Twas the night before Christmas, 
And all through the house, 
Everybody felt shitty, 
Including the mouse.

With mom at the whore house
And Dad smoking grass,
I'd just settled down 
For a nice piece of ass.

When out on the lawn 
I heard such a clatter,
I sprung from my piece
To see what was the matter.

Then out on the lawn,
I saw a big dick,
And I knew in a moment
That it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney 
Like a bat out of hell,
And I knew right away
That the fucker had fell.

He filled all our stockings 
With pretzels and beer,
And a big rubber dick
For my brother, the queer.

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart; 
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart!

He swore and he cursed,
As he rode out of sight,
"Piss on you all,
And have a hell of a night!"

T'was the night before Christmas, and I'm alone here in bed;
No clients are calling, the phone is quite dead.

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care;
I just took a peek -no envelopes there.

It seems all the guys, since they had their druthers;
Choose Christmas at home with their significant others.

So if I cannot give pleasure to some horney chap;
I'll just settle in for a long winter's nap.

Then out on the street there arose such a clatter;
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash;
Could someone be seeking some fine Christmas ass?

When what to my wondering eyes should appear;
My dear fellow posters bringing joy and good cheer.

There's Curly and Nicky and Perfect and Crazy;
London and Clarence oh the names get quite hazy.

We have Cullen and Back-in, MacDaddy and Cubbie;
The list can go on, it's really most cluby.

Even Saturn and Hotplants just happened by;
(They mistook when they heard I'd be serving up pie)

And let's not forget the head of this troop;
Our own CPA - direct from the Loop.

So while the spirit still glows, this toast I propose;
Merry Christmas to all, now lets take off our clothes!

it's Saint Nick.  Ho!  Ho!  Ho!

where? where? where?

Rasha! Rasha! Rasha!  She is The Real Deal.

Well, that explains the Yule Log. (the ho knows)

-- Modified on 12/24/2012 11:31:23 PM

-- Modified on 12/25/2012 12:02:52 AM

I just copied and pasted my poem! Yours took some talent!  But I am happy my stolen prose inspired you. Have an awesome day!

Perfect, yours was terrific, but RR topped you.

I ROFL'd at both!

my poem got zero likes and yours got 6!
You are awesome!

If you didn't show me yours, I wouldn't have shown you mine.

I in my nitie all snug in my bed drifting fast off to sleep
With thoughts of Santa Claus all in my head
The excitement of him sneaking in late at night
Bearing gifts a shear delight.

I awoke with the Startle to find Saint Nick there
He was twitching his nose with a smooth " ho ho ho!"
I thought to myself ... now how does she know?
Well, Santa sees all both naughty and nice
And I guess you saw me to fucked me twice!

Going down on me he stopped with a pause,
Saying "Remember my Dear don't tell Mrs.Claus!"
He slipped out of this suit under the covers
My surprise Santa's is very good lover!

As Santa get dressed he's turned to me and said
You're very naughty girl the to give great head!
He hopped in his sleigh and if he drove out of sight
Saying "If you're this good next year I just might stay all night!"
                                                                Nicole Kelly.