ok we have all done something really dumb at one time or another.     lets see if you can top this.    

I suggested to ISO that she sell an item she didn't use anymore on backpage..meaning of course, craigslist. And no, it wasn't her pussy. Although, in retrospect, she may have already been familiar with backpage and using its services.

-- Modified on 10/8/2020 6:20:51 AM

Having a few drinks and reading TER while the wife was out shopping.  Decided to lay down for a minute and fell asleep.  The wife came home and the computer was still open to TER...and had not timed out.

of the hotel where I had a date set up, in my home town.

Being a mixed blessing does that still count as stupidest thing? Maybe it just was not the luckiest thing. lol

and like any gambler will tell you "it's better to be lucky than good"

-- Modified on 10/8/2020 9:51:39 AM

the years you have provided more coffee-spitting incidents for me  than anyone else.   They're often hilarious except for dealing with the cleanup.  LOL

Just PM me your address and I'll mail you a roll of paper towels and some Windex.

yeah my heart skips a beat every time my wife heads to my office when i am not there.  fortunately she is not PC literate and so wouldn't even wake it up.   however daily and also before i leave I run two different PC cleaners that erase all history, cache and temp files.   also once a week i delete my google history.        

You go to TER on your office computer? I think this is not wise, to put it lightly, regardless of whether or not your wife is computer literate.  

TER on the computer in the office .. no issue ... one of the advantages of being the boss and having a VPN      ........... now if one of my employees was doing it  !!!   do as i say not as i do    he he he he he

I had a lady visit me at my hotel. The plan was to have a "Fun" before we go to dinner. Well after our fun, we took a shower and being a man, I got dress before her. She was about 30 minutes away from being fully ready with make up and all.
So I told I'd be downstairs, gamble a bit and head back in 30 min. She was cool with it...I got on a great streak on the BJ table that I totally forgot about her. I came up over an hour later...she was sitting on the chair, legs crossed and had a look that could kill...I remember the words out of her mouth, it was a yell..."THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR WIFE,?....LET'S GO"
Luckily for that night the restaurant didn't require reservations...but oh boy, was she pissed.

with a gorgeous young lady, I got dressed, put my jacket on, and as I was making small talk (still in a mind-numbed state) I nonchalantly picked up the envelope I’d placed on the kitchen counter when I arrived, put it in a jacket pocket, said good bye and started towards the door.  

I've never seen a gal who said "give me 30 minutes" ever get ready in less than an hour.

i also think bringing up the wife in any way is bad form.     you could have said no its not,  lets have dinner,  then fuck .. then you can leave with the same $100 i give my wife to go shopping.      

I was sitting in my car waiting for the go ahead from a booker. The proverbial "envelope" was on the passenger seat next to me. My cell phone rang and I got completed distracted. After the call, After the call the booker notified me that the gal was ready.

Im a lady but I will chime in on this one ...

I have done, I have already shared on one or more threads here SEVERAL stupid things I have done as a monger, so I don't have anything new to share would allow me to be "cleansed" like the rest of you.

I play over in the sugar bowl (and use a texting app and all). Was out and about with my (actual) daughter And she wanted to run through Starbucks. I pop open the phone and put my order in and ask her what she wants. She just says, “just give me your phone dad”. No problem, I’m in the drivers seat waiting for her to complete her order when she say “uhh, dad” and hands me my phone. Message on my phone says “hey, how’s my sexy daddy today. Can’t wait to see you next week”. Played it off that it was a friend from work messing with me. In the words of the venerable Homer Simpson, “D’oh!!!”  Somehow still married and my (actual) daughters still like me...

Aghhh! Oh no... but nice to hear that you and the long time wife still get it on

I had this happen before on a weekend fmty in Vegas. I just met him at  the table and brought him a little luck.

A provider asked me to take some pictures for her.  She needed pictures in a rush and I had a good camera with me.  No problem.  I take the pictures she wants and also a few POV movies of her in action, including  BBBJ and "reverse asian cowgirl"  So I emailed her the pictures she wanted and kept everything else with the understanding that I would never share.  

Like plopping an Ad where is doesn't belong?

After the events of Part I the provider was on my mind so I went to see her again.  It felt great to be in her arms and mouth again without the wife's nagging.  The rest of the week was very relaxed after this extensive “stress release” session.

I was multi-tasking in email, writing back-and-forth with a couple clients while also contacting a vendor for something in my personal life.

touche      

this is why over a decade ago i bought a burner phone ... untraceable owner and NOTHING EVER goes to my business / family phone.    one just has to keep these worlds separate at all time for 100 reasons and that last post is one of them.

another reason to keep worlds separate ..   all such files should be in the cloud via a completely separate email account. .. that way such past viewing never shows up

Also I had my phone on mute and as you know, phones aren't allowed on the BJ tables..
Regardless, she eventually saw threw me and kicked my ass to the curb...lol

Didn't realize it came pre-programmed with a company voice mail.  
Of course I got a message from a provider threatening to out me to the company. She didn't but I would have won a Darwin award if she had.

As a reminder, Darwin award is give out posthumously

...you guessed it: my heaux name.  
I forget the excuse I followed up with but it worked lol. This was 6 yrs ago and I was just getting back into the groove of doing both at the same time.
That oopsie never happened again but oh boy the bricks I shat.

If I'd been outed i would have been dead.

Posted By: team_rocket_qwerty

Re: Used a company cellphone  
As a reminder, Darwin award is give out posthumously

Sounds like subconsciously you were wanting a divorce.

But in truth, it was a case of being very penny wise and pound foolish.

Yeah, I've seen a lot of guys get busted, not just in the hobbying world, over being penny wise pound foolish. It was like  the Secret Service agents in Columbia that cheaped out on a working girl and she went ballistic versus just walking away. Caused such a stir the Secret Service and Homeland Security got involved. Then turned into a major Washington Post and national story. Ruined a good thing for everybody. A colleague at work, her husband worked for Secret Serevuce. I can only imagine the dinner conversations. All over $800 bucks, well actually $550, they were able to scrounge up $250.

and a LOT of that story does NOT pass the smell test to me.  

Stupid, weird, desperate, or what? Like the time I picked-up this skanky civvie working part-timer on the street and didn't have a condom? Used a wonder bread bag, yes a loaf of bread bag, and fucked her with it. She must have needed the money because she was ok with it, weirded out a bit, ok with it. I could have made millions with the first female condom.

I don't think I ever going to forget the f'kin name!

Guess that would be the definition of "crumby" sex?

Or she was loafing on the job.

Yeah, but if the bread wrapper tears, you're toast!

That's very funny. If it had been me I've have founded so funny. What whoever I am I'm still finding it hilarious.  
Now I can't stop picturing his foot.  
Let me find a funny pic...
a chicken foot. There were worse ones but this is supposed to be funny not gross, not this time.  
Yeah don't worry. He might still remember and from time to time he bursts out laughing.

Agency appointment. GPS took me to the hotel. Texted that I was there, and was given the room number. Went in, took the elevator up to the floor, and walked the entire thing...

one girl i booked ..  came to room 423 ...  in the hotel across the street LOL ..  she knocks on door and guy answers all confused .... she quickly realizes ooops wrong hotel .. and gets to me just a few minutes later      

Was give some lying B&S hooker fifty bucks even though she lied to you and wasted your time???

I kinda got agree with GaGa...if all I had to do to make 50 bucks was disappoint ppl, I'd be fucking rich right now!

so is this a bad time to say i really gave her $100 ?  kidding!   ..  well hey a little compassion goes a long way,  certainly was a lot less than the $500 she would have gotten.    and i bet more times than not she gets that when showing up.  

I'd much rather give that same fifty bucks added to whatever I gave the next girl who rocked my world.

We had a saying in the military: PPPPP Proper Planning Prevents Pisspoor Performance.

LOL
Did you write a review on the second one ("climbing on top of Jabba")

I've only been on TER a couple of months, and that Jabba the Butt incident took place long, long ago. She doesn't have reviews on here, and I'm not about to start one of her.

Right hotel, wrong Room.
.
I remember some parts of some of the stories by The Mayflower Madam who ran Cachet, an upscale escort service in NYC from 1979-1984.  
.
She dispatched one of her staff to a client in a very fancy Manhattan hotel. When she didn't arrive on time, the client called to find out what was going on. Sydney thought about the situation and knew that that hotel used fancy squiggly numbering on the room doors. She reasoned that her associate who was supposed to have gone to room ###7 might have gone to room ###1 by mistake.  She called the hotel and asked for Room ###1 and asked the polite gentleman who answered if Miss So-and-so was there. He gave her the phone, the situation was cleared up, and Miss So-and-so was politely excused to go to her scheduled appointment down the hall.  
.
Sydney called back Room ###1 and apologized for the inconvenience. It turns out that Miss So-and-so had knocked on the wrong door, began a conversation with the older gentleman who answered, and was allowed to enter his room. The conversation was moving along seductively when Sydney called the first time. Now on the second phone call, the gentleman admitted that it was a bit surprising but that he found his young visitor very attractive and that he actually was getting worked up. Sydney offered to send over another young stimulant at no charge and the gentleman accepted. He went on to be a frequent and reliable customer on all of his trips to NYC.  
.
DISCLAIMER: I am not the original client. I am not the older gentleman who got the freebie and became a loyal client of Cachet.  
.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sydney_Biddle_Barrows

Posted By: nevertoolarge

Re: Wrong Hotel
one girl i booked ..  came to room 423 ...  in the hotel across the street LOL ..  she knocks on door and guy answers all confused .... she quickly realizes ooops wrong hotel .. and gets to me just a few minutes later      
   
 irony was ..  she didn't look like her photos,  i gave her $50 and said thank you but no thank you.  

I do something stupid every day and go to bed kicking myself over all of the stupid shit I’ve said and done all day every day. That’s my entire life. Doing stupid shit and regretting it every single fucking day. It’s torture.

Since it's VERY unlikely that you are going to stop doing and saying "stupid shit" Why don't you simply quit having regrets about it?

so after a lengthy time of attempting to schedule a visit between  myself and a suitor we finally managed to make the stars align.  This had gone on for many weeks and we had gotten to know each other quite well with numerous texts and calls.  We were both intrigued with each other  me with his mind and his interest in my sluttiness and he.....well with my sluttiness.  I love a good mind fuck.  At the appointed time with much anticipation, salivation and lubrication too he arrived and he was more than expected.  Not a GQ model but more of a smooth, graceful Marlboro Man.  I had been preparing to adjust the balcony  drapes prior and I returned there while we talked and he removed his coat.  Within a moment I was on my knees enjoying a visually splendid and tasty (broke my rule and skipped the shower) cock for quite a bit of time, forgot the drapes.  We moved to the bed for a bit and he was everything I had fantasized about and then some , it got intense and very hot being a warm summer day with the sun boiling in the uncovered balcony sliders.  Oh gawd and I excused myself reluctantly to turn up the ac and close the the drapes. While doing so he approached me from behind and pressed me to the glass, mounting me like a bull  in one very smooth practiced motion and used me oh so well with my nipples being burned by the glass (omg better than candle wax).  After about 5 minutes I kept hearing a loud horn and managed to clear my head enough to notice that it was probably coming from a crane in the parking lot below that was lifting a hvac unit onto a shorter building across the way where there was a group of guys with hard hats cheering and waving.......Nope, I did not stop or pull away, it was just too fucking good, but I did wave to the crew when finished and closed the drapes before getting some ice for my cooked nipples....Checklist now includes closing the drapes well in advance.  A little stupid and proof like a hard dick a wet pussy has no conscience.....

Paid a provider who I had only seen once before for an overnight up front.  After an hour so she bolted !

Ditto.   Partnered mongers need to either have an "understanding" or have strict opsec.  
But even with the best discipline, it's a matter of when, not if, you get busted.

Yes, burner/hobby phones are the #1 most important investment you can make in this hobby.