Would like your feedback to know if I did a good or bad thing.  I was traveling and scheduled an appoinment with a reviewed providered.  She had not been reviewed for about as year and said she was a 5' 4" BBW.  Her reviews regarding her BBBJ skills were very positive.  I viewed her site which showed a person in their early 30's and about between 175 - 225 lb.  Now I've been with BBW before and it has been great.  Made an appointment and she showed up on time.  She was about 300+ ld. and she didn't really walk but stalked like a Brontosaurus.  The pictures on her site must have been 10 - 15 years old, she put on her makeup with a trowel and was wearing a really frumph grandy dress.  I just couldn't spend any time with her.  So I made my excuses, tiped her fifty and left.  I could tell she was hurt.  Did I do the right thing?  If not, what was the alternitave?

Your Thoughts Please.

I think you did the right thing.  The only other alternatives would have been to either propose DATY while she sat on your face or call the vets from Jurassic Park to see if they had time to take care of a wounded dinosaur LOL grin.

In all seriousness, how did she age 10-15 years since her last review, what was her last review and you report a problem to TER?

now i'll have to go to sleep with that thought!

trust me, you did the absolute WRONG thing, by even tipping her the $50! there's no freaking excuse for false advertising of that magnitude

i doubt if she was in fact "hurt" ... i mean my god! what kind of deluded woman would put herself in that situation not expecting to get hurt? it may be that a little $50 here and there is all she makes and the "hurt feelings" are just a just an act meant to illicit even more sympathy and/or cash

sorry folks, i'm not one to gouge people's feelings, but there's no excuse for this. heck, if you think there is, i sure would like to hear it!

Now it sounds to me like she probably looks like either Fred or Barney with long hair and we can definitely rule out Betty and Wilma.
Is Mr. Slate a possibility?
Wiiiillllmaaa!

Cheers!

You did the right thing...but you need to post a review to update the database and help others to avoid the same predicament.  Since you find 175-200lbs appealing but 300lbs over the top, I am not sure I can stand in your shoes but any material misrepresentation like this is certainly a basis for walking away.  The $50 was a class thing to do.  My hat is off to you.  When you consider how many guys will nickle dime a provider over $250 vs. $300 or $300 vs. $350 you showed panache.
Hopefully she spent it on another provider, Jenny Craig....

I know that I am going to be flamed, but I have to speak my piece, or forever hold silent on this.

Guys, please remember that BBW's are human beings first and foremost, regardless of what the lady should look like.  Please try to refrain from the name calling. It's not right, and deep down inside, you know it. I can see in no circumstances, where any human being should be treated like this. Not even you men, that I still call gentlemen. I don't see anywhere, where this lady deserves this kind of treatment, regardless of her looks. I don't read anywhere, that she forced herself on him. That she stole from him. That she and him wrestled to the ground and she took all the money and ran.

Remember: bbw means BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. It doesn't mean, showing up in a size 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, outfit and proclaiming to be on the slim side. It seems to me, that maybe Catlin was expecting a thinner woman? If so, then maybe a bbw is not what you would want? What gents need to remember is that, bbw's come in different sizes, as well. Some bigger than the size, that Catlin suggests. Infact, the term bbw would most likely mean in most cases, 200ish,  300+.

Catlin- You did the right thing by sending her on her way. Better yet, she probably wasn't expecting you to even give her any money, at all. I am pretty sure that she is grateful for that But, if it were me, that you had seen, and the scenario unfolded like the way that you did, and if you were going around calling me names, just because you were not attracted to me, and that I never did anything to you, like stole your money, etc.,  I would be more hurt, that you were acting more like a little kid in grade school, than a man who was respective towards a woman, who is a human being. Deep down inside, you know you did the right thing, by giving her a little bit of money, and had her be on her way. But, what is confusing me, is why go on TER and ask if you did the right thing, and also refer to her by a name? Any gentleman would have wiped his hands clean of the incident and moved on.  

So, my question to the gentlemen of the board today is: Why do men feel the need to be hurtful towards women, when there is really no evidence to be? Is it okay to say bad things about a person, when it's not even warranted? Is it okay to put other people down, just because you are not attracted, although this person didn't do anything dangerous and life threatening towards you? Confused here, as well.

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 7:23:30 AM

Gentlemen- lets not all play ignorant today.

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 7:29:53 AM

Would NOT be name calling...it would be descriptive. He didn't call her a Brontosaurus...he said she walked like one. One could "walk like a Brontosaurus" no matter how large you were.

This was no more name calling than calling her dress frumpy was / is.

Understanding the distinction is an example of NOT being ignorant. Not liking the characterization doesn't give one the right to distort the use of the English language to suit your argument / position…he DIDN’T call her a name…he painted a less than flattering (but presumably truthful) descriptive picture of her behavior, for the benefit of those he wanted feedback from….

Your turn now…show us how ignorant you are by refuting the truth….

it is what it is. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that when a person is  saying: "stalked like a Brontosaurus.", that he wasn't being nice at all. Also, look at the thread below Catlin's. What is disturbing about all of this (to me) , is you can see where the "hi-five/slap on the back as acceptance" threads are starting to form. But, they have their opinion, and I have my own. I already spoke my piece.

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 8:14:42 AM

"no ... human being should be treated like this" -- STM


what about Catlin? is he not a "human being"  ?

or does your logic only apply to a "woman being" ?


please know that i'm not feeling mean or hurtful this morning (despite a god-awful head cold), but the kind of double standard that you're propagating can not go without a response. sorry.

The guy says the pictures are 10-15 years old  and she has put on at 100lbs or 1/3 of her total body weight.  That is a radical change in appearance and not different than the other thread that was running about the redhead vs. the blonde.

In fact it is hard to gain 100lbs in a year.  Even over weight people are relatively weight stable within 10% of their total body weight so there is clearly something going on here.  In my experience (this is what I do for a living) someone who is only 5'4" and weighs 300lb is going to have a lot of trouble ambulating.

Again I apologize for appearing cruel but I would defend myself somewhat based on extremely old pictures and a radical change in body habitus.

Big people Rule

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 8:18:40 AM

and cave in at the slightest sign of a PC provider sheepishly "correcting" them on their lack of "etiquette" ??

i guess your msg had a "but" clause, but dunno if it makes a difference really (no offense)


[the head-cold is starting to get to me now!

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 8:21:04 AM

She/He should be treated with the proper respect, UNTIL She/He has proved, otherwise. Maybe I need glasses, but no where did I read anything about her being rude, obnoxious, snatching the money from him, running out the door. Then, damn skippy! I would be first one to call that person a name, regardless of who you are! But, calling them a name or referring them to an out dated animal, just because they were NOT up to his standards, is the shame here

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 8:33:42 AM

the double standard was in reference to it being ok for him to be "screwed" (figuratively, not literally) and not her!

this double standard, or "twisted chivalry" as i calls it is all too prevalent on these boards and in this hobby

somewhere some radical femminist self-proclaimed Goddess must've etched onto stone the 11th commandment that it's ok for women to phuck with men (deceive, rob, even attack them physically) and men are supposed to belly up and say "thank you M'am, can i have another?"


or is this not LITERAL enough for you?  

no matter how you looked at it. What is so shameful about all of this is that the acceptance for people to treat people like crap, just because they looked a certain way. That is too bad. I find it funny, that I am now the "bad person" because I feel differently. Maybe I was raised in the wrong way, or something. But, I was always taught, it is not polite to call people names.

Singleton, you didn't answer my question, deary

Does this give you a right, to call someone names, because a person is not up to your standards?

Okay here goes: Lets just say that you showed up at my door, and lets just say that you weren't looking like all that and a bag of chips, yourself. Is it okay for me to come on the board, knowing that you were going to read this passage, and refer to you walking in my door stalking like a(figuratively speaking-mind you lol),big toothed, sour-pussed, baldheaded eagaled looking guy, who wore high-waters, and his clothes looked very frumpy on him? hmmmmm..I think not lol

I was asked why I apologized and of course the questioner was right.

Myself as a consumer make decisions based upon accurate information given to me by the provider.  When the provider misrepresents herself by false or old pictures, inaccurate representations of what she is willing to do, tacking herself on to other peoples websites without out it being crystal clear who she is, etc, then I feel no obligation whatsoever to stay or pay anything.  As I have said before, if I wanted a BMW and she turns out to be a Rolls, well I wanted a BMW and I am not going to drive away in a Rolls.

So no tip and I would make sure her Review on TER had a problem attached so that no one gets stuck with the same delemma.

By the way, forgot to ask if she provided bagels?

and the difference is:  How would  you like to be treated, if someone didn't find you up to their standards? Do you still want to be treated with respect? Or, do you want someone to refer to you, as a distinct animal?  Did you show up, threaten to squeal, wrestle for the money, make a big scene, etc? Apparently, she didn't put up any fight, for he did give her the money. I know if someone was putting on a scene he/she won't get diddley squat out of me, at all lol.

"you ... a big toothed, sour-pussed, baldheaded eagaled looking guy, who wore high-waters, and his clothes looked very frumpy on him" -- STM


OH MY LORD! ...  who ratted me out?  ... LOL

by describing her in that way? Nosc- I had expected more from you. I am pretty sure, you would be very upset if someone posted the same statment about you. Please don't say that you wouldn't be lol

You ratted your ownself out LOL

We didn't have any hand in that one, sorry- sugarplum. But, hey..no one is perfect, right? Also, I am glad to know that you do floss, and hopefully rinse. We all wanna take care of our beautiful teeth, from small to big toothed



-- Modified on 6/23/2003 9:02:48 AM

As I stated in my earlier post, he did do the right thing, by sending her on her way. Deep down inside, he knows he did Yes, I agree with you, he should have taken this back channel, and written to her and told her, that he felt she misrepresented herself to him. Even write a review, for it's his right to do so! I DO NOT disagree with that at all. What I have a hard time believing is that, in his whole post, he never mentions if she came off rude, caused a scene, did whatever for him  to refer to her as a distinct animal. Now, if she did all of those things, and more, I can probably see why he would be upset. But, seeing how things turned out for the best with her leaving, and him retaining 90% of his funds, with NO wrestling match, name calling, making a scene, and them both retaining their dignity by ending the appt., that it led to him refering to her as an animal.

Posted by StopTheMadness , 6/13/2003 10:30:42 PM    
Men who want: flat ass, not tits, narrowed hips: go one way. Those who want: full breasts, shapely hips, curvey females, go another way.  

Lets face it: there are more women with the top of what I posted who are out there advertising on these different sites, than the other. I would love to see more of the natural non-anorexic look:  a woman looking like a woman: the bottom  half of what I posted.


-- Modified on 6/13/2003 10:45:05 PM

If you are going post, post everything: even me rescinding (apologizing)  my post. I was wrong, myself. But it doesn't make what Catlin did right, either. Does it, Slim? Come on, why be half-assed and only post what you want to hear, right? Remember to  post my apologies to you,  as well. Don't come off and step, and attempt to make yourself look like slim "shady". Also,  I can admit my mistakes, and admited them gracefully.  Can you, Slim Sally?

Thank you very much





-- Modified on 6/23/2003 9:32:41 AM

Posted by StopTheMadness , 6/14/2003 5:40:17 AM    
You are right. I apologize like a true gentleman.

Madness

It is with me. What about you? lol

Apparently, my apologies might have not been enough for you, the FIRST time around. So AGAIN- I did and still do apologize I hope it helps you to move on gracefully from this, Slim Sally Just like, I hope the woman in question (in Catlin's post), to move on, as well. Hopefully, we can all take stock in what has transpired in today's event, and ALL learn (including myself) something about ourselves.

peace-out






-- Modified on 6/23/2003 9:44:59 AM

i see that StopTheMadness even succeeded in brainwashing a usually freethinking NOSC to eventually side with her on this issue (as women surely must, no?

and what conclusions did these two women reach, you may ask?

that it was very CLASSY of ol' Catlin to tip this **** the $50

but utterly UNCLASSY of him to bring it up on this board!


in other words, topics like this should not be discussed in open, and women like her should be tipped regardless of their practices

BRAVISSIMO!


Catlin, sorry man, but there's just no Cojones on this board today. you lose pal!  and all it took was 2 women to crush this thing into little bits and pieces and shove it under the rug and (in the end) to blame YOU for being the perpetrating party for even bringing it up


but of course, the tipping part was nice ... ALWAYS TIP!  uh-huh!

Okay, playing nice here. Lets just agree to disagree. Thanks.

STM

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 1:18:28 PM

Life is too short to be that way.

The point is, she posted an old picture, debatable if it is even her.

That is the ONLY point. She used a picture that was either terribly outdated or not even her!!!!!!!!!

I'm done. Thank you for your time, patience, and consideration in this most serious matter.

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 1:23:28 PM

Take Care,

stm

origin of the thread and apparently has now sat back and let everyone else try to kill each other.

WAY TO STIR THE POT, CAITLIN!!!! Wish I could make a thread go like this!!!

First of all let me say that that Catlin could have omitted the sentence regarding a Brontosaurus and have gotten his point across.  

He could attempt to write a review although I don't know if it would be published since an encounter did not take place.  He could also submit a problem report and try to get her profile updated to reflect old and inaccurate pictures.  Obviously he can't change the reviews of someone else that are more than a year old.  

We do not know what lady he is discussing since Catlin does not name her and there are no reviews under the name of Catlin.

Now let's turn to the lady.  First of all she is not being criticized because she fails to meet Catlin's standard but because her pictures do not accurately reflect her current looks.  Are her pictures a fair representation of her current appearance is the standard.

IMHO if this 5'4" lady has pictures that are 15 years old and show her at 200 lbs and she now weighs 300+ lbs then she is attempting to commit fraud.  Her apparent intent is sell her services based upon pictures which she must know are very inaccurate and deceptive to any potential client.  Hopefully when the she shows up at the door the client will either be too embarrassed to cancel the session or give her a cancellation fee.

Her pictures would be the rough equivalent of me taking my photos from my high school year book and using them in an advertisement as a male escort.  I shudder at the thought.

Perhaps Catlin's post will embarrass this lady into having new pictures taken that more accurately reflect her current situation but I doubt it.

Ladies is this really the sort of behavior you want to say should be condoned and not ridiculed.  Or put another way if your current website photos are 15 years old and you have added 100 lbs since they were taken would you be surprised if a gentleman turned you away when you showed up at his door.

Well, I am still sticking to my original posts

Nosc- You were just able to see both sides of the situation. Don't let others dictate how you should react. When you finally realized how a certain part of the original post could have been better edited, that was your true self coming out. There is nothing wrong with that. Give yourself a pat on the back Remember, sometimes you just have to stray away from the "crowd" and stand firm with your beliefs

stay safe

stm




-- Modified on 6/23/2003 6:42:12 PM

a hot lady.  I don't even have time to check all the arguments since she is coming to my hotel room in 15 minutes.

Happy Hobbying.

Yes, but I modified them to add more to them

If you noticed, you would have realized that I didn't "take away" from my stand point. I never backed down from how I felt about the situation, Mr. Singleton Mr. Singleton, I think that you are starting to develop a crush on me lol It is funny how you seem to watch my every post, and want to remark about which posts I have modified. Geez, I didn't realize how much you were up my "cracker jack" box. Hopefully, a prize for you will come out LOL

STM




-- Modified on 6/23/2003 7:31:21 PM

-- Modified on 6/23/2003 7:04:24 PM

Mr. StopTheMadness - I am a gentleman at all times!   I never said anything rude or disrespectfully to the lady and never would.  It took me several days to express my analysis of how she walked, I'd never seen a woman walk that way before.  I believe you are really not interested in the truth but just stiring things up.

To all the rest, who expressed an opinion I thank for your input, I never thought this simple question would get so out of hand.

Take Care - Catlin

4 more to go and then the ex-model is coming to S. CA, time to make up for my cancelled appointment.

The city I am in right now, it is practically an open secret.  Outcall to hotel after midnight is the norm.

Life is good. Lol.

is a peculiar sub-Jurassic species indeed. preliminary evidence recently unearthed at the Provider National Park (aka TER) shows that "Ptops" (for short) stalked her prey by sending its young supple offspring to parade in front of the unsuspecting rat-like mammals scurrying through the underbush of seedy motel rooms and incall locations.

when the unwitting red-blooded "hob-hobbing" was caught off-gaurd and rendered helpless, "Ptops" would suddenly emerge, it's gargantuan head poking through the upper canopy, the sheer weight of her "stomp" sending little seismic quakes radiating outwards for miles.

having thus intimidated her prey into submission, just by the  sheer size and weight of her bulk, "Ptops" would then proceed to ...


ahhh forget it! this darned head-cold of mine... you all can finish off this parody by yourselves!   LOL  

looks like i'll be dreaming of "beasts" yet again tonight!

To Mr. Catlin- our differences of opinion

You mentioned that I like to Stir things up? Sorry, but I took from what you wrote, and I had an opinion on it. If you didn't want anyone to express an opinion, you should have not laid it out there for the world to see.   If my opinion of your post, didn't coincide with everyone else's out there, that is not my issue at all. That is plainly saying, that I didn't see it in some ways, that other's did. I don't apologize for speaking up.  I never heard of a discussion board, where every single post  had to either be vanilla or chocolate. If that was the case, it would be a boring board LOL Thank god, it's not that way on this board.  Case in point: Mr. Singleton, my "sparing" partner. I need to admit, that I enjoyed trading barbs with him lol. It kept me on my toes Just like, he probably thought mine were a hoot, as well.  Anyways, you have your opinion, and I have mine. No disrespect intended. Just an opinion Anyways, I am done with this topic, and there will always be those who feel opposite, than I. But, that is how life is sometimes, and you gotta cut your losses, and realize that at times, you just learn to agree to disagree

Take Care, Catlin and those out tonight in TER Land

STM





-- Modified on 6/24/2003 12:01:50 AM

and I don't necessarily disagree with all of your statements.  

IMHO Catlin should have attempted to post a review on the lady.  If TER published his review (even though there were no juicy details, etc) then there is no need to post on the discussion board.

If TER would not publish his review then he should have filed a problem report on her profile(If they would not accept the review I doubt they would accept the problem report) and made a post to the closest local board.  Unless she is a travelling provider the post should not be on the national board.  The post should not say anything about animals.  It should state that the pictures are 15 years old and that she weighs 100 lbs more in person than she does in the old pictures.  It should also give her name.

The purpose of this post should not be to ridicule her because she is heavy.  The purpose of the post is to draw attention to the fact that the pictures on her web site misrepresent her current appearance and to let other prospective clients know that what they see on her web site is not really what they are going to get.  

If that sort of post upsets the lady then she should get more recent pictures that reflect her current appearance.  Just as the lady deserves not to be called hurtful names her clients deserve truth in advertising.

Also I believe that you and to a greater extent Singleton owe NOSC an apology.  Over the years I have seen a number of NOSC's posts on a variety of subjects and she sticks to what she thinks is right.  On a few occassions I have seen her change her mind based upon someone bringing forth ideas or facts that have caused her to rethink her position.  The willingness to think about a subject and to change your thinking based upon additional thought and input is a sign of strength not weakness.  I have not seen her blindly engage in us against them behavior.

To Mr. Stumpy

Mr. Stumpy, please read this post, and you will see that NOSC, came to her own conclusion, really with NO help from me. She was able to see both sides of the coin, which is what made me admire about her. No one else, was able to do that, but her. This is what NOSC, wrote (below):

"Im entitled to change my mind and have thought this through

Yes, the woman did victimize Caitlin. However, he did not need to post it all here. He should have just addressed it to TER. His style of writing is descriptive, but overly so and if the lady in question reads it she will be hurt!

I love descriptive literature, but this was not wise on the part of Caitlin and if he is concerned about being unkind, in posting for her to possibly read, he has been unkind and well..wimpy. He didnt need our advice on this!I do feel that he should have tipped her the 50."
___________________________________________________________________
Continuance of my point of view:

Just like Nosc, and anyone else in this world, is entitled to change his or her position. I admire people, who rethink, find out maybe there might be an issue afterall, is able to see both sides  (not one sided), and is able to admit to a change of heart.


As Nosc stated, I don't need anyone to hold my hand to go to the bathroom. Remember, NOSC- came to the conclusion herself. Lets not all point fingers. Nosc is a grown person, and it looks like to me, that she was able to come to a decision (several of them, infact lol). She didn't need help from me at all Just like, I didn't need help from anyone, coming to my decision, and the difference is, is that I didn't flip flop on the issue (no disrespect towards anyone). Anyways, I said my piece a long time ago. I am glad to hear Catlin's side, and although I may disagree with him abit, it is still his opinion, and I still kept mine. You still have yours, Mr. Stumpy

Take Care

STM

-- Modified on 6/24/2003 6:27:30 AM

First of all I still stick by my posts. I am not the one who flipped flopped on this issue.

Now, if people want to continue this thread, and assume things out of me, just because I chose to stray away from the crowd, that is their own right. Also remember, I gave Catlin partly kudos, for I still felt he did the right thing, by offering the woman a "cancellation fee", in which he didn't even have to do that! He even sent her on her merry ole' way, and he had every right to do so, that I wasn't objecting to!!!! So lets all get that straight, shall we?  I find it funny, how no one brought up that part lol  I wasn't expressing objection to that, I was expressing an opinion on how I felt (please take note-I FELT) he was referring to her. At last, I said my last piece on this whole matter, and I feel secure in myself to know, that I made the right decision in expressing myself, and NOT allowing myself to be swayed, because of fear of rejection from the board. Again (must I keep repeating myself here over and over?????), Lets all agree to disagree, and move on. For those, who want a continuance on this thread, feel free to do so, but I am going to take advantage of the good weather I hope that you all do tooooo

Take care and be safe!

STM

p.s.

Matter closed.

Stay safe and well, EVERYONE

MISTER STM. Not a Miss or Mrs. Lets clear that up. Mr. Singleton chose to out me in the opposite sex, and I chose NOT to correct him.



-- Modified on 6/24/2003 7:45:55 AM

I didn't mention  your name in my last post. Please get over it and move on. It's over.


Thanks AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STM

Man, there sure is a riot going on about this post. I haven't seen anyone mention though, maybe I missed it in all the BS, that the risk was taken by him. No reviews for a year? Flag number one. I guess a Thank You should be in store for Taking One For The Team.

Her site was viewed to see pictures, you liked them enough to proceed ... AND, her reviews said her BBBJ skills were very positive. The meeting was set, she wasn't what you thought, you tipped her and went about your day. Nice of you to tip her ...

But in the end, and without opening another can of politically correctness about the way someone is described ... didn't Catlin think with the little head, not the big one? Isn't that the bottom line? He asked for thoughts about this, and the majority of the posts have absolutely nothing to do with his post.

I'd think the lesson, if there is one at all... is to watch for flags; like not being reviewed for a year. (At least she was still in business, huh?) And also to not let the thoughts of a good BJ; hamper our decision making process.

Again, nice of you to tip her. I'm sure many wouldn't have given her a dime. You mention too that you've been with BBW before and it was great. So I don't see your remark as mean at all. She just wasn't was advertised/shown on her site.

I also agree that an updated review is in order. Just (please) don't refer to her as any form of extinct species. Don't want to open another can of BS. Sorry, I mean worms.

My $0.02. More like a $1. Keep the change.

Jimbomania

I believe the description would constitute a similie, not a metaphor.

Regards,

Talisman