No free babies from pro father.
To their parents by a hobbyist or provider?
I grew close enough to a hobbyist to leave my phone out while sleeping and he knew my actual name and apparently he must have written the number of my mother down and after having a fall out he actually had the nerve to tattle on me! This included my provider name, site and handle on ter.
I'm wondering if hobbyists have had this done to them as well...
That is crazy!!!! I don't care if he was mad, why go that route??!!
... I don't give my full real name to any provider, unless I get to know them well and trust them AND I also know their real name (the M.A.D. principle).
That was a despicable thing he did to you. It's a great lesson though for both providers and hobbyists to be very very careful, and not just with cell phones. For example, a provider I know had her real name, first initial and last name, on the mailbox at the front door of her incall. I already knew her full name, but it's an uncommon last name and it took less than a minute to get to all kinds of info about her real identity online. I told her and she changed her mailbox.
Only 2 people have my real full name. One has a SD arrangement weekly and pays my credit card through his business to hide the money. The other I have known for a decade and trusted him to overnight money to my address when the banks were closed for snow and the ATM withdrawal was higher than his daily limit.
I keep 2 separate phones with each identity on the correct phone. Purse and key cards are put away that have personal information. I have only let a couple of gents walk me to my car.
This sounds like someone you trusted at some point and when the arrangement came to an end; he didn't part ways with peace and grateful for the time you shared. He chose to cause you pain. And that is disturbing to me, because we are in the business to create pleasure.
So sorry. I hope you can fix your family nightmare.
Maddie
One of the providers has bounced back in great shape. The other is working on it. Both amazing, positive women that I am in awe of.
Two of the mongers ended up in divorce and losing almost everything.
The 3rd is me. My parents found out back in 1980 when I was a bouncer in a brothel in Sydney.
My son and my Dad were told 2 years ago that I was seeing hookers. I showed them a photo of one....... they both said "Good enough!" and walked off.
I took an ex hooker GF on a trip to CA several years back and one of our first stops was to see my mother. I made no secret of how we met. They still FB each other from time to time. As for my father, back in the late 70's early 80's we used to hang out a lot in LV and that included places like the Chateau Vegas where hookers were always hanging out, it was rare that my dad would take home a hooker, much less rare for me. lol
I am honestly just too lazy to lie about things like fucking hookers, and I quite honestly don't care enough about how other people are going to feel about it to bother hiding this part of my life.
I’ve seen two Providers thus far and /both/ have told me their real names (and I know where one lives because that’s her in-call). Both became comfortable with me and began to trust me; I just seem to have the kind of personality that puts people at ease.
But... even if we had a falling out, I would NEVER do that to them; both of these ladies have kids, one has a full-time job and both already have a full plate of real-life crap to deal with. I only wish I could do more for them then just tender money for their time.
It takes a special kind of scum to try and torpedo someone’s life just because things didn’t turn out like they wanted.
...both men and women
An ex outed me several years ago to ‘our’ civvie friends
He did it purely out of spite and jealousy (I was taking a break at the time and had been dating someone)
I don’t mind admitting I was shitting myself - mostly about the possibility of them cutting me out of their lives and being completely isolated. I think overall the general consensus was that they liked me more than they disliked what I did (I really appreciated their honesty)
He was pushed back to the outer periphery of the circle whilst I was pulled in a little further - it backfired on him. To them, it was totally unacceptable to take revenge and expose me like that. Several years on and I’m now back in the U.K. (this happened in the US) and they still don’t have much to say to him but they are all still in touch with me. Truly great friends 😄 xx
Yeah; they sound like good, decent people.
I’m glad to hear the situation turned out like it did; while I don’t know if I believe in something as esoteric as karma, I do find great satisfaction in people being bitten by their own petty, mean-spirited actions.
Cheers!
Bad karma is a bitch, I`ve seen it. Hope and pray none of us ever experience it. You`ll believe real quick if you do.
... when my first wife caught me cheating she downloaded my emails and showed them to everyone she could.
-- Modified on 1/25/2018 8:03:39 PM
That is one of the crappiest things I've ever heard of. What an ass. A provider i was communicating with
bought a new cell phone & forgot to erase her real name so it showed up when she texted me. I quickly
informed her of her error. I don't need to know your real name.
Many years ago a hobbyist had a hidden video recorder & taped me. I found out he was doing bbfs with many ladies (he admitted it to me & via his reviews) and stopped seeing him. He later froze a frame at the end of our time, before I could straighten up & went to the trouble of photoshopping white flecks all over my face,,,, and posted it on Usa. He got banned from every site possible. Very obvious it was a hidden camera. Anyways, I was temporarily outed in the sense that I hadn't shown my face at that time. Guys are stupid, they seem to not think of the fact that we remember what their bedrooms look like. Pfffft. It was only up for a day.
About 3 years ago I accidentally left some stuff out & my Mom saw it. I outed myself. She has a huge mouth and told almost everyone in my family. Anyways there was no backlash on that at all. My family & friends support me & act like it is a normal job. My brother found out on his own a year ago & he was mad I had lied about what I did but I chewed him out about it not being his business & we are alright again.
I still do not let others know my personal information, whether clients or other providers I hang with. I don't have anything to lose but I am not down with anyone thinking they could get at me in that sort of way.
Funny thing is, most people I know in RL, they only know my first name anyways. Even people I date. Takes me awhile to open up & there really is no reason to know my full information anyways. Some do, but most do not. People can be great one minute & BSC the next.
*** Sorry that happened to you. Hope things worked out ok.
> While we are on this topic, I just want to throw it out there that even if you are a provider, it's not just the guys that you have to worry about outing you... I have noticed over the past year quite a number of ladies outing each other, especially on SM. I have also heard of guys outing other guys. It is crazy. Always be careful. I am glad that my friends do not do stuff like that. Know what I find interesting in all of that? Why guys & other gals would want to be friends with or see a gal who outs others. Kind of logical that you could be next.
It sucks,
Hope you are doing well other than that sweetheart.
Providers, mongers, nuns, preachers, everyone and anyone.... it's just difficult to really know anyone.
I fear things will be even more challenging for future generations. So many people now have their whole lives wrapped up in some social media, blog, message board etc... they have forgotten or never learned how to have a real life relationship. People will say and do anything hiding behind a keyboard or a cell phone that they would never have the balls to do in person.
I have two kids in middle school, both have been bullied for various reasons.... I wanted to go drag the kids father's out on the front lawn and beat them for raising a shitty kid, but instead I taught my kids how to handle the bully.
Off my soapbox now, I'm sorry that happened to anyone, it sucks when someone betrays your trust
martial arts are wonderful to teach children how to walk away with dignity. But can defend themselves if backed in a corner.
I see Saturday courses in my area sometimes that teach basic self defense. Martial arts is the way to go if their schedules permit the time.
My kids play basketball year round.... both teams finished top 10 in AAU nationals last year. They don't have time to add martial arts..... but you are absolutely correct about that being a good source. Unfortunately both times it was a cheerleader trying to exert her popularity.... my kids laughed it off and moved on.... I'm probably the only one that got pissed about it and that's what we really need, grown men wrapped up in middle school drama lol. Thanks for the tip
working out of their apartments.
When you ring their buzzer, there's their RL name.
I wonder if that ever occurred to them.
Big city environment here. I see this frequently. You arrive at the incall, and the real name is on the buzzer (particularly the digital displays - you enter in the code, and the name pops up for a sec. or so).
Ladies - heads up and be safe.
A friend of mine would give her visitors the code to punch in at the door; it didn't show her name. But you could go through that digital directory, searching by code, and thus find her real name. It was only a minority of people who did this, but I personally feel it's crossing a line to deliberately snoop like that.
On a similar note: I used to keep an apartment strictly for incall.
My landlord was one of my besties who knew what I was up to there; because I didn't receive any bills or mail there, HER name was on the mailbox downstairs. When being buzzed in, the stairway was directly in front, with the mailboxes around the corner and behind that staircase. They weren't in plain sight so you'd have to go looking for them and then the unit number, with the name underneath in small print. I cannot tell you how many guys would detour to check that out prior to coming upstairs and then (with a smirk) call me by the name they'd found there.
I found this offensive, to say the least. Doing that is not funny and certainly not okay.
Those guys are trying to show how clever they are, and instead are revealing how stupid they are.
Lots of providers use their real name as the name of their WiFi network.
Being married - I am not interested in anyone's real names but I just found it curious when the provider just says - "Go ahead and jump on my WiFi the password is XXXX (that is if they can still talk after the pleasure I've provided them)...
That exact situation happened with me.... my girlfriend (the provider) then Facebook messaged friends and family..... I responded by leaving her alone and visiting the providers I never knew about till I saw my girlfriends reviews.... like I said before people are shitty
I have looked at pictures on your websites.... if it looks good to me and I'm considering booking I will right click the picture and check details.... this will tell me when the picture was taken, is it a really old selfie?....it also gives the address where the pic was taken, I don't really care about that however if you took it in your backyard you might not want to advertise where you live. Always crop your pictures before posting, that removes all other details except the date it was cropped
from 2 providers. they took a little time off, changed hobby names, got new phones, redid websites, etc... to maintain plausible denial for the family. The funny thing is, they were both still very open to me about their real names. I've had providers give real names, their civvie job, and email addresses after just one hook-up. I must seem very trustworthy.
What several of them have told me is that it's not because I am so "trustworthy" it's because they know I care so little that I will forget everything they told me five minutes later anyhow. lol
I honestly don't know what the fascination of "discovering" a providers real information. What's in a name anyhow? I call people pretty much what ever they want to be called. If your name is Steve, but you want me to call you Frank, fine by me. The same with hookers, whatever they want to be called is just fine by me.
friend of mine saw a client who was in his 20's. Somehow this client's mother was friends with her mother and he knew this. He outed her to his mother who in turn told her mother. was not a nice thing to do.
It was almost 2yrs after we broke up amicably...he jumped the gun responding to a situation that was entirely manufactured by the woman he was cheating on his live-in girlfriend with. She didn’t know he had a girlfriend, got suspicious of him and followed him home from her place one night. Saw his girlfriend leave for work in the morning and crafted a plan to ruin his relationship. She got the girlfriend’s number from his phone and found two year old pics/videos of our sexscapades in his iCloud and sent them to herself. She then waited for him to go home and sent the pics/videos to the girlfriend at 2am using an app to disguise her number.
He woke up to his girlfriend screaming in his face accusing him of still seeing me. Rather than take a minute to think it through (there was no way I could have sent them since I didn’t even know the girlfriend’s first name...let alone her phone number).
He impetuously took screenshots of my website, advertisements, reviews, and really inappropriate x rated twitter posts of me smiling looking directly into the camera displaying beautiful facials/pearl necklaces etc. and sent the screenshots to every family member of mine he had on his friends list.
Silver lining...a weight off my shoulders and no more secrets and lies!
To their parents by a hobbyist or provider?
I grew close enough to a hobbyist to leave my phone out while sleeping and he knew my actual name and apparently he must have written the number of my mother down and after having a fall out he actually had the nerve to tattle on me! This included my provider name, site and handle on ter.
I'm wondering if hobbyists have had this done to them as well...
It adds a completely new dynamic when a provider has a jealous boyfriend that does not know she is providing...
When something happens and he gets ahold of her database - literally anything can happen as he tries to destroy her business...
I have never kept what I do for a living from my boyfriends...he knew what I did and we had a beautiful relationship until it ended...and he has since apologized profusely for running off half cocked and actually thinking for a second that I would do something like that to him. We are good now...and the silver lining is, although my family and I don’t talk about it, they know now and I don’t have to carry the weight of those secrets on my shoulders anymore.
So Giselle...just know that The only person who needs to be okay with what you do...is you.
It adds a completely new dynamic when a provider has a jealous boyfriend that does not know she is providing...
When something happens and he gets ahold of her database - literally anything can happen as he tries to destroy her business...
I have been given real names by two providers, and one by accident (social media is pretty dangerous. She came up as a potential 'friend' and she hadn't locked down her information. If there was an upside, she was truthful about her life, family, sisters, etc. In all cases, promptly forgot the information. The one on social media had a difficult real name to remember anyways.
Don't need to know, don't want to know, never ask a provider what her real name is because I don't care. Likewise, I would want the same courtesy by the provider.
Women get bent out of shape when I say we're paying you to leave - its not that you're an object, I want the safety of protecting my identity. I don't need a stalker or a girl going BSC and destroying my property or my life.
Problem for providers is they have to create the illusion of a connection/chemistry in addition to sex - which leads to problems, not necessarily of their own making but guys who want to get more intimate in reality, than the provided illusion.
Shouldn't have happened to you, and maybe a positive outcome is other women will gain some insights from your horrible experience with a bad client.
Assuming you have a smart phone (I-Phone or Samsung) I am curious how he was able to find this information.? It would be impossible for anyone to find my info from my last 3 phones without unlocking my Paasword. ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to make a phone call, send emails, check settings without accessing my 4 digit password.
You don't know, for example, how long her timer is for the phone to stay-on. Mine was annoyingly quick so I changed it to two minutes. If she just checked a message, went into the bathroom, he could just tap the screen and its good for another two minutes, or five minutes, or whatever she had it set. So it would have been 'unlocked'.
Maybe she had music playing on it, and it kept the phone unlocked and 'on'.
Those are just a couple I can think of, I'm sure there are others - phones are quirky.
Assuming you have a smart phone (I-Phone or Samsung) I am curious how he was able to find this information.? It would be impossible for anyone to find my info from my last 3 phones without unlocking my Paasword. ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to make a phone call, send emails, check settings without accessing my 4 digit password.
But she stated it happened while she was asleep. Stands to reason that it would have timed out in a few minutes; not hours!
Ah, breezed through the post. Didn't catch that.
But she stated it happened while she was asleep. Stands to reason that it would have timed out in a few minutes; not hours!
Not all smart phones had/have password/fingerprint protection. Or it isn't always enabled.
I was stupid and told him the password because I was tipsy and thought it was a funny one. It was "poop'. Hilarious, right? Not so hilarious now though. I have a new burner with a really complicated password that I will never tell. I'm probably going to be one of those people that never let's their phone out of their sight...
I often get suggestions on Facebook for providers I communicated with via E mail (as themselves). It happened with a NY provider who is a fitness model that has a real life page dedicated to her legitimate modeling business with her real name and civvy friends and contacts.
It happened again with a local provider in my city. The worst part about it, is because of miscommunication between the assistant, the provider and me, I never saw the fitness model. I never saw the other provider either. I simply inquired about her availability and wardrobe in an E mail once. I even saw a girl I was with in a supermarket once. She was with her boyfriend who was happily buying beer for the football game that Sunday. We saw each other and knew immediately that we recognize one another but I just went one way and she went the other no big deal.
I’m not a stalker or a creeper, so I have absolutely no interest in knowing anything about the women I see beyond her profession. I want what I want and beyond that, thank you for being you and have a great day. I think you have to bee pretty tech savvy to hide your online tracks, and I don’t think the majority of people who have social media accounts, e mail addresses, phone numbers on personal profiles etc know how to keep the dots from being connected in cyberspace. That includes me.
I take some simple steps to be anonymous, but I’m sure any provider could figure out who I was if they’re screening process was thourough enough.
I’ve also received Recommended Friend suggestions for a Massage Provider. So if I’m know viewing her family FB page, safe to assume she’s viewing mine (along with unknown numbers of FB employees and the NSA!)
A few years ago some guy posted that he'd look up providers on Facebook to make sure they were not "butterfaces." Some thought it was wrong. I thought it was a great idea. I ended up seeing some girls because I liked their facial looks.
I don't care about their real names, relatives or whatever but I love to run them through a database to see how badly they are lying about their age.
Being a nice guy I won't print anything I've found.
Some tags placed on suitcases at check-in before departure show the traveler's real name and home address. Discarded into a bathroom wastebasket, they could catch the eye of a curious monger freshening up.
This is a prime way that burglars learn when people are not at home, so that they can plot a break-in.
Just have your cell phone number so that if the bag is lost, they can call you.
If your car gets stolen the guy can hit the home key for your GPS, open garage door, pull in, close garage door and he knows you won't be home for a while... valet is famous for that shit.... always make your home on GPS near your home but not exactly your home
This is awful and so upsetting. I'm very sorry to hear that somebody violated your privacy. Absolutely unacceptable!
I was a single Army officer stationed in Korea. Had a long term relationship with a Provider A. Another officer (West Pointer)fell in love with Provider B and was on track to ruin his career chances and marry her. I was in a group of Lieutenants that attempted a drunken “Guy Code” intervention, said some mean things to B in the process.
I left Korea, returned to States, met a nice Korean girl here. Provider A married a helicopter pilot, they got married, and Holy Shit the Army sends them to same base I was stationed at. They meet at Korean church. Get pregnant at same time. Become BFFs. A & myself of course never acknowledge we knew each other beforehand. Two years later the Army moves us to Oklahoma. Walk into a new church and lo and behold guess who is there. Provider B and West Point hubby (who’s career chances were ruined by senior officers after he married a “club girl”.). Provider B gives me death stare. I try to convince wife there’s other churches we should check out. No luck. B and Wife become friends. B tells wife about how tight A and I were, with spice! The best had to be “so I heard you and A were planning on getting married”.
I slept on the couch for weeks. Karma is a bitch.
or at least a sit-com that Larry David would be interested in.
Being a church goer can have its complications.
yep..it is called "Much ado about Nothing"
or at least a sit-com that Larry David would be interested in.
Being a church goer can have its complications.
Giselle,
If your Mom continues to give you a hard time, send her a blank card explaining why you became a "working girl" in the first place. We all have our reasons on why we do it or the men who enjoy us.
Please be careful, regardless.
Hence I NEVER EVER provide my last name! Only twice has this stopped me from seeing a TER lady. I remember one time 2-3 years ago: she said she has “to know my name.” I said, “what exactly is my name gonna tell you? OK, my name is John Smith - and John Smith is on my drivers license- how does this help you?” Also, I said “OK, I’ll show you my name if you show me yours...”
We didn’t meet.
Hell, I had an ATF who I saw 75 times over a two year period - she never knew my full name and vice versa
I have 10-12 WhiteListings and I can provide references.
My $.02
Tony (who is anxious to see you 🙂 )
I've had a few gals real life information & most of them have mine. One I had a serious falling out with... of course I think I'm the agrieved party... but there's no way I'd ever out any of them. It's just wrong.
The bad KARMA isn't worth it.
When my ex husband and I were parting ways he told my family and a lot of my friends what I do. I do not discuss it with my family, but I have talked about it to some of my friends. Most really don't care, they just are more concerned that I am safe. I do in call in my home (I have for years now) and many of my clients know my real name. It really does not bother me. It is what it is.
The family member replied, "You can't have a whore without a whoremonger."
Then I was lectured because I wasn't being careful enough, and by giving my real information to a client who "seems" trustworthy, I am putting the family in danger. (Though my family is pretty tight and tough.)
You know, this is a great reminder. While the response was kind of funny, I realized it was pretty selfish and / or careless of me to have exposed myself enough to also expose my family to it. It only takes one.
It also exposes the family/friends/personal civvy relationships to harrassment, which is never fun.
So that was my lecture, but they did jump down the guy's throat for harrassing them about my sex life. Gross.
I have had all kinds of situations, there are people who do not understand respect and have no common sense. People who have had to threaten to make a complaint, including someone who showed my advertising on the Internet to my boss (I worked as a receptionist and outside of that schedule as an escort). The best thing is to avoid problems do not give too much information and not leave at hand or phone, or documentation where an unbalanced person can get the opportunity to hurt you and your family.
Just had a crazy vendetta thing myself.
Had seen a FBSM person three times. All went great.
A little too talkative but very comfortable each side.
The last time I saw her she wanted to move the appointment from 5 to 4. No problem.
Then it was 4 to 3. Okay
Then it was "oh hell, come now. I'm done for the day"
I hadn't hit the bank yet so I asked if she still took credit cards.
Hadn't used one but she offered the previous session.
Make a long story short her Square didn't work. After about five tries I gave her a platinum card I NEVER use for hobbying.
That didn't work. Clearly her Square wasn't working.
She went ballistic.
Accused me of cheating her, threatened me....not wise to threaten a former Green Beret and former cop...but I kept my cool.
Then it was I'm following you to the ATM, you mother f'er.
At this point I'm still just trying to pay her.
Finally it was "can't find my keys. I'll ride with you"
By then there was no way in hell she was getting in my car.
She must have called and texted my hobby phone 25 times that night.
Being a good guy I'm mailing her a money order.
Never want to see that face again.
But bottom line was no reason for any of it.
I asked in advance, offered other cards, tried to do the right thing.
She claimed to blacklist me everywhere.
That I couldn't care less about.
But off the rail nuts for no reason at all.
Glad I have a hobby phone
Been there done that and yes it ruined my life. I hope u find peace and work through this. This is why I use a separate place for incall that is not directly related to me or use my phone. Everything is separate! It's like living a double life. This life and real life. And they don't cross at all. If u need someone to talk to...
These are some crazy stories. I've not been in the hobby long, but stories like these are why I don't plan on giving out real life information. Know multiple guys that got divorced from the Ashley Madison hack. Had a guy at work get fired by getting verified through his work email. All of our emails are inspected by our crazy HR and IT departments. Big company and not sure how they have the time or even want to do this. Not sure what the email included but he was the talk of the office for a few weeks. This happened the same week that that College coach got let go for calling an escort service from his work phone.
And for her to know my real name... BUT I would NEVER abuse that.. I have followed a few providers via their real name on Facebook or Twitter after they have left the biz.. Just to see how they are.. BUT I would never "friend" them.. as I don't want hem to go nuts..
One very popular provider left.. Now I see her pics on FB with her infant... another , kept hitting me up for a loan so I finally, after struggling with saying no.. just blocked her.. I wanted to help, but she was taking advantage.
My GF used to be a provider and was outed by her baby daddy.. her face was shown in her pics and that stuff lives forever.. It really hurt her in the custody fight.. I caution providers to not show their face..
So, outing is a pretty intrusive and violent act.. pretty scary.. I'm always astounded when a girl tells me her real name..
@Exit9 and anyone else:
Do you think that clients should ever give their names to providers for verification?
I've had a bunch of quality gents tell me they would NEVER give that info, and it does seem kind of dangerous for services or providers to ask for ID and real names and phone numbers, etc.
I mean that info gets hacked all the time, and could destroy the lives of providers and clients.
I understand providers wanting to be safe, and I want them to be, but name exchanging seems like it is not in either sides interest. Of course, it is every provider's right to determine what they want.
Thoughts? Have people never given out their real names?
Hmmm.... How do you get screened? There is not much someone could do with your name. How would someone go about ruining you if they don't know your wife's name or where you work? Even if they knew where you banked it would be impossible to steal your identity with just your name. Unless all of that information about you is public there is no way you would be unsafe by just giving your name.
Yes, screening is the issue here. It's easy for me to think that it isn't necessary, because I always treat women great and would never push or force anyone to do anything, but I'm sure that many women on TER have met with situations where they were in danger, scared, or even far worse.
I just can't help but think that handing over your license or work info to someone who keeps their name secret is an odd situation. Perhaps it's just another example of some bad eggs ruining things for all of us.
Provider safety is obviously #1 essential.
Not by a provider or hobbyist. Its crazy how it happened actually....
One of my brother's Facebook friends recognized me in one of my website photos because my brother constantly posts pics of me on Facebook. He outed me to my brother and my brother told my parents. I asked my parents to respect me as an adult making decisions that I believe are in my best interest and if I ever needed them I would ask for help. They agreed.
I have taken measures to protect myself from being outed professionally because I don't think I could recover if that ever happened. I still need to be on alert though. I almost ran right into my project lead at a popular hotel bar when I was meeting a date. Thank God I saw them first then my date and I decided to take our drinks to the other side of the bar. It was my fault though, I completely forgot that my project lead told me that they were staying at that hotel.
Thanks for sharing. I'm sure there are some really good Provider stories about almost running into someone that would cause big trouble.
I would never do that to a provider. I had a falling out with my 1st girl when I entered the hobby. We spent a lot of time together for over a year, and I do know all her personal info....and it will die with me. I don't give a shit what she did to me....thats below the belt!
It's not as if anyone would care or notice if I was