... That's just the way it goes.  It's not like I sit back and think to myself what they didn't do and how their five o' clock shadow felt like sand paper and they can't kiss to save their life and etc and deduct that from their service, but when I'm into it... I'm really into it.  When someone turns me on and pushes the right buttons, my body takes over... Otherwise, it's just mechanics with some acting.. but you'd never know, of course!!!  LOL!

Columnist

-- Modified on 11/8/2003 5:17:17 AM

Actually it's how she lays on your shoulder, fondles your bicep after... If she gets up immediately... you missed