Yes, this is w/o a doubt one of the least explored byways of hobby etiquette, but for what it's worth...

This happened one time last year in 2007.  i'm about to step into the shower, and wham! my intestines contract and I know I have got to get to the throne, sooner rather than later.  I squeeze the old sphincter as tight as I can and sit down as quickly as I can.  I void  with a shudder of relief. This is no place or time for anything approaching incontinence.  It is absolutely odiferous, it is that horrible jet-black combination of semi-solids and liquids, I can't imagine what i ate to produce that.  Well, I flush several times, thankfully there is bathroom tissue, and no splatter or skidmarks, and I very carefully begin the shower which was aborted so abruptly a few minutes earlier.  The ahole and the buttcrack receive much well-deserved attention, scrub-wise.

So i'm wondering, do any gents have problems with the idea of taking a sitdown, if necessary, at the provider's incall?  There are potential drawbacks.  It's not a event which conduces to the mood of fantasy.  It can be odiferous, and the odor might linger very inconveniently. Quite the embarrasment I would think. She could be out of bathroom tissue, and you can easily fill in the rest.  You might lead the telltale skidmarks in the bowl or splattermarks on the underside of the toilet seat, and have to root around for the toilet brush.

Yet again, that's what the WC is there for.  You can shower afterward, and if you flush as soon as you feel yourself beginning to evacuate, there's minimal exposure of odor particles to the atmosphere.  And why feel odd anyay?  If you felt ill and had to barf, you'd have no problem with rushing to the head, rather than blowing chunks and projectile vomiting oveer the young lady and her incall location.  This is just the backdoor version of that scenario.

Do/would any of the ladies take exception to a gent relieving himself in this manner?

Are/would the gents feel embarrassed being caught short in that situation and having to void?

Apologies, I realize that this topic might be of passing interest mostly to adolescent boys, would-be humorists and slice-of-life types, and the random gastroenterologist and protologist, but this does bear some thought. But not too much.  And one time only; I doubt if this is going to become a perrennial like, for example, questions re male size.

TY in advance

-- Modified on 7/5/2008 8:22:33 AM

having a good adolescent giggle?

A normal healthy person should have a good shit when they wake up in the morning before or after eating breakfast. You should change your diet so you can be regular every morning. That way you can take the extra time to clean your asshole out with a hot wash cloth with soap in it. Make sure you clean it good to avoid skid marks in your underwear.

Once, I had a provider come to see me.  Right before she got there I had to have a giant (and I mean GIANT) crap.  The smell was deadly.  I had to quickly brew some coffee to get rid of the smell.

It's best to answer. You are making way too big a deal out of this. Unless you are seeing ladies at some sleaze-bag hourly motel there is always plenty of bathroom tissue in the average hotel bathroom. If you leave a skid mark just grab some tissue, flush again and give the bowl a wipe for cryin' out loud.  It won't kill you! By the time you get out of the shower the odor will be gone...Oh yeah, don't forget to wash the crack while you are in there...

He gives me total grief about how I apparently don't have any control over my bowels, and that it isn't "normal" to shit as you please.  He stands proudly and proclaims how he only takes one dump everyday, basically first thing in the morning.  Since you're the second person I've ever heard mention this, can you really control your colon in that way?

To be honest, this isn't something that I shit, uh, I mean, sit around and worry about.  I just let nature take its course.  I've had several days go by without having to go, then gone multiple times in one day (just like I did yesterday!).  This excludes illness-based troubles or having a case of the trots.

Which reminds me;  gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!

If I eat some donuts or something with alot a bread before lunch and then have lunch I will have to go again like around 1:00 pm. I have a regular diet and exercise on a regular basis and regular sleep schedule that helps out to keep things regular.

. . . that is not always a good practice, especially when I try to poop when it is unnecessary.

I would push and squeeze and push, ending up with a small, pearl size poop stuck in my anus which I would have to reluctantly take with me to a date.

. . . and sometimes an evening poop before hitting the gym.

our various sexual moods, tendencies and hobbying escapades.

Alas, I've gotten crap.

-- Modified on 7/4/2008 6:18:58 PM

my grandfather, god bless him, was regular as clockwork.....he had a huge movement every day at 5 AM.....unfortunately, he never woke up until 7 AM......you know, old age is hard.....taking a dump and showering before seeing a fine lady is NO BIG DEAL>>>>>>>>>>

When nature calls, she doesn't always take kindly to being put on hold, especially for us older folks. Seriously, I try and purge before I go to the incall, especially if a prostate message is on the menu. I can't see a session getting off to a positive start with the words, "I've got to take a serious dump." (haha)

never closes the door, and delights in boisterous flatulence, and horrific odors.

-- Modified on 7/5/2008 9:07:45 AM

It does not bother me. we are all human. Shit happens!  Besides,  I have 2 bathrooms, one for you and one for me. It's all natural. I don't think it's a big deal at all. I do keep spray in my bathroom, plenty of soap, antibacterial gel, of course a shower. Clean towels, and yes,  I do keep extra TP for those special times.  LOL!  Funny post! But, ala naturalle....

Keep it real, and keep it clean!  

shelby

xo

Also, she needs tissue more than you do, so I'm sure there would be some there. Goodness, I would hope you would find tissue in her house.

Second, yes it's embarrassing but what can you do? When nature calls we cannot just pack up and rush home to shit (pardon the language). I have had that happen to me at a hotel. I certainly didn't want to hold it in for two hours so I did the deed. I immediately went in the shower and did a complete anal probing with soap and hot water. Well, you get the picture.

Don't be afraid to ask the provider for some air freshener. If you're really paranoid here's a little trick I learned from my brother: Bring matches with you and leave them in your pant pockets (near the shower). If you have a bowel movement, light a couple of matches. Presto! Most of the unfavorable scent disappears like magic (or at least helps). Apologize to her and say, "I'm sorry, my dear, but I couldn't wait."


Hugs,
Ciara

I exercise, usually poop in the morning, but I also have a nervous stomach. Some people have ulcers, some hiatel {sic} hernias, and some with a bad digestive tract that they cannot control. I'm sorry to say that although your advise is sound for most healthy people, it does not work for everyone.

Hugs,
Ciara

this may make me a prude, but i would totally freak out if a gent had a no. 2 in my incall (which happens to be my home). yes it's a bathroom reserved only for guests, and yes he can clean thoroughly afterwards, but such a thing would take me sooo far out of the mood and for so long that the date itself would be in question. now using the hotel facilities during an overnight or longer date, perfectly understandable. but having to "evacuate" so desperately during a brief 1 to 3 hour visit to my home, that's something else altogether. especially considering the sort of very intimate, attentive, detail-oriented service i provide...i don't think i'd want to see a gent with bowel issues.

Let's just hope that the unpleasant odors are the only things that go up in flames!!

Master is very pleased that you got it,and so am I.Master is so pleased in fact, that he's taken me to the dog run several times in the last 2 days,which he normally avoids like the plague.Something about goddamn yuppie asshole scum being too prevelaent there.They annoy him, as does pretty much everything in life these dayes.

Woof!

Works every time!!!!!!



-- Modified on 7/6/2008 10:36:11 AM

yeah, and he comes back and asks "Can we add prostate massage to the festivities?"

Ohm wait, the pressure hose remains outside his body?Never mind.

I think the provider would appreciate it more than exploding from 2 places at the Big O.   Leaving it in her bed, might be a turnoff if you were hoping for round 2  

Oh man! That's hysterical! Geez, what happened? At least you did not squeek one out during a BJ, that would be a disaster, lol! Take some Pepto wih you next time.

i'm still wondering what produced THAT.  The evening previously I had eaten some ice cream which had melted and been refrozen, and it never refreezes properly, and probably was not digested properly by my system. [Cookies n Cream, to be exact]. I mean, it traveled the last 12 feet of my large intestines in about 3 seconds.  I had to cinch my sphincter so tight, only the most determined showwer room gang rape at Attica would have busted it open.

Either that or a side effect of ED medication.

I ususlly just use the bathroom in the hotel lobby before and after the appointment.

I did take an SP with me on vacation once and after we had sex I had to take a dump. Being that we where sharing the room I had no choice.

A few months later we got into an argument over something stupid and she complained that it grossed her out.

No basically never again!