I've been a hobbiest for quite some time now.   First heard about the escort scene back in 2003 through a buddy of mine at the time.   One thing that pisses me off, is, I have a friend of mine who shakes his head at me for hobbying because in his words, "I'm a good-looking guy, I can't believe you pay for sex and go to strip clubs for private lap dances".   The guy just doesn't f*ckin' get it.   So what, big f*ckin' deal I'm a good-looking guy.   What is it doing for me?   The answer is nothing, hot women still don't send me signs of interest most of the time, otherwise I wouldn't be paying for sex as much as I do.   I look and act confident as well, and also have good social skills.   This clueless idiot thinks being a good-looking guy is a cure for the common cold with women, when in reality, it isn't at all with most of them.   The guy just doesn't get it and it pisses me off.   Don't mind the rant, I just wanted to get that out.   Anyone else deal with clueless idiots like this?          

-- Modified on 7/15/2010 9:12:03 PM

-- Modified on 7/16/2010 9:45:52 AM

Yep, 99% of civies, both male and female, don't get the whole concept of the hobby.

Do what I do ... ignore them.

RKR..."because in his words, "I'm a good-looking guy,"
"So what, big f*ckin' deal I'm a good-looking guy.   What is it doing for me?   The answer is nothing, hot women still don't send me signs of interest most of the time, otherwise I wouldn't be paying for sex as much as I do.   I look and act confident as well, and also have good social skills."


Ok let me take this from the top..Your guy friend claims  you are a good looking guy??? I don't relate to that. In your defense,I don't look in the mirror and see a good looking guy, and assume the hot women in the next room are going to SEND ME signs of interest.Maybe your confidence overflows into a aura of arrogance and  overwhelms your good looks.Or maybe the hot women are not sure about your sexual preference, since you don't let THEM know you are interested.
If you are sure of your sexuality, or willing to test yourself, try a visit to a gay bar and see if any hot guys send you signs of interest..If they do, and you still want those hot women,try a new wardrobe and a demeanor make over..and don't forget to show YOUR interest TOWARDS the hot women you are attracted to,without being pushy,clingy,conceited,or overly arrogant.

 

Obviously you missed your buddy's whole point!
He's reminding you of how good looking you are and doesn't see why you pay for sex because he's jealous!  That's right, he wants you to himself! He's hitting on you, and you're ignoring him.  He's giving you those signs of interest you want, and you missed them!  Talk about clueless!  Is he hot?   Put his ass in a thong!  Hell nothing else seems to be working! Maybe there's a reason! It's never too late to find happiness!  LMAO

In the civvie world, most women believe it's  he man's job to make the first move, and if he doesn't he's not interested.  All the books about dating tell the ladies this.  If you aren't going and talking to these ladies, it isn't going to happen. The professional situation cuts all these tangibles out and cuts right to the chase.  If you are interested in having a personal civvie relationship you might want to work on your communication skills with women and read up on what it's really like for women, the dating scene and reality today with relationships. Definitely being good looking is not enough.  You have to be easy to talk to, approachable and not afraid to go talk to the lady first.  

If your description is correct you are good looking, confident and with good social skills; you should most definitely be able to get civie dates with hot women.

If you aren't getting the results you want ... change something.

I have had dates with literally hundreds of civie women. (I said "dates" not sex.) And I'm NOT particularly handsome, IMO.

Time to face the fact you are doing something wrong.

Maybe you are too good looking.  Maybe you are too confident and "unapproachable".  Either way, if you want to date civies you need to change something.  
You could just put it out their.......example:  One of my brothers used to say to me...."Go into a bar, scan it for the best looking woman there, walk up to her and say 'you wanna fuck'?".  Two marriages and six kids later....he no longer says that.  LOL

gaudy jewelery, drive an overpriced sports cars, get a Rolex.

That's what hot women are looking for. Looks are over rated.

Superficial women want large cash.

I would have to dig to find the citation, but a study was done in which men would approach women in NYC who weren't asking wedding rings and ask them for a date.

These were people unknown to each other.

The result?

Just out of the clear blue sky, 10% of women agreed to a date with a perfect stranger who just walked up to them and asked.

So, the fact that you are doing even worse than any ordinary guy could do at random indicates you need to reassess your approach.

There are a lot of women out there looking for it. IT is just a matter of putting in the time. I still can spot the easy marks in a bar or club. At this point be older I have the curve against me. I can no longer get the ones that I really desire on decent enough percentage to make it worth it. I look as the hobby as going to an amusement park and I want to go on all the rides. Plus it is way less time consuming. when I do go out there is very little pressure to score. I can ejoy being out. Some guys just never quite understand why you pay for it. I have been with guys who go to the strip club and will not even give a $1 tip.

Attractiveness and sex appeal are subjective intangibles that are somewhat unique to the eye of the beholder.  Yet, some people are more universally appealing than others.   Some folks are more universally attractive, but lack sex appeal.  Some folks are less attractive generally, but seem to have great sex appeal.  For example; I’ll never understand why Angelina Jolie (and perhaps many other women) find Billy Bob Thornton so appealing, but they do.  To me, he seems average or even below in appearance, yet he has quite a following.  (I realize fame, power, and wealth are aphrodisiacs too but let’s get beyond that for a minute).   I once had a friend who was short, bald, gray, out of shape and a bit pudgy.  However, he was extremely intelligent, confident, and could make just about anyone laugh at just about anything.  On the strength of his personality alone, he bedded hundreds of civie women.  He claimed that once you can make ‘em laugh, it’s not too long before they’ll be shuckin laundry.   Go figure.

I agree.  Do you guys intentially find a time in the hobby sessions to crack a joke and make a provider laugh? Subconciously, I just tend to be a listener ... getting to know more about her personal life if she's chatty about it, or giving her a massage.

I realize generalizations can get a fellow in trouble, but I'm going to risk it anyway. Many (not all) civie women want plausible deniability. They want to have NSA sex, but they don't want to take responsibility for having done it. They'd like to blame it on having had too much to drink or the circumstances etc... You'll hear them say things like..."My friend got me drunk and we ended up at x's apartment..." instead of I went to his apartment hoping for sex.  The first phrase implies that they were thrust into a compromising position.  The second suggests a choice for which they could be held accountable. The point is...if you are too obvious with some women, it can blow the deal.  They sometimes need to feel seduced.

I'm not a particularly attractive guy, but I take care of myself and dress well.  I vacillate back and forth between civie dating and hobbying and I can honestly say that I prefer to hobby because of the encumbrances of the civie dating scene.  You must invest much more time and money into a civie girl in order to get what a provider can give you instantly, often only to find out that the investment was not worth it. Between my business and being a dad to my kids, I don't have the time or inclination to invest in a relationship, mainly because I have no plans on getting married again.

So, should I get plastic surgery and buy some gaudy jewelry?

Sports car...check
Rolex...check
decent looking...may be a problem.

I so wish the rules would stop changing.  Jeez

certainly not enough for the great majority of women to go out of their way to show interest in *you* beyond a look.

Many if not most women are so much more sophisticated than men in this regard - they require more than eye candy

Women want you to show interest in them. And not just in their appearance, if you want to get anywhere with them. Hell - the attitude of "wanting to get somewhere" will turn a lot of women off.

It's really a matter of personality, suavity, experience and confidence. Being an attractive *person* and showing very focused interest in a lady are the missing ingredients in your presentation.....

To get women interested in me, alcohol!

Otherwise forget it, then they have the nerve to complain to me about their dating life. This obsession with perfection is just insane and why I turned to the hobby in the first place after a year of Meeting crazy women who have no idea what they want. So thank you to all the providers out there who know exactly what they want from me. Sorry if I sound fed up, rough week.

So does that mean superficial men like youngsters with big tits?

By the tone of this post, no matter how you dress it up...the end result for these guys is to get sex. I have always said that men "date" meet or whatever term you want to use ...women for the main purpose of sexual gratification...nothing wrong with that but once before I said it and copped a load from a ton of people.

Why is blunt honesty so scary to some people? It's not the complete reason but 99%

Is talking to your friends about the fact that you pay for sex in the first place.  It's none of their business and it's probably going to bite you in the ass one day.

I don't cold-approach women.   I will once in a blue moon, but 98% of the time, I rely on vibes from them before I make an approach.   I'm well aware that sitting back and waiting for women to show signs of interest is a lost cause, I realized that a long time ago, but it's just not my style to coldly go up to some chick and start dancing and shooting the breeze with.   If I cold-approached women regularly like some of my buddies do, I'd yield much more results.  Thing with my buddies though, is they couldn't do it if they were sober.   They need alcohol to do it, which in my book is cheating, because the alcohol is really doing it, not the person.   Hey, I can only give credit where it's due.  

I am all that you mention up top; good-looking, confident, and have good social skills(funny, witty, not socially inept, etc.).   That I can absolutley assure you of.   There is only one reason I don't pull that often, and that is because I rarely do cold-approaches.   What I was trying to say in my original post was that my buddy doesn't get it that looks have nothing to do with getting women(most women).   He expects me to be reeling in hotties because I'm a good-looking guy.   And it doesn't work that way with most women.   He doesn't understand that attraction works completely different for women than it does for men, and it's very frustrating having to deal with someone who doesn't understand that.

and I've made it a point to not tell anyone my business anymore.   The less people know about you, the better off you are.   The old saying: "Loose lips, sink ships"   I only have one friend who hobbies(and used to hang out with this other guy who does also), but I probably shouldn't even be sharing it with him either.  

-- Modified on 7/16/2010 4:05:48 PM

Yes, I love young women with big tits, or medium tits, or even small tits. lol

Is there really anything wrong with that?

Actually, people here are every bit as narrow minded and judgemental as society at large.

With a few exceptions of course. lol

None of that applies to me, so I really don't care who knows that I have sex with prostitutes, willing civvie women, and any other willing and attractive members of the opposite sex.

Why should I give a fuck what others think? I am not ashamed of what I do, and anyone who doesn't like it can go fuck themselves.

I guess this alias is shot. isn't it??? rofl

Define "good looking". I'm good looking and married and have had a lot of come-ons.  Some guys are basically not ugly and fat and assume that equals "good looking".

I agree that you shouldn't care what people think. With the hobby, you don't deal with any baggage.