I would like to know what some of you have to say about things that bother you about the escorts and your visits with them. Certain things they do that bug you. Im new to this and want to know what people find offensive and what is acceptable. Obviously a bad smelling kitty is a major complaint but what else?

Hmmmmmmm.

Please note that some of the "problems" clients might have may actually be due to the clients themselves. For instance, did the lady not want to do Asian, even though she did it to another client? Hmm, maybe she caught a whiff of your bum. Offer CBJ even though the norm for her tends to be BBBJ? Smegma anyone? The acronym Gods didn't come up with "YMMV" for nothing.

Upcharge? Shoulda read her reviews. Did you blow in 15 minutes and she didn't offer another round? Shoulda read her reviews. A LOT of problems many encounter can be avoided simply by doing your homework. It really humors me the complaints I read- often from the newer people who hear "read her reviews" but don't take the advice- about how their first experience turned out bad... even though the lady they chose to see had few or no reviews, and sometimes even BAD reviews! Get a membership here, and RESEARCH. That's the BEST way to ensure a positive experience.

I can't wait to read some of these.



-- Modified on 8/8/2008 1:49:02 AM

You know... the man hater types. The ones with the piss poor attitudes, the ones at the end of their game.
Aside from that, I have been lucky, and the occasional rush to get me out the door for the next guy is a peeve.
RESEARCH is the best, but being a good people reader is even better.  

I don't want to sound like little Mary Sunshine, but I have been very lucky.  I have run into a few bad experiences, but in general, the ladies I have met have been bright, attentive, careful of their hygiene, and talented.  I did run into a lady who was in a room with another lady, two dogs with plenty of dog droppings, a bad smell, etc, but that was a standout from the years before I discovered TER.  I met one lady on a recommendation from a friend . She had no reviews and clearly wanted money and to get rid of me as fast as possible. Aside from these, and after many years, I have really no complaints. Sorry guys.

It's rare, but the most annoying thing that I can come up with is no call, no shows.

I've had about three of these over the last few years and they never fail to put me in a shitty mood.  When I'm up for some good lovin', don't pull the rug out from under me.

I'm sure you'll get lots of candid, raw complaints by thoughtful hobbyists using their real screen names to bash the women we love right here on the general board.

You wouldn't have such piss-poor luck with some of your reviews.

Maybe it hasn't occured to you that some criticism offered in this thread might help men, but need to be offered in an anonymous fashion due to obvious reasons. (And if you don't know what they are, you haven't paid attention to the types of drama shared here these past few years. Some women don't like having their incall criticized, or less than ideal hygeine, and have had reviews altered or threatened men here.)

And yes, this is an alias due to not being able to use more than one id in a thread.

Since using TER, I've no complaints!  Couldn't agree more with the advice to do your research - I believe that this is the reason I haven't been dissatisfied with a lady reviewed on TER.  The closest thing I have to an unsatisfactory experience is with a non-TER-reviewed lady I hooked up with from CL (I know!).  Even that wasn't an unpleasant experience, just wasn't a real GFE or PSE (it did accomplished the goal, anyway, i.e., got Big Jim drained).

Thanks, Ladies!  Love every one of you!

Messy bathrooms - please ladies, make sure you flush the toilet and put away hygeine items in the bathroom. Amazing what some women put in the toilet to flush, and then forget to. And clean the tub of hair, whether yours or the guy before us.

Your hair retains scent, please wash it daily. If you are a daily smoker, your sense of smell is already compromised. You may think a shot of perfume or hairspray will freshen you up, but it just adds a layer of smell.

When we come in, ask what kind of music we prefer. Many of us aren't into techo-pop or that latest hit singer that appeals to the teens and college crowd. It can be distracting. It is amazing how many women here in the LA area think playing the latest MTV music is a turn-on. It's not. Most guys in their 50's and up would like to hear music that has actually proven to stand the test of time. Classy music and a classy lady make for a classy evening. You can't go wrong with some Sinatra.

Wash your lingerie since each time you wear it it picks up your scent. That area has bacteria. Bacteria grows. If you wear it for ten minutes and get 'hot and wet' the bacteria will start growing. Although retired, I used to work in research and you'd be amazed at how fast they grow. Don't reuse unwashed lingerie between guys. You'll stay healthier and there is less risk of him finding a 'funny' smell.

If you are not familiar with a topic, don't pretend you are to impress. It will show through. Instead, ask a question. We love to give you an answer.

In my two decades of hobbying, I have come across many scenarios, but the above are the ones which seem to crop up most often.

most of the complaints listed here, I can't complain about, because I haven't experienced them. The only two I have experienced have been upselling, which I chalked up to part of my education, and a ringing cell phone, which she answered several times. That one really pissed me off.

I haven't seen a, whole lot of providers but so far my biggest complaints are:
1) cigarette breath, it's not hot and a major mood killer.
2) provider jealousy.  Only had this once, I had a perfect session and then at the end she brought up the topic of my references and got really jealous and started acting cold to me.  I know it was a GFE but I didn't want that part of the girlfriend experience.

but for the most part everything has been a dream come true.

Haven't had a pure NC/NS but did have someone stay with their previous client well into my scheduled time, and then lie about it. Not cool. She was very well rated.

And remember to turn your cell phone into silent mode. Its just common courtesy not to have it go off during a session. And some of you ladies have LOUD blaring music as your cell phone ring. It is a mood killer for me. Its actually been far more common to have the phone ring than not when I've met with someone.

I think also some ladies don't realize how bad the ciggie smell can be; even if you don't smoke, if you are around smokers your hair and clothes will pick it up. You won't even recognize it until you are in smoke-free environment. I understand not wanting to wash your hair repeatedly because it can be damaging or takes too long to dry, but if you encounter smoke during the day, you have to wash it out. Smelling like a ciggie, even if just in your hair, is as big a turn off for me as bad breath (which thankfully I've never encountered).

I hate one pop only.
I feel that if I paid for an hr of entertainment, that is what I should get.
Would a lady prefer a guy like me who is good for 2 relatively quick pops, or a guy with the stamina of a porn star who can go for 45 min.
Why penalize a one pump chump, in the end we require the least amount of effort to please.

Some ladies think that wearing perfume and other fragrances adds to the experience.  IMO, it might more often detract than add.  No guy rejects a provider at the door because she wasn't wearing enough fragrance.

Perfume is never a substitute for the kind of true cleanliness guys are asking for in this thread.

Be advised that some people are inclined to have neurotoxic reactions to breathing perfume.  Using it in your business is like quietly slipping vodka into the punch and hoping no reformed alcoholics come to the party.

Also, while a guy is visiting a perfumed lady, in many different ways (ha!) he is "picking up" that scent.  The stuff is designed to cling and linger.  A hobbyist's clothing can reek for days afterwards in the closet.  That spells trouble if his SO has a sensitive sniffer.

So, ladies, please do get clean, dress sexy, and be articulate -- but leave the frangrances at home.

I'm sure that a lot of complaints are going to be posted here. I'm not going to chime in - But I will say this: stay with high end providers with several pages of reviews, and who are rooted in or regularly visit your community, or, use the better agencies, and you will rarely have a disappointment. I should also say that I have met some wonderful ladies who were relatively low priced indies - but at that level, you will have a larger statistical chance for disappointment...

I don't see the point of these "10 things I hate about you" posts. On either side. In my opinion, when a provider writes about a client's stinky butt cheese or dead animal breath, she has virtually no hope of reaching her intended audience. 57 hobbyists will respond about how they always douche before a date, 33 will counter-attack with provider "not so fresh" stories, and the 17 guys who really DO have the stinky butt cheese either a) can't read, or b) really don't know about their stinky butt cheese and think the post is about somebody else, or c) don't give a flying fuck.

The same holds true in reverese when the hobbyists posts his pet peeves.

Either way, I don't see how anybody benefits from this post. Do you really think a provider is going to read this and say "wow, you mean I should wash my ass between dates? huh! who knew?"

And I don't see anything new or especially enlightening being shared. Body odor, stale cigarette smell, ringing phones, getting rushed out the door, pimp hiding behind the curtains: you mean guys don't like these things? Again - who knew? Tell me you hate it when a winged monkey flies out of her ass at the height of passion, and I'll perk up and read your story.

In my opinion, these kinds of posts just serve to make encounters LESS comfortable, not more. CERTAINLY a good provider might read these and pick something up, "hmmm, I guesss I'd better be more careful about the perfume or the cigarettes or whatever". But most good providers are already aware of this stuff and just tend to get offended by the thread. And most bad providers don't read it in the first place, or just don't care.

Last but not least, I don't see how my "piss poor luck" relates to this thread in any way; as I have written in the past AND in the body of some of my reviews, I live off the beaten path and don't have the option of visiting high-end, well-reviewed providers on a regular basis. I frequently TOFTT, seeing ladies from CL or local adult ads, and don't have high expectations. There are a lot of 6's in my recent reviews, which is about what one should expect approaching the hobby as I do.

This is probably the first list of peeves I've ever seen that doesn't boil down to "stop shopping on CL and do your homework"

Well done, you actually gave me some food for thought with a useful list.

I think you have TER burnout. When you start getting grumpy over a posted topic, and spend paragraphs grousing about it, it's time for a break. Just sayin'.

-- Modified on 8/8/2008 10:42:34 AM

No daty, no fingers, no kisses, no sucking breasts, no bbbj, "don't touch me" are bad offenses. It only happened once, but it made me feel like a gob of spit. Don't chat to fill up time. Carry different size condoms. Buy condoms that don't leave a bitter taste in your pussy. Don't cut a session short. If you have a yeast infection, go to a doctor. Eeeeewwwwwwww. The smell!!!!! I saw a provider with it and I went ahead, figuring I could hold my breath. Well, the damn condom slipped off and I got a urinary tract infection and subsequent prostatitis that together took four months and four different antibiotics to cure. I also got scabies from one provider. I had a hard time explaining that to my wife. Luckily, I'd been in the hospital so I blamed it on my roommate. It seems scabies are common in hospitals, nursing homes, etc.

Us oldsters have seen most every topic discussed again and again. What changes are the participants. For many, a topic like this may be the first time they've seen it.

Besides, even us old farts need a 'refresher' from time to time.

If hygiene and decent behavior were universal, we wouldn't see so much YMMV.  Anything that can be cleared up before a meeting is to both parties advantage.

Very well said. Even though a topic has been discussed, there's always the possibility of another point of view from some of the new folks.

but this hobbyist never douches before a date.

My reviews suggest the very opposite of what you claim, and always have. Those things being mentioned? No client of mine has EVER experienced any of them with me. *smiles sweetly* (Oh okay. Once I was running late with getting an incall, and found out too late the AC was broken. Only that one-time thing though. I say that in truth.)

Ever heard of the term "Devil's Advocate"?  I've mentioned before: take everything and anything I say with a grain of salt. Now if you would like to point out what exactly I said that suggested I am a man-hater with a piss-poor attitude, I would be more than happy to show you the error of your ways (which shouldn't be hard to do considering that, as a woman, I am naturally inclined to be right).



"Things are not always as they appear."
*cue scary music*
Exit stage left.




-- Modified on 8/8/2008 12:58:39 PM

-- Modified on 8/8/2008 1:15:07 PM

-- Modified on 8/8/2008 1:34:09 PM

I've been hearing things

I'll just say one more thing, in response to Hardwood, Hungry, and Totally Hot, then I'll get off my soapbox...

I didn't complain that the topic had been rehashed too many times. I agree that regular reminders of important issues are valuable.

I said (or MEANT to say, at least) that I believe that a post that encourages us to list each other's faults does not contribute to pleasant encounters. And, often these threads turn into mean-spirited insults, defensive talk, and so on.

Totally, I read your post and it is fair, intelligent, and well written. If everybody responded in kind, this type of thread would be a helpful dialogue.

and that's all I have to say about THAT.

I also have had very few problems. I can honestly say I contributed my fair share to the very few problems I have encountered.
While my total number of providers seen is relatively small the overwhelming majority have gone out of their way to treat me really well. Some of the coolest women I have ever known actually.

-- Modified on 8/8/2008 2:43:32 PM

where are your reviews?

The biggest issue for me is really only a problem when I cheap-out and don't go with a GFE lady. The specific activities are secondary to the attitude (are you ready to cum yet?)with the "one-and done" girls.  There isn't much of a connection and I am generally just as happy to see them go as they are to be going once the deed is done.  You get what you pay for in this hobby as in anything else.

Why call a lady like this? Well, sometimes I'm on the road and horny and I just wanna get laid...I have found an occasional gem out there in the great old USA but more and more often I find myself less willing to waste the cash on the road and I just save up my passion for a visit with my ATF when I get home.

I will agree with you about this.  I saw one expensive pse woman a couple of years ago who regularly gets 10's on her reviews. Well actually she said she was a little gfe but I need a massive amount of gfe. She actually got angry at me because she does not dfk and I just can not respond without it. She asked me at one point if I could do anything right now what would I want and I said kissing. She expected me to say greek lol!!I literally could not respond and that pissed her off. That really helped my situation out lol!! But then again I have to take most of the responsibility because she did what she always does but I did not research and most importantly think it through. I would much rather fantasize and pleasure myself so to speak than to be with a pse, cheap or expensive.

This has happeend a couple of times: I call her, she tells me where to meet and to call for room # when I get there. I get there, and then I can't reach her. I call it rings, then the message comes on followed by "this customer's mail box is full and cannot accept further messages." Arggh - where does that leave me. Hanging out in my car in a hotel parking lot, dialing over and over, not so fun, maybe even suspicious looking should the hotel have security.
First time this happened the girls message did say something about having phone problems so I could write it off...Happened again yesterday. Reached her this morning, she was very apologetic and booked me right away for a fine session. She told me a.) her "bars" are very low at that location and b.) her phone makes her listen to the whole message before she can delete, and there is no mass delete option - so her voice mailbox os always full. Frustrating, esp. in "prime time" but luckily I was able to reach her in the mid-morning slow period.

I use an alias because I like to stay under the radar, and I don't want my link posted all over a national discussion board. (As you can imagine, that's not very conducive to staying UTR.) Not to mention that SOME people on this board actually take my posts seriously, LOL (another source of amusement for me). I'm (obviously) not always a "hit" with others out there while playing AWLNO, and so I don't want this to affect my provider reputation.

If I showed you my reviews, my cover would be blown and I can't be having all that. So, I'd rather risk your not believing that I am as good as I say I am in exchange for keeping my anonymity and remaining UTR.




-- Modified on 8/8/2008 4:45:39 PM

will be to run across you by accident.

Seems that way. I await your visit

complaints.  Three I have been no-showed (her VM was full, didn't answer my call, claimed her car broke down).  Twice I have been at a lady's incall and had to deal with either a messy bathroom or a messy bedroom (she suggested we stay in the living room).  We guys should at least be able to use a bed to get laid!

... I make more money in dirty lingerie . Some of  us have smells that men like the stronger it gets.

Please use a wet wet wipe after every fart and wash anything that has been farted on.
Farts leave sweaty moisture in crevices and is probably the true culprit of these odors.  Some people don't realize how important this is.
lolol
I MEAN IT.
oh god. nitey nite.
p.s.
Garlic and spices also cause odors in secretions.
Herbs, pesto and garlic laden foods are also causes.
Drugs and medication can effect odors.
Most girls work on their periods so even if you don't see the blood you can smell something unusual.
Use Vagisil cleansing foam.  It's awesome!!!
Also there are these inserts that are great for odors "down there" . If you have eaten to much garlic or need to neutralize odor use these little suppositories but I forgot what theyre called.

lucky me... my first experience went great... but if there is ever one with a bad odor. what should i do or say?

the same sentence could move you from a top rated lady down to a 7 in know time.
  Kisses Haley

Reel me in.

Someone who appreciates my wacky humor. You get bonus points already

I find some of your posts very entertaining, and some informative, and all of them pretty much to the point. The only thing I don't like is that even if we were to meet someday, I wouldn't even know it. Sort of a forbidden fruit at this point.

Oh so tempting to tell you (I'm a sucker for sweet comments, especially when it comes to my mind), but I just can't. If you ever write a review of me, I'll let you know it was me. And at least one of the ladies you've written a review of is from my area. But that's the only hint I'm giving you