I'm a little new at this.  I've seen a fair number of ladies, both providers and civilians.  I've also been in communication with a number of providers whom I HAVEN'T seen, because they're uncomfortable with DATY.  This is something I really enjoy.  And for me, it's pretty much the whole (I avoided the obvious pun) deal.  Because of a spinal cord injury, I can rise to the occasion, but I can't feel anything.  As a result, my sessions are ENTIRELY about pleasing my partner(s).  Of course, I can't say for sure, but judging from most of the reactions and comments I've received (from both the providers and the civilians), I think I do a fair job.  Can any of you ladies tell me why DATY is not more universally popular among you?  Thank you.

I love it!! Give it me me. When a client asks what do I like, I tell them oral.

Shaye

Most men don't do it well, unless taught.  The best oral I have ever received have been from women.  I will be the first to teach someone.  Have you been taught?  For most providers, it's probably not worth the effort.  After all, you are going to be gone in an hour & some believe it would be hurting your feelings to tell you how to do it.  

In addition, DATY is a very personal experience.  Does she think you are worthy enough to help her experience ectasy or is that reserved for someone she is in love with?  Is she completely comfortable in your presence to release all control to you?

Lizzy

-- Modified on 4/30/2003 12:08:26 AM

As much as I love DATY, it can be an occupational hazard, cannot it be?  Isnt it possible for us to receive herpes from YOU ?

My wife taught me.  Like I said, I suffered a spinal cord injury.  That was in 1999.  For a long time, my wife and I just kind of figured we couldn't have a sex life.  And, I guess I was like a lot of guys -- oral was simply something I did to get my wife hot enough to let me get on to the important stuff:  me.

But, we gradually began to experiment.  Because there was really nothing in it for me, I wasn't distracted by the need to reach my own release.  I finally began to listen.  I mean REALLY listen.  My wife and I took the process in gradual steps, with her instructing me gently and patiently.  We finally reached a point where I could get my wife to reach multiple orgams running over several hours.  I became pointless to count them.

Of course, I enjoyed pleasing my wife.  But, the most interesting development was that I began to derrive an almost physical pleasure from the process.  No, I didn't cum.  But, when my wife finally screamed for me to stop, I was just as breathless, just as sweaty, and just as exhausted as she.  I felt no frustration, no pent up pressure.

My wife passed away last June (if she were alive, I wouldn't even know this board existed).  Since then, I've been with quite a few ladies, as I said.  I've learned even more.  Mostly, that every woman is different.  Some like delicate, little flicks, some a more aggressive approach.  Some like fingers massaging their G spot, some find it distracting.  Some like me to incorporate asian into the process, some don't.  

Mostly, I found I have a great fondness and respect for women.  As one might expect, I've made a number of dear friends.  I deeply enjoy giving this kind of pleasure to women.  And, I'll admit, I get a real rush from the response (I DO have an ego, after all).

Thanks for the honesty in the post.

I also am a firm believer in being sensitive to your mates needs and giving her pleasure as well!

I have an ego too and it is a big turn on to know that you have pleased your mate and it makes the sesssion that much better!

I have some regulars who suggest (in different ways) that I DATY, and have seen a couple who have a you-first approach to oral. A few that I have seen a long time simply ask me to do it. One even asked for a detailed description of my technique so she could explain it to her boyfriend.

You're right.  Herpes can be passed on through oral-to-vaginal sex.  Of course, as a provider, you have no reasonable way of knowing if I'm experiencing an outbreak, other than to inspect my mouth.  Personally, I'd submit, but I dare say many men might not.  Of course, in MY case, if I didn't submit, the session would be over, so I might tend to be a little more reasonable than some others.

I certainly understand your misgivings.  I wish there was an easy answer.  Thanks for the response.

I have experience some of the best oral from my clients that are quads. I mean some amazing attention........wow! I love it as long as my partner is not aggressive or forceful in anyway. I prefer the soft teasing attention/
Kisses & licks.........
Mara of San Diego

MagicalLizzy, do happen to know where I can find a copy of "DATY FOR DUMMIES"?  I understand Bill Clinton gave his only copy to GW Bush, but the dog ate it!

Kisses and licks, versus attempting to pull out the clit or bite it off, is the way to go lol

Mel ;

Alot of it is just reading your partners body language.  Pulling away=softer  pulling  towards=harder/faster
Listen for changes in breathing or sounds made and you will know when you are getting it right. alot of times a woman will move you towards the right spot, and the right way for them you just have to pay attention..


Then again ... when in doubt just ask.

I don't want to waste my time DATY if I am doing it wrong or they just aren't into it and I let them know up front.  I let them know this is something that while I enjoy it, am mainly doing it for their satisfaction.  I have learned alot by just asking..

my 0.02