1) I am a lot more likely to give head to a patron if he is clean and respectful
2) BF is more likely to get middle of the night BJ wake up if he was amazingly attentive during the day. CONSISTENTLY.
3) Most folks here can't or won't put in enough effort into the relationship that will make a woman wake them up with a BJ.
Saw this posted by a married woman on another board and thought I'd post here. Is this true married guys?
Some married men complain they are not getting enough blow jobs to their liking. While there are married women who just don't like it in general, there are still an abundance of women who will give you one, however, the one complaint I hear from women who try to stay away from it all have the same complaint:
You ain't keeping your dipstick up to, "par". Now while I know that there are men who will complain that some women are not keeping their own particular Vajay-jay up to par either, personally I ain't goin anywhere near your stick if you don't keep it "manscaped" or clean...just as you don't wish to go anywhere down there on a woman if it is not waxed/shaved/lasered to your liking or she does not keep her vag clean. Correct?
Now, I know most of you, like most men think you can just whip it out in the morning after it's been stuck in your underpants for the last 24 hours without a shower...Ms. Champs says, "Urggghh..uh..no". That's enough marinade, thank you very much. Your penis needs to be kept clean too and it needs to smell good as well. Nothing worse than your penis smelling like, "Ass"...and yes, sometimes it does!
Now, as for ejaculation, sometimes your junk tastes like SKUNK. Imagine someone shoving a teaspoon of expired sour cream or cruddled milk down your throat and expecting you to swallow. Please learn which foods cause your junk to taste like funk.
We ladies do not like smelly dick in our face or in our mouth nor do we want to swallow something that tastes like near ****.
Please examine your penis asap. Take a wiff. Would you stick that in YOUR mouth? If it isn't good enough for you..it isn't good enough for us.
Thank you in advance....
Women everywhere
I eat healthy, staying away from salty, fatty and processed foods. And, I'm always freshly washed before bed time. Get all the head I want. She always remarks about how good I smell and taste.
Men in generall can't get enough blowjobs period. As far as smelly dick ew I know if I don't shower for more then 24hrs I can smell nothing but sweaty balls not pleasent and it's not in my face. Reminds me of my second hobbying experience, an out call to my home the chick stunk it wasn't atrocious but noticeable none the less, so I just made it quick. One thing I always heard was to drink pineapple or prune juice to taste sweet is their any truth in that.
That is great advice from that we men can take away from the female POV.
And yes, I've heard that pineapples will change the taste as well.
Something else to consider when dealing with this subject is to talk about it with your SO. if you are not getting what you want/need, talk to them and ask why. Maybe they don't like the smell or taste or the way you keep it clean. You won't know until you ask and talk about it.
If I could get my cock to my nose to give it a good smell, I probably wouldn't be calling you for a BBBJ.
Just sayin'.....
This should be posted on every Newbie board and be discussed before any marriage.. LOVE it
Some married men complain they are not getting enough blow jobs to their liking. While there are married women who just don't like it in general, there are still an abundance of women who will give you one, however, the one complaint I hear from women who try to stay away from it all have the same complaint:
You ain't keeping your dipstick up to, "par". Now while I know that there are men who will complain that some women are not keeping their own particular Vajay-jay up to par either, personally I ain't goin anywhere near your stick if you don't keep it "manscaped" or clean...just as you don't wish to go anywhere down there on a woman if it is not waxed/shaved/lasered to your liking or she does not keep her vag clean. Correct?
Now, I know most of you, like most men think you can just whip it out in the morning after it's been stuck in your underpants for the last 24 hours without a shower...Ms. Champs says, "Urggghh..uh..no". That's enough marinade, thank you very much. Your penis needs to be kept clean too and it needs to smell good as well. Nothing worse than your penis smelling like, "Ass"...and yes, sometimes it does!
Now, as for ejaculation, sometimes your junk tastes like SKUNK. Imagine someone shoving a teaspoon of expired sour cream or cruddled milk down your throat and expecting you to swallow. Please learn which foods cause your junk to taste like funk.
We ladies do not like smelly dick in our face or in our mouth nor do we want to swallow something that tastes like near ****.
Please examine your penis asap. Take a wiff. Would you stick that in YOUR mouth? If it isn't good enough for you..it isn't good enough for us.
Thank you in advance....
Women everywhere
I hear you loud and clear sista....gawd I hate skunk cum....nasty nasty nasty EWWWWWWWWWW
I've never worried much over the presence/absence of blowjobs particularly with civies; but I have found that the primary barriers in terms of a woman either giving (or even receiving, believe it or not) oral sex is attitudinal/psychological rather than a matter of hygiene.
Some women just find the whole idea in either direction distasteful because an organ used for excretion seems to them to be a place where one's mouth does not necessarily belong -- no matter how well cleaned it may be. In essence, their reaction to the idea of mouth-on-penis or mouth-on-vulva is similar to my reaction to the idea of mouth-on-anus: yuck!
Sometimes this can be approached and dealt with in a kind and loving way; but one must be careful in that a great many women very deeply resent anything even remotely akin to the barest concept of "pressure" in a sexual sense -- so approaching a woman about such matters can make them resentful -- something that is incompatible with enjoyable sex at all.
So that's the first problem.
The second is an attitudinal problem of a different sort. Sex with civie women is complicated by the fact that it typically takes place within a more encompassing relationship; and other aspects of the relationship come into play. You haven't just laid down a few hundred bucks and said: "Okay, this time is for sex only and is a time set aside from all other aspects and complications of our lives. During this time we will be our idealized selves."
Sex in civie life typically takes place within a broader context of relationships that have lasted a long time. As such, each has managed to hurt the other, either deliberately or unawares, many many times. Sometimes these little and big hurts are effectively set aside, but very often they are not. It isn't just women who can have difficulty setting these things aside -- men can too.
I am reminded of a scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall in which the hero's ex-girlfriend, Ms. Marshall, attempts to seduce or have sex with him only to find that, with HER, he is psychologically impotent. She asks why, and he says: "Excuse me. No, I haven't had anything to drink today. Maybe the problem is that you broke my heart into a million pieces and so my cock doesn't want to be around you anymore! Okay? EVER! Because you know what I just realized? You're the goddamn devil!"
Not all such cases are so extreme, of course -- but the principle elucidated is valid. Our sexual responses and willingness to be giving in a sexual sense can be seriously affected by how we have been treated by a partner outside the bedroom. Often, this results in the withholding of the most desired of sexual acts; because in a sense those acts are the most giving. Although, of course, it also can result in a total lack of sexual desire for the other person.
These things can work bidirectionally as well. One partner refusing sex or particularly desired sexual acts can, in and of itself, be hurtful to the other partner -- thereby resulting in the slighted partner's sexual desire being removed from the person who refused. And it may be nearly impossible to re-direct back. I remember, in one case, a woman did this to me because it was apparently a game she had played often in the past with other men, but in the wake of it she no longer impressed me as even being a sexual being -- I lost even the barest hint of sexual desire for her and it never returned. So one should be careful about doing this voluntarily as some sort of manipulation.
In addition, in a world where both partners typically work; sheer volume of work in addition to perceived inequities in work distribution can be a large contributing factor in many cases. Basically, a woman who works 9 hours at the coal mine, picks up the kids, goes home and then spends 3-4 hours taking care of dinner, laundry, dishes, homework, etc. might not have enough bandwidth to be interested in sex. Some studies indicate that men who take on a greater share of home chores get laid more often.
Finally, our civie relationships are often interpreted within unrealistic and artificial contexts -- particularly those conveyed in media; which can substantially alter our expectations leading to dissatisfaction with our relationships.
I realize this sounds preposterous, but it is quite true.
Please see, for example, a study by the IntraAmerican Development Bank of how you can manipulate the overall divorce rate in a Catholic country simply by varying the content of certain TV shows: http://ideas.repec.org/p/idb/wpaper/4611.html
Given that the average American spends 35 hours in front of the TV weekly and internalizing who-knows-what implicit expectations of relationships; the effect of gradually eroding satisfaction with any relationship that is less than a "made for TV ideal" is predictable. This lack of satisfaction will likely lead to resentments, thereby resulting in a decreased willingness to engage in sex or favored (most giving) sex acts.
All of these, I would posit, have far more effect on the content and frequency of sex acts within civie life than personal hygiene.
I have no doubt that, as a provider, you may often encounter men who do not have the time to shower before seeing you and this country's inexplicable aversion to the bidet adds to the stench. But if a man is married or living with a girlfriend, his wife or girlfriend has the opportunity to see him when he is freshly showered, and even to get into the shower with him and scrub him to her satisfaction.
After all, what man would refuse getting soaped up by a beautiful woman prior to a blowjob?
So I sincerely doubt that lack of cleanliness *at home* is a substantial contributing factor to the lack of blowjobs *at home*. Rather, the largest factors at home have to do with psychology, expectations and the dynamics of longer relationships.
As for eating a diet consistent with producing semen that tastes good, I have one word: no.
I eat a diet that I believe is consistent with my overall health, energy and wellbeing. Most people couldn't even dream of accomplishing in a week what I manage to accomplish in a day. I will NOT go sucking down gobs of high-glycemic-index pineapple juice or the like simply because you think it will make my semen taste better.
Rather, I simply will not ejaculate in your mouth -- that way, the problem is solved to both of our mutual satisfaction. Yes, yes, I know it's the oldest lie ever told -- but any provider I've seen can tell you I didn't ejaculate in her mouth. I find the whole idea of doing so distasteful.
I can really appreciate your points and do the very best I can to arrive at appointments as clean as possible. But I don't believe this phenomenon automatically transfers into private life. A guy sneaking out of work for an hour is not the same thing as a guy who showers every night before going to bed such that a wife or girlfriend has ample opportunity to exploit sexual opportunities at the man's cleanest.
It's not because he is unclean that she doesn't give him a BJ. If it were THAT simple, demand for providers would quickly fall through the floor as soon as men discovered the incredible aphrodisiac powers of a bar of soap. (*grin*)
HOWEVER -- and I will grant you this -- there are some very filthy people out there. You'd notice the men because that's who you see. But the phenomenon is equally prevalent among women. They are just filthy and gross.
Unfortunately, such people are unlikely to read and take heed of your words. Instead, you may be preaching to the choir mainly consisting of guys who have long since gotten the message.
1) I am a lot more likely to give head to a patron if he is clean and respectful
2) BF is more likely to get middle of the night BJ wake up if he was amazingly attentive during the day. CONSISTENTLY.
3) Most folks here can't or won't put in enough effort into the relationship that will make a woman wake them up with a BJ.
But don't forget point 4: Some women have unrealistic expectations and entitlement issues, and their husbands let them get away with it.
I've been told by a friend that it is unrealistic to expect monogamy from only one person in relationship 
Both expectations and limitations, even if they have no factual basis; gain a certain level of reality if accepted.
As for monogamy ... I don't think mutual monogamy is an unrealistic expectation. Of course, I have pretty strongly monogamous tendencies anyway. But I don't think unilateral imposition of chastity on the other partner should *ever* be expected to work out very well.
As for one partner being polygamous and the other monogamous ... I suppose it CAN work in certain unique circumstances ... but I suspect it has a time limit in most cases.
My larger concern about expectations is that I think men and women alike garner unrealistic expectations about what is available to them in a partner from various media; and often quite frankly overestimate their value in the mating market. This leads to unhappiness within relationships that would otherwise be quite sound.
I am remembering Wife #1 who expected me to simultaneously make gobs of money while never having important commitments necessary to earn that money; who expected me to have the patient and non-judgmental attitude of a therapist with regard to her, but to echo her very judgmental nature regarding everyone else, etc. Of course, I was supposed to be like super-Mom while simultaneously being super-masculine. And she was absolutely convinced that just around every corner there was a man with all those contradictory attributes she desired, who also happened to have strong monogamous tendencies and a fetish for women with a TV addiction.
Of course, because she was convinced of the existence of this wonderful man if only she were free of me, she was unable to enjoy what she had and eventually DID find herself free. Unfortunately, she vastly overestimated both her value in the mating market AND the concentration of available men who were just dying to make a commitment, etc. To date, she has not yet managed to find a man who was employed and not living with his parents and didn't end up mooching off her.
(Frankly, she did me a favor. Because I married her as a virgin, I was utterly oblivious to how horrible she was because she was all I had known. I have since learned that women exist who aren't Tasmanian devils and who don't routinely employ knives as negotiating tools.)
This is generally the sort of expectation to which I am referring as being instrumental in introducing difficulties into relationships. Men, of course, often harbor similarly destructive notions. They think, sometimes, that the world is just full of Enjoli women and supermodel blonds with an acute case of nymphomania that only applies to them, who like to screw like porn stars 5 times and day and who don't care about the fact they have no money, etc. Men get exposed to this ideation, and become dissatisfied with the perfectly attractive and plenty sufficiently sexual wife or girlfriend they already have.
I believe high, but nevertheless thoroughly realistic expectations can go a long way toward increasing the amount of layage in a civie relationship.
Soap, of course, doesn't hurt. (*grin*)
in the morning to a bj. Like you say, it helps to be consistently attentive, nn my case showering before bed-time, but also sleeping in the nude.
being more likely to have cooking skills, and thereby having a more trained palate, might just not enjoy cock-related flavors???
How about "supertasters"?
As a guy, I truly enjoy giving oral, including the taste of a woman. But if they are not clean....
guhlahuhuhulack! 
HalfHour
Wow honey, hats off to you!
No I don’t expect a blow job to wipe away sweat, dirt, farts, or anything that happened to be on my fingers when I pulled it out to take a piss. But after 25 years of marriage I would think it would be more often but reality has set in and that’s what the hobby is for. Yes I am as clean as clean can be when I go out and when I trying to get some at home. Now I did have a dancer once that I told her I have been sweating all day and was not fresh and her answer was "thats great cause I like thats salty sweaty taste". To each their own.
"Please examine your penis asap. Take a wiff. Would you stick that in YOUR mouth?"
If I could bend over that far, I'd probably never leave the house!!