In a previous thread I was called a cheating bum and probably worse. Why does the hooker get a free pass? If a bartender serves a drink to a guy and has no idea he is an alcoholic the bartender is blameless. OTOH, if the bartender knows the customer is an alcoholic he is facilitating alcoholism.
Most escorts know their clients are married. Many of us tell them so they will be discreet. Is the cheating husband all at fault or is the escort equally at fault for facilitating the adultery? Personally I don't feel guilty since it's not cheating unless you are stupid enough to get caught! Should the hooker feel guilty for facilitating adultery and profiting from it
Personal responsibility is the lynchpin of any civilized society. You can't shift blame to others for your moral shortcomings.
-- Modified on 7/22/2015 8:26:46 PM
Why does it even matter if the hooker is also culpable in your cheating, either you feel guilty about cheating or you don't. If you do feel guilty, does blaming the hooker really make you feel any better? and if you don't feel guilty, then there is no reason to place any guilt on either party.
We each own our own mud, It would never even occur to me to blame someone else for any of my many character flaws. Hookers are not responsible for my whore mongering. bartenders aren't responsible for my drinking, and dealers and/or bookies are not responsible for my gambling.
A 'free pass'? A provider risks a lot by seeing you. But morally/ethically, she's not the one who made the marriage vows. You can't hang your adultery on her.
Personal responsibility is the lynchpin of any civilized society. You can't shift blame to others for your moral shortcomings.
You're cheating. That fact is independent of whether or not you get caught. Here's the good news: you have a lot of company, cheating husband. My guess is your wife probably knows you're cheating but stays with you anyway. Take her on a nice vacation. She's earned it. --z
-- Modified on 7/22/2015 8:26:46 PM
We each own our own mud, It would never even occur to me to blame someone else for any of my many character flaws. Hookers are not responsible for my whore mongering. bartenders aren't responsible for my drinking, and dealers and/or bookies are not responsible for my gambling.
and if you do feel guilty, blaming the hooker doesn't let you anywhere near off the hook. So what's the point?
and for the record, I don't share in any of the blame, I don't cheat, I accomplish this by not making promises I know I can't or won't keep. That said, I don't pretend to be anyone else's moral compass. i am sure the last person you need approval from is some nameless faceless whore monger from an internet fuck board.It would be an SB or civi. If I guy wants to cheat he'll find someone.
Most escorts know their clients are married. Many of us tell them so they will be discreet. Is the cheating husband all at fault or is the escort equally at fault for facilitating the adultery?
Personally I don't feel guilty since it's not cheating unless you are stupid enough to get caught! Should the hooker feel guilty for facilitating adultery and profiting from it?
We each own our own mud, It would never even occur to me to blame someone else for any of my many character flaws. Hookers are not responsible for my whore mongering. bartenders aren't responsible for my drinking, and dealers and/or bookies are not responsible for my gambling.
and for the record, I don't share in any of the blame, I don't cheat, I accomplish this by not making promises I know I can't or won't keep. That said, I don't pretend to be anyone else's moral compass. i am sure the last person you need approval from is some nameless faceless whore monger from an internet fuck board.
I already have a Sugar Baby. I still see hookers. You are right, if a guy wants to cheat he's gonna do it
I am in a long and good marriage without sex for as long as I can to remember ( I believe Truman has just beaten Dewey.) I have had friends with benefits which on occasion has led to unhappiness on the part of the friend who became a real lover and this was unfair to her.
Now, I hobby and have a few friends with benefits who have no interest in disrupting their marriage and I have had wonderful experiences with some providers. I am not longer furious with my wife. Our family stays happily together. The providers offer me lovely and rewarding company and they receive professional compensation and what I hope is a pleasant experience that leaves them feeling at least 1/10 as good as it leaves me feeling. Everyone involved seems to benefit: me, wife,children and grandchildren, and I hope the provider (in the way I enjoy my time with my parents.)
Where is the guilt? where is the victim?.
If a girl knows a guy is trying to stop, but keeps contacting him to tempt him to see her so she can make money, with no regard to his new direction, "oh baby, just one last time, here's a naked Selfie of me using a dildo. I wish it were you." *fishface Selfie* *sad face* "I miss you, please come see me, forget your wife for a moment"
That is blatantly, knowingly being the cause. If a guy is reaching out to an advertised escort, and she says sure, and he isn't trying to stop seeing escorts, and she is not trying to get in the way of his marriage, I suppose there is less moral code being broken. It boils down to intent on both sides. Let's turn it around. Let's say a girl is trying to move on from escorting, but a guy constantly contacts her, waiving money in her face, and does it at times he knows she's vulnerable... She falls. He may have more to do with her return than if he were booking with someone still in the business. If both are fully in it, and fully intending to live this lifestyle as safe and respectful as possible, I say the heart of the matter is completely different.
Most escorts know their clients are married. Many of us tell them so they will be discreet. Is the cheating husband all at fault or is the escort equally at fault for facilitating the adultery?
Personally I don't feel guilty since it's not cheating unless you are stupid enough to get caught! Should the hooker feel guilty for facilitating adultery and profiting from it?
Where is the guilt? where is the victim?.
Based on your puritanical Judaeo Christian crap
Dick size is brought up all the time here, too. Does that mean you're going to start a thread on who's responsible for dicks being of various sizes?
Also, I think it's terrible that some bastard put a gun to your head and forced you to start a thread on how "hookers" facilitate cheating.This comes down to personal responsibility, something that has seemed to leave this country. You and only you are responsible for your marriage and the risk you take in losing it. If you get caught, the ladies whose service you chose to use isn't at fault. Much like a bartender CAN'T get in trouble for serving a know alcoholic, they CAN get in trouble for serving an obvious intoxicated person. (I do have 10 years bartending experience) The provider isn't at fault if you get caught. If you go and blow money at Kohls that you KNOW was meant to pay the mortgage, the store isn't at fault, YOU are.
It's up to you to do your homework and choose trusted providers. YOU are responsible for which provider YOU choose to spend time with and any personal consequences you may have. I'm not going to argue if it's cheating or not, that really is in the eye of the beholder. If you feel it's cheating is for you to decide, I have no business commenting on what you believe. Everyone has their own ideas of what cheating is, some people have more of an open minds than others. Regardless, the bottom line is it doesn't matter what I or anyone else believes is cheating, the only person's opinion you have to worry about is your wife's if you get caught. I don't judge any of my clients and honestly, their personal life, including if their married, is none of my business. My job is to provide a great rendezvous and protect your info until your screened...then I delete and destroy. The moral of the story here is, YOU have to make the right choices if YOU want a positive experience with a provider. IF your choices aren't getting you what you want, make different ones until they do. It's all up to you!!!Most escorts know their clients are married. Many of us tell them so they will be discreet. Is the cheating husband all at fault or is the escort equally at fault for facilitating the adultery?
Personally I don't feel guilty since it's not cheating unless you are stupid enough to get caught! Should the hooker feel guilty for facilitating adultery and profiting from it?
And, why do you stop at putting blame on providers only with respect to their married clients? In many religions, sex outside of marriage is a big no-no. Also p4p is illegal in almost the entire USA. So why not blame the "hookers" for dragging people into sin and into breaking the law?
and then ask whether you and the woman are equally guilty?
That seems a wee bit contradictory. If your own actions and beliefs are in alignment, then you will not have guilt. This applies equally to every person standing in judgment of themselves. The problem is trying to judge others. No one has the same beliefs you do, nor should they. Judging others against your own beliefs and standards may make you feel superior, but it has zero to do with making anyone else "guilty". Judge not, lest you be judged
The problem is trying to judge others. No one has the same beliefs you do, nor should they. Judging others against your own beliefs and standards may make you feel superior, but it has zero to do with making anyone else "guilty". Judge not, lest you be judged?
Was it a hooker who asked if you felt guilty?
If not then you are not "returning" anything, you are simply deflecting. There is a huge difference between the two.I didn't start my hobby until after my divorce, of all our problems I didnt feel she deserved to be betrayed. But that's my integrity and I don't impose that on others, nor do I judge those that do, far be it for me to judge anyone.
I've never had a provider contact me for a date, and so that means I've always contacted them, two absolutes that are absolute. This puts 100% of responsibility and accountability on me. Own your life man, pull up your big boy pants and take ownership of your actions. There's no one to blame for your lot in life, live well.Your logic, or lack thereof would suggest that all bakers should go out of business because they are contributing to an obese society.
"Only you can prevent forest fires", there's a brilliant message within that quote from Smokey the Bear, I wonder if you can find it? You take ownership and responsibility for your actions, be accountable to them and allow the rest of us to do the same, it's called being a grown up.
If not then you are not "returning" anything, you are simply deflecting. There is a huge difference between the two.
thank you for recycling topics that would otherwise be clogging up our landfills or killing the blue-footed booby
-- Modified on 7/23/2015 7:14:19 AM
By that logic, if I killed someone and got away with it they would not have been murdered. Your "logic" is remarkable.
First of all, why do you care what other people think about you? Believe me man, that's a complete waste of time and energy. It seems that it would only bother you if in fact you think you are a cheater.
This is YOUR life man, own it. Lead, follow or get the fuck out of the way!
This is YOUR life man, own it. Lead, follow or get the fuck out of the way!
Let me try to be as delicate as possible here, "The hookers" did not make a promise to be faithful to your wife... you did. End of story. If I had a husband, I would also be lying to someone, but I don't have one. If we did not exist, men would still find a way to get laid. You have all pretty much said you can't live without it, so you would find some other ho to fk.
Most escorts know their clients are married. Many of us tell them so they will be discreet. Is the cheating husband all at fault or is the escort equally at fault for facilitating the adultery?
Personally I don't feel guilty since it's not cheating unless you are stupid enough to get caught! Should the hooker feel guilty for facilitating adultery and profiting from it?
I was not comparing murder to cheating on a spouse, which is blatantly obvious to everyone but you. I was illustrating how your statement was intellectually bankrupt. Thanks for playing.
Do you feel any better today than yesterday? Has your life, liberty and overall happiness been elevated?
I am not judging you man, there is no way I am on any moral high ground to do so. I am simply making observations. There is only one person you have control over, you look at that person every day in the mirror. Concern yourself with the person in the mirror, life is so much easier, so much less complicated if you do so. Live your life to your own integrity and don't impose that on anyone else.and I will repeat, "You are not returning the favor" you are deflecting. I am the one who called you a "lying cheating husband" I don't see any reason for me to back off that statement since you don't seem to want to even try to refute it. So rather than "returning the favor" for a statement that "I" made, you are trying to deflect your guilt onto the hooker/s that you claim "enable" you.
Damn, you are such a fucking pussy, not to mention an ubersensitive pussy to boot. Boo hoo, some mean man and some random hooker were mean to me today on the internet, Dude you REALLY need to grow a pair. If you are going to sling back this virtual mud as you claim, you have a horrible fucking aim.I agree with you. Still the hooker is facilitating the cheating. It takes two to tango. That does not make the hooker worse than the monger. Just because the husband might have found some other "Ho" to fuck does not change the fact that said hooker is facilitating cheating. There are no free passes for either party. That does not mean either party should feel guilty about it. It depends on how you look at marriage. I don't consider infidelity a big deal but some people do.
Most escorts know their clients are married. Many of us tell them so they will be discreet. Is the cheating husband all at fault or is the escort equally at fault for facilitating the adultery?
Personally I don't feel guilty since it's not cheating unless you are stupid enough to get caught! Should the hooker feel guilty for facilitating adultery and profiting from it?
as the way you go after a cock! LMAO!
I have to crawl before I walk lol. Just saying though. If I was cheating on my BF/Husband, it would not be the guy's fault. If it was not him, it would be someone else. It's just that simple. If one liquor store refuses to serve me, I move on to the next one. As humans with urges, I think we all can admit that we will get what we are after one way or the other. If anything, most providers (the sane ones) want nothing to do with a married man who is already cheating on someone else. I mean, cmon. I don't judge anyone, but I will admit to having never cheated. I am too brutally honest to lie to someone, and a part of me would want them to know just how fkin bored I was in the relationship.
No, I did not lol. YOU are on a sex board. YOU went out SEARCHING for sex with hookers... we did not come to you. It is not MY problem that you can't stay off of adult sites... it's your problem. Now, if we met in a bar and I attacked your ass you might have a point about facilitating, but I am afraid that is not the case here. I am promoting sex for money, not sex for money with ONLY married men. I don't ask if my clients are married.
I didnt think I could be any more turned on by you than I already was, I was mistaken.
Confidence, intelligence and everything else you bring is incredibly sexy, I'm not sucking up, ok maybe a little.Zero accountability, is more like it. Anyone claiming to not think cheating is all that bad, would not be this hell bent on blaming others or making justifucations for their actions. I don't think cheating is bad either, but I have also never done it. Hats off to any of you who can be in a relationship that long without cheating... fk, I would go nuts just being in one.
Anyone who has to hold on to someone else for security, finances, fear of being alone etc. is a coward IMO. I would rather just be alone doing my own thing than have someone thinking I am all I profess to be, just to find out it was all a lie. I don't need a partner or a friend that bad to have to lie to keep them there, but that's just me. I have actually used this profession as a reason to get rid of the last few guys who wanted to get a bit more serious. Though I did not tell them I was LR, I told them enough to know I am not exactly the LTR type.
Damn, you are such a fucking pussy, not to mention an ubersensitive pussy to boot.
Boo hoo, some mean man and some random hooker were mean to me today on the internet, Dude you REALLY need to grow a pair.
If you are going to sling back this virtual mud as you claim, you have a horrible fucking aim.
The definition of facilitate is "to make easy or easier". On certain levels, hookers do certainly facilitate cheating, but that's only if you've got enough cash to pay to play. Hookers only facilitate cheating for tricks who can afford to cheat.
But again, youre redirecting responsibility here. A hooker is doing her job. Her job is to fuck people who pay her to do so. You aren't paying her to "facilitate your cheating". you're paying her to fuck you. We are available, should the need arise. While we advertise for clients, we don't actively pursue people, begging them to cheat on their significant others so that we can fuck them. THAT would be the true definition of facilitation of cheating. Free pussy + active pursing of committed person= facilitated cheating.
You ask if the hookers "share in the guilt" well if there is no guilt, there's nothing to share.
Your "position" here is all over the fucking map. As for "calling you names' if you don't want to be called a pussy, don't whine like one. If you've got an issue with me calling you a "lying cheating husband" a man would have dealt with it in one of two ways, You could have either denied it, but since I was right, that option is out. Or you could have simply said that your "lying and cheating" was none of my fucking business. but no, you took the sissy route here and tried to deflect my comments by claiming that the hookers "share the guilt" THAT is why I called you a pussy.That's right... I am marketing my services on a fk board that YOU had to join lol. Sorry bro, but no one held a gun to your head and told you to watch porn, read hooker ads, contact hookers and pay hookers. That's all on you, I am afraid. If I decide I have a problem with alcohol guess what... I avoid places and people that partake. If I don't want to cheat on my mate, I guard my actions and don't put myself in situations that would tempt me even more. Does blame shifting really make you feel better about what you're doing? I mean, you said you did not feel bad in the first place, but only a person with turmoil would be this hell bent on blaming others. Again, these sites were designed for men to cheat and I don't use twitter, facebook or any other non-adult sanctioned site to market my services so if you happen to come upon my ads, it's because YOU sought out such sites that housed escorts.
One day I am gonna have to deliver on that bbbj lol.
If you don't consider infidelity a big deal, then why would you start and cultivate this discussion?
I think you're a liar, that's my opinion, I didn't charge you for it and that's what it's worth.
Anyone who has to hold on to someone else for security, finances, fear of being alone etc. is a coward IMO. I would rather just be alone doing my own thing than have someone thinking I am all I profess to be, just to find out it was all a lie. I don't need a partner or a friend that bad to have to lie to keep them there, but that's just me. I have actually used this profession as a reason to get rid of the last few guys who wanted to get a bit more serious. Though I did not tell them I was LR, I told them enough to know I am not exactly the LTR type.
Actually, since you seem to be hanging on my every word and writing a book about all things LR, my two marriages were six months and eight months lol. And, I have an idea of the concept of being friends and a partner, but it's not for me. I don't need to smell someone's shit and wake up to matching towels every day to feel secure or still get the benefits of being friends, lovers etc. with someone. That's a joke the older generation bought into, and 80 percent of them are now on TER. Ha, no thanks.
I thought I lost out on you for good once, I'll not let that happen again. Yummy.
but I wasn't really joining the discussion as much as I just found it an amusing opportunity to plug your BBBJ skills
Here is what I will admit to.... I rent the hotel room and show up... the rest is on the guy. I am one of thousands of escorts who will allow 'certain' men to fk me for money and I keep my mouth shut about it. That's about it.
Now, for the guy's part... 1. He has to email or PM me and provide screening info that is up to my standards,(usually other escorts he has already cheated with lol). 2. He has to see me when "I" am available at the designated place that "I" choose. 3. He has to pay me the rate that "I" made up and he has to agree to the etiquette and services I am willing to offer... sounds like a fk load of work on his part, and very little on mine lol. Now, about that facilitate theory? All we do is put up a website or an ad... the rest is a lot of hoop jumping on the guy's part to even get in the door. Easy my ass lol. Ask anyone who has tried to book with me that I did not already know from TER, and see how 'easy' it is. Poor thing has a better chance of meeting someone in the supermarket and her fkin him that same day. LR does not offer same day appts. ha ha. It is easier to pick up a drunk chick in a bar and fk her in the back seat, than to see most quality providers these days. That's a fact. I mean think about it... if a guy wants an appt. on Wed. most hookers want his info. and confirmation 12 hours in advance. They also want screening info. ter handle, sometimes full name and employment and a freaking deposit. That'seasy? Joke of the century. Easy is waiting til I have had a bottle of wine and jump in the hot tub at 10pm... just saying lol.
And it looks like I am twice as smart as you as it only took me one marriage to figure out that the pan was hot, don't touch it again. lol
Of course my one marriage most likely cost me a LOT more than both of yours, so maybe I am not so smart after all?
It will be a damn shame. Almost as much of a shame as if OTM does write one.
And good point on his incessant use of the word "hooker." "Hooker" is like "Jew," there's the way guys like GaG use it, and then there's the way this jackass uses it. I suspect if he said it out loud it he'd spit it more than say it. Damaged goods.Or what their opinions are about anything else. Lol!
....." to forsake all others" or "to death do us part" or what other marriage vows might say. It has been so long since I took mine I can't remember. (Speaking of memory, has anyone seen my car keys? 8o) )
My point is the hooker is not guilty for actions of the johns infidelity
And good point on his incessant use of the word "hooker." "Hooker" is like "Jew," there's the way guys like GaG use it, and then there's the way this jackass uses it. I suspect if he said it out loud it he'd spit it more than say it. Damaged goods.
...don't feel the need to say so.
Responsible for my actions, and for my cheating, the people i cheated with had nothing to do with my decision. i KNEW what i was doing and i KNEW what it would do to my wife when she found out, I take ALL THE BLAME, and weather or not i got "caught" or not , it was STILL cheating, when you make a vow to love, and honor and be faithful to someone and you break that vow, it si CHEATING, i am so thankful that my wife forgave me and chose to give me another chance, and i will NEVER EVER do something like that to her again. I CHEATED and i own it!!!!
... it's the Devil who made me do this. It's all his fault. lol
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How we mean it won't change how most people hear it. I don't use those terms myself because I'm not comfortable with them, and I think they should never be used in a "civvie" setting for exactly the reasons you state. But I also won't criticize anyone using them here unless they're doing so in a plainly derogatory manner, which unfortunately is the case with OP, and often elsewhere. And that's really a damn shame.
I sometimes wonder what others might think, jusy for curiosity's sake.
Looks like the answer is no. It's been a while since I've seen someone so thoroughly shot down and still not get it. Kudos!
It seems quite compulsive. As for your comment, yes, actually it does mean you're wrong. I guess everyone's out of step but Smalltimemonger.
She committed to being loving and intimate and withheld both for years. I don't regard getting it somewhere else as "cheating" under those circumstances and I don't feel "guilty".
Now that is funny. I would love to see that ceremony batch of providers lining up to promise you and your wife not to tempt you with sex.
but no one is holding a gun at your head forcing you to stay married.
and spare me the bullshit about how "hard" it is to get divorced. It's a choice, you made the choice to stay married and cheat. If that's your choice, just be a man and own it. Just don't call me "lucky" because I made a conscious choice to buy my freedom. Luck had nothing to do with it.
and spare me the bullshit about how "hard" it is to get divorced. It's a choice, you made the choice to stay married and cheat. If that's your choice, just be a man and own it. Just don't call me "lucky" because I made a conscious choice to buy my freedom. Luck had nothing to do with it.
Lot of folk on this page are quick to pass judgment but not clear they walked in the shoes of the judged.
But I ended it. Anyone who says "staying together for the children" is noble -- or good for the children -- deserves their misery.
Yup... divorced twice, and it's a hell of a lot harder to be a single working woman than a man today and make enough money to pay the bills... even with one or two degrees. Ask anyone who lives in the Florida Panhandle how many fks they give about your degrees lol.
It's not hard at all to get divorced, but I can't say I do not respect men who truly do not want to be weekend dads and put up with hella shit just to have the benefit of being with those children day in and day out. Me... I prefer part time lol.That said, divorce wiped me out completely, but it was worth every penny. Like I said, we all make life choices. You made yours, I made mine. As long as you are content with your life choices, who am I to judge? But if you come on here like OTM and alternatingly berate others for their choices, and then whine in the next sentence about how hookers need to "share the guilt" if anyone tries that kind of crap, you can bet they will get an earful of "judgment" out of me.
To the best of my recollection, I don't remember you doing any of the things that OTM is doing, so please don't take my comments directed at him personally. I have no desire to judge people that aren't trying to judge me.Everyone's an expert. Everyone shoots from the hip.
And how is it relevant for the other 99.99% of people on this site. Sorry for you situation, but please!
You and I just had this conversation the other night! Lol Yeah, it's a choice and buying your freedom (divorce) is priceless if you enjoy sex and intimacy(if your spouse isn't doing you) If either spouse doesn't want to put out then IMO they should get out. 2 way street in a marriage. If I were married my husband better fuck me or I would either divorce or cheat. I wouldn't feel guilty one bit about either one.
It's not like hookers seek out the OP, he sought them out apparently
Hugs and kisses
TL
-- Modified on 7/23/2015 10:57:52 PM
To the best of my recollection, I don't remember you doing any of the things that OTM is doing, so please don't take my comments directed at him personally. I have no desire to judge people that aren't trying to judge me.
Every situation is different. Blanket statements based on ones own frame of reference simply blinds them to the reality so many other not like them face. I've seen more people go through divorce than most people and all I'll say is I get a little weary of people thinking because they've gone through one of their own that they know everything about it. I don't know all that much about it either, though it's not because of lack of exposure to it. It's because so many situations are different.
So let's not judge someone unless we've walked in their shoes -- not a bad way to go through life is it, even if it makes a fuck board like this a little less fun.
It's not hard at all to get divorced, but I can't say I do not respect men who truly do not want to be weekend dads and put up with hella shit just to have the benefit of being with those children day in and day out. Me... I prefer part time lol.