I run a small but not too small business and want to hire a provider in a management level position.  I think providers are some of the best business people I know; self sufficient, savvy, willing to take risks, profit oriented, people oriented and even she's a dash of BSC is fine and in fact preferred lol.   Some would say I am too.  And in fact, I’m talking to someone I know very well right now about the job and the discussions are pretty serious.   I don’t know if she’ll take it but I’d say there’s at least a 50/50 chance.  

Yep, I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind, but there's just as good a chance (well, almost as good a chance) that it could be me in the headline, so I just have to say to myself if this is the life I've chosen for me then the risk is worth it as fair is fair.

compartmentalize

First, I wouldn't let the way that you met influence you too much.  Many providers have real life jobs and/or retire and join the work force.  But, since you do know about her website, I would let her know if she wants the job she needs to either quit escorting completely or go utr - no web presence.  

You should t have a problem finding someone else. There's just way to many things that can go wrong with your idea. Some have already been discussed and I'm sure more post will ad how this hire could turn into a disaster.

Of course there's the additional control you could exert over her because you know about her other life or past or whatever and she'll be counting on you to keep that secret no matter what. And of course she'll be grateful. Might express that gratitude in a variety of ways, like as the end-of-the-year bonuses are being negotiated, or when your heart gets broken by your next fling and only a blowjob can set your world right again. And all the happy memories you can share over cocktails at office parties.

As you say, undoubtedly providers go to school before or while providing and get degrees/training for a reason and I really consider for someone with their head on straight, providing to a positive.  I like smart, risk takers.  And I like your approach about how to handle the discussion.  Thank you!

You're walking in with both eyes open. You can suggest she be more UTR if that's a serious concern to you..  

You're right, there are some things that can definitely go wrong.  But at the same time I have known her for a good while and while of course anything can go bad, and there is an element of risk in most things, and probably more here than elsewhere,  this is the sort of job where I have no doubt she'd be great.  Is she the only one for the job - probably not.  But she's a known quantity to me and I like what I know from a purely business sense.  

Yes, it's very easy to make a bad hire from a couple of interviews and a resume. Especially when what they do will involve lots of high level customer contact.  But when you have had a chance to gauge someone's professionalism, and their attention to detail and quality in their own business, it is as you say, a leg up.  

you can resist her charms, she is very likely to want to refer to them again and the outcome could be:

1.  You succumb and suffer the manipulation that can entail or....

2.  You successfully resist, and then end up with, in the words of Congreve:  "...a woman scorned...."  Guess what that will be like.

You are a risk taker, that's for sure, but there are risks and there are follies.  I think this idea falls into the latter category.

Which ever way you decide, best of luck with it.  I do appreciate bringing this unusual situation to the board.

If not, then it is a very different situation.

Of course, you are an exceptional person.  Knowing what I do about you, I'd have no concern regarding your judgment.

So she is pretty open and it seems that her privacy is not important to her (I based this on her telling you her real name on your first meeting). I have guys ask me often what my real name is. I always have a fake name for them as to me, that is none of their business. I am a very private person and a utr provider though I have been at it since 2004. Did you ever think that if she does continue to see clients that she would tell them of her new job that her client so and so gave her and here is where she works? You take a chance hiring anyone be it in this biz or not but if you hire her, at least go over with her about being quiet and not telling anyone (her clients) where she works or who hired her. Otherwise good luck and update us when you do hire her

Hey man, I usually am really good with what you say but here I think you are a bit off base, though I won't take it personally.  I am not looking for expressions of gratitude.  I don't want to exert any control.  It's a job.  She wins and my company wins.  Actually, while I would never imagine holding a secret we share over her head, in fact, as I have contemplated this I think she has way more leverage over me if I wanted to think that way.  And resumes are often not worth the paper they're written on in my opinion.  

it is asking for trouble to have any sort of non-escort relationship with an escort.   Likewise, it is a mistake to have a relationship with a co-worker.  it can not go well.  it can only go bad

Yes, she told me her name.  And she's not the first.  And I don't know why as I didn't ask as I never do.  But yes, I would want her to not tell a client where she works or her name; that would be pretty important.  

It's not up to you to tell her, her business, but without you getting involved in her provider life you could (behind closed doors) suggest strongly that her pictures aren't discreet enough.  If she isn't allowed to reveal where she works (and most provoders don't reveal this) say so.  You are taking a risk with her but as you say the world is full of former providers.    

No upside. Enormous downside.  You'll end up hooking up with her again.  You will regret that.  

In fact I have hired at least one former sex worker with multiple arrests with her face on the front of busted and her name in multiple local papers and on a nightly news cast, when SLC busted 20 something ladies over a weekend and wanted to brag. I think it is stupid not to hire someone for a victimless crime

As usual, you are the one who gives me cause to reflect.  Actually this entire branch does, so thank you all.   I never worried, perhaps foolishly, about my ability or inability to resist her as I figured I'd just find my fun elsewhere, but it never occurred to me that if she is anxious to play (perhaps for fun, perhaps to manipulate though I'd guess not but still, who knows), and I am not then it could be an ugly picture.    

I think you are definitely correct about never discussing our 'prior life' again.  And as Mr. Fisher said, hopefully she won't want to discuss it either.

but my answer to "can you live with that?? is a resounding YES. Everyone already knows I am a whore mongering pig, and I make ZERO effort to hide it.

I am sometimes literally ashamed of the company I keep, and I am NOT talking about the hookers.

I agree with you 100% I too have hired hookers and exhookers and I hope I have the opportunity to do so again in the future.

some people need to get off their high fucking horse around here

I think this is the critical piece.  Hiring an escort one has no connection with is a lot less complicated although not without complications such as the photos and all.   But here there's a situation where the OP has made an offer to someone he has a relationship with, and this has a set of complications all its own whether it's with a provider, a mistress, or a spouse.

Don't do it;  just walk away.  It would be very different if you had not seen her professionally.  Since you have been intimate with her, a labor lawyer would basically accuse you of sexual harassing her;  in fact, she could just abruptly quit one day and serve you the next with a complaint about a hostile workplace environment.   That you had not promoted and compensated her because she would not put out again.   And she would probably win because she could probably prove that you did f*ck her.  

More than that she was a friend and is to this day. She still works for me. She is no longer an escort.

But it seems like there is just too much history.
If the work performance goes a little bad, then what would happen?
You both have something on each other, and I think despite the good-intentions by both of you, it does make for a bit of a weak foundation on which to build the best work relationship.

I'm glad to know that you all have done this and you seem to have survived quite well and are not in lawsuit hell, though I'm not ignoring the fact that lawsuit hell exists.  

you mentioned she would be in customer relations. What if you find out she is fucking your customers, with or without additional compensation, to get a better outcome of whatever her role is with the client? More sales, better customer satisfaction, etc.

gday there hun

Regardless of the relationship they had in the past (remember, regardless of the service provided, it was a business relationship; it's not like he's hiring his girlfriend, which could be construed as nepotism.), I feel like there's not enough credit given to someone who actually has the foresight to hire someone who is qualified and competent for a job regardless of the job candidate's past or present dealings.  That takes guts. And with those guts comes the knowledge that certain areas are now off-limits; if he wants to proposition her, he certainly can.  She can also counter with a lawsuit, and that counter has no bearing on their past because she didn't work for him in the past.  But, assuming that the OP is a professional businessman, he wouldn't be doing such things.  He'd be treating her as the employee he hired to do the job, hopefully.  

The thing is, your P4P relationship puts you in a position of having leverage over the employee beyond what's defined in the employer/employee work situation whether you use and abuse that leverage or not. And your work relationship will go through changes, as I'm sure you are aware of. In two or three years it might look different at some stressful time, and you might want to avoid that. That's all.

You lucky bastard...I wish I would have thought of that...the new casting couch!!!

It's more of an account management position with existing accounts.  No commission so I would imagine little or no incentive to fuck the customers to get a better outcome.  I'd like to think she wouldn't and I guess I'll have to leave it at that.   My bigger concern in this area was that she would walk into an account and see someone she's fucked already, but I think the chances are remote enough for me not to worry.  

You know, this would be a brilliant plan as a new casting couch except for one thing - haha, I'm actually giving up sex with the person I'm hiring.   So as you can see, my work isn't in the field of porn, although I am a big fan.

set up a trust fund for her and keep fucking her. It's obvious you have feelings for her and to think you can turn this into strictly an employer/employee situation is somewhat naive, imho. At the moment, you feel great and she feels great, but as the relationship changes so will all the euphoria. How will you feel when, for whatever reason, you have to let her go?

Ha, I never thought of the trust fund angle; actually I'm still waiting for someone to do that for me!    

second thoughts if your business is in the public eye.

I'm one of your employees you're carrying. Then I say, Carry On!!!!

Ha, these are two beloved employees where if I cut them loose the staff would be heartbroken and also wonder if they were next.  Every situation is unique and as I see it has to be evaluated in the short and long term.   So if you were here you would surely be beloved too and no doubt we would carry you as well lol.  Of course, they do have to work, it's just that through no fault of their own they're not as good as they once were.   But then again, neither am I!

I would say go for it.  A bunch of the things you said ring true, including the part about knowing a person being more important than whatever the resume said.  In addition, you both sound mature enough to be able to handle it without too much stress.  

It sounds to me that you plan to treat her as you would any other employee (no physical relationship, no meddling in her personal life, all that jazz), so I don't see the issue.  

-- Modified on 1/31/2015 7:08:59 PM

presented here and you sound like someone astute enough to have weighed all the pros and cons by now. I say go for it. If you're concerned about any of the points brought up here, you'll mull them over, and maybe even discuss one or two with her. As far as her web presence, just ask that she crop her photos below her nose. Unless she has a very notable mouth, that's enough to completely disguise anyone. As far as her sharing her name, it could be lack of discretion on her part or her spidey senses told her you were fine to share that info with. Only you and she can determine which it was.  

Work that well many have damage hands. They can't lift blocks They can Check at the pistons  slower than the average Inspector. But my job is so boring I love herring there back in the day story when Ad were free and brothels Paid them to show up and there are still gold digging In there 50's.

I have done exactly what you are looking to do years ago. If you want to talk confidentially send me an email and we can talk in private. Not knowing your type of company and situation it is difficult to offer advice. My email is [email protected] if you are interested.

How about where you don't want to,hire the provider for your business.  But you do want to "hire" the provider because see her a lot, and wanna kinda retain her, because you see her regular and dot want to think about the money all the time?

And can pay her LLC legit, instead of $$ in the envelope?

Or am I asking for trouble?

I love this idea, as a role play thing. Not for real.

Hey Joe, yes, I think I have had the same talk with myself and I think we did actually arrive at the same place as mature adults in this.  Like I said at first, she may not take it after all this, as maybe the thought of a job like this is not for her, but it sounds like she's seriously weighing it in view of all her other needs as we both know life gets complicated sometimes.  And in many ways I think she'd really like to do it as she took the time to go to school for work like this.

If I was my lawyer I'd be saying the same thing.  Thing is, lawyers deal with the .001% of the situations that go bad until they ultimately live in a world where all they see are the potential downside of everything; not the situations that work out, as no one ever goes to see a lawyer when things are fine.  But someone has to ring the warning bell and lo and behold sometimes lawyers are right.   And yet, many times they're not and life goes on.  

Keep personal and professional life separate from hobby life.  Bad idea, very bad idea.

With the behavior of many women in the workplace, I can certainly understand the trepidation voiced by many of the men in this thread concerning your prospective hire. However, if you have known this woman long enough, I think you, as a successful businessman can judge as to whether or not she would be a good and loyal candidate. One would hope she will find extreme value in your offer, and her gratitude would be foremost in her conduct within your enterprise. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that she considers you a good friend as much as you obviously regard her. I hope this works out. Sounds like she is a very lucky lady!

But I guess you can't pass up an opportunity to post your link.

LOL...I am definitely old enough to get the reference.

I've done this before, with both strippers and providers, and it turned out very well in each instance. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
 
I always put them in a line job directly in the path of revenue generation. That way I set them up for success in what they all do so well, which is go get that cheese. Not sure how that would work out in a staff AM position though, not even sure I'd want to waste their natural talent there either.

I agree that the entrepreneurial spirit and ability to deal well with difficult people/situations would lend itself to more of a revenue generating position, but this is the one that's available and if she grows an account or two in the process then that will be great for me, and she would be rewarded as well... just as with any other employee.   This will be an interesting next week or two as we'll get this figured out, or not.