Definitely agree with this. If you’re getting off on porn but not with a provider stick with the porn. As much as the quality in service has dipped pertaining to providers in the past several years you’re actually better off.
I try and hobby once every two to three months . But my last several sessions have been rather dismal. Barely able to get it up and takes forever to pop. Last time I had a "good" session with nearly 2 pops in an hour was when I was 43. I am 47 now. My issues are:
1) Age related ED
2) Porn addiction ( though I had this problem all my life and my sessions in my 30s were ok )
3) Overall anxious/nervous personality ( takes me some time to calm down and relax )
4) Bargain hunter . Generally avoid seeing anyone over 300/hr. For me the experience is not worth it above that price point.
My options are:
1) Stop hobbying ( which is what I have done as I haven't seen anyone in 7 months )
2) Change what I do in my sessions. Maybe more massage, bring porn, stroke myself to get hard?
3) Switch to rub and tug AMPs? Easier on the wallet and no pressure to "perform".
I am not interested in the blue pill. Though that's what everyone seems to tell me, including a physician friend of mine..
Have you tried cocking rings, penis pump, role-play, maybe kink? I think anything different is worth a try. Get creative. Massage is fun. Milking…
Lay off the porn
Laying off the porn is hard as it helps me sleep, is enjoyable and free 
I can give it up 4-5 days before an appointment. But giving it up longer than that makes me question whether it's worth it just for a "good session".. I guess a case of can't having your cake and eat it
Oops. Reply to QB, but directed to the OP (original poster). Good info from others, but I will just add:
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Check out the "60 and Over Board." They don't do an age check and won't know that you're only in your 40s. Pop in, read through some threads, ask (and answer) questions.
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http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/60-and-over-64/trimix-bimix-injection-issues-29346
One of the recent posts near the top is about injectables to help with these sorts of issues. One brand name is Caverject; another is Trimix. You said you don't want pills. Are injectables OK? Read about others' experiences on "60 and Over."
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Another suggestion is to consult with a urologist who may know of some alternatives that better match your needs (or wants).
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Sometimes it's physical / biological. Sometimes it's mental. Hence, another suggestion is to see a psychologist, psychiatrist, or sex therapist, not to be confused with talking to a group of sex TERapists like us!
Have you tried cocking rings, penis pump, role-play, maybe kink? I think anything different is worth a try. Get creative. Massage is fun. Milking…
Just in case ... "So. Now vee may perhaps to begin. Yes?" is the last line of Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portnoy%27s_Complaint
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The picture is a screen cap from the movie version, Portnoy on the couch:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portnoy%27s_Complaint_(film)
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"So. Now vee may perhaps to begin. Yes?"
As you only do this occasionally, maybe consider going up to $400?
That's my price-point, and I feel like I'm at an all-you-can-eat clam dinner!
E2K
Maybe you consider eating right and getting into a regular exercise program. That could make a big difference.
Fortunately I am in excellent shape. Slightly below average weight and I work out most every day with running , walking etc..
If you're 47, in excellent shape, and at a good weight, my layperson's guess is that the ED is not from physical causes, or at least not primarily. I'd check in with a urologist, though, if you haven't already, and talk it over with your primary physician as well. ED can, among other things, be an early sign of cardiovascular illness. Not saying it is! But if anything like that is going on, the sooner it's discovered the better.
The one thing I would add in regards to lifestyle and fitness is, if you haven't done so you might consider adding strength training of some kind to the exercise regimen. There is some literature suggesting that adding muscle helps blood flow and testosterone production more than aerobic exercise alone. My preference -- guided, again, by my reading and to some extent my experience -- is for full-body workouts and compound exercises rather than isolation exercises where you're targeting just one muscle group. Moves like squats and kettlebell swings where you're working your core and lower body seem especially good. (Bodyweight and kettlebell workouts also have the advantage that you can do them at home and don't need a lot of space or expensive equipment.)
You mention "Change what I do in my sessions" as option 2. That's not a bad idea; even in civilian relationships, it's often said that sex changes as we age, but can still be good and even improve with time. Maybe expand that idea by seeking out providers who take it in stride when Mr. Happy doesn't snap to attention and who are open to being creative with what happens in a session. (I know that can be easier said than done.) I don't recall that you mentioned whether you repeat with providers or prefer someone new every time, but if you find somebody you click with it can be worthwhile becoming at least a semi-regular client. You can build a little trust that way, get more relaxed with each other, open a little space to experiment with what gives you pleasure.
I've been surprised at how many responses have included laying off the porn. I've always been skeptical of the whole idea of porn addiction and porn-induced ED, but a lot of smart and experienced guys here are saying it's real, and I'm starting to rethink my position.
But first of all, relax this isn't s sprint. Your points are very telling.
Seems you're putting too pressure on yourself getting all giddy and all. Here is where you're your own worse enemy,
You feel you have to perform like a porn star (Sorry but you ain't) and second it seems that because you have to act out this porn star image in your head, you're hoping to get the 2 bangs for the hour. Gotta get your money's worth, right?? Get that shit out of your head
And if I was you, thank god I'm not....do the little blue pill. Heard it works for all that ails you.
Now go find yourself a slump buster....someone who is inexpensive and ugly as fuck, after all it's 1:59 am and the bars are closing....lol
There many other options that are not on your list, but the best advice comes from Fisher . . . . lay off the porn. I have asked many providers why they don't see guys under 35 and the most common response is that they don't function well because they grew up watching internet porn, so the only way they are used to ejaculating is with a hand-job, and when the provider ends up resorting to that for the finish because you are not hard enough for penetration, she gets a bad review for a shitty session, but if she does the same things on her menu for older guys, she gets high scores.
Once you train your body that a hand-job (from yourself) is your preferred way to cum, that is going to be what it prefers, so Happy's suggestion of going with the rub and tug places may be your only option. Otherwise, you have to spend some time at Penis Re-education Camp to learn how to respond to a woman rather than just a hand. Porn is theatre, not reality. If you can stay off of it for a while, things might change when you are with a woman who has a mouth and pussy in addition to her hands.
I think you have pied ( porn induced ed). I had it years ago and when I stop watching porn everything came back. a good book to read is your brain on porn by gary wilson. he does a great job of explaining it. take a 60 or 90 day break from porn and you are on the way back. also there are many people who take the blue pill just for insurance.
On top of cutting back on porn (once a week is fine) you may have an enlarged prostate which I had as I'm the same age as the thread starter. Once I was treated for it with Finasteride my ability to maintain an erection and finish via peneration/bj returned.
I am very much in your boat as such last spring I completely stopped the hobby. about a month ago I started up again, and the most important thing is are you in the hobby to have intercourse and act like a young man or are you in the hobby to enjoy yourself.
Once you figure that out, you’re on your way to happiness, I chose to just enjoy myself because I’m NOT a young man anymore. I found a lady (Phoenix rising)who helps me immensely, and as such, I haven’t had an orgasm in quite a while but I enjoy my sessions immensely so first thing you have to do is decide what you want out of this
Get off the porn as it is a fantasy and sets your expectations well above what regular sex might be like. $ 300 for a good provider is not gong to happen in todays world. You need to find someone who attracts you and you can see repetitively to work through this. I can relate to your issues as at 65 I love to see a provider every week. I have found I enjoy it more if I wait two weeks. Waiting pays off in the end for me just like laying off the porn will for you. If the blue pill does not appeal to you try Cialis as it stays in your system much longer.
...fucking with a condom may not compare to your hand. You could need that skin to skin contact. BBFS isn't hard to find - try a K-girl. That way you could still be a bargain hunter.
And for your nervousness/anxiety, try some weed. It also makes you horny and increases your sensitivity to touch.
That will mess up your sessions.
Start walking every day for at least 20 minutes. Also get into weight training, it increases testosterone. Also a good diet and rest every day.
smoke some pot, stop jerking off and take a break from hobbying. I used my "take a break" money to buy some good bourbon. I like eagle rare and mckenna (10year). Blantons is nice too. It'll help with the nerves also, but I'm not a doctor.
Penis Pump, only AFTER you see a physician about your ED. As mentioned earlier, you may have a health issue.
Penis pump was mentioned in the first reply. I swear by mine. While I would prefer doing it the "old fashioned way" using the pump is great.
My head gets VERY engorged which some ladies enjoy. Another benefit is you can stay hard after you cum. When I am with ladies I have seen several times prior, more often than not, they will ride my cock until they orgasm.
Porn is cheaper lol. If your not enjoying it don’t do it?
Definitely agree with this. If you’re getting off on porn but not with a provider stick with the porn. As much as the quality in service has dipped pertaining to providers in the past several years you’re actually better off.
Very interesting that you referred to yourself as Bargain Hunter.. Are you not able to perform because you are not attracted to these bitches? Under $300 you are pretty much guaranteed to get some ugly ass women or Street Walkers.. This isn't like 20 yrs ago when I could get a hottie for $250. No wonder if you are not attracted to them you are not able to perform.
1 good session at $400-500 is a lot better than two lousy sessions at $250 is how I look at it..
And what's wrong with the blue pill? Why so much aversion to it? Does it make you feel less of a man or you are one of those who are dead against putting chemicals in their bodies?
-- Modified on 5/3/2023 10:48:03 AM
Like the last post, I’m curious as to why you’re not interested in the pill. A couple of years ago I started to lose my stamina (I’m now in my late 60s) so I gave it a try. It helps. I hobby infrequently so I’m not worried about side effects or the cost. And today with the generics, the price is doable. If you’re able to get off on porn, then I’m wondering if the porn hasn’t colored your expectations. Like others, I would suggest a hiatus at least a week before. At least that has helped me have a more eventful time. Also, as others have suggested, try spending a bit more, at least when you restart hobbying. A quality provider can make all the difference. I would be up front with the provider. If she’s really good, she’ll be attuned to your issues and try to help. Why jerk off yourself when a provider will be happy to relax you and do it for you.
Check your testosterone. It could be as simple as bringing the number up.
I am 60 y.o. and have none of these probs. Maybe the porn addiction but I would not call it addiction: I don't look at porn on my phone during work meetings. Now, that would be an addiction. I just like porn, especially the classic from 1980s
I'm sure providers don't care if you watch porn while they are working on you. Just do that.
thisisalloneword1234,
I have a few questions for you. I'm asking these questions, because maybe you need to change it up (Different Providers in between each PROVIDER that you are seeing now).
1) During the sessions......Did you feel rushed or had other things on your mind?
2) How many PROVIDERS do you see?
3) How was the session with each PROVIDER that you have been with?
JANET
TEXT: (609) 431-1393
Dude, I understand your plight, the attitudes of some providers who don't understand us. I personally get prescribed Cialis by my female PCP, it really works great also the landscape of the hobby has gotten colder and more scammers and conveyer belt type providers.
But I have also heard from providers that I've known for years , and there is fewer and fewer hobbyists looking to date them and have chosen other places where it's more a 1 on 1 and long term.
But don't give up on yourself.... do what makes you happy !
…was the same as yours once I got in my early 50s. Several things really helped me:
1. A daily walk for at least 30 minutes
2. Watch your diet
3. Big Blue. Viagra works very well for me. I’ll take it at a minimum of four hours after my last meal. Don’t eat anything fatty or greasy the day of. I use a pill splitter and take half a pill. I cut that half in half and take it about an hour and a half before my appointment. Right before the appointment I’ll crush up 1/8 of a pill just to put a little more lead in the pencil
4. No porn for 5-7 days before the appointment. Sometimes I’ll stop wanking for about 10 days.
5. I drink lots of water the day of
6. If you take blood pressure meds try to take them after your appointment. With that in mind, I like to schedule my appointments before noon
All is not lost. Just tinker with some of these variables and you’ll be fine.
I use a pill splitter and take half a pill. I cut that half in half and take it about an hour and a half before my appointment. Right before the appointment I’ll crush up 1/8 of a pill just to put a little more lead in the pencil