Here is proof that every woman is truly different. I have no doubt that some of these tips work for every single woman. I also have no doubt that there is no woman on earth for whom all of these tips are accurate.
I speak only for myself with respect to each of these but here goes.....
#1: Mmmm, I dunno. Too much moaning on your part would probably get me to giggling, erasing whatever progress you've made up to that point. Some soft moans, yes, but don't overdo it.
#2. oh yes, this is a definite. Nothing makes an orgasm more powerful than a long slow buildup.
#3: Not so much. In fact, this is a bit of a pet peeve. That nice soft relaxed tongue will have me climbing the walls. Too strong, and quite frankly it can HURT. I really hate 'giving directions' cause I feel like it just kills it for both me and him if I am back seat driving so to speak, buuuuuut, 90% of the time when I do give directions, it is to say "not so hard with the tongue" LOL
#4: Fingers are great for building excitement, but I absolutely cannot cum while being fingered. It is just too distracting. And oddly enough, I prefer that my G spot just be left alone. It is just too damned sensitive. I'm weird that way.
#5. Please just don't. Not unless you use lube. Saliva is not an adequate lube, nor are vaginal juices.
#6. Please don't. Its distracting. I have a one track mind. Again, that's just me.
#7. Spread the labia, definitely. Just don't stretch them. What feels great about spreading them open just a litle is that all the attention is then focused on the clit, and that's wonderful. Just don't stretch. That really doesnt feel good. As to the flicking part, refer back to the difference between a hard and soft tongue. A soft tongue use liberally, a hard tongue use sparingly. Don't 'flick', circle and tease is better 
#8. Well, if you enjoy penetrating with your tongue, I won't tell you no, but it honestly doens't do a thing for me. Sorry.
#9. Oh yes, definitely try out different positions. by the way, 69 doesn't necessarily mean one partner has to be physically on top of the other either. Mmmmmmmm, how about a little standing 69 with my head dangling off the bed at just the right height.....*smile*
#10. NO NO NO NO NO. Suction HURTS. A very little, emphasis on VERY LITTLE suction just to hold the clit steady while your soft tongue dances and teases is mind blowing. Anything more than just a little light suction friggin HURTS.
#11. Just make sure that whatever mint, mouthwash, or other item you prefer is sugar free 
#12. OH HELL YEAH BABY. LOVE it.
Every woman is different, and all of these tips are going to be dead on accurate for some women while not accurate for others. Pay attention to her body, not the sounds she's making. The body never lies. Take note of what you were doing when you feel her thighs shudder, or when you notice she suddenly stops breathing for a moment, or starts breathing harder and faster. Her response will tell you when you are getting warmer, and when she's about to explode. That is the best diagram of all 