Hey all...a comment made in the breakfast in bed thread from Carolina made me wonder.

Ladies with a SO.....what are your thoughts about your SO visiting a provider?  Is that allowed?  Encouraged?  Unspoken?

Curious minds want to know.  I for one, cannot imagine a scenario where I could be comfortable letting the woman I love engage in that type of activity.

I can admit...I would be waaay too jealous but maybe I am in the minority.

Thoughts?

NO.


And that is my FINAL answer.

have not had to cross that bridge and with my SO, I will not have to.
He is not one to wander, and neither am I really, bottom line, this is my job . I am in a business. It is my profession.  I do Love many of my clients, I truely do enjoy what I do, but if I was not in this as a business I would only spend time with my SO.
He does not know what I do, so no it would not be acceptable for him to see a companion.  I know, sounds very one sided, so be it. He is not in a relationship with Nicole, he doesn't even know Nicole. He is in a relationship with me, and I am a freelance artist. I am not, as far as he is concerned, I am not in this business. Sounds a bit confusing yet it seems to be working for us.

All have a great day and get out n vote!!!

Nicole

Rae...does your S/O know that your a provider?

SC,no time for chatting....gotta get that house done!!!!!.....(LOL).

Yes he does. He would never even consider seeing a provider ever in his wildest imagination. He's had plenty of opportunities to pay for play and just wouldn't and has told me that he never would and I believe that. Added to that he would never sleep with anyone other than me unless I approved in a situation like a 3way. Which we have done. And on another note, have you read my reviews? Why in God's name would he even want to? He knows full well the consequences for cheating. I do not cheat. I have a legitimate business that he knows full well about.

~Rae

-- Modified on 11/4/2008 5:41:51 AM

Just thought i'd ask!...Yes i have read your reviews...That's exactly what i was after....
Why in God's name would he want to!!!!
Some guys have all the luck!...YOUR BEAUTIFUL!

I intoxicate him
He and I have been together for 14 months

I am his woman and he is my man

I meet with clients once or twice a week
If my SO wanted to meet with another provider than he would no longer be my SO

We are not young'ins We are both in our fifties. I don't flaunt my career in front of him. It is low-key. The only thing he might be concerned about is me falling in love with one of my clients. I consider myself a Sex Therapist. I really look at it that way. I love what I do and when I retire I won't miss it. Why do I still work? Economics. My SO just divorced his ex, final in Jan08 and it cost 1/4 mil. He already pays for almost everything..but I still like my own $$$. I am looking for work in the mainstream . I have written a new resume..but I really like being retired from an 8-5. I think in the next year I will retire for sure.And He and I will live happily ever after.
Love

Sexy Carolina

NO, but if he decided to play, I would rather it
be with a provider than cheat with a civie.

demure lady.

My point is simply that it may be less than wise to assume that your lover has no fantasies beyond you.

BTW.  Love your reviews.  I want some!

...so of course, if my primary mate asked to, I would give him the money to see a provider (he does not work, but cares for our home & our children -- believe me, he earns his keep!).  

That said, I have made the offer many times for my primary mate to go to a provider, and he has always refused.  He says he would feel ashamed and he would know that she did not really want him.  Thus, the search for a legitimate girlfriend for him continues.

If my secondary mate used his own money to see a provider, I'd be fine with it.  However, at the 6-month milestone of our relationship, he told me that I am the only woman he needs or wants.

Demure?

You've never seen me in public dressed as conservative as can be or sat beside me in Church either. You base your judgement of me solely on what limited amounts of ME you can see conveyed over the internet. However, I assure you I complete his fantasies, and trust me, he has NONE that he has not shared with me. This is not a question of my relationship with my SO but a question about whether he would visit a provider or if I would let him. He does not thirst for anyone else and he never will. This is not an assumption it is a fact.

~Rae

on the type of arrangement you have agreed to have with your partner/partners.

I would say "No' and that's that. But, being that I'm single, I'm having way too much fun...:P

actually I prefer to join in.

Sometimes I did and sometimes I didn't.

I think its perfectly ok that my ex b/f/hubby saw other ladies. The one ex was bi and he was seeing other men.

Sex should be fun and not have limits on it.

He's "allowed" and encouraged to see providers for physical encounters- I discourage emotional affairs, that's what he has me for. His geographical location & job really doesn't afford him much of an opportunity to "Hobby"  much- ......-BUT-.... when he is in "Provider friendly" regions he makes up for loss time!

If my S/O desired to visit with an Escort I wouldn't have any right to say no. Considering I am a fulltime Escort how could I discourage him ? Hell, I would even help him find the Lady of his choice.
I would set a few rules like it won't be in our home and he will be protected.
You know the saying.....what's good for the Goose

Proves Puritanism is alive and well in the US. It died long ago every where else in the world. As a matter of fact it never lived in some parts of the world, many eastern culture comes to mind.

Who you have sex with is not the ultimate test of whether you love and care for someone.

There is no rule which states that you cannot love more than one person

Love, affection and care is not unidimensional.

I believe her....I read her reviews.  

I am surprised though Rae at your stance....I don't know why...I just am.

Have a great week.

I am really surprised at the number of providers that would not allow their SO to see one.

Not sure WHY it surprises me...just does.

I have actually encouraged my SO to see a provider. Hasn't happened as of yet, but I do think it's important to give him a very balanced and fair representaion of what a session is like. I can't think of a better way to do that.

So, if and when he chooses to, go for it.

I am also really surprised at the number of providers that would not allow their SO to see a another provider.  It surprises me because one would assume these girls know better than anyone the intricacies of the male sex psyche - that variety is the spice of life! Spending time everyday up close and personal with this reality of men from walks of life - you would assume they would never believe a monogomous relationship is possible long term.

I'm surprised that anyone is surprised at all!

To be frank with you, the majority of my clients who are married see me because they have a lack of intimacy in their marriages.

I don't have this problem with my SO. We have sex all the time. A lot of it.

If circumstances changed and I was physically unable to have sex I would consider changing my stance. However, at this time, I am more than enough woman to handle his needs and I would never ever condone him seeing a provider under any circumstances.

he has the best there is!
Jay

I wouldn't say absolutely not, but I am in agreement with Rae on this one to some extent.  However, I have tried to bring girls home for him/me/us to play with and he's not interested.  I have purposely left an envelope for him when I have went out of town, just in case he changed his mind, and nothing.

Like Rae said, most men we see don't see us because they hate their wives, but more because they lack intimacy at home.  Most providers know how important that is, especially knowing what we are doing, and try to keep that from happening.

Maybe if more civvie SO's had your attitude and openness, there wouldn't be so many looking to the hobby to get thier fantasies filled, or even listened to, without fear of being thought of as a pervert.

Rae - I do not necessarily disagree that intimacy (or a lack thereof) is a factor for married gents making the decision to visit with a provider. I would add, though, that it could be more than that alone.

I was married early (21) after a few long-term girlfriends throughout high school and college. As much as I do thoroughly enjoy the intimacy of the GFE experience, for me, a big part of this is about the variety that this hobby allows. I love my wife and kids and plan to be with my wife forever. Who knows how long I will hobby, but I am certainly enjoying the fantastic experiences, on many levels, that I am having with some really great ladies. Variety...no drama...no strings. Love it.

K

So...a provider, who see's hobbyist's, has an SO.

Does the SO know that she is a "provider"?  If so...yes, he can.

If the SO doesnt know she is a provider...yes, he can.  

Why??

BECAUSE SHE IS A PROVIDER WHO SEE'S HOBBYIST'S.

"assure you I complete his fantasies, and trust me, he has NONE that he has not shared with me.'

Oh My Darling I love you so much but there is something I must tell you.. I trust you entirely  but no matter how great the sex and how beautiful the woman, "almost" all men will stray when given the opportunity...and the ones that are most inclined to cheat are the men who have had experiences with beautiful women and great sex ..and they "will" make the opportunity ..

"Maybe if more civvie SO's had your attitude and openness, there wouldn't be so many looking to the hobby to get thier fantasies filled"

Civvies are the same as providers as far as attitude and openness...Unfortunately with civvies, it might take a lot more time and patience,  before they open up with a great attitude..