Go to the drug store in the middle of night to get the provider meds if she got sick?

Give her a ride to airport when she is going on tour?

Go shopping with her for new car?

Go to social event with her that is of no interest to you just to keep her company?

Hold her purse while she is shopping for clothes in mall?

Be there for her when she is not feeling so hot?

In other words, are you willing to give her what her SO would?

If yes, you are absolutely in your right to ask her for Off The Clock time.

If not ...

I count many providers as friends, and  that is what "friends" do.

OTOH I have had providers take me out for dinner, watch sporting events with me, treat me to drinks etc etc, without any illusion that it was going to lead to a "paid date"

I still don't see what is so unusual about providers having "guy friends", or what seems to be even more surprising, guy friends that they don't fuck (straight ones no less)

I don't ask for "off the clock time" if I have to ask for it that way there is probably no real friendship there to begin with. I don't want someone to have to "suffer through" my company in a social sense just because I ocassionally pay her for sex.

but my answers to her question were not much different from yours. The only real differences where from the different perspectives we have from you being married and me not having an SO of any type

I still don't understand why some many supposedly "enlighened" people don't get the whole concept about other people actually liking each other and being friends.

Don't get me wrong, I am a fucking horn dog and I love to fuck, but that doesn't mean I can't have friends of the opposite sex that I don't have sex with.

I find it ironic that I despite (or more likely because) of my  disinterest in fucking "larger" women, I get offers all the time to "I know I am not your type, but I would love to have a drink with you sometime". I love it, and have made several female friends that way. Just because I am not attracted to "fat broads" doesn't mean I think any less of them as people. Except for the whiny, pissy ones that are constantly whining about this, that or the other. (Hey I still have a reputation. lol)

You stated that "friends don't fuck friends" I have had actual friends with benefits, by which I mean women that were truly friends but ocassionally and only under certain circumstances (usually alcohol induced) we would end up in bed together.

I will concede that FWB usually is a misnomer for a couple that is just casual about their relationship.

and yes there is a big difference in clients that you are friendly with, and actual friends. To a certain extent when you are with a client, you are always "ON", with friends there is no "on/off" switch that needs to be flipped.

of waking up next to good male friend and wondering "just how badly we were wasted last night?"  

Usually both parties quickly decide to take  "if I was that drunk i dont remember and if i dont remember it did not happen" approach and swear never to repeat.

As for FWB arrangement so popular lately, I absolutely with all the passion HATE this arrangement. To me it says "you are OK for me to fuck occasionally when I can't find anyone else, but not important enough to actually care"

So, drinks? )

and as you said, If we don't remember it never happened, until it happens again of course. lol

and yes FWB usually are friends at all, usually just two people who don't really care that much for each other, but who fuck ocassionally.

I am not talking about having a realationship with your provider, falling in love and living happily ever after, although I know of a few situations where this has happened.

What I would like to know is how many ladies would be willing to spend  time off the clock with a regular client who you really enjoy being with. And guys let's hear if you have experienced anything like this as well. These are the kinds of things I am refering to that have happened to me.

Book a two hour date for an outcall with a regular. She said if I would be willing to drive to her place instead, which was an hour away, she would throw in the overnight for free.

Had seen a low volume lady several times and asked her if she would travel with me to a 3 day conference out of town in a very fun place (a city like New Orleans or Vegas). She was willing to make the trip and only wanted to be compensated for what she would have made if she had been home and seen her usual one client for one hour per day. Her thought was I would wine and dine her for 3 days and she would have the chance to visit a fun place that she had always wanted to go to.

Booked a long 3 day weekend with a regular who only charged for the one overnight.

Bartered a visit for other goods and services.

...not if the gent is a grumpy person!

Best,
design.lust

Not the norm, but the girls must have liked you to offer such a  discount. Why aren't you still seeing them?

Those kind of ladies are usually more sophisticated and enjoy finer things in life, rather than just running a sex factory. IMO, as long as they are well compensated for what they have to $dish out$, in terms of arranging for sitters (children, pets, etc) and any other task that needs to be tended to, whilst they are gone. Those who think that they could be making X amount of $$$ when they are spending the time on a trip with you, do not make great trip companions. On the other hand, you should never expect any free poontang from a provider, just because you are wining and dining them (not that you indicated that you did). JMHO!

the money has run out, that is why I am grumoy now

I do, but this is a complex topic.

When it's professional companionship, I would not offer "off the clock" time to just any gentlemen.  Simply really liking him isn't enough.   I'd have to have known him over a year. He has to be someone who has seen him regularly and thus provided substantial support.

When it's a gentlemen I have a mistress arrangement with, off the clock time is normal, not every moment we spend together is compensated for.

Considerations: Will he abuse my time in the future? Will he become uncomfortable continuing to provide financial support if I give him off the clock time? How long is this off the clock time? I can't do a weeks vacation for example - I take too much time off work, and loose any opportunity for compensated dates.  How busy is my schedule? If my compensated time is taking up a big chunk of my life, I may want to use my free time to catch up with friends, settle in at home, or spend some time at the office to keep my life sane.

I personally don't like the idea of bartering.

Several of my earliest providers invited me to stay the night. One even took me home to meet her family and have dinner.

This was halfway around the world a long time ago.

Are you willing to.....

"Go to the drug store in the middle of night to get the provider meds if she got sick?"

 If I am with her at the time or if I found out some other way she needed them and couldn't easily get them herself, yes. I would do that for a stranger in need, so why wouldn't I do that for a provider?

"Give her a ride to airport when she is going on tour?"

 Done that for ladies I haven't even had a session with. What's the big deal?

"Go shopping with her for new car?"

 Done that for other friends, I would do that for a provider that I consider a friend. I know a bit about car shopping so why not?

"Go to social event with her that is of no interest to you just to keep her company?"

 No, I would not do that unless we where real good friends. I would never ask that of her unless I paid her to do so. But, if we where friends,  it was important to her, and OK with my wife, then yes.

"Hold her purse while she is shopping for clothes in mall?"

 I have held my ATF (who is now retired) purse while she and my wife where clothes shopping in the mall, so I guess so.

"Be there for her when she is not feeling so hot?"

 Yes, I one time spent all night in a hospital with a provider whose kid got hurt. Not the same thing but same principle.

"In other words, are you willing to give her what her SO would?"

 No, I am not her SO. Most of those other things I would do for someone I barely know. I am not looking to be anyone's SO besides my wife's. There is more to being a SO than just friendship and the list above. I don't love the providers I see.

 I am willing to give her what a friend would. I have also babysat for providers while they where with clients for no compensation. I am even helping one lady get out of the business that wants out. I have even done even bigger thing that I don't want to bring up. I have never asked for off the clock time but with a few ladies I have seen I have became good friends with off the clock.

 I know those questions where not asked of me but I like asking stupid, rhetorical questions like those. What was your point, that unless you want to be her SO you shouldn't care about her as a person? Or was it unless you want to be her SO you should not be a providers friend? Or was it a provider and a client can't just be friends with paid benefits?

 I know I am a bit of a mangina at times but I try to treat escorts like people and have made friends with a few of them.

I have heard stories from ladies I have known over the years about being pressured by regulars for off the clock time. Some guys seem to see it as a competition where they want more time than someone else they heard about. Sometimes guys feel entitled just beacuse they are generous regulars.

Another thing about guys not willing to pay for her time outside the bedroom. Why do they want to take her out? Because of the way she treats them in the bedroom. If the guy expects her to treat him the same at dinner or while traveling, he should realize that she is really working to maintain that attitude. She deserves to get paid for it.

Like you, I have never pressed a lady for OTC time. Invitations from ladies just arise in the normal course of things.

Re: Since your and Scoed's answers were similar , one for two reply

What we have here is TWO distinct topics.

1) Can providers and clients be truly friends and care for each other deeply.

Yes.  I consider myself lucky that I have made friends in this world.  Some of them are male, some of them are female.  MOST of male friends I have made in this hobby never were or no longer will be clients.

True friendships requires people to show their deepest feelings, desires, both positive and negative.  

Being a provider requires creating a complete fantasy.

Once certain line is crossed, client-provider relationship gives way to friendship.  And we all know that friends don't fuck friends

2) Off the clock time with client.  OP clearly asked "What I would like to know is how many ladies would be willing to spend  time off the clock with a regular client who you really enjoy being with."

Just because I REALLY ENJOY being with a client does not mean I am FRIENDS with the client.

He is just a man who is compatible with me emotionally and sexually.  If he wants OFF THE CLOCK time, then he should be prepared to invest his time and emotions to be my SO.


The OP was about trading time for services, about reduced donations for trips to nice destinations, for EXTRA UNCOMPENSATED time.  Not about friendship.


PS and for the record, I completely understand why you would get these offers.

I don't really think I am that much of a mangina, but I have been called that for treating the escorts I have seen as humans. So I adopted the title, I have been called a lot worse. In fact I bet by the end of the day I will be call much, much worse.

I, too, don't get why some people find it strange that people think a provider can't become friends with some of there clients without one trying to take advantage of the other or having "feelings" for the other. I am friends with several of my customer's, and employee's, this is not that much different as long as every one can keep touch with reality of the business part.

but it has happened and has generally been quite pleasant.

i've never suggested it though, unless i was explicitly told i could. i would ask for brief OTC meetings to discuss complicated arrangements. on the other hand there would be invitations to OTC dinner, lunch,  shopping, art viewing, etc.

Re: Since your and Scoed's answers were similar , one for two reply

OK, I would agree with you on your post except when you said, "And we all know that friends don't fuck friends." I fuck my best friend all the time. My wife is my best friend and I still fuck her. I have seen a few provider friends professionally that I knew could keep the line clear between provider/client time and just friends time. I don't DFK the providers I am with and am not into the whole fantasy GFE thing so I think it helps keep the line clear. DFK, and the fantasy GFE thing feels to much like cheating, even with my wifes blessing, for me to be comfortable with it.

I agree there has been situations were there have been connections with 2 people and a long relationship has developed. But the reason as to why i think alot of us transexuals are apprehensive in crossing that line is because there are so many negative aspects in the escorting business that we constantly have to have to be cautious. What you guys dont understand is that this is a job for us and for some of us this is the only source of income. I myself have been on dates with guys but toward the end of the night they thought that sex was apart of the date. I think that if you make everything clear from the start, be honest and respectful and treat a transexual like a human being instead of a sex object things will flow naturally and you will end up having a great time, hopefully with a great TS.

But never assume.  I personally don't consider alternative arrangements; but depending on the girls needs she may.  Its always good to get to know a lady before discussing it and find a tactful way of approaching it with her.

I have ...

> Handled two of her court cases gratis
> Gone to the drugstore to fill her prescriptions
> Gotten her groceries when she was sick
> Helped her with serious BF problems
> etc etc etc

Now, I know I'm a real scumbag for this because I never paid her for the time I spent doing these things. LOL

Speaking of another provider I have ...

> Tutored her kid in math
> Put together science projects for an honors class

Speaking of another provider ...

Well, never mind. You get the idea.

In cases like this where I dedicate a fair amount of time, effort, marketable skills and so forth I absolutely will NOT pay the provider for the time I spend doing these things. This kind of stuff had better be off the clock or she can pay MY rate.  

My problem is not lack of women offering OTC time. It is what happens when I make use of it to any extent: the women become attached. I am not in the "hurting people" business. So while I will do some OTC time when it is to mutual benefit or for a good cause or to right an injustice or to help a child -- outside of that I limit it pretty strictly.

I wish there was a facebook "like" option for this answer...well said!

And mrwisher refuses to snowball my drunk ass.

For the last 2 1/2 years I have seen a provider and we have had many wonderful times and conversations together.  We both have our boundry's but have developed a close relationship...we go for walks and share things together.  I understand what she does and she understands I am a pooner...yet we still go for walks and talk together all the time...alot of times off the clock.  However "business" is as usual and I don't want it to go the other way and she doesn't either...nice if u can make it work

I have, on occasion, spent time off-the-clock with a gent because I enjoyed spending time with him. My advice is to never expect it and never take it for granted. Don't ever assume she is going to give you additional time.

For the most part though, I don't spend a lot of time with men off-the-clock. In P4P, the money (to me) keeps boundaries in line. Take away the compensation and the boundaries begin to blur for both.

Fucking alias hiding behind pussy!

Talk shit all you want about me. mrfisher ain't done shit to you, so leave his ass out of it.

Fucking ball-less prick!