an essential need to be out of the house?

"Los Angeles issued a “Safer at Home” emergency order, meaning residents must “immediately limit all movement outside of their homes beyond what is absolutely essential,” Mayor Eric Garcetti said.

The order will take effect from 11:59 p.m. PT Thursday until at least the end of the month. Garcetti also said workers of “impacted businesses” have an additional 24 hours"

if you're really "stupid" enough to say that to any officer than you should be hassled by LAPD or any le that pulls you over.
If you watch the video that the mayor had on local news he said "you won't be arrested" for being out getting essentials.

So, as long if you do get pulled over you say I'm out to get essentials.

But, if you're dumb enough to say "I'm horny as hell and going to see self employed model" than you should get the raust!

It's convincing my wife that we're out of something essential so that I can go play.

LOL  

At least someone has a sense of humor.

If you're really "stupid" enough to not know he was joking.....

 
Besides, since when was pussy taken off the "essentials" list? It's right up there at the top of my list right next to booze.

if you're really "stupid" enough to think he is serious you deserve to be harassed by posters on TER

 
The real question is will LAPD take “ Im out looking to get a sense of humor”
 an essential need for you  to be out of the house?

 
You're Welcome

END OF MESSAGE

That was well done M.r. F.

You made a joke that got more hits than misses.  I liked it, too.  Lol

Reminds me of former client who would use surfing as excuse and would come to my place at 5:30am in his wetsuit. lol
Needed the levity of this thread. Thanks y'all!
Warmest hugs,
Kacy TGirl

I would go with toilet paper as it is much harder to find thus expanding why you where gone so long and why you never found any. Everyone needs toilet paper so it is essential and no one seems to have ant available so the search can both take for ever and end in utter failure thus creating an excuse for next time.

TP? Who needs TP? What do you think did 10,000 years ago?

http://10daily.com.au/shows/theproject/news/a200311iswpg/the-best-leaves-to-use-instead-of-toilet-paper-20200311
.
Or use these:

a plant is a plant.
I wonder if it's good to smoke too.

1000 years ago? Hmm... I know Rome used a spung on a stick soaked in salt water. It was communal. But that was further back than asked.  

Well if I remember my toilet history I. Europe the rich used cloth unspun wool or their left hand. The peasants tried to crap in a river or stream and use the water to wash, but if not available they commonly used rocks, shells, leaves, snow, or their left hand. Yes they sold shells to clean up down there with and they reused it.

 
Food was cooked and eaten with the right for the left was considered unclean. Thus its use as TP. They did try to wash it after. Funny thing they thought lefties was more prone to sin like visiting ladies of the evening. I wonder how many lefties hang hear?

 
I hope I am remembering my TP history right. It has been a while since I looked it up.  

 
Anyway every woman I know thinks TP is a necessary item. This the hunt for it is a great excuse to be gone a while. Personally I have used leaves when TP wasn't available and I was not near a toilet. If I ran out, personally I would just shower.  But I will not likely run out before normal sources of the coveted bum paper are restored.

 
And in China a 1000 years ago, the rich used toilet paper. Just so you know. They were 1000s of years ahead of us in the toiletry sciences. We didn't start to use dedicated toilet paper in the US until the mid 1800s sometime. Before that it was corn cobs, leaves, and publications like the good old farmers almanac and news papers in this nation.

 
Now how did we get on the history of bathroom sanitation?

 
Hope you all enjoyed this post. It was answered in fun but I believe it to be historically accurate. Now can we get back to talking about paying for sex? That subject is usually much less gross. Well there was this one post a lady posted with pictures of the shit stains a client left on her sheets. That was very gross. I think that guy could have used one some TP or a shell or something.

END OF MESSAGE

Ok 10,000 years ago they used sticks, rocks, shells and leaves. I am sorry I miss read your post.

The immigration official asked me if I used my right hand or my left hand.

I responded that I used toilet paper.

To this day, they still keep a photo of me at all entryways.

In the past, a few Providers would accept specie in lieu of greenbacks: Kruggerands, Canadian Maples, pre-1964 US silver coins, and even pure metal.  (One Provider had a small scale to weigh your donation to determine its value in your presence.)  
.
If the TP supply remains tight and the price goes up, I wonder if we will see ...  
Donations:
1 hour: $500; $400 plus 4 rolls of 2-ply
2 hours: a case of 32 rolls of 2-ply

I was unfamiliar with the process crossing the border my first time, too. The border guard asked me, "Do you have any weapons?" I said, "What do you need?"  
.
They gave me one phone call. I had to decide whether to call a lawyer or risk being blacklisted by my fave Montreal agency. I called the agency to cancel.

END OF MESSAGE