TER General Board

Re:A Very Sensitive Topic
G2 6731 reads
posted

You should see a licensed sex therapist, preferably one that works with sex surrogates.  They treat this type of condition frequently and are best equipped to help you.  There are many common causes for this condition, some as simple as pyschological damage resulting from a divorce or bad break-up.  Others, of course, can be more complicated.

My knowledge on this subject is second hand- a few years back I dated a sex therapist, who also worked as a surrogate while earning her degrees.  But I know from our many conversations that these are treatable problems and there's no need to suffer in silence.

States vary in their licensing requirements, but all sex therapists will have a Ph.D. in a related field.  California is one of the few states that also has certified sex surrogates.  They are required to work in conjunction with a sex therapist.   Surrogates, for those who don't know, will have intercourse with a client if it is required as part of a perscribed treatment.  It's not just regular sex, but usually a series of exercises designed to achieve a specific result.  Use of a surrogate recognizes that there are frequently both a psychological and physical components to recovery.  The sex therapist performs counseling and designs a program of treatment, and the surrogate will work with the client as part of that process.  

The exercises with a surrogate can be quite enjoyable, but it shouldn't be confused with other types of sexual encounters- and that is the whole point.  It removes all of the unrelated sexual baggage issues from sex (performance anxiety, physical attraction, sucking in your gut etc.) in order to isolate and treat a problem.  It has the purpose of restoring sexual function, and as such, it is very specific and even regimented in it's approach.  I mention that just so nobody reading this will be tempted to waste a surrogate's time if they are just trying to add a little variety to their sex life.  If that's your objective call an escort, it will be more fun.  But if you are one of the thousands who don't know where to turn for help, by all means seek treatment without hesitation or fear of embarassment.

For those living in a city without access to sex therapy clinics, it is possible to do an "intensive" for clients that travel to a sex therapist's office and  work for a week with perhaps two sessions per day.  This may not be the preferred approach, but sometimes it's the only one available from a practical standpoint.    My friend had clients fly in from other states for treatment.  You'll have to do a little investigating for your locale.  If you'd like to Personal Mail me, I'd be happy to answer any questions to the best of my ability.  

Sorry for all the mods, I can't write today.

-- Modified on 7/23/2001 12:43:06 PM

-- Modified on 7/23/2001 1:16:13 PM

-- Modified on 7/23/2001 3:19:54 PM

OIC8358 reads

Does anyone have any suggestions/advice on what one might do about psychologically induced impotence(ED)?; other than just general counseling?

Viagra doesn't even seem to work.

Thanks.

G26732 reads

You should see a licensed sex therapist, preferably one that works with sex surrogates.  They treat this type of condition frequently and are best equipped to help you.  There are many common causes for this condition, some as simple as pyschological damage resulting from a divorce or bad break-up.  Others, of course, can be more complicated.

My knowledge on this subject is second hand- a few years back I dated a sex therapist, who also worked as a surrogate while earning her degrees.  But I know from our many conversations that these are treatable problems and there's no need to suffer in silence.

States vary in their licensing requirements, but all sex therapists will have a Ph.D. in a related field.  California is one of the few states that also has certified sex surrogates.  They are required to work in conjunction with a sex therapist.   Surrogates, for those who don't know, will have intercourse with a client if it is required as part of a perscribed treatment.  It's not just regular sex, but usually a series of exercises designed to achieve a specific result.  Use of a surrogate recognizes that there are frequently both a psychological and physical components to recovery.  The sex therapist performs counseling and designs a program of treatment, and the surrogate will work with the client as part of that process.  

The exercises with a surrogate can be quite enjoyable, but it shouldn't be confused with other types of sexual encounters- and that is the whole point.  It removes all of the unrelated sexual baggage issues from sex (performance anxiety, physical attraction, sucking in your gut etc.) in order to isolate and treat a problem.  It has the purpose of restoring sexual function, and as such, it is very specific and even regimented in it's approach.  I mention that just so nobody reading this will be tempted to waste a surrogate's time if they are just trying to add a little variety to their sex life.  If that's your objective call an escort, it will be more fun.  But if you are one of the thousands who don't know where to turn for help, by all means seek treatment without hesitation or fear of embarassment.

For those living in a city without access to sex therapy clinics, it is possible to do an "intensive" for clients that travel to a sex therapist's office and  work for a week with perhaps two sessions per day.  This may not be the preferred approach, but sometimes it's the only one available from a practical standpoint.    My friend had clients fly in from other states for treatment.  You'll have to do a little investigating for your locale.  If you'd like to Personal Mail me, I'd be happy to answer any questions to the best of my ability.  

Sorry for all the mods, I can't write today.

-- Modified on 7/23/2001 12:43:06 PM

-- Modified on 7/23/2001 1:16:13 PM

-- Modified on 7/23/2001 3:19:54 PM

I Thoroughly agree with G2. I went through a terrible divorce and thereafter, totally closed myself off to sexuality for fear of  non-performance, and lack of self worth.For  a  VERY long time. Even while  dealing with  a regular therapist , AND  sex therapist, it took a while to regain the  self-esteem  and healing I needed to get back on  track.There are still times when  it "Wont Work Properly"... That  is why its  so important for me, to  deal with a provider that  is understanding and sensitive.  Just my  experience. sharing to help another fellow human being.

NOTDEDYET6444 reads

I understand your sensitivity on this subject. I have a problem myself, but it's not psychological. Are you really sure it's psychologically caused, and that it's really ED?
Just because VIAGRA does not work for you, don't assume it's ED (psychological or otherwise).
  In my case, VIAGRA didn't help much, either. I finally concluded that the real problem is that I am not as sensitive down there as I once was. Put the CONDOM on the less-sensitive organ, and the result is frequent failure. If you can masterbate to climax, that should suggest that what I am describing may just be what is happening in your case.
  I would not suggest that you or anyone have unprotected sex, but if what I suggest is really what's happening in your case, then you might be stuck with less-than -ideal sexual activities. Better than nothing!?!?!?!?

justagirl8351 reads

in addition to therapy how about a woman (not provider) that will offer you love,patience,tenderness, and support in a secure relationship? While sex seems to be important in a relationship,
want women really want is a kind,sensitive,man who will hold them, listen to them and love them.

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