About a year ago I was introduced to a lady in her 30's who was looking for a sex buddy, she's quite frankly a much better fit for me than most of the ladies I've met in this business. I see her at least once a week at her house, she's sexually starved because her significant other, BF, whom she's been dating for 5+ years is NOT interested in sex. I told her she needs to donate his brain for scientific purposes. I would rate her a 9 (face/body), a 10 for performance and a 15 for attitude on a 10 point TER scale.

I find myself asking, why the heck I'm still paying to see providers. It's great that I'm not on a time clock, she really likes to fuck, her orgasms I know are real, no fake BS here. She's told me several times, she does not know what she would do, if I were to drop out of her life. Life is good so far, I have someone to fuck regularly without the drama of a "real" relationship.

I would like to pare to the bare bone my list of "regular" providers. What's the best way to go about it? I've seen some of these providers for 4+ years and they sometimes call me and leave messages. So should I just fall off the face of the earth, never to be heard from again?

Texas?  Did you say Texas?.....Yes Please!!!!

for the time being why not tell your regulars that you've put the hobby on the ice for now? North American men seem to have such a hard time to voice the most simple things, beats me.

some providers i have known are pretty drama free and can take a no BS approach. tell them you are dropping out for the time being.

OTOH i know of one or two DQs few who will go all ballistic if you even hint that circumstances in your "real life" require that you cool it. with the DQs it is best to just drop out quietly.

consider your audience. can you tell the difference?

If she is still with him there is a reason.  You Are attached to her now.  Poviders are like the girl that cuts your hair, if you go somewhere else your cheating.  Regulars are the same, do they know you have more than one? If you have good ones just tell them you are out for a while and you will call them if the nead arises. But be ready for some unwanted calls. Back to the fantasy girl Good luck she has got to trade up to you or what happens if you get caught?

On your paid dates you end up with such drama?! Isn't it the whole goal of the game: you pay so you get no drama no problems?? I must be from another planet. I would never allow myself any jealousy feelings towards clients because they see my friend Betsy nor would I accept this bs if I was a dude buying a provider's services. Sometimes yall just have to put your foot down and say enough is enough... or maybe not.

and your in Canada

I'm international sweety I do have a passport and I use it extensively... even to go to Texas!

Next time I go in that direction I'll make it straight out to Alberqu... can't spell it, sorry I'm French.

Agreed. I would never give this kind of thing a second thought, but then I don't really have "regulars" as such anyway. There are certainly those with whom I like to repeat but none I feel beholden to.

If I don't beat you going out East....

It's all good. I told you the French I know and you didn't trip!

If this is your biggest problem I want you to pick all my future lottery tickets.
Tell me this isn’t truly wracking your brain, please. As “problems“ go, this falls into the “delicious problems” category.

Not picking a fight, not flaming. We all deal with shit in our own ways. Me? I prefer feast to famine.

And Cleo... you, my love, are firecracker!

But my congratulations to you for stepping into some of the sweetest smelling doo-doo I've ever heard of.  You must have some karma.

As for how to tell providers you are going to stop seeing them, first of all, you have no moral or other obligation to have to say anything.  That's just one of the rules of the game.  I've seen some providers for years and then one day they don't take my calls or emails and that's that.

If, however, you do feel the need to say something, then keep it very short and sweet with no explanations or apologizies.

Something like:  "I've had a wonderful time at our sessions but circumstances require that I not see you for the time being."

Now, they will know at least that you didn't get hit by a bus or some similar circumstance.

This is, after all, a business and a fantasy; it is not a real life relationship as we have with our SOs and families.

I hope your affair lasts forever.  You ought to think about keeping a diary of it.  It could make quite a study.

-- Modified on 12/22/2010 5:10:57 AM

have met a lot of great Ladies and I don't know anyone who would object to you seeing someone else or moving on. Its the nature of the business.If you are dealing with someone who is so possesive, you are seeing the wrong ppl.
I have though met many drama kings stalker type clients whom I wish I had never met.
There are crazy ppl everywhere this business is no acception.
I wonder if you are running into a lot of Ladies who are drama filled, you must be attracted to that type. Its not the norm. Change what it is you look for in a Companion and you may avoid this situation all together. This can be a very drama free playground! Its all in who your playmates are.
if you want to stop seeing someone, just stop calling her. There is no reason she should assume callingyou is ok. Unless you allowed that and set it up that way to begin with. Now to break that habit just don't answer the phone.
If you have a hobby phone, change your number or drop it all together. Drama can only exist in this rhelm where you allow it.


-- Modified on 12/22/2010 5:26:56 AM

Means I'm highly energetic? Only when I don't take my Ritalin.

And the talks you and I have had, it is something that comes natural. Not a damn thing wrong with that!

Little Phil himself earlier, in a different vein, it was getting stale, so you and a few others came along and brightened it up.

Thank you!

If there's any objection to this sort of blatant kiss-ass deal on my part, all anyone has to to do is look up their histories as of late on the boards as to their participation, and the one's that respond to their posts.

Not all of us are joungalt's and mrfisher's, but you can certainly look up the past posting history of these ladies that have enriched our experiences here as of late?

Come on! I fucking dare ya!...

Yeah, I know. It's infantile. But so is my sense of humor! lol!!!!

I'm speechless... that's very nice of you. Now I have very high standards to live up. The only part I don't like as much is: "you love her even when she fucks you over" in my early 20's ok but I've been done fucking anyone over for more than a decade I promise

...but if she decides to dump her BF then I'd say train wreck city here it comes. The way I see it,  her sexual needs are being met, her BF assists with the finances. They live in HER house. So I would call it a parasitic relationship all around and everyone is happy until someone gets caught.

FWIW......Some providers get very jealous, if a regular clients sees someone else. It's happened to me.

This is a joke or an attempt to get some discussions going over a completely contrived story, right? This lady has a great sex life with you but stays with a sexually indifferent bf she has been with over 5 yrs? LOL! Really?! You still pay providers even though you have this wonderful "sexually starved" woman who is a 9, a 10 and a 15?

Yeah, OK.

Re: If I don't beat you going out East....

It's only a guess, but I bet the only French Mikey knows does not involve the spoken language!

...back in the old Black Socks days of porn there was a guy whose stage name was A. Pismo Clam.

Ditto.  It's relatively early in my return to "the sport we love," but I've yet to meet a girl who's got any illusions about my seeing others.  Or the fact that, for starters, I'm married to someone I actually love.  I'm sure there are jealous whack-o's out there, like there are in any walk of life but I've never met one, even back in my earlier days of play.  There were a couple who wanted involvement outside the hobby (though it wasn't called that back then) but they didn't get jealous about it.

I have not been hobbying for almost three years because of a new friend with benefits turned lover extra-ordinaire.  I am almost 70 so my drive is less than it was, but we still see each other regularly and the love making gets better and better and this has replaced the considerable pleasure I found in the charming and wonderful professional ladies I have met.  i don't know how long this will last but it has lasted for almost three years. I also stopped seeing a number of regular friends with benefits as well.  

It is not that I have lost interest in seeing others but this lady is very jealous and I don't want to lie to her so just as I am ready to see one of my old friends or one of the professional ladies who seem so appealing, I back off.

You think this is gona be less drama than seeing providers? You are seeing a woman that's in a relationship but who has told you "she does not know what she would do, if I were to drop out of her life"

Less drama, I've got two words for ya...........TRAIN WRECK!!!!!!

You said it cleo!

You may be right that it's not a train wreck yet but it has so much potential to become one. You said "it's only about sex for both of us" You may know for sure it's only about sex to you but you can't be sure what it is for her, either now or better yet what it may be for her in the future!

There are so many ways this could become a train wreck! I mean she could become attached, she could dump her BF who "assists with the finances", BF could find out and leave or create tons of drama for you and/or her.

Everyone know the old saying Hindsight to 20/20, well it's foresight that keeps us from saying that over and over again! Although the train wreck has yet to occur, it appears to me that they are on the same track headed towards one another.

Good luck and I hope the collision is avoided

You're 70 and still manage to be that busy in finding friends with benefits don't stop!