If a snooping wife finds that her husband withdrew a bunch of money from the ATM on the day she left town for a few hours, what does he say to cover?  How do hobbyists get around this problem ahead of time?
Any advice appreciated.  

It went great by the way.

you might try some of these gems I think my friend uses with his wife. His wife's not the sharpest tool in the shed, though:

I went out with the boys to watch the game at a bar. I picked up the tab.

I had a hot tip on the game and thought I'd put money on it, but I lost.

I lost a bit in poker with the boys.

I went golfing with the fellas and bought some drinks later.

We now sponsor an orphan child in the Sudan. We get the picture and welcome packet soon. (Then just cruise the net for a pic to use.)

However, just don't be stupid like my friend and let her catch you. That wasn't a pretty scene, from what I've heard...

Katie

Don't take it out all at once. Think ahead.

I would suggest telling her that she is just not doing it for you anymore after gaining weight after the wedding and then cutting off the blowjobs once she has the ring on. Be up front and tell her that you are fornicating with prostitutes and I hope you have a prenuptial agreement for the divorce.

Are there any restrictions on prenups?  Is it possible that there are laws which trump prenups that entitle a wife who has been cheated on to get half her husband's assets?

the thicker the bullshit, the more it stinks

I'm self employed now and the wife has no access to my separate business account but before that I was very careful not to withdraw large sums of money at any given time. I established a pattern of ATM withdrawals and socked-away a percentage toward appointments or strip club visits.  

If you want to run around screwing other women behind your SO's back you had better learn how to plan ahead. it's just that simple.  The excitement of having sex with a beautiful stranger can be quickly short circuited by the site of your wife waiving a bank statement in her hand with that "WTF" look on her face when you get home...

-- Modified on 2/25/2008 4:39:07 AM

OR

Set some asside that you do not deposit into your joint account.

Start a "Christmas Fund" at another bank.

Open a prepaid debit/credit card like http://www.GreenDotOnline.com

If you really need an excuse, you can blame it on a Car Repair, Friend in Need, Lost a bet at work...

Kisses~
Crysta

This comes under the heading of don't leave tracks.  
Yes, I accumulate a cash stash from my weekly W/D.  
Use a private e-mail.  Use a disposable phone.  Don't buy gas in an unusual location.  

PS It's addictive.  Don't spend the rent money on a provider...  

...I manage the money.  End of discussion.  Just took an allotment to the credit union out of my paycheck every two weeks.  That allotment was split among 3 or 4 accounts from which I withdrew $300 every 10 days or so to cover lunch, gas, and many everyday expenses for which I usually just paid cash.  Since there never was any record of those "incidental" expenses, it was pretty easy to set aside fun money.  I even managed a 20-year affair in that way, totally undetected.

Your mistake is letting your wife get hold of the accounts or all the records thereto in one place.  That would have been a bad idea even if you never had any intention of hobbying in the first place.  Run it like a shell and pea game.

large amounts from any account.  But rather a weekly amount to cover lunch, lotery tickets, etc. and put some aside from each withdrawl for my play account.  I also don't deposit every check that I receive.  Some just get cashed for my play account.

1. My wife has her own checking account into which all my auto deposits like SS and pensions go.  I have mine from which I pay all our monthly bills.  Total transparency.
2. We both have on-line bank access, yet she refuses to learn, nor to check Quicken where all withdrawals of $500 are categorized as either "groceries or recreation."  $ 400 for me and $100 for her.  Anytime she needs $20 for her immediate needs I have cash on hand.  Withdrawals are in a consistent monthly pattern and amount.
3. She relies on me to reconcile her checking account, also refuses to learn how. It's "how much is in there and what can I spend?"
4. She is a bright and successful computer savvy woman, just leaves the financial management to me.
5. This pattern and consistency has endured for thirty-five years, so nothing will stand out on any "search."

No, we each have our own account and a joint account, meaning 3 envelopes per month.  I called the bank today and they aren't going to mail me mine anymore.  That was easy.  I'm saving paper, as I mostly do online banking anyway.  Sounds like stashing away over time is the way to go, and if discovered is "emergency money".

If you have a car, emergency auto repair. If she ask for a receipt of the repair work you tell her that the shop said if you did not want a receipt it would be cheaper so you chose the cheaper route.

I did not but my wife did. The trick is not to marry someone who has control of the money.

The excitement of having sex with a beautiful stranger can be quickly short circuited by the site of your wife waiving a bank statement in her hand with that "WTF" look on her face when you get home...


Yes BG..the kiss of death indeed!

No reputable auto repair place is gonna give a discount if you forego getting a receipt.  Plus if it was an "emergency" auto repair, most likely he wouldn't have had time to make an ATM withdrawal, but would've charged it or debited it onto a card.

Now, if you really want to cover your ass do this:  Say, "Shit, you weren't supposed to see that!  Honey, I had a HOTTTT 3-way with an Asian and a Latina!  There's a new store called 'Rent-A-Ho' that just opened up in the mall"  (She'll know that you're full of shit!)  Then tell her, "Honey, it's a surprise; that's all I can say.  Well that, and that you're gonna like it!"  Then when she starts reeling off guesses (of what she hopes it'll be) just pick one.  But keep mum, by telling her she's just gonna have to wait and see, and then stash away a little cash each week to cover the cost of whatever it is!

Your full of it! I know many auto repair places that do just that. Places like Midas, meineke and such don't but many local shops do. Several local shops in NYC do this because its income that they dont pay taxes on because no bill of sale exist. So stop talking out of you a**.

What was the 2nd word of my first post?  Oh yeah, that's right it's "REPUTABLE"!  So please do keep going to "NON-REPUTABLE" auto repair places, but please spare us your woe when you get ripped off.  And, do a better job of reading before answering anymore of my posts or accusing me of talking out of my a##.  Your advice sucked (and you should know it)!

While my advice may have been a bit of an exageration, it at least offered some glimpses of how he may want to approach his dilemma.  Not many wives are gonna buy your advice.  Besides, it sets him up for having to answer (and continue lying) a bunch more questions... "So, what exactly was wrong with the car?",  "Where'd you get it serviced?"  "And, they only took cash?"  "Lucky coincidence, you had the cash on you?", etc.

-- Modified on 2/27/2008 10:40:03 AM