There may already be a thread for this, but I couldn't find it. Have been in the hobby for about 5 years. Seen quite a few. But there's 2 that I have fell completely for. Usual GFE the first few dates with each. And I feel there's such a connection, and the time flies, without really noticing time, when I am with them. The feeling's mutual with both, I feel. And I have fallen in love with these 2. Any suggestions? Advice? From both providers, as well as fellow hobbyists would be great. Thanks

The only thing that's new is you fell for TWO hookers, not just one.
Congratulations!

put the bills back in your pocket without you knowing it? That's a real test.  

Pretty much over 99% of my encounters have been P4P. of one form or another.  

 
Shit happens.. We are in pretty intimate business here.. GFE complicates shit.. Laws of probability suggest that you are not going to end up like Gere and Roberts.. That was a movie, and a stupid one..  

 
Now that you have fallen for not one, but two hookers, might as well test your luck and ask them out off the clock.. See if it's truly mutual or not. So next time you find yourself getting close, you can ward off the feelings  right in the beginning.  

 
BTW, how do you guys fall for 2 women at the same time.. Not like you are with one woman and develop feeling for another one, but two at the same damn time.. Shit.. there's gotta be some name for this psychological issue.. They got names for all kinds of shits in the shrink world.

-- Modified on 5/19/2021 10:34:03 PM

I try to fall in love with every hooker I see, and usually succeed.  I try to fall out of love within the same day, and so far always succeed.  Risky business, sure, but those feelings are where the entertainment value is for me.

a dozen, but it was serially over 12 years, not at the same time.  

It helps when you are able to reach the woman's real self instead of their provider persona. There often is a difference.

I'd love to see any kind of study that shows average length of time client/provider relationships last. Once it gets past P4P--how long are they together? Just based on the numerous threads that have appeared over the years on this subject I'd say over 90% bust up in less than 2 years.

Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

Brian, Brian, Brian, look at the things you wrote that I isolated above. Am I the only one who notices that you're really only expressing your own perception of these love reactions, not what either of these two women think about you? Heck, for them, this is a business, a for-profit business. It's possible that one or both of these women feels loving emotions for you, and it's just as possible that both or neither of them do.

Another angle is whether or not they each know you're falling in love with them, or know that you're seeing the other one, or that each knows you're falling in love with the other one. Yep, let a woman know that you're in love another woman and she'll think it's cute or sweet or charming. No chance of jealousy there at all.

You're not even in the position of listening to the big head instead of the little head, this is even worse: you're listening to your heart. Tap the brakes, Pal. Better yet, jam on the brakes, make a u-turn, take the nearest exit and chart a new course.

Agreed....tons of posts on the subject over the years.

Could be you are polyamorous by nature, in which case you've chosen the perfect "hobby".  Suggestions?  Repeat visits, become a regular, book longer sessions that involve some social time, even it's just smoozing on the couch, and enjoy your time with both of them for what it is: P4P.  Not to say one or both hasn't/or won't fall for you.  But the odds are against it.  If she has, you'll know soon enough, so why risk blowing a good situation with a declaration of love.  Here's an idea:  gobsmack yourself by arranging a MFF with the two of 'em.

As opposed to what? P4P is exactly what hobbying is, correct? Unless of course the 20 years you're referring to is something other than P4P.

When we are in our 20s, all we have to do is smack "it" against the wall and "it" will quickly stand at attention.  After we have "been with" more women than we can count, it takes something more for some of us to feel the ultimate stimulation.  Some of us play the mind game with ourselves (the GFE game), share a bit of vulnerability, a hybrid of intimacy, and maybe even something a bit more--however we individualize it.

 
My guess is, this simulation enhances the act, reminds us of some of our best times and does the trick.  If we truly knew everything about the ladies we visited--all of their nuances, and they knew everything about us--totally outside of the facade they help us build, have a feeling both parties would quickly snap back to reality.

 
It is quite amazing, the tricks our brains can play on us, when we want to get laid!  Again, all IMHO.

I`ve posted this before, so one more time  seems appropriate....  
My  very first provider many years ago sat me down at my kitchen table after play and proceeded to give this newbie some hobby tips that thankfully I paid attention too and are forever in my brain. Her most important tip was when she said "The biggest mistake that I see guys make in this hobby is falling in love with a provider. DON`T DO IT!  It`s a one way ticket to hell!"  
As she wagged her finger at me and I never forgot her words.  

This is a BUSINESS for them! (Write that down Brian and re-read it often) Take what they give and be thankful for it. Of course they will like some of us more than others just like we do with them. Ask for some OTC dinners, overnights and see if they go for that. Trust me,  you`ll know instantly where you stand.  If you get yesses, proceed with caution. She might like you enough to share more of herself but even so she`s still going to continue to fuck Tom, Dick and Harry, cause that`s what she does.

I have an ATF that I have been seeing continually for almost 5 years now, 50+ times? I get tons of OTC from her. We have a strong friendship that continues to grow but I never push the envelope and ask for more and just let her drive and go where she wants it to go. I`m thankful, blessed and extremely lucky and won`t  press for more and believe that`s  why I`m still in her grace.
You would do well to heed this and the advice of the other posters above.
Good luck.

PERFECT analogy. Spot fucking on!

20strojl, truer words were never written!
I had a semi-regular thing going with an escort I was seeing a couple of times a month for about four or five months. I was also seeing other escorts every now and then throughout the whole time. She shared with me that a previous client years earlier had passed away due to old age, he was retired and unmarried, so when he was alive, he had poured money and gifts on her so much that all of her bills were paid. At one point about halfway through the time I was seeing her, she let me know that she had lost a couple of other regular clients, and that I was one of the few who was still with her. Then COVID hit, and her financial situation took an even harder blow as fewer men were booking with her overall, including newbies, one-timers, and regulars.  

I began to see that instead of me always initiating contact, she started contacting me to see if and when I'd be seeing her the next time. It became apparent to me that for dollar signs, she had expectations of regular, set sessions with me once a week (we always met on the same day of the week) as opposed to semi-regular whenever our schedules coincided. That's when I made it clear to her that I wasn't like her rich client, I wasn't going to support her. I was very happy at her reslo as, she said to me, "No, not at all. I appreciate you bring there due me when you can, but I k ow the score. This is my job, and if I relied on you 100%, we'd have to have an agreement between us that we're exclusive. I would respect that, I'd drop all other clients and be exclusive to you, but I'd also expect you to maintain me financially. I know that's not what exists between us, so I don't look for it from you."

I appreciated her maturity.

Should be compared against civie relationships.  Many of them are shortlived as well.

Lol, this is genius, pure genius! Get them together and wait to see if there are positive fireworks or negative fireworks! They'll either like each other, love each other, dislike each other, hate each other, one will like the other but the other won't, one will love the other but the other won't, they'll both love him and it works out in his favor, they'll both hate him, they'll start a bisexual relationship with each other and leave him in the dust, the possibilities are endless!

and "I have fallen for a hooker and can't get up" threads are probably the three most common threads on TER. lol

Coming from a provider please don’t, just don’t. We are trying to make money not fall in love or go out on dates for free. I swear this shit always ends up in disaster...

Thanks so much for the wisdom. Have done it all with both. Lunches, over nights. Will take your wise advice and take it as it goes, and be happy with that.

On several dates, it has been both of their "treats".

I wouldn't have posted if it was just that. Feelings are mutual with both. Many dates over the years off the clock, lunches, several "free" rides, though I'll always leave something, Yes it's a business, and how they make their living, and as another responder stated, it's making that initial connection, that makes the session a bit more than a cum and run.

Thanks for the words of wisdom!

East way to cure you’re infatuation, call her up and ask for a free date. The crickets chirping during her silence will bring you back to reality.  We’ve all had providers who made us feel special with extra time, all kinds of other perks, sometimes ya actually do become actual friends of a sort, but don’t let the illusion fool ya it’s still business for her.

Far to many typos to make sense! Here are the corrections:

I was very happy at her response.
"No, I appreciate you being there for me when you can, but I know the score."

Ok Brian, sounds like you have things in proper perspective, consider yourself lucky. This is sweet and super special but keep your radar/antennae and eyes wide open  at all times. If this is true than why the need for our advice? Just lookin for support? Ok,  I get that.
Enjoy, some times this game can be scintillating, fasten your seatbelt! I`m jealous.

Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world.

If you're looking to take it to a non-P4P place with either, my only advice is to just ask, and take them at their word if they say "no thanks - I love you as a client."
Oh, and if you're married, decide whether you want to stay that way or not regardless of these two.

 
Last, but not least, have you introduced the two to each other and suggested a three-way? Now that's love!  

Yup! ~

  It happens! One of the providers is a GFE in my aforementioned post...
Dude told me, "I wanna' marry V. ...! "...  
All this after she had told him some sad story about how she is so unhappy in her marriage,
and she needs a husband who can give her "$5M, to leave to her children...",
and other un-obtainable demands...

Still, he says, " I wondered what it would be like to 'court'  V.  I wondered what it would be like to be married to V."...
Dumass, it's her line of rap: appeal to the Prince riding up and saving the "damsel in distress" from her miserable marriage, and then put some unobtainable parameter on it to ensure that the proposal could never be serious....  
Got HIS head twisted on backwards and upside down...

And #1 SB, same dude (he's currently supporting 5 providers and 2 "not-a-relationships"...) ...
Been chippin' away at him for 5-7 years..."Oh, I just need money for cigarettes, could you Western Union it to me...???",
"Oh, I dropped my suboxone in the sink, could you wire me some money to replace it...???",
"Oh, I can't really 'have [relations]' with you, because I have issues...but we can snuggle...", ...
She never f^cks him, just "snuggles" and keeps on getting paid on the Western Union Credit Plan...
(Sometimes she does take him to see her lesbian lover, and they do a threesome... but she never "does" him... she just lets her girlfriend do that, and her girlfriend IS a provider - so they both get paid!).

SB's doing the same thing to a $1M "whale", too! He's got her on his payroll, and 9% of his business (= about $45K a year...), AND she got unemployment this year and last! Nice little income she's got going there= $10K a year from Guy #1 + $45K + unemployment from Guy #2 = A very Nice Year for little Miss SB!
Guy #2 wanted to divorce his wife for her.... she said, "Noooooo.... ",
 - Why buy the cow when you're getting all the milk for free?
Now he's wanting to give her $1M... since he can't marry her and "P.rotect, P.rovide for, and P.rofess her"...

Wow! Girls, take a page from this chick's book!

That's what I am working on. Keeping it all in perspective. And to others, neither are asking for handouts, extras, gifts, or anything of the sort. The feelings mutual with both. Kind of like the GFE, with both, is just that, GFE. And I'll happily take it and enjoy it as long as it lasts, and count myself very thankful.
I didn't post to boast, but posted,(and should have done better looking for similar threads), but to honestly ask. I know I can't be the only one, and just needed other "eyes" to share how they handled it.
And really, several of you have given me some words of wisdom! Thanks.

Upon further review, I'm gonna pull a 180 and advise Brian to just go for it. If he's single with nothing to lose, then why the fuck not? Ride those 2 fillies as far as they'll take you. If one of them should bail on you, hopefully you still have the other one.

Life's too short not too.

Which is much different than falling in love.

 
A provider who "likes" you will occasionally fuck you for free, go out to lunch, dinner, drinks or whatever OTC and will even engage in texting/calling you between paid sessions. This is a sign that she likes you and that there is the POTENTIAL for more, but it by no means indicates that she has developed any actual feelings for you.

 
if and when she absolutely refuses any kind of "payment for services" even when, especially when you insist on it and says "you are no longer my customer, you are my boyfriend" then and only then can you be pretty sure she has actual feelings for you. Not that there is anything wrong with being "friends" with a hooker, or several hookers that you are fucking. I have gone through this literally dozens of times and I have never ended up the worse for it, but I have learned over several decades of doing this how to discern the difference between like and love.  

 
One word of advice, in any relationship there is always one party who is more "in love" than the other. Unrequited love can be heart wrenching, don't be the one who is "most" in love and you'll be just fine.