Something has been happening lately, and I'm trying to figure out what has changed.

I've always been friendly with my neighbors, but lately, there's been a handful of the wives that talk to me more, and even stop by to talk if I'm outside working.

It's not very flirtatious, and they're not coming on to me, but it has definitely increased, and the things we discuss are much more personal.

Since it's more than one lady...am I acting differently than I have before? Have I lost some of my shyness? Am I more self-confident than before?

Do men that hobby behave this way? I don't mean an arrogance in any way...just a comfort with talking with and being themselves with the opposite sex.

What do you think?

I've always maintained that steady hobbying with a good provider can increase one's self esteem.

I'm sure John Galt has something to say on this subject------btw, John, keep it short-------

But why not?  We have a lot to smile for.

If that equals self-confidence, then so be it.

You will carry yourself with that healthy glow when you feel good and an active sex life will give you that and other people will see something positive in you when you feel that way.

Some men need to hobby to find that self confidence.  Before hobbying, all your transactions with attractive women was colored by sub-agenda of getting laid.  Hard to be yourself when working on a covert goal in your mind, not honest.  Once you know you can get laid anytime, well, you're more relaxed.

There are others who have this self confidence naturally, as they have always been pretty  honest with themselves and others.  (Or they are really good bs'ers).

It's easier to smile when you feel self-confident, and the more you smile the more people respond to you in ways that increases your self-confidence even further. I like finding someone, who you can tell isn't experiencing the world as a very friendly place, and smile at them, and perform a little act of kindness, and see the change in their demeanor. It just makes my day. It's so much easier to do after you've just been with a beautiful woman.

I mean, paying for it ain't excatly my proudest moment. Not that I do it very often, but let's face it.... we'd rather be getting it based on our looks and personality, not our money. Some will disagree, but I believe their only kidding themselves. We're horny, want it and either 1) can't get it at all, 2) can't get it right then and there, or 3) can get it, but not the kind of body and face some escorts bring to the table. So we, or at least me, give n and dole out.

But, perhaps because you (in the general sense) know you can get laid without looks or personality factoring into it, it makes you care less how you come across. You're not trying to fuck them, that already taken care of. Which may very much allow for more confidence. I guess it depends on the person.

If nothing else, I have become totally unwilling to put up with civvie chick bullshit in the hope that I will get someplace with them.  Its not worth it.  I don't need their crap when a modest donation gets me an incredible romp with no strings attached.

This hasn't resulted in more civvie chicks dropping their panties but it HAS improved my attitude and decreased stress.

MVR

Personally, I have been with about 6 times as many civie women as providers sexually; so the mere act of seeing a provider does nothing for my confidence.

HOWEVER -- I disagree with the idea that because it is paid for, it can't help.

The fact is that, even if the experience is paid for, the SKILLS gained are every bit as real as skills gained elsewhere.

Sometimes, when confronted by a beautiful woman, a man gets flustered. There have even been studies on it. Even if paid, the experience of dealing with beautiful women in the hobby can help men when encountering beautiful women in real life. Maintaining a conversation with a beautiful scantily clad woman is STILL quite a skill!

Learning to read a woman's body and respond appropriately is STILL a skill.

And providers are some of the most sexually capable women out there. Kissing a provider can be a real learning experience, where you gain real skills that are applicable to women in the civie world.

I was told by a civie that I was a lousy kisser. I went to a provider, told her I was a lousy kisser, and paid her to instruct me. Now, because the skills I gained are real, I am more confident as a kisser.

ALSO -- the fact that providers may fake orgasms and stuff is not an issue.

Because of the complexity of females; and the fact that a hobbyist is not someone she freely chose as a mate; genuine orgasms will likely be rare. This does NOT necessarily reflect poorly on hobbyist technique, however.

If hobbyist technique is borne from the lady's lead, it WILL end up being far superior to technique with no training at all.

Even though I had plenty of great results with civies; I have to say that what I've learned from providers -- because they are often light years ahead of civies -- when applied to a civie, is absolutely devastating.

..."all your transactions with attractive women was colored by sub-agenda of getting laid"...

I have said this and got shot down for it...maybe coming from a dude it means something but seriously, that's what I have thought and will continue to think till proven otherwise. And not that it's a bad thing...it just is.

As much as I hate to declare simpatico with a republican I think I have to (no offense intended!).

I've casually hobbied for a few years but joined TER less than a year ago and have been fairly active since then.  I don't know what it is but over the past few months I've blatantly been hit on a few times (never happened before), have more female civie friends than ever before, and generally feel much more confident.

I think a small part of it is because at least once a month I am the best lover in the history of sex (or at least that's what the providers tell me), maybe I'm not quite so desperate for sex because I'm getting it from a different woman each month, or maybe the providers have sucked a smile onto my face.

Republican...for what its worth, I agree that the hobby has something to do with confidence and demeanor.

That is, men who are getting laid are more attractive to women than men who aren't.

Really.

The fact that the layage is paid makes no difference.

In addition -- and this happens to me whenever I've been seriously laid -- your body gives off "just been laid" pheromones that women find irresistible.

So, naturally, I sweat them out and shower thoroughly after a session.

I think you nailed it.

DITTO!