Most of the manginas want to pay to please you because they have never pleased a woman in real life. It makes them feel good. Those type of hobbyists will also be happy to go to the store and by tampons for you.

I know that you would much rather see a real hobbyist who will allow you to do your job, which is to please us.

Please be cautious of the manginas. They also tend to turn into stalkers. We have two of them from Ohio who bloviate on this very board.  

How do you ladies deal with clients that are insistent on pleasing you?

The ones that just won't stop groping and pulling at your breasts, asking "what do you like", etc
How/when do you tell them to stop "trying" to please you (because they're not and they can't ) and just get on with what they're paying you for?
Where does this pleaser attitude even come from?  Especially when most clients know we're faking to some degree anyway.

Guys, do you try to be pleasers? Why?

Sorry for the ranting, I had the groppiest, grabbiest client today. Ugh!

Most people, men and women get a good amount of enjoyment in sex from giving it. You can't have it both ways. Women can't tell us that they aren't sex machines and that they are real people with feelings and the like AND ALSO get on our case when we try to treat you like a real person. I mean really....

Also, some of the men don't just want sex, they want to feel desired. You say he "can't" do anything that feels good to you. Really? That seems odd.

There's another recent thread about this.

I'm not into the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am and it's all about me and to hell with you attitude.

Dont get this rant. Just tell him "ahhhhhhhhhh...thats it...you found it! My GOLD spot!!!! You're the ONLY one thats EVER found it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! C'mon, is this THAT difficult??????

Would be making sure to use phrases like "NON GFE" in your ads or on your website.  

I'm only half kidding here.  I've seen many one-and-done girls who just wanted to get naked, get me off and get out.  That's fine if that's what I was expecting.  It really comes down to how you market yourself.  If you don't reciprocate with your customers when they try to "please" you it's only a matter of time before your reviews will reflect your actions during appointments.

...to feel, to know that you can please a women.  It is a very, VERY important part of the experience for some men, more important than the sex itself.  I always tell a provider right away that I want to satisfy her first, before anything else takes place.  I am also mature (old?) enough to very astutely take cues from her, what she is enjoying, what she is not.  I never, ever ask "do you kike when I do this, when I do that: that would just be fucking....awful.  It is a "feel" thing and there is certainly a point where if she doesn't appear to be getting off you move on.  It would be uncomfortable for both parties and totally unfair to her to keep trying as in "I'm not stopping until you cum for me".  That is just fucking stupid.

Whether you cum or not, it is important to me that you know I made the effort to bring you pleasure as well, and I do hope that you would appreciate it at least at the someone extending a coutesy level.  It is just the way I, and I suspect many others, am wired.  Again, a base human need to feel that you provided that value to her during what is an arrangement for the most intimate of experiences.

Sounds like you just drew an idiot today, and the beauty is..you don't need to see him again.

See this is where I need a new smiley face.

I read this all the time.
I'm easily led in the sac. I like it if a girl tells me what she likes.
The ladies usually outsmart me into doing what they want anyway.
Might as well go with it.

If he is pulling on your tits, tell him how much you like gentle touch.
Use the Betty Boop voice..  Drives us into submission..

It doesn't have to wham bam thank you mam, but its YOUR time you paid for, so make it all about you. In the short 1/2/3 hours we spend together, it's unlikely that you're going to learn how to be pleasing to that particular woman anyway. And if they're like me, having some random guy pulling at their breasts and nipples to "please" them is most likely doing the opposite. This was the first time I've been actively repulsed by a client, and its because he wouldn't stop "pleasing me".... and failing miserably at it.

So what if a client wants to "please" you. Just fake your enjoyment. Some guys actually like to give even more than receive. When you are with someone (in civilian life) you actually care about don't you feel good trying to please your partner? Some guys want that type of feeling with a provider. Even though it is fake it is "our" fantasy. Lighten up a bit CuteChic.

I do want to be treated like a person.... a person doing her job.

I don't go to publix and ask the checkout guy how I can make his cashiering experience better. I treat him like a person who's a checkout guy, and move on. I respect him as a person, but its not my job to make his cashieringv experiene pleasurable.

I'm paid to provide a service, let me do that, and then leave and while you're with me be cordial and treat me with respect, thats all I really want. I really don't need to be pleased by you, it doesn't make me angry or upset if I'm not. I don't expect to be pleased. If I did, i'd be the one paying you lol.

Watch carefully and do the opposite.

I know the mangina thing is a bit of a insultaround here, but it does sort of feel like that.

...like they want too much intimacy from me, I can fake enjoyment, pleasue etc... I get paid to do that. What I cant deal with is this "needing" to please me thing, the real me. We all know its a fantasy, why can't we just keep it like that. Let's fantasize that I am pleased, so pleased that I just want to please you and have you stop touching me.

I enjoy my job. But its a job, and its not about me. I don't need to be pleased, and I don't need anyone to get my tampons. I have my real life for that, you know?

So all you want is john to take his CBJ and leave.

Sure...just put that on your site and change to BP for the ads.

And stick to the half hours  

Stick to the old guys who fall asleep after ten minutes or so.

Are you good at reading lullabye's?

Maybe you'd like to play some BDSM games?  

A GREAT deal of my enjoyment in this hobby is giving pleasure.
Those who don't enjoy GETTING pleasure from those who enjoy GIVING pleasure should perhaps consider leaving the profession.

Lol, no need to get snippy silly.

Funnily enough, I'm not a full service provider, which probably makes it worse.
Maybe women that are, are accustomed to it?

Are you a groper/grabber?

Posted By: ChgoCPA

So all you want is john to take his CBJ and leave.

Sure...just put that on your site and change to BP for the ads.

And stick to the half hours  

Posted By: someCuteChic

I do want to be treated like a person.... a person doing her job.

I don't go to publix and ask the checkout guy how I can make his cashiering experience better. I treat him like a person who's a checkout guy, and move on. I respect him as a person, but its not my job to make his cashieringv experiene pleasurable.

I'm paid to provide a service, let me do that, and then leave and while you're with me be cordial and treat me with respect, thats all I really want. I really don't need to be pleased by you, it doesn't make me angry or upset if I'm not. I don't expect to be pleased. If I did, i'd be the one paying you lol.

Posted By: ITAdmin

Most people, men and women get a good amount of enjoyment in sex from giving it. You can't have it both ways. Women can't tell us that they aren't sex machines and that they are real people with feelings and the like AND ALSO get on our case when we try to treat you like a real person. I mean really....

Also, some of the men don't just want sex, they want to feel desired. You say he "can't" do anything that feels good to you. Really? That seems odd.

that's terrible! It's almost as if you we're in a profession where guys pay to see you naked and touch your body. So very sorry you had to go through that traumatic experience sweetie pie!!!

with his groping. And he probably could have done something to make you feel good if you had told him--like just getting on and fucking you. That's his fault. But this is frustrating--if you want to be treated as a whore, we can do that; but to paraphrase another poster, we're not going to be thinking of your much as a feeling person. Personally, I like sucking on breasts and DATY, just because I enjoy so much of the sex act, and it turns me on when the person I'm with is turned on. Otherwise, I'm just masturbating into a woman's hole.

Sex is supposed to be about give and take. Not some assembly line job. If I wanted that I could sit at home with my hand for free.

At it's very finest it's about a connection between two souls. Believe me a lot of us can tell when it's totally fake. We may be men but we're not all that dumb.

Not all the time.....you know what a rigger is?

So you do FBSM and old johnnie boy just likes to play radio free Europe with your nipples...right?

Listen...I don't need to dial that in.  And I only grab if you're about to fall over.  And you thank me as I wouldn't want to see a face plant.  

Find a nice ProDomme who can show you how riggers like to play.  You may like it...who knows.

And no faking in BDSM....those tears and laughs are always real.  Depends on the type of "fun" we're having.

-- Modified on 3/26/2013 2:09:59 PM

But do you honestly believe you're giving pleasure to a woman you've just met and know nothing about?

I don't think there's anything wrong with the fantasy of being a pleaser that is pleasing this woman, but when it stops being a fantasy, and you really do believe you are pleasing her and that you must and that you "need" to, that's when its gone too far imo.

I ran into a provider like and stopped the appointment. You havea bad attitude and don't get it.

the guy is actually annoying me or hurting me with his techniques, there is no reason to "act" like anything. I am far from the demure type, so I just tell them "Do it like THIS" and they either do it, or we move on to something else. There is no rule that says you have to offer GFE, but if you advertise yourself as such, expect to attract clients who want you to get off. You don't have to actually get off every time, but at least lay back and enjoy. If for nothing else, it will burn up 20 min. of his time bwahahhaha.

You sound like a girl from a blog, I just posted on thread down below. There is nothing wrong with the type of service you want to provide, BUT it's not GFE. You can't exactly charge on the ups of 400 per date, and only offer blow and gos.

-- Modified on 3/26/2013 3:19:36 PM

Maybe you can just take his "real" money, but he can "fantasize" about what it would have been like to have spent his money on a "real" escort where she would have managed to give the illusion the guy paying her was actually pleasing her! Wow, there's a new concept in p4p huh?

And why stop there? Why dont the two of you just "fantasize" about him paying you as well?

LMAO....good call on the Ohio Stalkers. Gosh...

Sometimes it just doesn't work and you fake it till he makes it.  

As to why I try to be a pleaser...for the same reason I take you out to a show and/or a nice meal. Or for the same reason we go to a museum or a concert.   I kinda like it if you have a good time.  I've been fortunate enough to be with ladies that have no problem sharing what works for them and what doesn't.  

Communication is really all it's cracked up to be

He actually really was annoying me, doing some odd twisty/flicky nipple thing, with questions of how much I like it in between. And no matter how many times I said i'd like to focus on him... he kept doing it! I'm like jesus dude, take the fucking hint lol.

I don't have to fuck them anyway, and i don't advertise as gfe, but fbsm. I charge a lot per hour but not 400.

Also, his breath literally smelled like feces. Like actual shit. Like he ate a bag of shit, decided he was good, and decided to call me.

It was just bad, awful.

If you are FBSM, no worries girl...that shit is not exactly included, and tittie twisters are for 12 year olds. "Breath like dog poop?" That is just foul. I thought for FBSM, these guys could not even touch you girls? None of my girls allow any of that crap. It's a body rub, bjcim, and you're outta there!


-- Modified on 3/26/2013 3:46:44 PM

But tittie twisters for 12 year olds?

Fine...clothespins are more fun anyhow  

Feces breath? Well, that helps explain a lot about this situation. The guy was just gross. Give your clients mouthwash from now on. I think that is the ritual will all Korean girls in LA.

Yeah, I don't know where he learned that... twisty/flicky thing.

But then I'm like, I'm not surprised you're having to pay for this, no woman is going to put up with that shit, or the shit breath, for free lol.

I'm fine with being touched as long as there isn't any type of insertion, I just don't want them trying to "please" me. I mean honestly, I'm not turned on AT ALL. So even if they did the perfect mechanics, I still wouldn't be aroused. That's just not a part of my job description.

please, if you think you can compare providing/hobbying to standing in a check out line, you need another course in logical fallacies.

providing is by defniition sexual intimacy.  cashering is one of the least intimate human interactions there is.  it's not even apples and oranges, it's apples and distributor caps.

for a large part of the population, sexual intimacy is a two way street.

maybe not for you.  you sound less like an escort than a street walker.  just sayin'.  and that's not a perjorative or judgement, it's just an observation about your level of human contact parameters.

but also remember part of sexual intimacy is boundaries.  be confident enough to say "no, that's not what i like.  what i like is making you happy."

ps didn't occur to you that grabbing your hooters was what got the guy off?  and if that's not on your menu, make it clear.

but don't get disgusted with partners that want to please you.  that's just human nature.

Dear Ms. More:
Although this is not a setting for civilian relationships, what are some of the things that you would say when you want a man to satiate you? Also how do you demonstrate to him what pleases you?  Also would you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert? And how comfortable have you been expressing you needs and wants behind closed doors? Also could this be a stipulation on whether you would repeat with a client or have a long term relationship?

with an escort. As far as trying to perform or please her.

It is for the reason you mention in your post. I have no idea if she is REALLY in the mood for it or if i can do what she likes. also, there is no point to it for me because I know she isn't fully invested (emotionally) in the encounter. OTOH,I have yet to see an nympho type who wants sex all day.Maybe it would be different???

I'm a pleaser by nature so I try to do it in another way (other than sex.)

agree 100%

nothing wrong with her or her post or the way she thinks.you dont have to see her. she doesnt have to take your "advice"

but is that not a part of the GFE?!  that is "acting" like your enjoying it!  I know that would be how I would see it.... According to wikipedia (where I get all my hot escort tips!) the GFE  is as follows (please not the references to cuddling foreplay and cunnilingus):

"The "girlfriend experience" generally involves more personal interaction than a traditional call girl or escort offers; it varies widely from person to person, however. There is a focus on not just having sex, but also having more of a comprehensive experience.

Often sessions last longer and are "no rush," which means the call girl spends the full advertised time rather than rushing out after the sex is over. Common activities usually offered by GFE escorts include kissing and/or french kissing, cuddling and foreplay.

A call girl advertising the provision of a "girlfriend experience" is implying that she provides deep french kissing (DFK), "full service" (intercourse) usually with protection, and fellatio and cunnilingus, both with or without protection. Advertising a "girlfriend experience" is sometimes used by call girls to promote business."

I do enjoy pleasing my partner as I did just yesterday.  But I am a mature gentleman and gentle man.  I let her guide me by her movements & sounds.  But we have seen each other many times.  On our second appontment said ATF said "I never cum with clients!"  The donation is always on her dresser when I leave her bed, but she's never repeated that statement to me.  

I never GIVE a woman an O.  I give her the FREEDOM to go there if she chooses.   I am just the motor but she is the driver, directs the play.  Even if she does not it should still be pleasant...  I would never subject a woman to something unpleasant for my own gratification.  As a mature man, I have had several successes with this approach & no failures...  (though she does not always cum...  her choice or her needs of the moment).

I recognize that while women & men are all constructed similarly to each other, they are all unique.  We revel in the uniqueness...  But it is always a gentle learning.  At one time (as a much younger man), I might have assumed that once one mastered a technique, that would transfer across all of woman kind.  It does not & now, I know better.  The guiding is subtile & a gentleman does well to be sensitive to it.  

I am sorry that you encountered a ham fisted lunk...   whose life in & out of the hobby would have been improved by sensitivity training.  I imagine many gals deal with this.  I do not know how any women breaks through the porn induced mistakes & to get the man to want to learn.  I want to assure HIM that if he learns to put his partner first, to please HER as SHE wants to be pleased...  he'll find a new confidence with any woman he might be with.  

To the OP:  If something Hurts or Tickles (annoyingly) speak up.  Say "OUCH!!"  with a nice tone, a giggle or 2 & direct him to something you do enjoy.  Example:  ATF has very sensitive nipples, likes for me to put my mouth on them & to make shapes & patterns with my tonge.  

If you really don't want a guy to please you at all...  Are you only providing for the money all the while hating it & the men whose company you keep?  (My EX used marriage as such a tool...  no wonder the Marriage failed.)  I have to wonder if you belong in this business.  Certainly not GFE.  Because this gentle play is part of GFE.    

We ask a lot of providers.  It takes a lot of skills to stroke an ego while directing the action in the pleasant direction.  It may not always be successful.  

Finally, some

She is not GFE, and does not advertise herself as such. Thank goodness lol. Both her and the guys would be miserable.

We're really not that emotionally invested.

Don juan pleaser skills aren't going to make us want to give you your money back, we're not going to brag to our friends about how awesome you are, we're jus not. And it's not out of dislike or hate for men or hate of being in the provider industry, its just that this is our job. If we wanted to be pleased, we wouldn't charge you to do it lol.

Want to please us? Give us some more money lol. That's really all its about at the end of the day. And its honestly not personal.

You completely ignored the part of my post where I said people get pleasure from giving it. That is a basic part of the sexual experience.

Then you get the guys like earthtones to see you and have NO other interests.

Just advertise to those guys...and if his breath smells like a shit hole...then maybe get some Listerine for those guys.

Oh...and stay dressed.  And wear some armor.

You have a website?  Let's all take a peek...shall we?

forgive me if this has already been said (i'm a slow reader)...
but perhaps, if they're asking how to please you, they really want to know & they think they could learn from you.  we pay teachers to teach us all kinds of things... why not apply the same principle here?
just my 2 cents

She's a low end FBSM hooker that just wants to do the rub and tug.

No problem...but she should also know how many really good "massage" gals are out there that know what the hell they're doing.

Maybe she'll figure it out...but I have money that says she never does.

No shit, and he just banged my gal Alyssa! What I would pay to be with her ass!

Well, you know the gloves are really coming off when someone gets called a hooker around here lol.
Those are fighting words

Honestly, I've never been very concerned with with other prviders are, um, providing lol. As fas I can tell it doesn't affect my income anyway lol

I was under the impression that she was a GFE provider, but she is not. So, she is not exactly lying to guys to get them in there, and then refusing to let them do anything. She is FBSM...simple as that.

we can stil have a good time without trying to make it more than what it is.

it's a hard thing to do because peoples atitudes and opinions are involved. either side might be offended by actions or words.

what you experienced would mortify me because most important thing to me is try to do is make her feel comfortable. if i ever sensed that kind of reaction I would stop immediately.

Maybe this guy was used to this and didnt think it would bother you. can't fault him for that.but you also have to speak up.

Had you started off with "I'm a FBSM hooker"...most of the replies would have been different.

But you wanted to see how this would play out...well done  

Now how about a link to your site?

And all the "female" posters here are hookers.  Well except for hotplants.  She's one of the "boys".  She won't do the tittie twister thingy either.  But I'll bet she likes hers played with...right?

Posted By: someCuteChic

Well, you know the gloves are really coming off when someone gets called a hooker around here lol.
Those are fighting words

Honestly, I've never been very concerned with with other prviders are, um, providing lol. As fas I can tell it doesn't affect my income anyway lol

I actually don't mind a client pleasing me as long as he's respecting my boundaries and isn't trying to be too rough. But I love getting my nipples pinched and nibbled as well as pussy ate. Just no fingers inside. =)

Hey cutechic,

not sure if i'd call this advice cuz you'll figure this out for yourself.

don't waste your time with accountants from Illinois.

Posted By: someCuteChic

Well, you know the gloves are really coming off when someone gets called a hooker around here lol.
Those are fighting words

Honestly, I've never been very concerned with with other prviders are, um, providing lol. As fas I can tell it doesn't affect my income anyway lol

I could have, but my question wasn't directed just towards fbsm providers. I figure most of the ladies here are full service, and I'm sure they've dealt with the insistent pleasers more than I've had to.

This thread has very few female repsonders for a reason though lol, I will say that.

I could link my site, but then that would sort of defeat the purpose of this whole alias thing. Kwim?

It's a requirement for all new aliases to post a link to their websites.  Did you NOT see that memo?

We've had too many brown envelopes and aliases pretending to be newbies.

Not you of course.

Yea...where are all the brown envelope hookers to offer their pearls of wisdom?  I'll bet they're off to Taco Bell before the meeting.

Think about the Liseterine...you could use it as well.  All the hookers I know use it...and ask their johns to join them for a listerine cocktail.  

Let's take a peek at that site.  Maybe some of "us" can help you with that as well  

Posted By: someCuteChic

I could have, but my question wasn't directed just towards fbsm providers. I figure most of the ladies here are full service, and I'm sure they've dealt with the insistent pleasers more than I've had to.

This thread has very few female repsonders for a reason though lol, I will say that.

I could link my site, but then that would sort of defeat the purpose of this whole alias thing. Kwim?

When I want a FBSM hooker I don't troll on BP looking.

Plenty of really hot ones that get how to really play this game.  

Notsocutechic is your speed though....half hour rub and tug for $ 75.  I'll bet if you tell her your TER handle she'll see you for $ 50.

NO reviews please...she's trying to be UTR  

How you doing on those knee pads?  

Posted By: earthshined

Hey cutechic,

not sure if i'd call this advice cuz you'll figure this out for yourself.

don't waste your time with accountants from Illinois.

Posted By: someCuteChic

Well, you know the gloves are really coming off when someone gets called a hooker around here lol.
Those are fighting words

Honestly, I've never been very concerned with with other prviders are, um, providing lol. As fas I can tell it doesn't affect my income anyway lol

Awww, someones being mean lol.

You naughty boy you

Agree with my friend here.  I mentioned this in another post, but I took a sex survey that a friend in the adult industry had prepared and one of the questions was this, "what is your ultimate sexual fantasy?"  Truth be told, my fantasy is more about being able to 100% satisfy a certain friend that I have a crush on than it is about myself.  

In regards to this world, I still feel the same way.  I hope to have a true gfe experience with my provider.  Friendly chat, cuddling, the occasional gift, complimenting her, and of course sharing an intimate time together.  I also value what a provider can potentially teach me relationships and what not.

Daisy Mae wants me....lol

He was out of line. Pushing for items not on a girl's menu is a NO and you are absolutely right to be upset. If he wants a GFE provider, he can book with a GFE provider, not a FBSM provider. Boundaries should be communicated clearly, and if they are, there is no (good) reason for a client to purposely overstep them.

As a GFE provider, I can tell you that being (or doing a damn good job of acting) turned on is part of the job. That's the nature of the experience we offer. When we're turned on, it turns the guy on. Why would anyone spend hundreds of dollars to just be barely tolerated?

Yes, a lot of girls fake it to make the $$. But, it completely depends on the girl, her clientele, her attitude toward escorting. When I worked for an agency, a lot of the clients I saw were jerks. So in that case, I found it unreasonable that they expected me to be turned on. But the guys I see now are generally very respectful, both of myself and my body. So I'm much more open to receiving pleasure from them.

I know some ladies (but not as many as guys would like to think) who are promiscuous, and do enjoy having a lot of sex with a variety of partners.

Speak for yourself, there actually are providers out there who enjoy being pleased.

And you believe you're pleasing them?

I better be getting some pleasure...hell that's why I do it!!!!!!!

Trying get me to or pressuring me to come based on what worked another lady is BS b/c all ladys' bodies are different. Not gonna happen, b/c I like to enjoy a real sexual journey based on what I like w/ a partner willing to follow my guidance to pleasing ME. I suggest finding another client base if you can afford to. Seek out men willing to explore your body as unique. If groping and pulling at your boobs is unpleasant, say something!! Communication is key especially if you have a client who really cares what you enjoy, not what he thinks or the last girl liked

You already know exactly how to make the cashier's experience pleasurable though. Say "Hey, how's it going?", smile, and be a person instead of another face in the crowd. I can vouch that when I was a cashier, the best days were the ones where the majority of people were friendly, and didn't stall me by being overly friendly, and something didn't go drastically wrong - and that applies to every job I've had since.

I think I'll move to Indiana

Don't be a smart ass, sparky! She did not just say he "touched her boobs" but that he was twisting, and flicking, and some other bullshit I can't remember now.

indeed.

Some of them, yes absolutely.  

If they want to please me- that'll work. I just tell to go for some DATY with light, quick stimulation and try to get a climax or two out of it.

is "user posts ignored" so no offense taken.

He posted that he ignored posts as well.

Don't some providers need some stimulation to lubricate? There is one, for instance, who says she needs some DATY before she is ready to be penetrated, and hates the idea of being lubricated artificially. Instead of asking "what do you like" I would tell her to touch herself while I watch. It did take me some teaching before I learned to lighten up -- these daya it would be more stroking, less squeezing

Obsessive freak. More useless advice from a poor guy whose wife is sick of the sight of his naked body. Mrs. ccpa still has it made...she spends your money and never has to bother with your sweaty ministrations or the sound of you begging for a BJ.

Seems like you sure tend to make a lot of assumptions.

thing is when you actually explain how they then get bored within two seconds bec it's not their usual way that they think works on everyone zzzzzzzzzzz you can't flippin win