Every so often a post or thread arises about the ways in which we differentiate between civvy and hobby sex. Now to me, sex is sex; it is wonderful and to be enjoyed fully inside and outside of the hobby. However there have been enough threads or posts indicating that this may not be the case for all. From "I would never ask my wife to do that" to "I would never do that with my boyfriend". So here goes the question:
 
How do you differentiate sex with the SO from hobby sex?  
 
Guys: Do you pursue your fantasies and desires fully with your SO? Do you hold back and seek some things only from providers?
 
Ladies: Do you do the same? Does your SO get your full menu or is it more limited? Expanded?
 
Yes, I know that home is where the heart is and there is more emotion, feeling and love; this question is about the fantasy, the physicality, the down and the dirty. What is on and off the table for the hobby versus SO sex FOR YOU?
 
Feel free to alias up to answer. I am simply genuinely curious.  

P4P sex:  8
Civie sex:  5

P4P sex has the freedom to ask for what you want, and not have to worry about pleasing her.  The envelope takes care of that very nicely, and that's the way it should be.  Of course not every gal is a 10, and some gals make up for that with their wit and charm, which is beyond the scope of the topic at hand.

With civie sex one has to consider the desires of the gal, and while I am not averse to performing any actions, and in fact enjoy that, too often the sex is limited to a few menu items, and as time goes on, it seems like vanilla becomes the plate du jour everyday till even that peters out.

I'm not even going to get into the baggage issue as again that is beyond the scope of the question, but if you want a winning bet on sex, the hobby is where to place it.

I can still remember sex with my most recent SO, but barely.  It got totally routine and obligatory, on both our parts.  All the anger and other emotional baggage made true intimacy virtually impossible.  Why would I want to do that again?

So the sex was great and the baggage minimal, but all things, both good and bad, always seem to come to an end.

My lines are so blurry where it comes to hookers vs civvies I really can't tell the difference between the two anymore, and that's just the way I like it.

It does for me. And honestly, it's usually better for me. She doesn't gag herself on my cock and I haven't CIM at home in probably a decade, but she is hot as hell and we know each other really well.  I just like some variety, and like sex to look like a porn with a 25 year old now and then.  But overall, except for maybe one encounter where me and a provider were just perfectly in sync, sex is better with somebody you know.

for a cross between a hooker and a civvy.
How about hivvy?

All I can remember of it is it was far too little(married or otherwise), more often than not "vanilla", and often proved as(or more) costly than P4P in many ways.

the company of his wife but likes variety.  

I like Civvy Sex-not just with the SO but with a gal you have been working at seducing for a while like a co-worker, neighbor, that sort of sex!  That is awesome and much better than most P4P !!!  But...P4P is awesome as well and I have a handful of favorites who know how to get it done !

It's too hard for me to type, so here's my condensed answer:

The biggest difference for me is when I'm seeing a P4P guy, I know I'm being judged more and the first time I meet a guy in this world I'm going to be intimate. So it's HARDER for me to relax real fast. I have to try and be my absolute best in all areas with someone I don't know well. That can be harder than real life intimacy where I know I'm not being judged on every little thing, and there's no detailed writing of my time with a guy.

My menu doesn't really vary unless IRL I have a committed relationship, then one thing may change.

That's a wrap!

Steph

It used to for me also, and I truly liked fucking my then wife.  I can say that the craziness died down after awhile but every now and then she'd DT me or let me CIM and it was like early Christmas!  We knew how to get each other off.  With providers sometimes just doing a new girl is enough for me or she's just very good, but other times I miss sex with the old ball and chain.  I never went to sleep unsatisfied.  Not sure if I'll return there one day but as of right now I can remember many more mind-blowing nights with SO's than with providers, but Ive spent well over 10 times the amount of time with SO's than with providers so take that as it is.

I'm usually  not the  shy guy or the type  to hold back my words, desires or feelings, with long or short term GF's.

Dear Steph:
I was just wondering if you were to have a civilian relationship what would be the prototype person that you would see given your occupation? What questions and what observations would you make that you might otherwise not do if you weren't adult companionship professional? Also what is the level of security that you would be looking for in a mate considering the nature and scope of your occupation?

Two way street...

Steph

But I also enjoy knowing that I am being desired too - and of course you get this much more from civvies (and I haven't yet turned the corner to the point where this isn't possible).

I'm pretty vanilla anyway, so the only difference would be the envelope.

It's been my experience with you that you very much like mutual pleasure, both in and out of the sack, so stop with that already, lol!



Steph

Not for nothing but I am not a VIP Member. Henceforth I wouldn't have access to pm's.

Pleasing is a lot more fun when you know that you don't have to.

1/2 the pleasure of an experience is in the mind, and the state of mind has a lot to do with that.

Is great.  Just not often enough, less acrobatic due to weight and knee issues, also, even though she is Mediterranean by descent, there's no Greek.

P4P is FUN.  For me, it's been very empowering, fulfilling, and dare I say, even an overall healing experience.  It's obviously taught me a great deal about sex and sensuality, as well as the inner workings of the minds of men.  Over time, I've become rather selective about who I am comfortable with meeting - which is not to say that I have a laundry list of criteria a gentleman must meet, only that I try to meet with gentlemen with whom I think I will be compatible, and who take at least a little bit of time to engage me as a person and tell me a bit about themselves - and in my experience that has really stacked the deck in favor of both myself and my suitor having a great time.  When you develop good chemistry with someone, and see them multiple times - that, for me, is the real sweet spot, and it feels very much like a friendship with benefits.  You can slowly become an expert at pushing that person's sensual buttons, and you grow to care about each other, but with fewer of the harsh rules and expectations that come with a civie relationship.  It's warm and friendly, like a roll in the hay with an old pal.

Here's a friendly hint: if you're going to try to post in the erudite style you seem to like, please don't butcher the language whilst doing it.
Conan would appreciate it.

and an enema kit.  Properly prepped she might learn to become a butt freak.

with, i am not a marathon fucking person in my real life or if for my actual enjoyment, 15 min is like tops.  
               Some hobby sex or my appts i do like 17 different positions and activities. i wouldnt wanna do that for my own pleasure or in my spare time. . .  
              I guess i simply out couldnt fuck like i am recieving 400 bucks for free, or want too.
 i like just kinda well boring easy just a quick normal fuck, I dont whip out strap ons or offer prostate massages, if its for free and something i am going to actually enjoy i dont wanna be doing stuff til my arms hurt like during an appt i am fully prepared to oerform for time paid for maybe 60 min maybe more, in reall life i dont wanna be givin a bj for more than 5 min and sex eh maybe 15, and being snuggly, long make out sessions, i am like ok quick fuck get off, then get out of my face kinda. i am not a mushy , huggy, snuggly, and cant stand any one tryin to be lovey dovey with me. . Thats my difference from appt to whats happening in real life, An ideal real life fuck would be like just a quick fuck, kissing i can pass on and care less about too.  
                                but becuase i dont feel a need to have sex more than one to three times a week and worse if i do work alot no way am i havn sex for sport on spare time . for me the appts enough s already more sex than i feel i even need or can take on. I definetly recently began datin a customer who was a wicked sweet heart cute nice. But i found myself just not able to swing fucking in civvie life and the fucking i need to be doin to accomplish my goals,  
 . And i am cool with it, i dont need dick in my face 24/7, just maybe half the day works, ...........................lol
   but in real life i am not crazy or energetic in bed maybe too tired from work? who knows and who cares, i dont,

In fact percentage wise, that comes to more greek with civies than with providers.

But it still isn't a good enough reason to take civie sex over P4P.

Even mentioning ass play to her gets me the old stink eye and a hurt look and a "I already told you no, if you love me you wouldn't ask me anymore!" End of story.  I get little enough sex from her now, I ain't jeopardizing what I do have for something I may or may not like.

this world fills many different needs for different people, and that the physicality isn't necessarily the dominant need or motivation  - just one of many. I guess variety truly is the spice of life; in more than one way!

1) not often enough (don't need or want every day but maybe every other?)
2) my wife can't give me a very good wet, deep or non-teeth blowjob. She tries and tries and is getting better but I'll be 80 by the time she gets it right.  

so it doesn’t matter

I rather exert effort working out, doing side projects, or at work.

Sometimes humor is couched in reality.  I saw that truth and answered the reality.

...newbie here... I'm here because I've found that my guy gets a fill of me...in every way, then disappears for days to a week and a half or so. I'm lonely...and he know this. I am what some call insatiable, so once we've satisfied each other...well I playfully tell him that he's got a 20 minute break. But really, I want it every day...and to answer the (?)... I put everything on the table for him...it's "whatever you like". But he takes so long to return to me.

The physical is the dominate need and motivation when deciding if he is "The One". I later learned, while having a conversation with one of my brothers, that...that wasn't normal. It is what it is for me. If he can't please me, why would I stay? I would wind up cheating on him. I prefer monogamy, but when "The One"s not around when you need him...it's like damn. And, I'm not tryin to be with anyone else, but my body...isn't trying to wait. It's been a couple of weeks now since my last encounter with sex...i haven't even had the desire to masturbated. But look at me...I'm here. I'd say my guy is in trouble, and he knows this not. Or, maybe doesn't care. ...i must do me. I'm tired of waiting.

I hear ya, mine have said to big and thick, not happening, thank God for providers!

drive her friggen crazy with as much teasing as she can stand. I love to please a women but eventually want to be pleased. With my SO there is no clock, I can take my time and take her to the point were she is begging to fuck her (good times). It begins at dinner with flirting and casual drinks, heats up on the dance floor, the taxi ride is filled with lust, we barely make it through the door the passion is boiling over. We may only make 15 minutes because we just cant stand it any longer or we may play, tease & please for hours. The point is we got there through a mutual connection and consideration for each others needs.