Don't get me started. LMFAO

I'm sure everyone has their own stories to tell.  But after two years as a P411 client, the following has happened to me:

1.  I broke a provider's leg.
2.  One provider said that she loved me.
3.  Another provider threatened to kill me.
4.  A teenage provider I booked only once texted me for 6 months straight.  I don't know why.  
5.  A beautiful provider saw me once and refused to see me again.  I don't know why.
6.  I met my ATF, fell in love.
7.  My ATF broke my heart.  
8.  Had a session with a lesbian.
9.  Had a session with a cowgirl on a leather swing.
10.  Had a session with a woman who may have once been a man.  I'm still not sure.

I wouldn't blame you for not believing these things.  I can scarcely believe them myself.  --z

Thanks for the laugh!  
There is no doubt that truth is stranger than fiction.

Hobbit Giorgio

You know, sometimes you just can't make this shit up!!!  That's a wild ride he's had there.

Give it another 2 years. I'm betting your list will have grown to 25 by then.

Expect the unexpected.

the leg??

How did that happen? (so I don't try that position)

TIA

xxx
Jinni

Too much, man!  Your life is way more interesting than mine.  That said I have a few horror stories to tell.

The provider had broken her right leg in a car wreck a year before our session.  The break was between the femur (thigh bone) and the hip.  It never set right, and when she slammed me via cowgirl it broke again.  She toppled over like she'd been shot.  She was flat on her back, naked, leg broken, totally helpless.  She was in a great deal of pain and I was horrified.  I offered to dial 911, but she didn't want that.  She asked me to pop the bone back into place.  OMG.    

She had me lift her leg perpendicular to the bed, with one hand on her knee & the other hand on the heel of her foot.  I then pressed down hard per her instructions.   I didn't know what I was doing and I was really hurting her and I thought she would pass out.  Then it snapped back in--I didn't hear a 'pop' or anything like that, she just told me it was back in its socket.  She said this had happened once before, but never in a session.  She handled herself with dignity and courage and I'll never forget her.    --z

positions!

WoW

That was definitely an unforgettable experience and you both showed astounding courage...maybe she did first... though, as a gentleman, I'm sure you are all about "ladies first" hehe

Amazing story, thanxxx Z

xxx
Jinni

it was an al fresco romp the details of which i'll spare us both.

but in the course of a late outdoor date under a moonlit sky my hand was broken. i called a time out and we retired to an hotel where..... i was promptly bitched out for not coming after my hand had been broken!

WTF!

ah well.... priorities. you and yours had your priorities right and did humanely and kindly by each other. life is strange.... but in a crisis you get to see the real character of a person.

Provider #1 is a very sweet girl who wouldn't threaten anyone.  Regarding Provider #3 who threatened to kill me:  I'd been with her once,  a semi-attractive young provider with long blonde hair, a high-strung spinner.  Two weeks after our first session, she texts me out of the blue with a 'Lets Get Together' message.  I drive over to meet her at a seedy hotel where she's going to book a room.  
 
I'm sitting in my truck, waiting for her call when she shows up with a frigging tool.
Rule #1:  I don't bring my wife to sessions, providers shouldn't bring their tool.  I hit the road.  She calls wanting to know where the hell I am.  I tell her:  "What we're doing is illegal.  Next time leave your boyfriend at home."

She goes OFF, she's screaming into the phone about how she's going to FUCKING KILL me, that she's already paid for the room (which probably cost like $30 bucks).  I tell her that her boyfriend should pay for the room.   A memory I'll always cherish.  Note to providers: leave your tool at home.    --z

Lots of strange and unpredictable things have happened to me as well.  Most of them positive, thank goodness.

I agree truth is stranger than fiction, especially in hobbyland.  Not only with my experience, but stories I've heard from providers and other hobbyists.


One time I went to the bathroon and found another girl hiding in the shower.  She calmly told me she was available if I wanted a 2 girl session.

And I had the following experiences:

       1.) Had a family plus friends dinner with a couple of providers, and a couple of cops one of which  used to work in Vice. The cops where ether my family or my friend and the providers my wifes friends. This was before I knew about my wife or her friends.

       2.) Found out my wife is a provider.

       3.) Found out many of my wife's friends are ether strippers, providers or ex providers. Fucked some of them with my wife. They come over from time to time to hang out.

       4.) Became really good friends with a provider after taking her kid to the hospital because her ex bused the kid. She became my ATF and her family and mine became close friends.
       
       5.) Got accused of being a cop by a provider.

       6.) Had lady refuse me after seeing me for the first time because I am really fat the called me a "fat fucker"

       7.) Got chlamydia from a BBBJ.

       8.) Had a cop (my cousin) try to out me after obtaining a phone from my ATF after he busted her. He got disciplined for his actions and is now looking for a new job. My wife can be brutal.

       9.) Ended up taking care of my ATF Kid while she serves her jail time. Will provide a way out of this life when she gets out.

       10.) Had my fist, and many other threesomes (FFM), and had my fist and second foursomes (FFFM).

For a bonus story the one time I seen a provider before I met my wife I got robbed. For a hobby that should be drama free it sure has added a lot of drama to my life. I must be doing it wrong. I don't care if anyone believes me, I would not if I didn't live it.  I have made some good friends along the way.

I believe all of your stories Z.

At the expense of having to mention the repressions that are inherent in your domicile state's predominant religion (and truthfully, which organized religion is not repressive?), I had heard many stories from a very close friend who used to be with in-the-know and hob-nob with many of the SLC eminent families, that a lot of (1), (2) & (3) as stated in your post, and more so, regularly occurs in the upper echelon and the high society of SLC. The stories which I was told by this friend were at times reminiscent of the Romans' tale of debaucheries.

Your tale is amazing, especially since so much of it is only since last April.  Part of me thinks you are one lucky son-of-a-bitch and the other part knows you're not.  My ATF is married to a former client and I CAN imagine being in his shoes and digging it.  I know, I know, that's easy for me to say until I've walked a mile in his (or your) shoes.  Keep on truckin'.

If she was hot I might have.

I am not stating that I fallen for any providers other than my wife, but I am easily sympathetic to any sad tail and have a tenancy to become a white knight and try to help. This is the cause of much of the drama and why I am in the running for the "Mangina of the Year" award. I do this with none providers to though, so I guess I am just a fool.

Better a fool and a mangina than a flat-out prick.

Why mess up a good thing?

That list looks about right for a year or two, other stuff will follow soon to the list I'm certain...

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL [eom]

-- Modified on 12/5/2010 2:11:56 PM