I always laugh when some guy says to me in bed "you're such a nice girl, don't you want to quit this and get married?"

...So I can be the wife of someone across town at the Holiday Inn Express whispering the same sweet nothings to some other whore when the new wears off of the marriage?

No thanks.  Married men are humans and we all have our foibles and marriage is entirely overrated.

There are plenty of happily married men still fucking their wives, still attracted to and in love with their wives...but refuse to stop chasing other women without the knowledge of their wives and that has warped my perception of the whole institution more than the poor guys whose wives are unable to be affectionate any longer or unwilling to be affectionate.  Its not the sex that bothers me....its the deception.

Its not heartache I'm going to subject myself to.

Most women looking for casual sex would rather
find a married guy .

 She figures if he's good enough for someone to marry he's good enough for the night.

 Because of  women's cat mentality ,if his wife is hot looking he automatically becomes more appealing.

The most successful single guys wear wedding rings when trolling for strange.

 A hot woman on your arms is another kind of Tuna teaser.

 I doubt providers are much different than civilians .

I've been curious about this one for awhile.

The majority of women in this country or world think that men who cheat on their wives are complete scumbags.  Sometimes deservedly so but there are often good even legit reasons if one steps outside of the traditional values found in society.

I'm curious what the providers think.  I've not had one negative remark to my face (it would be bad for business of course because there are a lot of us) but I wonder if deep down the ladies think negatively about us the way the rest of society does.  Feel free to answer with an alias here.

and they obviously know that if guys didn't cheat they'd be out of business.
nick

I know.  Just curious whether any will honestly answer (likely with an alias) and say they prefer the single guys or whatever because they empathize with other women who are being stolen from and deceived and generally shit upon by their lying cheating bastard husbands like myself.  We'll see.

As for me I love them.They dont take  our rapport  too personally and they dont become emotionally needy.
I highly prefer married clients over  single clients.

The fact that they live polyamorous lifestles demonstrates this fact.  I believe that hobbying can go a long way to keeping men in their marriage.  Men who have little or no sex in their personal lives, who do not want to get divorced and unravel their families, hobby rather than engage in affairs where emotional attachments can cause unexpected complications.  

I never judge anyone, except in respect to how they treat me.

Hope this helps.

And yeah I do get down thinking about that occasionally.  We barely survived my mild infidelity 10 years ago.  Discovery will definitely result in divorce.  And yeah I think deep down I probably will get caught.  I'm half anticipating how it will all go down.  Not looking forward to it.

because single guys can sometimes get attached and cross some uncomfortable boundaries. Married guys usually keep things uncomplicated. Afterall, providers aren't all single ourselves. We very much have personal lives just like you.

It is seen as a betrayal, and the trust necessary for a marriage to thrive is difficult to regain.

For many guys the ability to "compartmentalize" this behavior allows us to just go and play the game.  I don't get "emotionally" involved with the gals, and don't dwell on anything more than just a time to fuck.  And as many others have pointed out...you need to take this to your grave.  If you simply can't do that...you need to move on quickly.

Nothing good will come out of you discussing this with your spouse, SO, friends and so on.  This is a deception of all of those people in your life.  And if you can't live with that, then you have to ask yourself if this is the game for you.

Basically here is the way it boils down:  "Hobby Good-Affair Bad" !!  Please feel free to quote me if you like!

Is this cheating?  That question takes a backseat once money matter settles.

Most everyone cheats, both men AND women.... it's not always the husbands. I have seen too many times, where what I perceive as a really great guy, is hurt by the fact that his wife no longer pays him any attention. Could it all be an act? Sure. But I really think there are guys who still love their wives dearly, but are no longer taken care of in the bedroom. Maybe it's due to being tired from taking care of the kids & house, w/no help from hubbie, maybe she's just not interested anymore, maybe he doesn't do foreplay anymore & she decides it's easier to just avoid sex altogether, maybe it's a hormonal imbalance, or maybe she's just being a bit** & using sex against him... I don't know & every situation is different. It's not my place to judge anyone for what they have decided to do in their personal life. I know when I was married, I made sure he was taken care of, & to my knowledge, he never strayed, but who knows, BUT, since becoming a provider, I would be much more likely to never get married again due to what I know now.

negative towards the gentlemen who are married. As said it is sometimes alot better because they don't get emotional attachments.

Every man has his reason for hobbying. Sometimes the need to just have crazy mind blowing sex engulfs a man if he's not getting it at home. It does the same to me if I don't have it for a few days.

Seriously I've never thought of anyone I've seen in a derogatory way. Yet I've been very lucky and have met many wonderful individuals.

You'd be surprised how many people act all high and mighty and then you see them in a swingers club or an online swingers site. Women cheat just as much as men, the only difference is women are so much more careful to not get caught.

It doesn't matter to me.  I'm not here to judge what anyone does. Most times, unless they have revealed something, I have no idea if my visitor is married or not. I treat everyone with the same level of confidentiality no matter what their status.

have fun and play safe!


Summer

I have never married, or dated. All the women that I had sex with except one have been an escort. I have no intention of falling in love with a women. I do wish that every woman that I have sex with take care of herself and make all the money that she wants providing. But at the end of the day, I would not flinch about foregoing a provider that I have met and enjoyed time with in favor of a pretty new face that catches my attention. I seldom see a provider more than five times before moving on to the next hot new face. I have no ATFs and don't want any.

It all boils down to whether a hobbyist has his feet on the ground and is rational. Married men can and often do become stalkers. There is no scientific evidence that single men are any more prone to being such a problem.

Thanks for the advice.

Unfortunately for me though, I've spent pretty much my 20+ year courtship/marriage in and out of counseling with her.  After all that, I realize that the hurdles we have are insurmountable.  Throw on special needs children and the problems double, with no end in sight.

So, there's divorce, or, some other euphoria laced reality altering experience.  Drugs or alcohol?  I'd rather not.  I'm not into destroying my health.  Relationship-free sex on the side?  It's not perfect but it's close.  So here I am.

-- Modified on 11/23/2011 11:46:42 PM

Who said I was gonna discuss anything with the wife?

I didn't start this out with the idea of baring my soul but it has kind of moved in that direction.

Stating they didn't care whether a guy was married or not. And the ones that did 'fessed up under their true names, thanks for the heads up.

What I mean to say is, you prefer married guys cuz they're not complicated for the reasons you stated. I'm single, so I wouldn't want to complicate your life and give you the impression that just cuz you know how to fuck a guy properly, I'd be the first to say I'll save you the trouble of falling for you cuz you're all that and a bag of chips.

And the ones that posted under an alias, please send me a PM. I'd hate to waste your time, and mine, making a date for uncomplicated sex cuz you think I'd fall inlove with your ass.

Yeah, I know. You're the shit. They all tell you that. Just get off your high-horse and send me a note saying I don't deserve you.

Cool?...

well, we wonder if you guys think negatively about us the way the rest of society does, too.

seriously, though.  there are negative stereotypes on both sides of the fence here.  when these two stigmatized sub-sections of society come together the judgments should fall away entirely, at least in my opinion (which i will not claim is humble).

frankly, i think it would be pretty fucking hypocritical for any woman to take a man's money and look down her nose at him for paying her to do her job (as a result quite literally putting bread on her table).  call me an asshole, but as far as i'm concerned, if that's her attitude, then she shouldn't be there in the first place.

occasionally, i find it upsetting that relationship norms are such that men can't feel safe to be honest about their proclivities with their primary mate (be it a wife, girlfriend, whatever), but that doesn't negatively impact the way i see the man; it negatively impacts my perception of american relationship norms.

admittedly, my subject line was not entirely true.  i am sure that some girls will identify with the subject line, but i don't personally worry about what *my* suitors think of me - i aim to attract gents who are allured by the total package ... the pictures and the reviews and the tremendous mind-liquefying knee-wobbling skills, yes, but also the intangibles such as personality & intellect.  i was just trying to make a point.

anyway, getting to the bottom line -- no, i don't think negatively about my suitors.  i'm actually deeply grateful to them for everything they've done for me.  my inner and outer worlds have improved immeasurably since i first explored this world, and i'd rather eat broken glass than take that for granted.

Under no circumstance bare your soul to the wife-do not do it-do not even think about it-and when caught-you will be-deny everything but don't go crazy over denying-just deny!!  Anything you say will be held against you forever and if she doesn't want to divorce you - what you will have to look forward to years later is an ongoing occasional reminder of your admissions-Deny-Deny-Deny !!

Dude I know it.  I already live with that for much smaller transgressions.  No, if caught she will divorce my ass in a heartbeat.  

And sometimes I'm amazed how close that comes.  Almost happened twice this morning alone, as I type on this phone on this site and she then walks in the room and says 'what are you doing'?  I'm just playing with fire here.

Re: well, we wonder if you guys think negatively about us the way the rest of society does, too.

This thread contains some very intelligent and sensive comments and tremendous food for thought on both sides of the gender divide.  When I first decided that I would turn to the hobby for sexual fulfillment, I expected the women to be slutty, uneducated and higly impersonal. That was a big concern but I decided to take the plunge neverheless.  I have met one or two like that who fit that stereotypical image of a prostitute but I have also learned over time to be discerning in my choice of hobby partners and discovered a whole world of wonderful women - intelligent, educated, fun to be with and warm in addition to being sexy and womanly.  I have descovered that many woman who consider themselves to be GFE are  truly genuine and authentic and not just putting it on to give me a good time.  I am sure that there are some great actresses among the providers (and I don't only mean faking the orgasm).  But ladies - many of you are very real.... and I for one appreciate that.
Thank you for not judging us. You deseve the same of us - not to be judged for having chosen to offer sex for money.
I have learned not to question your motives but to think of you as women who have made a professional choice in ways that are consistent with the sexual mores of contemporary society.  We all know that P4P is considered illegal but why is it any worse morally than hooking up at a bar or having multiple civie partners?  It isn't!  Thank you for some mind blowing sex and for opening my eyes to accepting you as the wonderful women who you are.

Re: well, we wonder if you guys think negatively about us the way the rest of society does, too.

Amen

Some of the best clients I've had are married! They-most of them- understand discretion, are clean and polite, and don't overstay their welcome. I can honestly say I've never had a bad experience with a married guy. I've come across very few gebts I'd never see again, none were married. My BFF does FBSM and she loves married guys, though the occasional no show happens.

How about: Let's get married. You can keep escorting, and I'll keep hobbying.

You get the emotional intimacy and commitment. You know he is filling his "chasing" needs in a way that won't lead to emotional entanglement with someone else.