Mods: Can you let this stay on the GD as I would it to get more responses due to more visibility please?
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I just recently found out one is being planned for the Baltimore/DC area and I would like to attend. Can someone tell me about them as I have never been? How long are they? Are they normally held during the week or weekend? What is the usual dress code? How many people usually show and what is the guy/girl typical ratio?
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I appreciate anyones feedback and past experiences either running one or attending! Thanks in advance!

…Invite a buncha people who aren’t in the hobby.

Would be to seek out a gal that has some history of attending M & G's and have her escort you to one she has either been to or certainly feels comfortable being at one....that way she can fill in the blanks.....Also---generally it seems that someone is the person who is putting it together and all of those question could be answered by the organizer !

Unless you are talking about the Phoenix debacle maybe? Enlighten me.

lol yeah that’s just my snark and sarcasm, my snarkasm getting in the way. Yes, a reference to what happened in the PHX area recently. I thought everyone had heard about that.  

 
…don’t do that

I've been to many Meet & Greets in Florida and one in Dallas and one in Atlanta last year. The two singular M&G's were kind of informal. Each attended by about 20 to 30 people in a restaurant where civies were all around us. The one in Atlanta was set up by a long time Provider who is a legend in that city. The vetting was not overly intrusive. Since I had seen a couple of the ladies attending I was easily granted access. In 2012 in Dallas,  I think it was even more informal.

A well-known courtesan and Sex Worker Advocate in Tampa used to host a TER M&G twice a year. One in Tampa, then 6 months later in Orlando. Her parties were incredible! Vetting was very strict. Providers from across the nation would attend. The location wasn't disclosed until the morning of the event. Though she would let you know the area if you needed to get a hotel room for the night.

The day before the event, she would have a networking luncheon for the Providers. There would be a professional photographer, website IT guy and all other things related to enhance their business. And the women would have a forum so they could discuss industry issues.

These were always a PRIVATE event. For women, there was no charge but for the men, $100. Usually attended by up to 100 people there was a good mix of men and women. The catering was fabulous. She would have games.... get to know you type, so you'd have to mingle with other guests and not stay in a clique. Prizes were awarded. Oh, did I mention the open bar? The parties were held at a rented condo or a banquet hall/private dining area in a restaurant.

Of course, no photography was allowed and you weren't supposed to talk business. However, that last directive was hardly followed as many women tried to hit me up for an after-party date. lol

I met many fine women through these events who I may not have dialed up for a date otherwise. I always looked forward to it. Then Covid hit and it shut down during that period. One more attempt at the tail end of the pandemic, I think 2021, but was only attended by 30 people. There were more women than men. It was very sad.

 
To directly answer some of your questions:
Length of time: The two singular parties were done once the dinner was over since they were in restaurants. Though some people continued at the bar or went for a date with a lady. The Florida events were held on Thursdays if I recall correctly and were from 6-10.

Dress code for men was business casual and the women was dress to impress. A couple of times there were theme parties.

I believe what is "normal" for one party may not be "normal" for others. The Florida events took a lot of time, planning and money to put together. So when you ask, "What to expect?" Who knows?

I hope this helps and that your function will be great!

George

-- Modified on 6/15/2026 5:42:39 PM

I enjoyed the snark. First thing that popped in my mind

But the ones I was involved with as a guest and organizer in NY and LV generally included around 100 people, half mongers and half providers. They were usually held in a suite in an upscale hotel and ran between 7 pm and midnight. They were always held on weeknights because it's easier for guys to say they are working late or attending a business dinner. The host provides liquor, soft drinks and finger food. Men were charged $50 to $100 and women got in free. They were loads of fun and I met a lot of great women I later had sessions with. I wish anyone organizing one the best of luck.

It held 100 people? Dang. lol.

so all attendees were never there at the same time. Also, a few of them would disappear into the bathrooms for, um, "recreational activities."

END OF MESSAGE

I'd be interested to attend, but also very concerned there would be unknown pics/videos taken.

I'd love to meet fellow members and providers, but, for those of us on the 'down low', it just seems too risky.

-- Modified on 6/15/2026 6:40:55 PM

I have never been to one, however, I knew one young provider who attended her first one in NYC at a hotel.  She explained it as a dinner party/mixer where the guys met any or of all the ladies in attendance.  They could arrange to meet either after the party ended or at another time.  This girl had her own room she could use for meeting with clients.  Food and drinks were provided and dress was business casual.
Another M & G by a different group of providers was more like a dinner party with a provider swap. The number of guys was limited and smaller than the number of ladies.   Large space with various rooms available for various hookups in various forms, people coming and going from the various rooms  Pun intended!

Such a good point about the visibility. I had been using TER for months before I even found the meet and greet board, since it’s not linked on the main page that shows if you click discussion boards– you have to select it separately from the drop-down.

Regrettably, I missed what was apparently the last annual Chicago Halloween M&G.

I wouldn’t mind a return trip to DC, if I can make a timing work.

I appreciate the time you took to write it and all your experiences so thank you!
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Just a small clarification: this is def not MY event.  (You may not have meant it that way George but I dont want anyone to think I am stealing MZ's thunder here. lol.)
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It is still in the initial planning stages, per Master Zen, who is trying to put this thing together. For those that dont know, MZ has run several VERY successful M&Gs in Philly, and he has a pristine reputation with many providers and gents.

It would be amazing if you could attend! As you know, I have been dying to meet you for some time now.

At every single one did not allow pics and school of thought regarding this infraction was the person would be banned from attending any others.  

And trust me when I say word spread quickly to other M&G Hosts. This is a huge no-no. The guy in Arizona didn't know what the heck he was doing IMO! I posted on that thread btw. I go into more detail there.  

 
Steph XO

Privacy and security are #1.  

 
Invitation only to folks who are vetted and screened, both ladies and gents.

 
Dress would likely be evening/cocktail attire. No black tie.

 
Invited guests will be capped at 60 or 70. I would try for an even ratio of gals:guys, or maybe 60:40.

 
Lite food to be provided, either drink tickets or a short open bar period to start, then shift to cash bar.

 
The guys will have to pay a small entrance fee.  

 
The venue will be private and upscale; I don't want to share space with civvies and I will not host in a Foreign Legion Hall.

 
Comportment is expected to be classy, keep it rated PG (OK, maybe a flash of R here and there).

 
And... absolutely NO photographers!!

 
Timing, say 7pm to 10pm?

 
The venue will not be announced until the day of the event.

 
What more would you want to know?

END OF MESSAGE

No more questions your honor. The prosecution rests but one last thing Zen...the line starts BEHIND me.

Many of the providers are face in. I’m sure none of the clients want to be outed. From my experience attending kink and sex parties, the prohibition on outing fellow attendees is ironclad. Everyone in attendance understands that such events are only possible with the strictest privacy norms.

Hopefully a general area of the venue would be made known ahead of time so travel could be planned.

There was a M&G a few years back in NYC where the host (unbelievably) invited a reporter.  You can only imagine the mayhem that ensued.  The host disappeared and his username has not been seen since.

But in fact the host did not completely disappear and he has posted here on several occasions. He did, however, get out of the M&G hosting business.

The couple of M&Gs I attended way back in the early to mid aughts were strictly vetted; if I recall correctly, information was shared via TER messaging only.  Each event was also private--either a private room in a restaurant/bar or (if you can believe it) a small house that a couple of ladies used as a meeting place.  

WRT avoiding pictures, I've been to events where they require all guests to kindly lock their phones in those signal-blocking phone pouches before entering the event space.

One benefit--I was able to make dates with a couple of ladies I met there without having to go through additional screening. Not sure whether that was a reflection of the times (screening was generally easier back then) or of the ladies' trusting their spider sense once they'd met me.

 
If someone wants to give it a go in LA, I can't take the lead, but would be happy to help.

Discussion makes me miss one of my favorite ladies of all time. She excelled in the type of thing. Went to several gatherings like this that she hosted. Everyone felt safe and welcome and had a great time.  Depending on the area and interest there would be a meet and greet, then a smaller private party later in the night or the next day. Always went off without a hitch. Missing her a lot now.

I seem to remember it as being a while back and the article the reporter published was highly unflattering. I do miss the NYC M&Gs.

 
Steph XO

I really miss the ones in Tampa, and SS and her co-hostess threw parties I really felt sage attending. And STs were epic in S Florida.  

 
Steph XO

I attended one years and years ago in Minneapolis.  it was in a suite in a hotel.  Fair number of ladies, quite a few gents.  Usual cocktail party atmosphere.  A little weird seeing other hobbyists.  I think we had the option of pairing off and spending some time in adjacent rooms.  All in all, I was a little underwhelmed, but glad I did it.

Around that time, there were some other M&Gs in the Twin Cities that got busted.  I don't know that anyone was actually arrested, but local police and media made sure the whole world knew all the hobbyists who'd been there.

As I see it, the problem with M&Gs is that if you're not on the inside planning it, you have no idea how secure it is, how carefully it's been planned, how it's been publicized.  Just think about it for a minute -- If the organizers don't verify everyone, then how do you know LE, the press, or just bad seeds aren't there?  But really, who's going to give up their personal info to go to a party?  So there's a problem there.  Is it in a hotel?  Are people who are not invited going to be passing by?  What if someone gets rowdy?  Oh yes, and "no cameras?"  Come on.

Hopefully the world has gotten more sophisticated, but it strikes me as a situation that a mere guest has little chance to control if anything goes awry.  

If the host is known to you and has a reputation for throwing secure M&Gs. You also know what vetting you've been subjected to, so you know it's almost certainly the same for everyone if the host has been reliable. I attended more than a dozen M&Gs over a period of years in NY and LV, Bond007 ran a bunch of well-regarded gatherings over many years and there was NEVER a problem with any of them. The one exception being the one in NY where the host breached confidence by inviting a reporter. But even then there was no risk of LE. And no one was required to give up private information. You simply had to have a known presence in the mongering community and be vouched for by other reputable mongers.
PS: All the M&Gs in NY were in hotel suites and all except one in LV was. The exception being held in a private residential compound. I never saw any cameras.

Do tell 😉

Thanks for the thread and discussion. M&g’s have been on my mind for a while now. Chicago lost its m&g host last year and I didn’t make it a priority early enough to attend. There’s a part of me that’s curious to step up and see if the shoe fits. So much to think about to make it successful and safe.  I appreciate the knowledge and advice.

I post this every once in while.  It is geared towards hosting a M and G.  Hope it answers some questions.

As many of you know, I used to host the LA M and G's for a few years.  since folks have started talking about hosting, below should give u an idea about what is involved.  Obviously, this is a few years old but things haven't changed that much.  

 
Thought I would give you some kind of idea about what goes into the planning of a M and G.  As some  of you know, I used to host the Los Angeles M and G's.

Venue:  This is always the toughest for me.  I try and find a venue that is affordable, large enough to accomodate 150-200 people, good parkiI've hosted probably 20 parties and they have been anywhere from a large hotel suite to a private club.  Some cities, LV for example, hold large parties in private homes.  I have explored this option myself, but in LA, the cost is prohibitive.  

When:  From what I can gather, most parties are held during the week.  For several reasons such as married guys typically cannot attend on a weekend, venue pricing is always more on a weekend (even later in the week), and generally attendees availability is better during the week than weekend.  The exception is LV which typically has their parties on a weekend.  I have found that Tuesday or Wednesday are the best days.

 
Getting the word out:  Once you have a venue lined up and a date, you need to get the word out that a party is being planned.  I think most of the M and G hosts have a master list of guys and gals who have attended or requested attendance to a prior M and G and/or who have passed screening.  They typically will get an email from me requesting their attendance.  I usually do that 2-3 times.  Also weekly, the event is advertised on the M and G board as well as the city board where the party is taking place.

Screening:  It is done by everyone.  Everybody has their own techniques.  I won't go much into it, but u need to have a process that is dependable and reliable.

Cost: Typically a donation is asked from the gents.  Ladies always get in free.  .  The cost parameters can vary based on the price of the venue, what you are offering (host bar, food, DJ, Parking, Door Prizes, etc).  Sometimes there is an upfront cost required.  That is borne by you the host.

Attendance: Always figure that out of your total attendance list, 50% will attend.  Thats a good rule of thumb.  My last 10 parties i hosted  had an invite list of 200 to 250.   Additionally, always know the capacity of the venue so that you know what your limits are.

Lastly, always explain to your invitees regarding dress code and rules.   Business should never be conducted at a M and G.  If you hear of it, stop it immediately.  This isn't the place for it.

Hope this helps.  Oh, and BTW, there is a ton of stuff that happens in between.  LOL.  U'll find that out once you host

I am very much considering it, given enough interest. Yes.

You have some experience as I recall. It would be good to have  m&g's started up again.

They were held in more club/large bar type places in private rooms. I really enjoyed them and the food was really good. I miss NYC M&Gs.

Steph XO

If the event was private and not at a public bar or something 🤗