Can someone please explain to me just wtf is with the obsession of some clients for learning an escort's 'real' name? What is the big deal? I can't even count how many clients have, over the years, whined, cajoled and weaseled around trying to learn what my super-secret identity is.

Why does it matter? I hate to be blunt, but when I am with a client, my real name IS my work name, because you are spending time with my work persona - and you should be thankful for this. After all, my 'work' persona is always in the mood for sex, always dressed in lingerie, and is never going to bitch to you about how I still need to do groceries and drop my dogs off at the vets. My work persona is for the benefit of both of us - it not only keeps me safe, but it allows me to create a mood and mystique that enhances the encounter for us both.

I know ladies who have gone to the trouble of creating a fake 'real' name, just to deal with this question. Do clients who do this realize that asking this question repeatedly can make us worry that you're a stalker, and make us less likely to want to see you again?

So, again, my question is why on earth does it seem to matter so much to some men? Does it make you feel that you know us better, or that you're special in some way that other clients are not?

Morgan

Hey hey.. We just talked about this in other channels ! Its a great way when you sheeplishly tell them Buela.. " do you see why I need a stage name "... Its a real shine on your day when your friend calls and says.. " HI Buela ! How are ya !! "

eom

MorganEllis is Not your reel name ? ? ?

I'm Devistated ! ! !

Thank you

Oh and Yes Ciara there is a SantaFollowmeClaus

"MorganEllis is Not your reel name ? ? ?"

Actually, it is my 'reel' name - it's what I use when I do porn, too

- M

but I laugh when providers return an email that has their real name on it in the set up.

When this happened once, I googled the provider's name got her address, real phone number, husband's name etc. In an attempt to be a good Samaritan, I showed the info to the provider and told her she should be more careful. I also printed the instructions so she could change her setup to keep from giving her real name and information.

She never bothered to change it.

What more can you do?

OFF

several times when they were in the process of relating a story and referred themselves by their real name.

However, I purposed not to remember or use them.

OFF

Several ladies have shared their other name with me, but I've never asked.  Once was a convention where all were required to have a badge, but most have been more like, "in case you're wondering, my name is ..."

It's nice to feel trusted enough to be let inside the circle, but it certainly isn't a requirement for a fun time together.  Boundaries are important, and crossing them should only be done by the very brave.

A lady sharing such information with you obviously has established a level of trust which makes her comfortable doing so.

There's a big difference between what you have with them - which is a confidence freely given - and what clients get when they insist on learning this. What is the value of a confidence insisted upoun? It's of no value, unless she chose freely to share it with you.

- M

For some women, the business is like an acting career. When they show up with you it's "showtime" and this is how they separate their personal life from their career in order to keep one from bleeding into the other.

Other women either want to or can't help being themselves at all times and wanting the adoration of men to be for herself and not some fake identity. She gets more satisfaction out of guys calling her by her real name.

Whichever way works for you, great. It's all about which way a woman copes better with a profession that does have some danger to it.

As for men wanting to know the real name, I think it's a sign that she trusts you and sees you as a friend, not just a client. That would be my reaction anyway. I'm flattered when they give me their real name.

For myself, the only reason I'd like to know the real name (first name only) is if the fake name is difficult to say/write or if the name reminds me of somebody I'd prefer not to think about (ex-gf, boss, mother, etc.) at such a moment. Sorry, ladies, but if your nom-de-guerre is "Melissa", that's already Strike One. I don't want to be calling that out while climaxing.

There is a way around it for guys - invent a nickname. Nothing crude but just a term of endearment special for the lady you are with.

OK, here's my two cents. You can call me a PL, a cornball or (hopefully) a romantic, but the few ladies of whom I have asked their real name after 2 or 3 dates were those I felt srtongly about, who I might have and (in one case) did seriously consider leaving my spouse to be with (you know who you are my love, I know you read these blogs). Knowing the real name made the expeience of being together more personal, more meaningful.

One of the first escorts I knew (still know them!) had a very phony, yet sexy name:  Shanti.  I never for a moment suspected it was her real name and I didn't care either.  After about six months and six dates later she gave me her "personal" phone number to use, so that she'd know it was "me" calling, and also added that her name was Debby.  OK, I figured her name must be Debby, why trade off one fake name for another?  It was almost two years later when we did our first overnight and I asked her if she wanted me to bring all that cash, or would she prefer that I write a check.  At this point we were pretty close and she said a check would be fine.  So we got to the point where I started to write out her name and she says, "Hold it. That's not my real name."  And so it goes.

Some providers have told me their names at the end of the first date, some even before, some never, some inadvertantly so (While saying goodbye at the airport, they stuck their credit card into the self-service boarding pass machine and there it blurted out Ms. Fisher's info.)

And why do (some) men care?  We're nosy bastards, that's all.

Of COURSE, the reason is that it offsets the reality that a guy is paying to have sex with a stranger. Some guys don't mind this, and will never ask a name, but for others, it lowers the sense of strangeness around something that, realistically, most of us would not choose to do.  I mean, come on, if men could get what they wanted in the "real" world (either in activities or in a partner), business would likely drop by 50-75%.  

I have almost never asked this question (and have only done so if I got to know the person well and we talked about personal issues), but have almost always been told anyway.  Most of the ladies I have seen evidently wanted a sense of connection with reality as well, even if it was something as superfluous as a name.  However, I have known a couple who I never knew their real names with, and that was fine...it is up to them where they want to draw the line, and a client should never ask more than once, if at all.

To many of us males, getting your real name is a sign that we are "special" or in some way "better than the rest".
We need that positive feedback to build our ego.

Personally, I am not interested in your real name unless you want to tell me.
There is a line between business and friendship.
Sometimes we unexpectedly find ourselves becoming friends.
Now, I do know the real name of several ladies that I have seen.
They told me, I didn't ask, but it was after we seemed to click and had a strong connection.
We have continued to be friends.
And they know I would never betray that confidence.

If a lady thinks enough of you to tell you her real name, feel honored and don't betray her trust.
If she doesn't want to tell you, take the hint.
Just my opinion...
B

for unwelcome enquiries about my real name...

"Ima Provider!"

Guys want to believe the fantasy is real.  If you give him your real name, you're feeding the desire to believe in the fantasy that the persona creates.  He's now an "insider;" he's "special."  

Here's a tougher question:  When there's no other reason (such as an agency girl giving her real name so she can do independent business on the side), why would a provider voluntarily give her real name to a guy?

I think they want to believe it's not all just an act, that they are in fact catching a glimpse of something that no one else gets to know or see or hear when you utter your real name. They want to believe that it's all real. Next time, humor them and spout out whichever your favorite actress' name is and they'll never know. Life will go on and they'll feel like your special little man.

Sorry... I completely misunderstood an earlier reply and pulled the ole trigger a bit too quickly...  

-- Modified on 7/26/2006 2:16:13 PM

-- Modified on 7/26/2006 4:41:04 PM

The thing that struck me one of the first times is how quickly it came out.  She asked if I'd done something where I would've come upon her name.  I looked at her (insert dumb look here) and confessed that it never occurred to me.  She blurted out her name, and said "I trust you".  Since then, we've seen each other a few more times, and I've gotten to know more.

Morgan, I agree completely.  Unless I plan on following you home and invading your personal life, it's really just an ego thing.  If I have to ask, knowing has no value.

As an aside, knowing isn't always a good thing.  A lady I know has let out her "other" name to a few people, and I've met some of them.  At times I find myself in conversation with them, about her, and I'm thinking that we're both using this other name when we don't need to, but don't want to blurt out something we're not supposed to know, just in case.

I do believe the honest answers from the gentlemen about ego, feeling special, etc. are right on, for most.  Why?  When I am asked for my real name and then give it, the men often (not always, but often) begin acting as though we've crossed from a client/escort relationship to some kind of couple.  

I wish I'd used my real name, it would be much easier.  It's about as common as Kate anyway, so it's not as if I would be identified by it.  I respond to Kate now so it never crosses my mind to tell someone my real name unless they ask or it's necessary.

Kate  

-- Modified on 7/26/2006 3:06:15 PM

drop me a line sometime or other.

I've had some providers tell me there real name, but I think it would be rude to ask. And even though I know their real names, I make it a point never to call them by it. If I got in the habit of using their real names I'm afraid I'd let it slip out wiht other people.

http://www.escortblogs.net/sinfullyciara.htm?blog=20060726084206

Bingo. However, having a perverse appreciation for the inverse, I love not knowing her real name ... especially the more intimately I know her. It's a turn-on not knowing her name.
Only once did I ask the real name of a girl. She is Chinese and she answered without hesitation knowing full well I would never know if it's real, much less be able to pronounce it. The only reason I asked is because I thought her persona did not match her professional name.

Unfortunately, it's none of their friggin' business. I could give another fake name and they'd never know the difference, so please guys stop asking us. It's too personal. If we tell you, it's because we want to, but absolutely don't ever ask me because I'll have to tell you "no."  This is a fantasy. It's not supposed to be a real date, although we make you feel like we're a real date. For those of you who have been granted the permission to get my real name, that's because I've felt comfortable giving it to you, and usually not on a first appointment. However, I've never given my last name. Let's keep some things personal, okay?

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 7/26/2006 6:13:20 PM

I have never ever asked for a real name. However, I have been given the real name (I think, lol) by the lady. And some of the highest profile ladies in my area. But, I still call them by the stage name even when we IMing or calling each other. Don't want it slipping out of MY mouth.

Then there are the ones with email addresses with real names on them. Or they did not bother to change things around in yahoo name either. Go figure.

The most common ones have been given.  That guys want to feel like they're special.

If the guy is new, it might be simple curiosity, and they may not know how high the barriers are to just letting every client know.

Other guys might have something of an intrigue fetish.  They want to think they are in on the secret.  

As I've written, curiosity and attraction are twin sisters.  If a guy is attracted to you, under normal circumstances, he'd be curious, too.  It's a curiosity guys should restrain.  

Finally, I'm not sure if you noticed, some ladies choose some very awkward names.  "Blondie" doesn't do it in one-on-one conversation.  For any intimacy at all, the lady has to have a real name.

I've learned a few "real names."  (One of them, I suspect, wasn't really her name.)  I've never asked a shift-mistress for her name.  If I learn it, I never say it aloud, I never write it, I never use it in any way without her express permission.

This has always been mystery for me...as an example I have a Lady I see very regularly that has told me the names of her children and her place of emloyment as well as the nickname her family and work friends use.  I of course have not used that info to find out her real name.

It makes no sense to me why I would need to know a providers real name. To be honest I don't really care. I am there for an illusion regarding a romantic interlude. After my time is up I am done our paths separate and thats it. No need for any personal information, ofcourse should a lady wish to share I am always attentive, but I don't want to be too close. After all I want to fall in love a few hours ata time

nobody asked

As has been posted numerouse times on this board and other places... if a provider wishes to "get closer" or "make it real" with you, they will let you know... and you can take it from there!  But unless they let you know that they wish to inform you of their personal life... I figure it is none of my business!  While I have let my personal feelings known to a few providers, I do it with few expectations... but to let them know I value them as a person...  

Some have reciprocated... and know what, we have enjoyed moments that are truly spectacular...  or at least they are from my perspective! and I think (or at least the ladies have indicated that the time was nice for them as well!).  

I have learned the names of some providers, by design on their part, by accident and simply for whatever random reasons....

One of the funniest things that ever happened was I once dated a provider - but did not know that she was a provider! lol!  and she used her provider name to make dates with me!  not sure why... but she did.  Once we were talking and she slipped and said her real name... I said nothing.  A couple of weeks later, she wanted me to accompany her to a family event... on the way there, she said, "oh, by the way, I have to tell you something..." I looked at her and said, "I know, you real name is Brenda Starr"!  She looked shocked and wondered how I knew that, I did tell her...  but yea, all should realize that these ladies share so much that is intimate with us, they need something - that is theirs and theirs alone to give.... or not!

Great question... now what was your name?! lol

I call them by their initials. Example Morgan Ellis, I'd call Miss M.

Some providers have just come out and told me on their own after the 1st meeting. Probably just as important to them.

Here's the problem for me. Sometimes I give out my real name after meeting someone. Then months later, I get a caller asking for me by my real name. Then I think someone gave it to them.

Also, alot of guys who contact me for appts, when giving their references, give out the girl's real name & stage name. And I think why is that necessary to tell me that? It just tells me I should not give them any info about me that is private since they use it to get a date, or try to anyways, lol.

Sara

Great honest answer.

Sara

I have had clients ask me for my name and I give them a fake one. In fact I am not even sure of what my "name" is until they tell me because I have a few of them floating around. LOL