Ladies,

what is the oldest and youngest hobbyist you have served?

Personally, wondering until what age I'll be able to get it up, or at what age you may stop serving me, and which will come first ...

80 years old. Slept half the time.

Do tell?

No offense to our octogenarian johnnie boys.

Hat's off to you...just still do it covered!  That is if you can get the hats on  

want to know the oldest pair of wrinkly sacks shes sucked. Or the youngest buck she's fucked...either way it's kinda creepy.
Actually I don't want to know about anybody she has been with I just don't care

well that stopped the comments.

I thought it was funny that your comment appeared to have stopped the rather entertaining conversation. Whether that is true or not, I don't know.

The youngest I believe he was 23 years old.The oldest was 80 years old.

of responses combined with the length of time it all started, I think it was not really the best topic on the board today.
I simply gave my opinion, you only responded to mine. I mean do you really want to know the age of the oldest gent the provider has seen?

Hi BIB,

.. brain surgery!! His movie agent business was not profitable, so Granny turned his office into a doctors office!! I awoke to that scene on TV this morning!! :oP

I have an age limit, and it sure as hell is not 90! You do remember I was the one who said if a client died on me, I would toss his ass in the lake with some floaties? Yea, not going there.

Hi CPA,

... tell me they don't smell!!  Thank goodness for small favors, for I can fart w/ the best of them! :oP

Posted By: ChgoCPA

Do tell?

No offense to our octogenarian johnnie boys.

Hat's off to you...just still do it covered!  That is if you can get the hats on  

Posted By: meetkera

80 years old. Slept half the time.

Why not ?   Might give some of the sad sacks around here  something to live for .
I hope I'm still looking for sex if I'm a lucky 80 , unless I can only afford girls my age .

It's a more interesting topic  than how to change your GF's job .

I have been waiting for that one and I knew exactly who it would come from, LMAO

Quoting LR with a 90 year old was brilliant...and disgusting

When I lived up north, I would get the question all the time "don't you southern people sleep with your sisters?" I would always answer, well have you ever seen my sister LOL

I think you need to change one of those guesses.  I know first hand that one of them is slightly wrong.

I'm still fucking at 80 and 90 but I don't think I will be looking at providers that are under 50. Something unnatural about having a date with a girl that could be your great-granddaughter

Well, being kinda from the south myself,  I think seeing your sister might help us answer the question in this specific case.  Do you have a picture you can post?  Enquiring minds want to know. LOL

I may be 96 years old and senile, but at least I understand that since you guys are moderated it takes several hours for the lazy-assed semi-mods to approve your posts.  Do you get it now?

I'm not into that shit.

I have enough trouble with ones that are a little older, and by that I don't mean I have fucked a 60 year old provider, LOL

No, more like 14, I think.

OT! Don't tell me you were under 18!
We don't want to get anyone in trouble here!

That's pretty funny.

Reminds me of a thread a while back when providers were asked to describe what the best date ever would be. A provider said one where the client just gives the envelope and leaves.

Any really mature gents yet, lol. They are always welcome but I guess im not their cup of tea or just havent been around log enough to venture there.

A customer actually had a heart attack on the table!  It wasn't with me - I wasn't at work that day thank God - but my friend who was giving him the massage called 911, ambulance and paramedics came, and took the guy to the hospital.  He ended up being okay, but his son came into the shop the next day to pick up his dad's personal items (clothes, shoes lol) and thanked my friend for making sure his dad was okay.

Replied right away but I wanted you to be able to make your point

For free...lol

Just kidding I don't have any pictures of my sister, maybe some cousins and a sister-in-law, but that was at granny's funeral/ family picnic.

But then, some of us older gents are more difficult money. (I almost said "harder money." LOL) That is, when there are occasions when it becomes more difficult to obtain and/or sustain an erection and the poor girl (if she cares enough about you and her service to keep trying) may have to work 2-3 times as much to achieve that happy ending. So its not always "easy money" for the provider unless she tells you "it ain't happening today, hon" as she gets up from the bed to indicate your session with her is over despite the time left on the clock...

Of course, those are the insensitive b*itches you don't waste your time or money going back to. Even younger guys can have an occasional off day. A message, or some cuddling and conversation could always have been used to pleasurably and satisfactory complete a session.

I guess you might just be the "perfect" date then

If you've got the farting portion down to 1/2...I guess you can snooze the second 1/2 and she'll wake you up to let you know "She had a great time...but times up"  

Oh and just make sure you keep that envelope full there Cubbie...otherwise she'll let you know that those farts do indeed smell  LOL

Posted By: CubbieFan2

Hi CPA,

... tell me they don't smell!!  Thank goodness for small favors, for I can fart w/ the best of them! :oP

Posted By: ChgoCPA

Do tell?

No offense to our octogenarian johnnie boys.

Hat's off to you...just still do it covered!  That is if you can get the hats on  

Posted By: meetkera

80 years old. Slept half the time.

I can't believe the comments I've heard from a number of providers I've heard similar type stories from! I'm refering to medical emergencies which could have easily been life or death situations. Situations in which the ladies froze in panic and did nothing when another human being might well have died because of their indecision,  inaction, ignorance of what to do or how to react, as well as fear of being caught in an embarrassing and compromising situation.
I'll give you a clue, ladies: GO/CALL IMMEDIATELY FOR HELP if you don't know enough first aid to access the situation before calling for help. Whatever consequences you fear will only be exacerbated if you have a dead body in your room to explain. All else can be better explained later than can why you may have let another person die without at least summoning help ASAP.
This is  particularly an issue on my mind. A provider I recently saw said that she had had a client who had blacked out in the bathroom and had hit his head. From what she had explained to me, it might well have been a gentleman with epilepsy or perhaps a diabetic with his glucose not under control. My provider friend just stood around for 10-15 minutes hoping for the best. Fortunately, her client came to with minimal damage to his forehead, finished dressing and left. But it made me wonder what if it had been more serious? What if he had died because of not receiving prompt medical assistance? I'm sure she still thinks about that one. And I wonder "But for the grace of God, there go I." Maybe you ladies ought to take a Red Cross First Aid and CPR class. When prostitution becomes legalized, perhaps that'll be a requirement for licensing...along with a defibrillator in every bawdy house or provider's room.

I am patitnt and aim to please. I will go out of my way to hsve the leave HAPPY. I fell like i laid dowm ( pun intended, lol) on the job if they did not.

you should not be putting yourself or anyone else in such a position to begin with...think on that a bit lol. I am certified in CPR, but there won't be any johnnie boys caught in my locations, that much is for sure. I have a medic on hand who can keep his mouth shut in cases like this lol, but if your old ass is about to die, don't come see ME! I am not a nurse, and we don't sign up for that shit. Would I let someone die? Of course not, but that is what 911 is for. This is the very reason I have a fkin age limit!

Most men I see have common sense to make me aware of any issues that might occur, because they know I won't book with them if that is the case. You're out of your damn mind to suggest that some dumb ass hooker who can't even get spreading her legs right, is going to go get certified in CPR bwahahaha. Many girls are hookers because they don't have the smarts to do anything else. Hooking becoming legal...yea right ha ha. 10 years from now maybe.



-- Modified on 12/18/2012 1:51:05 PM

is the OTC I would be getting after that call.

Hey Magic, I just had a mutha fukah pass out on me and the fuktard isn't breathing... I will be right there London but this is the last time.

Since we are talking about age here, one of the unfortunate possibilities is erectile disfunction (ED). If you already have an existing heart condition, or are on high blood pressure medication, ED drugs such as viagra, cialis, or whichever you choose, can create a sudden drop in blood pressure resulting in you passing out. Fuck that sounded like a commercial.

I have seen trained personel doing CPR on someone with a pulse, BTW you don't do that. The last thing I want is a hooker that can't tell if I have a pulse or not, to put a defibrillator on me and hitting shock IF I AM ALIVE.

Your best advice, call 911. Guess what the cops won't really care, and the Paramedic won't care either. You have no idea the shit we see, lets just say no one should ever put a light bulb up there ass...it was a male

-- Modified on 12/18/2012 3:20:32 PM

Ask my friend London. I love my oldies. The 80 year old was a sweet old man. I saw him twice. Once for a two hour then again for an overnight. He truly just wanted companionship. He couldn't do much. If he farted, I didn't hear it. Sorry for the late response.. I've been a busy girl .

Or was it simply a scavenger hunt?  

I don't know if you were referring to me but I've just been busy. I like old cocks. I don't care for young bucks. I haven't dated a guy my age since high school. If anyone thinks i'm creepy because of that, then so be it. I'll be one sexy creepy mfer . Have a great day. Mwahs.

Obviously it was dark and he needed to see.

You will love this, his excuse was that he had fallen on it, LOL. Well maybe he did, and amazingly there was lube on top of the lightbulb that just so happened to be balanced on its end.

MM

Popping dick drugs or any drugs before a session could result in his demise. And I am not responsible for that. Yeah I would call 911. But bottom line, the guys need to take responsibility for their own actions and consequences of those actions if they want to play.  

Making it a providers responsibility should something happen is crazy. If that were the case we'd be getting them to sign waivers and "fuck at your own risk" clauses. Personal responsibility is sadly lacking today.

And lastly, depending what state you're in, find out if there is a Good Samaritan law that prevents a lawsuit should something really bad happen if the guy was attended to. Sorry but I am not ending up in court because I tried to help someone and they saw fit to sue.

Anyone with a shred of human decency would do that for another fellow human in distress.

But as you can see you have a delusional hooker that would rather run from the scene apparently than help another human out to make sure "they" don't get sued.  Says a lot about their character.  And just another reason to NEVER let anyone know who they are.

People end up with medical issues in all walks of life and in all places.  If the majority of people felt like SS and were so fucking worried about getting involved...this place, as in world, would be a really sad place to be living in.

Fortunately most people have compassion and caring for others...and tend to do the right things.

If a guy is on DRUGS as in illegal drugs, you can bet your ass I am not going to be anywhere near the fkin scene honey. I am not losing my family because some idiot did too much cocaine, and FYI I can be blamed for giving it to him even if it is not true. Other health related problems, not an issue for me and I will always do the right thing, but don't fkin O.D. on my ass, or I will not be pulling a Pulp Fiction.

What if he was healthy and did not take anything? What if something happened without any catalyst, other than sex?

I'm not saying his health is your responsibility, but I AM saying if something were to happen that you should call for help. Would you just walk out the room and do nothing?

In the state I live in we do have a good samaritan law, which even protects people like myself that are in the medical field from being sued if we try to help and are off the clock and out of uniform.

I could not live with myself if I did nothing, if you can that is something I will never be able to understand.

-- Modified on 12/18/2012 5:48:38 PM

I've had to use 911 on several occasions over the years.  And never once did the thought of "I may get my ass sued" ever come into my thought process.  To have just left that guy/gal isn't something I could have lived with...just not in my fabric.

And I didn't stop to think maybe the guy/gal was OD'ing or whatever...simply the fact that another human being was in a very vulnerable position was more than enough to have ME do the right thing.

Fortunately most people do the right thing...and to those who can and would walk away for ANY reason...what a shame.

And I swear on my life they were both within 24 hours of each other......  The 21 year old was a civvie date, but he knew about the 72 year old.

It was a goooooood day

And I mentioned personal responsibility..if a guy does not want to drop dead with an escort and he is doing shit to supposedly enhance his sexual experience and he is not in good health...it's on him and he should not even place an escort in the position to have to call 911.

Where did I mention or even elude that I would walk away? In the state I am in there is a GS law. That means I would render assistance. If there was not, I would place the call and wait.

-- Modified on 12/18/2012 5:05:42 PM

I was young and needed the money.

Are you saying that you are my sister and needed the money? You should have just asked. Granny would have taken some money out of the coffee can. We have been worried, kinda. LOL

SS would call 911 in an emergency situation.

That said, men ARE responsible for their own actions. Ya know...like don't take dick hardening drugs just to try to keep a harder woodie baseball-bat, for a longer period of time so they can feel like superman in a session. ESPECIALLY, if they already have existing health issues.

You do know guys do that shit all the time, right?

But, yeah...if the guy drops, calling 911 is absolutely the right thing to do. After that...what the hell do you expect? That the provider you're seeing has been certified in CPR? Really?

You might get lucky and she is.

Then again, if someone is not trained? Depending on the situation, they could do as much harm as good. AND...in our crazy litigious culture, find themselves getting sued for their humanitarian effort.

I've seen men on this site say they would drag a gal out into the hallway of a hotel, and leave her by the elevator.  But, of course, obviously, do what you can reasonably do. Don't just abandon the guy, fer fucks sake.

But sometimes, the best option is to wait for the damned ambulance.

You summarized the converstaion.

BTW, the 911 operators are trained to walk you through step by step until the Medics get there. That is anywhere in the US...anywhere. The individual has the right of course to say it's just something they can't do or wont do.

I have not seen a hobbyist say they would drag a provider out into the hall, if I had seen such a post they would have the same response from me that SS did, actually probably much worse.

Look this is how I feel, anyone, anytime, anywhere, can have an emergency situation that will require immediate action. Simply calling 911, or turning the person over that fell face first into a puddle, is what you should do for another life don't just stand around. I see emergencies everyday that involve very healthy people as well as people that should have taken much better care of themselves.

Offense was taken when SS blamed someone for a medical condition, accidental or not, it's about doing the right thing.

she did offer that taking any kind of drugs---when a guy already KNOWS he has health issues, is not a situation a provider "should be"...."expected to be" responsible for.

If anyone does face-plant...regardless of the reason....calling 911 is, obviously, the right thing to do. No has said anything different.

But, c'mon---if a guy is packing extra LB's, has high cholesterol, high blood pressure, hasn't walked farther than the distance between his big screen and the fridge in years, then pounds viagra before seeing a provider and drops? Yes...of course, call 911. But the guy does have some culpability there.

And, legal concerns about intervening in medical emergencies is not just so much nonsense. As you are in the medical profession you know very well this is not an unfounded concern. I'm not suggesting that one should not "do the right thing". But someone who does that, does risk getting themselves into some complicated legal hot-water, should something go wrong, and someone decides to pursue that.

Oh, London, relax! My comments/suggestions were meant to be half in jest...but also to be taken half seriously. (Your responses do make me laugh many times!) Although, a few thoughts for all to ponder on...  No one plans on dying, including your clients. Older clients will be reluctant to recognize and admit when its time to stop visiting the ladies, its kind of like waiting for an elderly relative to recognize and admit when its time to give up driving. Even a young man can drop and/or die from an undiagnosed ailment. (My best friend and roommate in college, an athletic 19-year-old, dropped dead right next to me from Sudden Cardiac Arrest. As a result of that unfortunate incident, that university installed defibrillators in all of the dormitories.) Nowadays, they are common place and can be found in most public buildings. While the chance of some such thing occurring may be miniscule, the chance nevertheless does exist.
And finally, many of you ladies provide such an exhilarating experience, I'm surprised that m any more guys don't drop over with more than mere exhaustion!   Do you have your defibrilator and your CPR certificate proudly displayed on your wall? By the way, your contingency plan with your medic friend sounds interesting! How does he explain that? That he's on standby to scoop up f*cked-to-death corpses from some hot hooker's pad?! Does he moonlight for the local undertaker, as well?! LOL!

so he can easily dispose of the bodies. Good fertilizer you know.

That's the whole point in calling me,sso they don't die. However we that live here in the bayou know that you can't bury the body. You feed it to the alligators so they get fat. Them we have a BBQ plus we can skin it and make the girls a purse or some shoes.

See we think ahead down here.

MM

that they would prefer me to be nowhere near the scene or at the very least, drag them in the hall and say I only did it so the Medics could get to him easier. You think I am waiting for some married guy's family and an ambulance to show up, when my fkin dna is all over him? You be crazy CPA. I have compassion for human life, but not for intentional stupidity. If a guy is doing illegal drugs, 911, then I am out of there. I will be using HIS phone to call 911 too, you can bet on that!

-- Modified on 12/19/2012 11:24:27 AM

Never mentioned disgusting but if that's your morbid takeaway, choke on it! I was heavy on the personal responsibility and London even went there. Oh yeah, I say it, you knee jerk, anyone else, you miraculously can comprehend.

And you are one to talk on Grand Canyon sized hatred or disdain (fill in the blank) ever really read your shit aimed at the ladies and hobbyists that don't hobby like you do.

Loosen that tight constricting yarmulke, it's preventing blood from reaching your brain. You want to take there with me...let's go off the boards like I said, no-one else wants to deal with this shit...



-- Modified on 12/19/2012 5:35:23 AM

floundering in obscurity?

I'm okay with SS, she has her opinions and I have mine. I like a girl with a little fight in her, it keeps you on your toes. Mostly for fear she is going to hit you in the head with a frying pan, lol.

We are saying the same things over and over so let's break it down.

1. Take care of your own health and be responsible
2. Don't do something that could cause unnecessary attention to someone else
3. In the event someone in your presence has a medical emergency, call 911
4. Almost every state has a good Samaratan Law in place to protect you, if you decide to help
5. Don't be a douche, follow the instructions from the 911 operator and help to save a life
6. here is my tip of the day...most of the time LE won't even show up, just fire dept and paramedics. Just tell them you don't have any medical info on the person with the emergency and tell them what happened and approximately how long ago.

this should be the end of this post

MM

if I had of said that all hell, or more hell would have broken loose. Have a great day!

Hang on...Your DNA, what do you think this is CSI Hooktard Town? They don't do DNA testing unless it's a murder, people have heart attacks all the time. His family will show up at the hospital not the hotel.

You will drag a naked body in the hall as if he just decided to take his clothes off and walk into a random hotel. If you did all of that why wouldn't you shut your door, call from his phone (good idea), and try to help save his life. You never know if he survives, you might get another SD but without giving up the booty.

Illegal drugs is a whole other issue, but I would assume any of you ladies would know how to spot if someone were that fucked up from a drug and kick them out. If you are doing the drug with them, then it is as much your fault and you should be lucky he is not leaving you for dead in the hotel room.

SS, you said if the guy is in bad health and taking an ED drug it is not your responsibility, placing fault on him. I agree you can't take responsibility for anyone, only yourself. My question was what if it were someone like me, in good shape and good health. Would it still be my fault? No, shit just happens sometimes. Damn I thought this conversation was over.

nobody would admit serving somebody less than 18, just saying.

the end.

If a guy is doing something to exacerbate his health problems knowingly in the from of any drug that may or may not enhance his sexual experience, I have a problem with that. It is placing himself and who he is with in a very compromising situation. Still would call 911, however, he should not only think about his dick but the consequences of his "enhancement" actions that they may have on those around him.

If a guy who is fit and has an episode (fill in the blank) then I would still call.

My issue is with fucktards who mess with their already failing health and then expect others to pick up the fallout. But very few seem to get this.

Let me try and explain it in a way some of you guys might get...

You go visit an escort and she mentions that a line of heroin helps the experience for her, so she snorts a big fatty and then od's right there.  If it were me, the minute she pulled out the shit I would be out the door. No matter if the line of heroin enhances the session for her...the risks far outweigh staying and dealing with the possible fallout of administering a drug that changes normal homeostasis in the body...and worse of she has  pre-existing health problems that would be worsened due to the self administration of a drug (yeah I chose heroin...could be poppers or whatever).

In either case (self administered drugs + bad health or a medical emergency that just happened), some would stay and call 911 and others would bolt...don't want to be caught with a downed hooker...too much to explain and I have heard of guys leaving. London is right about this one.



-- Modified on 12/19/2012 10:37:59 AM

He was looking for his hamster.