If you have an ATF, how long have you had her, how often do you see her, and for how long?  Just sex or something else?

If you had one but don't anymore what made the change?


I have had mine for about a year,see her every month or so for a 2 of days.  I like the sex but for me she is the complete companion.

Were you searching when you met her?

How did you know/settle on one?

Is the whole point of this hobby just sex and money?

At what point do you stop looking? or participating?



Every woman that I thought had ATF potential has ended in frustration. It might have been my poor judgement of character or I am looking in the wrong place. I'm not sure.

For me, man is completed by women. Becasue of my situation I am willing to pay for that combination of man and woman. I have no expectations or attachemnts, just that they be able to stimulate me inside and out.

Orthodox, you already know my situation, but for the others here:

I’ve been seeing my ATF as often as our schedules allow, ranging from a few times a month to a couple months in between meeting with her.

The sex is very good, but in my mind it would be hard for any Lady to be an ATF (for me) just because of the sex.  It’s definitely the “whole package” including lots more than the physical parts.

I wasn’t searching for one, it just happened.  It took about 30 minutes to know this Lady was different for me.  I’m not sure I could explain then or now how I knew.  It took several visits for her to cross over into the special category of “AFT” as far as what it means to me, and again it just happened.

I was going to answer your next question differently, but I changed my mind.  Yes, I think the “hobby” for many on both sides is rather straightforward.  But it attracts some of the nicest women I have ever met under any circumstances, and as a result personal interactions can develop that transcend the “essentials” of the business.  It also seems to depend upon your mindset going in.  I never anticipate that I will see a Lady more than once, but I do anticipate that for the time I am with her she will be my entire universe, and everything that happens while we are together is for our mutual enjoyment.  Somehow that seems to translate into my really liking a lot of these Ladies.  I would estimate about half of them I keep in some contact with long after the session, even if I’ve never been back to their town.  Are they ATFs?  No, but to some degree I think they/I are friends.

At what point do I stop looking?  Do you mean for an ATF?  I guess I don’t know, since I never sought the woman who is mine now.  When will I stop participating?  Hopefully sometime after my 100th birthday.  

Since you added to my question,

No I wasn't searching for her.  I actually was trying to see someone else for a second time, couldn't get it arranged so My ATF was a substitute who caught my eye and had good reviews.  I actually ended up seeing th other woman again for an overnight, then saw my ATF and the chemistry was right.

The beauty of the hobby is it can be whatever you want it to be about.  For the first 20 years I hobbied, never knew the girls last name, sometimes by the end of the session may not have know her first name.  Variety was the deal.  Then I did the PSE thing.  For me that was all about sex.

My ATF is about having a companion to do things with.  Yes, the sex is good but it isn't all about the sex for me.

Would my ATF see me for free? Hell no, IAATM.  Are we friends, Yes?

When will I stop seeing her? Don't know but that will happen and then I will probably go back to the variety deal.

When should you stop depends on what you want.  If you are looking for a long term relationship to raise kids, etc, you won't find that here and if this is a distraction, then you should stop.  I may jump up and down to sing the praises of my ATF but she also brings all of the problems of an intimate relationship which providing only a few of the rewards.

But as long as you are realistic, never hurts to try.

Have fun, be safe

that my "ATF" (for lack of a better term) is anything but what you all would consider desirable ... she's cold, aloof, unavailable, rarely returns my calls and probably sees only $$$ when she looks me in the eye (which she seldom does)

actually she reminds me of a fidgety cat, the kind that doesn't like you picking her up. always squirming and leaping out of your arms, flinching when you try to touch her and occasionally clawing you if you persist in trying to pin her down

her reviews are mixed at best. her performance scores have been as low as 5 and some of the reviewers say they would NEVER see her again (which i totally understand). she's told me that she doesn't give a rat's ass about her reviews or the men she sees.  that there will always be new customers out there and that she will continue to make over $100K/year regardless of TER and her reviews (she's probably right)


i'm sure you're thinking to yourself: "why the f*ck is she your ATF then?" ... well if i could figure that out i wouldn't be in this mess now, would i?  i mean who wants to be under the spell of a "Jezebel" like her! LOL


-- Modified on 11/23/2003 9:55:47 PM

Were you searching when you met her?:
 No I was enjoying the variety aspect of the hobby when I met her at a provider/hobbyist party about a year ago.

How did you know/settle on one?:
 She was easy to contact, had great availability, great ethics, honest, cute as a button, sexy as can be..... lets just say I was smittened by the whole package.

Is the whole point of this hobby just sex and money?:
 Yes & No.
I think companionship comes into play especially where ATFs are concerned, and even though we compensate them for their time they sometimes turn off the meter when they can or want to. Although sex is always on the schedule sometimes(time permiting) something as ordinary as shopping is shared and enjoyed.
I see my ATF regularly but since I'm a humble man it's usually for only an hour.(I really wish I could afford to take her somewhere nice for a multi-hour or dare I dream "a weekend")

At what point do you stop looking? or participating?: If you are asking when one stops searching for other or new providers thats an individual choice that is summed up with the phrase
"You'll know"

  Sorry you have not been lucky in finding an ATF Huang-Po. I was lucky and stumbled upon mine early on. Remember though that here just like in the real world nothing is perfect and you will probably find what you're looking for when you are not actively looking for it.

I think the good ATF's are all more like cats than dogs.
And I have been trying to break her spell since August.

Sometimes I feel like a big fish caught on light tackle.  I should be able to break off whenever I want so why am I still here?

Let me say I'd rather have a couple of ATF's than any other type of experience.  For a time last year I had 3.  Of those 3, I now have one remaining.

I've known her for a little over 2 years.  We're about the same age and share similar values.  We have become true friends, and we know of each other's personal lives.  I see her every month, and on occasion, more than once in a month.  We usually meet for at least a couple of hours, but she's not a clock watcher.  We share intimacy, but have just met to talk several times.

I had a relationship with one of the other ladies that lasted about one and a half years.  Once a month was our frequency, and it was either one or two hours.  We'd meet for lunch and then go to her place.  Lunch wasn't on the clock.  She was very generous with her time.  I think that happens with a favorite.  We parted on good terms, as she transistions away from providing.  We're keeping in touch my email.

I'm much more comfortable seeing a few quality ladies.  That's how I develop the ATF feeling.

tennis

Compelled to respond to this! Maybe I feel the need to be flamed, castigated, or pitied. Background; my wife has been hors d'combat for the last 15 years. I'm 73.
    Query 1----12 years with my ATF, every two weeks at 1 hour a crack (no pun intended NPI). Found ATF after several years of sloughing, unguided, through the morass of sexual slums (pror to my discovery of TER). Reeling from the blows to my crumbling dignity and pride, I was On the verge of despair and abandonment of my quest when I found HER and recognized, immediately, the validity of my find.
    But 12 years, hey mon are you crazy? Well age (which I have in abundance)is brutal but does sharpen the sense of perspective. Variety indisputedly is titillating (NPI), but I think it is more profitably sought in the labyrinthes of the mind than in the limited orifices that are probed, no matter how skillfully. As far as beauty is concerned one cannot deny its pleasure, but as ole Ben Franklin stated "All cats are gray at night" and beauty is an overrated, superficial part of the overall experience.
    Too much already. Don't be afraid of long term relations. "Once you have found her, never let her go". Marriage is a business, sex and sexuality is an adventure. It's nice, but not necessary, to combine the two.
   Query 2--Had another ATF(wife)for 40 years,stopped--illness