over the years, on those rare occasions when i am dating a women they would  ask me "what are you thinking?" when i was silent for a few moments. no matter what i say in response they never seemed satified.

now i am in a friends with benefits relationship and she used to ask me the same thing until one day i think i found the correct answer to this question.

her: "what are you thinking?"

me: "i was just wondering what you were thinking"

her: silence

That it wasn't such a smoking hot idea to order a steak hoagie with banana peppers and put Tabasco on it.

Oy vey!

She'll never get an answer she likes. NEVER ask that unless you're looking for trouble. Correct me if I'm wrong. Men's minds work in the here and now, kinda like a void compared to a woman's. She's thinking about all kinds of contingencies and details about their relationship. He's thinking about what he wants to eat.

to check-in and emotionally connect with you.  Squeeze her hand and tell her about your day.  

FYI... we need emotional and physical intimacy.

we have a difference of opinion on this one. I think that's a question used to dig for information on the relationship. You see it more innocently. If she just wanted to connect, a more likely question would be, "How was your day?" To me, this reeks of trouble to come. I think the friend with benefits wants something from the relationship she's not getting at this time.

I kinda agree w/ Swings. It could be an innocent way to get a little emotional affection. But, depends on her personality and her expectations. If she's clingy, she may indeed be trying to find a way to really see what you're thinking and, where your relationship is headed. If thats the case, you should make sure you're clear about you only wanting friends w benefits nothing more. If you don't, its going to get weird lol

OP said she was silent when he responded, "I was wondering what you are thinking." That says to me she didn't get the answer she was looking for. If she simple wanted emotional affection, she would have ran with that. It's a great opening for a conversation. I think the clues here point to a different motivation.

I have had it happen to me in a dating boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
It usually means she has some concerns or discomfort about the relationship and she wants some reassurance that things are OK.

But if you are honest about your feelings about the relationship she probably will be pissed and if you tell her what you think she wants to hear she probably wont believe you.

(That is if you really want into her pants, and all that.)

"I was just thinking how much fun it would be to spend tomorrow rearranging the furniture with you a few different ways and to see how it looks each way."

"You know you've found someone special when you can just shut the fk up." I never ask a guy what he is thinking, because it's a place I don't want to be lol. I would imagine running around in a guy's head for a day, would be like bad porn playing over and over bwahahaha.

What are you talking about?

You'd NEVER stop slapping us

Cause you can't STFU.

I have never really had a woman ask me this question. Not unless I opened the door to it with some sort of leading sound or grunt that made her curious. I suppose those that know me wouldn't be surprised though, I tend to share often and easily so the women in my life have probably not often been left wondering.

Yes, those comfortable silences Ms. Rayne.

Wait till tomorrow morning after that first cup if coffee lol

MM

Feeding butter cookies to someone

Yummy! I love a good soft cookie

MM

This weekend, I was driving with my wife and kids home from the Renaissance Festival. It was quiet and we were just listening to the radio. For some reason I started to think to myself how odd it was that almost the second I turned 35 I suddenly started having a slightly harder time... well, getting spontaneously hard. I still can without any real trouble once there is a little attention given but it used to be that the very thought of a chance of anything would take care of that. Then I started to think about viagra, and not so much about taking it, I don't think i need to, but the biological effect it has of opening up certain types of blood vessels, and that brought me to wonder what it was about turning 35 that had some sort of effect on those blood vessels. This of course caused me to start to think about my favorite provider and how she certainly knows how to make me stand at attention and brought a quick acknowledgment that my wife is no where near as proficient at that.  I then I turned to my wife and thinking of this thread I said to her, Honey? You know it is a good thing you don't usually have the desire to ask me what I am thinking. I then faced forward and continued listening to the song on the radio.

all I am wanting is to emotionally check-in with my partner.  Nothing more sinister than that.  

And I DO like to hear about his day.  It makes me feel connected and as though I am important to his life.

I am beginning to think I am wayyy to easy on men.  Talk to me, cuddle me and fuck me.

it was really sweet.  He would probably get a bbbjwcim for being so thoughtful.  But hey, I believe in positive reinforcment!

how nice you looked in the shoes you tried on yesterday.  Here's my credit-card - you should go back and buy them.

Read your post, you make it sound as if every relationship you have is an equal one.

How could that be emotionaly healthy, do you love everyone you fuck?

I haven't had relationships with everyone I've had sex with.  There have only been a handful of people I cared enough about to even ask the question.

there were only a few real answers to this post. but after 29 years of marriage the right answer is something nice about her. I say, " you Baby" that gives me a few sec to add something we did or, want to do and make her day better. IMO