Just watched some show the other day on prostitution etc .  
One of the girls said to the ladies who are watching the show ,
" ladies dont deny your man sex , if you will we wont "

-- Modified on 4/23/2016 9:29:44 AM

I do not CONTROL my Fantasy boyfriend's dick. I am not willing to accept the total responsibility for servicing him and being All things to him.  I gladly welcome him to relieve his pressure on any girl that is willing, ready, and able.

In my real life I have a man and a job as a sometime couples therapist - yeh I know funny huh? This job has taught me sooooo much about men.  
I went to an all girls school,and had only sisters and my dad kept my mum and us in line using his size and his loud voice. I left home at 17 thinking men were idiots. Since doing a psych degree but more importantly since starting this work at 24 I have come to realise that men are much misunderstood by women. We have our friends, our social skills, our ability to deal with emotions, shoes and handbags hahaha but men are brought up without much of this training. I find you in general to be much more emotionally vulnerable than women who are pretty pragmatic on the whole.
What I try to explain to women is that for men sex is a pretty vital ingredient in life. It's how you release stress, show love to women you love - it's as essential as eating and drinking and if you're not getting it at home you'll look elsewhere. Masturbation is like an omelette but sex is full steak and chips with a beer on the side and who wouldn't prefer that?
Coming to see a lady like us gives men the opportunity for the steak and chips, but also men tell me things they've never told anyone else. It's counselling and therapy only naked.
I have so much more time for men since doing this because I've heard all your inner thoughts, feelings, fears and hopes over the years and so many of you are hard working, family loving, loyal good hearted guys who should,be way more appreciated than you are.
I tell women in my counselling job that denying sex is like telling a man you don't love him, or appreciate what he does.  
Even if I've had enough sex in a week to last me a lifetime I go home and act my heart out if necessary to give it to my man because I love him and I want him to know that.

Did you ever asked yourself and why it is let's say Russian men, Muslim men - never do hear word No from own women? ( or way less then american man would hear)

In some of the relationships she "always" had plenty of gas left in the tank for me. In others she almost never wanted to have sex after a full day of fucking and sucking other guys. In others it was somewhere in between.

Well, I'm single at the moment. The day I decide to start a family, will probably be the finale for 'Kenya'.  

I know that after I DATY my pulse is right up there.

For myself intercourse is a lot more work on the body

I told my ex after she cut off most sex that I was going to find sex elsewhere and did so.  She chose to remain blind to it, then acted all shocked when she eventually found out.

Very good points in this thread.  As Alyson stressed, communication is key in any relationship as Claire tries to accomplish in her counseling sessions.  I'll soon be 57 and have always maintained monogamous relationships through the course of my life.  However, since I started Hobbying four years ago I don't think I could ever be faithful to one woman ever again.  As was pointed out, the variety sure is nice from the same old vanilla sex I may get after the fun of the sex fades in a relationship after a couple of years.  While I have tried to be communicative and express my desire to my previous partners they either get comfortable with the relationship, aren't communicating their feelings back to me or when I suggest counseling they might be uncomfortable with that.  

I think the problem with marriage in the long term is that we didn't evolve that way.  Marriage (monogamy) makes sense in the short term -- long enough to raise the kiddies until they don't need constant care -- and keep them from being eaten by saber tooth tigers.   Long term marriage today still makes financial sense, but that is far from enough to overcome the wandering eye both sexes will typically experience.

Then there are two possibilities: 1) There's something wrong in the relationship, or 2) I'm feeling unwell, physically and/or emotionally. Or possibly 3) He's just bad in bed (or we're incompatible in bed), which luckily, I've never had to contend with.  

and this is NOT an exception to that rule.  

If that's your best advice, my advice to you is to keep it to yourself.  

Posted By: Pavliena

Did you ever asked yourself and why it is let's say Russian men, Muslim men - never do hear word No from own women? ( or way less then american man would hear)  
   
 I would say - they do not put pressure on woman to perform and have big O s from his sexual skills  
   
 He just wants sex - quick and he did not tasting on her his self esteem self realization his ego would not suffer if she would not come - he actually do not care if she did come or not. He cares about his own pleasure leaving woman in her own world -  
 HE LIVES HER TO STAY IN HER OWN WORLD thinking whatever she concerns at the moment and not gave to him all herself - she is free actually -  
 He is not demanding for her TO BE PRESENT mentally during the sex - she can still think about house kids etc  
 She can even do nothing during the sex - he will do it all  
 All she needs - gave him her body - that is soo easy for a woman!  
 Yet your american wives have to deal with your demands even in bed and the fact that you establishing your ego through sex performance - is just ugly - and expecting her act as if she is ToTALLY like your sex - women - just whatever - go to hookers  
 Sex has to be just for sex not for boosting own egos and control  
 Women as up to me - never are tied to the point that she can not be taken - even if she sleeps - you still can penetrate her - just for god sake - gave her space! Let her dream what ever she wish while you are doing it - may be she will have orgasms may be not - that has to be less of your concern - get your own orgasm - she be happy  
 American men can't get it and performing performing performing working hard even in bed!! Hard workers!  
 I always smile and deny those who write me -  
 "I work hard and I play hard" and I say I want all to be easy and fun elegant and non controlling  
 Try not to press your wives in to sex FOR HER - just say you need it - she will give it to you if she has empathy for you and some love left  
   
 Be more poets, artists.. buy her flowers and presents NOT expecting anything in return Spend calm relaxing time outside of house with her even if it is hiking in mountains or park -even if sex is as written in red letters on your forehead - women do not want to know that - you have to be more tricky - woman thinks you love her for her personality and her interests and her hobbies is fascinating for you - let her think yet kiss her more often - touch her more often listen her and then just take on the coffee table while she talks about her hobby may be she will orgasm as well - yet that should not be the way that you are using your manhood tool as a screw drive to fix her and through that feel mental satisfaction - I am a MAN - made my woman come twice!    
 When woman feels this pressure she would say you NO I am tied  
 Women simply getting to orgasms - during the act -woman can not be sure she will have it so when she is EXPECTED to have - she rather would say - No thanks - I am tied  
 Be more selfish in sex and  you will never hear word NO -  
 Just tell her - I need 5 min and you do not have do anything and I am soooo love your body to the point my body hurts - help me - give me - I will do it gentle

I think there may be more relationships, here in the USA,  like that, than we are willing to admit.

Very interesting thread.  I know a number of couples, now seniors, where either there is a mutual slackening of interest, or it's stronger with one than the other, or, most often, disinterest due to menopause or sexual boredom but where mutual affection still lives.  Most common situation seems to be where the woman goes through menopause and loses interest and the man still wants to romp.  Hence one of the reasons why the hobby thrives.  What do y'all think?

Never touched another woman because the BJ's were great at home.  One month after the BJ's stopped I started hobbying.  About three years ago she found out.  (I fell asleep with TER and my hobbymail open) Told her I would stop hobbying if she took care of me and this is true.  We still sleep together and do everything married couples do except have sex.  Never would have got into the hobby if I were still getting it at home.

We women  want intimacy no less then you men even more- women mostly do not separate sex from an intimacy as men do - so when man is intimate with her other wise - she would not have ANY problems  to give him a quick y  
 of curse in more advanced age  intimacy becoming even more pessary then anal sex - it is why I said always  that at certain age man needs look a companion which provides more intimacy then let say anal sex.

Ironically both got eaten up by saber tooth tigers, different occasions even.  What were the odds?

Quite likely you are right about "that most men can't commit to one woman, no matter how much sex he is getting from her" for your generation but there are people 50 years older than you had long married lives w/o straying. In our group of 4 other couples all of them stayed married and far as I know didn't stray.They all are still married and only death has parted two couplesWhen passing close to one another there was almost a  touch. I was married to my wife for 53 years w/o straying. We had a great romantic sex life. When I noticed she was tired or preoccupied with some aspect of her life we discussed it. And vice versus. When I was getting my PhD about only  recreation I had was on a bowling night. Afterwards we went to a pub and had a few beers. So When I came home I always felt horny. But this worked out for her too, because I was a fast cummer when sober but when drunk I lasted longer and she had more fun too. She liked sex just as much as I did. Our love affair was filled with adventure, When the kids were asleep was play time, even when we were on Safari (2 years) in East Africa we had the young kids in their own tent. Screwing or oral sex with lions roaring or hippos making their grunting noise near out camp has been unforgettable.
In her last couple of years before she died we still had sex, usually oral and always complete. Now I have loving memories of her, and shoe boxes full of risque, raunchy or expressions of love cards that we exchanged. It took be about 4 years before I decided to seek sex from escorts. I don't have many different providers the few I have I we are good friends and have fun.
Times change and mores change. I suspect had we been born in your generation our approach to life and love would  be different

Indeed, last week a gal on the Boston Board was proclaiming a new found zest for sex just after her menopause kicked in.

We've always been more than willing to roll up our sleeves and get the job done

and these are mine alone, not projecting here and not grouping.

I doubt that there would be so any of us here..  
I have never understood the thought process that a wife may have in saying that sex in marriage is over.. then she gets angry if the husband see's others? please..  My wife has no idea.. but when we were about 50 (15 years or more ago).. she said no more... don't bother.. so eventually after more than ten years I turned my interests elsewhere and now have no sexual feelings at all for her... she's a roommate.. I pay her bills.. that's a good deal.. If she doesn't like that too bad..

Most of my gentlemen lovers are all happily married and are looking for that intimacy that they may be lacking at times in their relationship.  They love their wives and sometimes don't want to burden them with requests.  Also, there may be some things I am happy to perform for them in bed, that their wives may not want to indulge in.  I am more of their best friend, confidant, therapist and naughty partner in crime.  A truly no strings attached/no drama solution to their needs...at a price.
And I am happy to oblige.
Passionately,
Frederica

You were very lucky.  Thank you for telling us, sometimes these days you forget the beauty of love and marriage.
Passionately  
Frederica

I'll have to be the bad boy here.  I just like the female body.  Nobody done me wrong in my two marriages, sex wise.  It's just that certain females catch my imagination.

My SO never really liked sex... we discussed sex before we married & she was deceptive...  she had 2 children under 10.  It was a second marriage for both of us & I thought I did due dilligence.  If I'd known the way it was going to go, I would not have married her.  Sex was a once a year occasion (by appointment only)...  when we did, she seemed to enjoy it... until about 10 years ago when it stopped.  I was not ready to be celibate.  So I decided to do what I had to do.  
If she was willing, I'd not be hobbying.  

What's your 10 minute rate ... lol

But honestly, I think it's worth figuring it out and is probably one of the more interesting points of view I have read around here.

I agree ,  
Thats how I started ,  
I was fed up of bagging for sex with wife , now I attempt once if I get  
Turned down by my wife , I know i wont get turned off by the gorgeous
Ladies of TER .  

Very touchy story ,
Very nice

It is completely Natural for males to want to fuck Every Beautiful female.  The older a girl gets, the more she will accept the whole idea. There is No Controlling the cock. She , on the other hand, will learn to be responsible for her orgasm and learn to verbalize exactly what she wants. Males will learn (when she does)  the evolution of female pleasure.

It's wonderful gentlemen like you that make this industry exciting and fun!
Passionately,
Frederica