The thread below about whether NYC is a good location for providers finally degenerated into an insult contest, with one provider calling out a hobbyist for his "crap bedroom skills" which she'd supposedly heard about from one of her friends.

I've sometimes wondered how much or how little providers care or talk with each other about the "bedroom skills" of certain hobbyists (for example, if a guy sees two providers who know each other).  That in turn raises the Q of whether providers enjoy seeing "skilled" hobbyists more than the unskilled.  (Or is the color of money all that matters?)

As for me personally, I love watching a woman getting excited during sex so my bedroom skills are important, at least to ME

Responses are welcome, even ones which may shatter my delusions.  

Well I don't know, but I'd guess they don't give a damn, and they probably prefer the dudes whom are the easiest to fulfill, or the fastest.

Every now and then, I'm sure they want to enjoy it, but for the most part, I'm guessing it's simply all about the money.

Some of the women must actually enjoy sex to the point that they prefer a guy that can get them off.  I mean, it's not like they get paid less if they get off.

Do you give a bonus if you get us off? ~winks~

If I see a gentlemen that rocks my world, OF COURSE I would prefer that every time. Does it happen realistically? NO. Then again, it isn't about me when we are together. I am there to make sure YOU have the time of your life. If I get a little something out of it too, all the better.

Bella

Skilled would be nice and an O even nicer!
I Can't help thinking on a particular instance where DATY was involved. I was really getting into it and as I grabbed his head, and he tightened up his grip around my legs he tried to spread me wider than the 120* I was already spread. Ripped the crease on my inner leg, and I lost it. Felt like a rug burn in the softest part of the inner thigh. I couldn't feel anything else after that.
Kinda like you guys feel when you go see the Dr. who wears a rubber glove and Vasaline on his finger. ~~~~SHRINKSSS~~~~
I guess everyone needs a little guidance sometimes. Even myself.

OH your bad....LOL now IM all bothered! hehehe

My guess (as a hobbyist) is that providers wouldn't care per se, since the donation for their time is the same regardless.  Their bigger concern is probably a hobbyist being clean and respectful.  But it doesn't take a genius to figure out that they'd *have more fun* with someone who has good bedroom skills.

Most of the women I've talked to about this have a simple criteria for deciding if they like a guy as a client or not. Be respectful of both her and her time, be clean and be courteous. These ladies have sex with men all day long, you are not going to impress her but if you treat her well you will both enjoy the date.  That is the ultimate goal isn't it?

TOUCHE'

Point well taken.  I would be interested though Diana for your personal insight.  I am sure the provider's attraction or lack there of to the client effects the experience for her.  I read into the original question "can performance make up for less than a 10 in looks from the client?"  Is that a fair statement?

Wow!  Does that mean that the tens of thousands of reviews here by guys (like me) who state that the provider have multiple O's during the session aren't true?

My world is falling apart!

IMO you're 100% right that the #1 criteria on which providers judge clients is hygiene and manners.  My Q kicks in assuming that the guys is clean and polite.

I agree, being "great in bed" is lower on a providers wish list....but it's still there.  (Although, some providers are such robots, I'm not sure they even have a wish list)

Bill Cosby used to do a funny bit about being on top and having control.  With his facial expressions, he would recreate the man getting his, while the woman complains....then he flips it to the woman on top getting hers and telling the man to take care of himself.  

Since all men & women are created differently, what rates as good and bad can be very subjective.

For me it's more about the connection.  If I click with a girl, I work much harder for her sake.  The connection thing is weird...looks, skills, attitude...don't matter.  It just works better with some than with others.

"A hard man is good to find."

But I sure try awful hard.

I honestly don't find that much variation among gents' sexual prowess- most of the guys I see, given their age and sexual experience, know how to have basically good sex. And most seem to know how to, and also enjoy, pleasuring a woman. If a gent makes it clear they want to get me off, it's not hard to do with their effort and on occasion, a little guidance from me.

Sex really isn't that hard to get right- all it takes, IMHO, is 1) Practice 2) Putting forth your best effort and 3) Willingness to please. Have I met gents who were clearly focused only on themselves and not on me as a partner? Yes. And based on my criteria, that would make them a bad/inconsiderate partner as a civilian. But I have to assume that they are approaching me differently as a provider of a service, someone there to meet their needs. And, while I usually enjoy "sexual reciprocity" (that's now my catchphrase, lol) the best, there are gents who would really rather focus on their pleasure and on me giving to them. As you can guess, if they are respectful, clean, and courteous, I am more than happy to service them in that way! I do love sex, and I like receiving pleasure during a session, but I also enjoy pleasuring someone else completely and knowing that I am giving them great satisfaction without needing anything in return.

And, no, I would never talk about someone behind their back or in a public forum and talk about their "Shit bedroom skills." To me this is ridiculous and unprofessional. I mean, honestly, as far as bad in the sack goes, either a gent is clearly in it for his pleasure only (which is not okay in a relationship, but perfectly acceptable and not uncommon in P4P- nothing really exciting to talk about there), or he is rough or abusive (certainly something to talk about among ourselves, but that's an entirely different ballgame). Such comments are completely unprofessional and probably not substantiated. That said, if a gent is doing something that I don't like, or if I have a suggestion to make something even more pleasurable, I'll share it! But we all have our different preferences, and it's all subjective. Just my .02

XoXo
Marea

I am leaning towards a hobbyist who knows what to do in the bedroom BUT must equal or have more skills than me!!

I LOVE being in the bedroom!! I do NOT hold back and on several instances BEG the client to *#%& me!

The money is good but I truly need a good sexual session.

IF I am seeing someone who needs to be taught the skills that is fine too, but not after he brags how great he is....that is a disappointment.

Shane

marea, as usual, your .02 usally adds up to a $1, we owe you change.....always honest & insightful, i think we have a future love goddess when she retires.

wow bella, that was a mouthful, the rest of your pics on website are beautiful too, esp ol blueyes!

I've stated this before and it has been reinforced here again....My provider has said it more than once to me.."you are extremely clean; unfailingly polite and you are sober these are the main reasons I have you as a regular".I have very little sexual experience and she is having fun teaching me a few things.
Todesengel

MY point is that your bedroom skills don't matter as long as your envelope stuffing skills are good.

sexual/erotic "skills" are entirely subjective...a man who may be the world's greatest lover in one girl's opinion, could be a total dud in mine. this is why i never speak on or place values upon my own erotic "prowess" when speaking with potential clients...because it is simply not my place to judge, i know i will not be everyone's cup of tea or perfect for every joe blow. likewise, the qualities that i find desireable and admirable in a sexual partner are unique to me and my personal tastes, so universal judgements cannot be made either way.

...at least for this chickadee. but then i'm not really the typical provider or typical female for that matter.

my favorite clients are those men who are confident and demanding sexually...who are willing to guide and instruct me on how best to please them, and are willing to correct me when i make mistakes. who do not concern themselves with trying to please or cater to me, who want to use me and my body to fulfill their needs and desires to the utmost.

my least favorite clients are those whose egos are wrapped up in pleasing a woman, who are determined to find out how to "get me off", who want to serve me as much as i want to serve them. usually i don't see these types more than once.

If you play with a partner who is a bit better than you, it improves your game.

I have improved significantly because of my partners.

Actually, YES, if you consider it a "bonus" (I know I do) that if you go see that provider again, there may be things that are now "on the menu" that weren't before, such as BBBJ as compared to covered, or CIM.

Because there are severe penalties for EARLY withdrawal.

Thank You
2007=27

You put it perfectly.  For me, it's more of the connection between us then the actual act.  Both pysical and mental.  Some people you just click with...chemestry wise.  Sometimes you don't even need to talk to feel it.  
What I HATE is a guy who comes in and his ego causes his mouth to run about himself and asking stupid questions which i obviously lie about.  Like... "is this the biggest..."  
If your stupid enough to ask that then I don't mind lieing to you and toying with you.  Those are the dates that I HATE!

I have a twist to the ? posed by Moment.  What behavior is annoying to you providers.  I'm not talking about deal killers like hygene or abusive behavior. I want to know what annoys you during a session.

They shouldn't care at all. They are in it for the money, not the pleasure. And any one of them tells you otherwise has a bridge to sell you.

Exactly!!!

or is it just your vagina's alias?  This being TER, you can't be too careful.  It's nice, either way.  And your comments seem very reasonable and down-to-earth regarding this subject.  

-- Modified on 10/5/2007 6:29:58 PM

I can arrange a personal showing if you need more proof Perhaps even a taste test? :-P

This isn't a black-and-white issue; it's a gray area.  People on this board have been trying to figure out four basic things ever since Al Gore invented the Internet, and we all started heat-seeking for reasonably-priced cyber-pussy:

1) "Is my junk big enough?"

2) "Should I shave my snausage, and if so, how?"

3) "I just met a provider who said she might kinda, sorta, like me a little, so I'm thinking of buying a house and putting it in her name.  Am I just a sick asshole?"

And, of course:
4) Some variation on "Does it matter if I'm good in bed?"

The answer to question #4, is "It depends."  Providers are people, just like you and me, and everyone else here who isn't a lawyer or politician.  They have preferences and moods, etc.  Maybe if you see Jane on Monday, she's tired and worn-out and she'd really prefer if you just finish and go.  But if you see her on, say, Thursday evening, she's hot and bothered, and the mood has struck her just right, and chemistry can happen.  It isn't likely, but it's possible.  But when someone tells me "NO, providers only care about the money, and they have no feelings," that sounds a little unrealistic.  It's also unrealistic to say "YES, they expect you to be a stallion in the sack."  The answer is somewhere in between the two extremes.  

Obviously, money is the most important thing for them, otherwise they wouldn't be charging, and never let them tell you otherwise.  But some of them might enjoy a little sexual pleasure here and there.  Once in a while, if the mood strikes them, and you happen to be the right guy at the right time, you can make magic happen.  Just don't expect it to happen every time.

Nope. You couldn't be more wrong. If money was the only object, I would drop my rate, offer half hour quickies, and line them up around the block.

But its not just a $$$ thing at all. I LIKE what I do, and I want to take my time and ENJOY the time I spend with a gentleman just as much as he does. That doesn't mean I'm going to refuse to see someone again just because he was lousy in bed, but it does mean that I expect to enjoy each encounter to its fullest.

A few weeks ago I had a fellow show up who wanted to get right down to business. And I mean right down to it. I kept trying to slow him down, but that wasn't working. I suggested we move to the bed, and he complied with that - just long enough to lie on the bed, still fully clothed, and pulled his pants down around his ankles. To say that he was a quickie would be an understatement. Five minutes later, he was preparing to be on his way. Now, one would think that he would be a provider's dream. He spent less than 10 minutes with me, and he never so much as mentioned the possibility of getting a break on the donation because he was leaving so quickly. But yanno what? I'm not going to see him again. That was absolutely NOT my idea of a fun time, for him or for me.

So no, its not just about the money.

I'm sure you're delicious (and judging from your pics, you're low-calorie too).  Unfortunately, I'm in NJ.  And you already know from the discussion below how flakey the New Yorkers can be, so I wouldn't recommend a tour any time soon.  LOL

Yes, we -- as providers -- do have chemistry with many of our clients/friends. And I -- for one -- always tell them the truth. If I find something attractive about them, I tell them. I don't like to bullshit, but I also believe in being polite because there is something good in all of us (unless you're a psycho killer from Hell)!

I think people (men in particular) on this board should accept this business for what it is. Some of you have wives, many children, some with erectile disfunction and those with it that won't take anything for it (urgh!), some with kinky fantasies that cannot be acted out at home, some who have lost their spouses or have loved ones at home who are ill. Whatever the case, just accept some kind-hearted hospitality from an escort. It's not all about the money, but it is the money that got us started. I'm sure many of us -- if we won the lotto tomorrow -- would give it up. If it's just the sex, then we could go to a bar and hit on the best-looking guy who is rich. So come on, people. Get a life and just enjoy the hobby.

Hugs & smooches,
Ciara

Somebody up above said that he likes to learn from his providers and I second that.  I'm sure no Mr. Love Machine in bed (darn it) so I've picked up some great "tips" from a few of my providers that I've carefully selected thanks to TER reviews.  Recently a special redhead (if she's reading, she'll know I mean her) helped me rationalize some issues I have over this hobbying.  I'm going to contact her again for a session because she rocked my world, helped me as I stated and was just so darn tender and honest.

Redheads...wow.  This redhead was Wow to the 4th power.

No, I didn't rock her world...I'm only up to rocking her in a chair.

In my previous response here I in no way meant to imply that the lady can't or won't enjoy a session with a guy just because it's bought and paid for.

A lot of the questions that come up here seem to be attempts at men trying to latch onto something, ANYTHING, that will justify them paying for sex and help them to feel less like a customer and more like a lover. Why? Who cares? Certainly not the lady in question. She has chosen this profession and the smart ones treat it just as that-a profession. If she is miserable by nature no guy's "bedroom skills" are going to make a difference. By the same token, if she is a reasonably grounded lady she will enjoy your company as long as you present yourself as an enjoyable guy.

I have a favorite lady that I've been seeing for quite a while now. The sessions are always great fun and we both manage to have a good time. Multiple O's for the lady? Well yes but that has as much to do with her as it does with me. After all, if she didn't like having orgasms she would stop me after the first time (they are always induced orally)instead of asking me to do it again.
I'm a 50 year old fat guy with a bad back and a bottle of Viagra in my glove box. Am I her dream guy? I seriously doubt it but I show up with a smile on my face, a sense of humor and a good attitude along with the donation envelope.
The envelope gets me in the door and it will certainly get me laid but it doesn't guarantee a good time. That is always up to the two consenting adults in the room.

Just accept the situation for what it is. You wouldn't be with this beautiful woman if you were not paying her. Get over that and move on to the fun stuff. The time spent doesn't have to be viewed as a business transaction, in fact, the best ladies will never let that happen. I've said this before but the only time I even think about the donation is when I am taking the money out of the bank.

-- Modified on 10/6/2007 5:48:54 AM

Your right huney...that IS the bonus! MMMMMM

Performance Does make a difference over looks. Many good looking guys never got me off, but then a few of the guys that were not so good looking, DID. I do have to say, those that did were the older ones that took their time, and KNEW what they were doing. Thats why I choose to make more appointments with the older gentlemen than the youger.

Its always about the M O N E Y  Everything else is a distance second

...luvs you too, *smooch*

let ME know if you ever come to LA!!!!!!!!!




luv and smooches back at ya.

-- Modified on 10/6/2007 3:33:22 PM

-- Modified on 10/7/2007 6:22:33 PM

Yes ,it is a business but you can call me or not call me anytime you want.
Do you really think civvies will put up with that for long? I just can't.
NO FREE PARKING, that's what I call it.
Your heart or your money.
Either one works for me. If you cannot invest your time then you can make an appointment.
So many guys like to hang with the boys or travel too much .(If you can't or won't be there enough)-You can't keep a woman like me any other way (than the hobby).
For some reason it is more exciting to be with a hobbyist.Especially because you get down to it.I wish I had time to read what everyone else wrote .I'll have to come back to it. Read them all.~I'm the last post!!!~
If I come across to many who are not so skilled I raise my rates or change my ads.
When I get skilled ones I offer discounts,but usually with conditions( must donate blood or give proof of testing to actually get the discount).
I do like to post specials on half hour to see if my skilled friends pop up or to get more variety.
I will also see the less "skilled " gentlemen if they are blood donors or provide testing to reward them and to get a testing trend going.
I enjoy men so his "skills" don't always matter because I am very orally fixated.
I feel that grooming is more important than skill.
I never forget the skilled ones and love to pass these on these things that I experience.
I really get off on showing off my abilities and I think it attracts the more skilled guys.Could be karma or REALLY lucky.
I have done my fair share of being helpful for non-sexual needs.I enjoy helping people but I really like the ones who try to get every penny out of me and go for the high mileage.
I fantasize a lot about what I want and then I get them.
I was already in DC when I figured out that they All really come over to "do it".
People have asked me what was up with all the names and whatnot. It was to see who I could attract and what they could get into. I liked writing ads and seeing the guys go crazy. It was so fun!
Some even got me really nice shoes and we play with my camera and now I need to use my new video camera.
I guess I just have a lot of fantasies.
Thank God for this business or I would be too fucking bored!
We would laugh a lot. Especially at my CL ads.


-- Modified on 10/9/2007 12:53:59 AM

-- Modified on 10/9/2007 1:16:06 AM

-- Modified on 10/9/2007 3:47:29 AM

-- Modified on 10/9/2007 4:08:39 AM

LOL,true!!

that made my mouth water. I want you for myself.
You wouldn't have to fake it with me, baby.

(HippieJamie)
LOL.Fuck first ,talk later.


-- Modified on 10/9/2007 3:15:16 AM

What behavior is annoying to you providers.~
Personal questions and talking.~
We should only be talking about what you want or what I want to do.
You should only be saying." Great shoes , Shilo."~OR~
"Those shoes look great with my cock, Shilo!"
LOL.
~OR~ "Yes, I know how to use your video camera."~0R~
"I love to make hot chicks sucking cocks in designer shoes movies."

-- Modified on 10/9/2007 3:25:21 AM

any time, any place....you are HOT!

Do you ever get to Chicago? Too bad I didn't know you before, I was in DC last month!

Licks & Kisses
Bella