Okay, I'm not sure how the general population will take to this post, but it's been on my mind since yesterday morning; when I saw Mandy.  I really appreciated her personality both in having sex and in conversation.  I think that I am beginning to appreciate women more now that I've started this hobby (roughly 2 months ago) than I have since I got married (roughly 7 years ago).  More than just the sex, I've found myself noticing their little idiosyncracies and trying to put togther an image of their life through the little I learn from them in our conversations.  I began to think of each of the women that I've seen over the past couple of months, and I find that my fascination with women, as whole people, not just as sexual beings, has grown immensely.  I've even begun to try harder to understand my wife more, and have begun to appreciate some of the things about her that used to drive me nuts.  I never expected to begin thinking this way having jumped into the hobby, so I'm a bit surprised by myself. I am wondering if others have had similar 'awakenings' and to hear others' thoughts on this.

I too, have thoughts such as these.  In fact, those who know me know that I do like to frequent strip clubs.  Recently, I frequent one club where I have become friends with more than a couple of the strippers - and find that I like them as friends - and as they are all students at one of the local universities - find myself slipping more into the mentor role... but in that role - I find that I am learning about these really wonderful creatures....  

In the hobby, I find that I do like the women who are more complex and more that one-dimension.   Those who let me peek at their "private side" do warm my heart as much as anyother part of my anatomy!  Thank you - this is a wonderful perspective.

She is a very beautiful lady and can see why you would be entranced by her.  However, I would think you would like to protect her as well.  Seeing that these boards are monitored by the law, openly talking about your encounter with her in this manner might not be so wise.  Just an observation of truth.

You hit it square on target my observant friend! (EOM)

How long you've been around matters not and its always refreshing to hear honest voices in the distance. Perhaps what follows may help shed further light on these encounters. I believe that when we slip into "objectification," we risk losing what's truly unique about people.

Treating someone like an "object" lacks humanity… it's classless and more about control… in men, it's their limp dick notion that somehow the woman is the blame for all the world's problems and that being his "eye candy" makes him feel like he's really in control (what a lie). In, women, it's usually the sad, angry, or sexually frustrated types who pretend to be passionate about one thing or another, only to really see the object is really not the true answer to her problem in the first place… People like each other and stay friends (or a couple) mostly out of habit, social expectation… and many do because they truly like each other…

Scientifically speaking, monogamy has a shorter shelf life than a carton of yogurt that sits in the sun… we've all got this basic human cocktail called dopamine, phenylethylamine, and oxytocin that supplies the fuel for our short-lived attraction to one another… what happens after that wears off is the problem… respecting people is about differences and that celebration should last a lifetime… yet, if we become victims of our own notions about other people, rather than let them be(come), we make certain that slippery slope into "objectification" and the end of our genuine need to have someone who will be there to accompany, comfort, debate, relax with, excite, pleasure, and hold…

-- Modified on 2/7/2006 12:21:38 PM

'took a break from the hobby for about 6 months. Just back, and I see this post.
 With the time away, the truth of it is especially clear. The ladies we fancy aren't just bettering themselves financially, they're increasing appreciation for females on the part of most males here.
 Personally, it started with an increased awareness of what I call "feminine power," and has evolved into perception of the human context in which that power resides.
 In other words, I used to like girls, now I really LIKE girls.

That was very well said handsfree.  I really like your reply post on this one.

I am calm and considerate around all women and I credit that to hobbying. I can be me and not have to put on a show and have concerns. I get to know the women that I hobby with as people also, along the way I have met many interesting people.

You are right on target with your piont of view. I have had a similar awakening.

Sometimes, it takes a little more than "reading" me on these pages. Sometimes, I am brusque and contemptible, but I am always a gentleman in the sheets. Hoping to get back to your part of world soon.

to your handsfree in Htown!

Kisses,
Kat

Like many other adventures in life,you will find positives and negatives.highs and lows.
Awakening...yes, Deafening at times...yes
Reflective at times...Yes.
Enjoy

When I entered this hobby, I thought I was just going to have hot wild sex with gorgeous women. And while that certainly has happened to a certain extent, something else completely unexpected simultaneously was happening. Much like you described, in being a member of this community, I began to really genuinely care more about these ladies than I could have ever imagined.

I wrote these words less than one year into the adventure (that was over two years ago now). It still amazes me the profound affect that someone I only meet for an hour can have on me. I have even had a coworker notice that I seemed "content, happier, and all around more cheerful" which I attributed to my most recent positive hobby expereinces.  


"A friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart."  

I agree.  It all in the experience.  Over time I've come to intimately know many beautiful women, mostly through my atfs.  They have made me into a man who can better appreciate women, both those who escort and those who don't. They have taught me how to better relate to women in general.  I have recently begun internet dating and am shocked at how well recieved I have been by civilian women.  They seem to think that I know something about how to treat women and the surprising thing is that I've begun to think they are right.  As a very inexperienced man before I took up this hobby, the ladies seemed to have transformed me into somebody worth knowing...

Point taken.  I'll be more careful in the future.  But, I have to admit, I don't see how my post is any more revealing than the reviews on this site.

Wow, this is remarkable.  I particularly appreciated the comments on objectification.  Upon reflection, I realize now that I was headed down a road of objectification and, ironically, I detoured off that road as a result of starting this hobby.  I have no doubt that many men continue to objectify women while hobbying, but I'm happy to say my eyes have been opened. And, it's grea to hear from others who feel the same way.

Your observation on objectification is enlightening to me, mostly because of my own experiences. Before I gained complete satisfaction via the hobby, any woman with a great body or face or both were subject to lecherous looks from me. Now I notice them only as individuals that have dreams and aspirations. Satisfaction in the hobby took sex out of my dealings with women from all walks of life.