Thank you 3X3 times. It was really the very question that you pointed out that bothered me. And he said that it was no particular country that he was looking for. So it really annoyed me when I got the other mail.
I'm glad it's not just me although I was ready to ignore any other mail that came like this and I momentarily regretted posting but I don't anymore. Maybe just one guy can learn what not to do, or one guy that may have done it, just how not do it in the future or better yet, just not to do it.
I can think of a number of ways to ask the question or lead into it. Sometimes a guy will open the email dialog with " I am looking for a nice latin lady or I love beautiful black girls and you can kind of take it from there but this set ofemails had an entirely different touch.
Hugs
Now this is interesting. I'm not sure if I really want feedback on it or if I just want to vent a bit but it's one of those things that make you go "hummmh?"
The other day i received an email inquiry in repsonse to a local ad I have out there. The ad has my pictures, a blingual message and some very clear pictures that show my skin tone but my face is blurred. I can go in and edit the ad so every few days I can swap pics around.
Okay the person wrote me and asked my measurements and ethnicity. The measurements were fine but the ethnicity question I didn't immediately answer. Yes, I could have written that I was of a certain country (actually Cuban heritage) but I was wondering what he was getting at because he saw my skin color and it was obvious from the ad that I am bilingual....SO?
So, I wrote him back and asked if he was looking for someone from a particular country. In a day or so, he wrote back and said no but he was curious and wanted to cover his bases.
That would have been okay but his last couple words were these: ARE YOU LATINO OR BLACK?
Now I am known to be a sweetie but I thought that was a crazy question to ask, since whatever he saw in my pic was in some kind of way attractive. He was writing me in English so it wasn't even necessary that he needed a Spanish speaking lady... Being a little annoyed, I wrote back and said "I am a latina that is black." "My pics are real and that is my skin color."
I could have done it differently, I'm sure. But would I have enjoyed being with him at all? Would I have to had to act a certain way and overdo an accent that I dont have. (I was born in the states and I am basically accent free on both sides.
His last message said something like "I am sorry I bothered you but it is my money." WOW. I mean if you like what you see does it matter if the girl is from North Carolina or Georgia. Or if I were Dominican-American vs Cuban-American or African American vs Jamaican?
Would any one else have been slightly annoyed with this? Or maybe it was just an icky day for me when the questioning started. Yes, I could have just answered it from the beginning but part of me wanted to know where it was going. And I didnt like where it went.
To me, if I like what I see, I like what I see and the photos are in the ad. I like Denzel and it does matter that he's not Dominican (although there are Dominician men that look like that) I like. I like Brad Pitt and it doesnt matter that he's not from Spain. I like all of my gentlemen friends and it doesnt make a bit of difference where they are from.
Now Im going off on a tangent.Maybe I just wanted to vent.
BTW, I dont run into folks like that usually and he only bothered me because after I avoided the question several times, we re-asked it in about 3-4 more emails.
Maddie
-- Modified on 4/14/2009 3:16:56 PM
.....asking for your specific ethnicity. Many people, men and women have specific tastes. His fantasy woman may be from a specific ethinic background and since it is his fantasy as well as his wallet, he's well within reason to ask. If his fantasy is a Rosie Perez from Puerto Rico and he ends up seeing a lady from Peru, then he's not getting his fantasy fulfilled. Some gents may see a fair skinned red haired gal and ask if she is Irish or Welsh...because he has a weakness for an Irish Lassie. In my opinion this is a non issue. He was fine in asking.
Thanks for posting. I know not to go there anymore. LOL.
What you just said about a lady being asked about being from Puerto Rico VS Peru makes sense- *IF*, for example, this guy had a hottie Puerto Rican baby-sitter as a young boy.. and now wanted to act out an adult fantasy... or he was always jealous of his best friend's beautiful Brazilian wife... and wanted a provider with simmilar features/accent... - In these instances a Peruvian lady, however lovely, might not be a good match... and asking about all this would totally make sense etc..
*BUT* the comments- "ARE YOU LATINO OR BLACK?" and "I am sorry I bothered you but it is my money" - give some insight (to *me* at least) that his inquiries were of a more racist nature!
In this day and age of mult-culturalism in America- so many people have beautiful golden brown skin that defies "traditional categorization!" A lady could be *part* Native American, Mexican, African, Peurto Rican, Indian, Philapino etc etc etc
-The posibilities are beautifully endless! A man that forces all these ladies into "Latino" or "Black" is rather mis-informed (not to mention- geographically CHALLENGED...) and a man who implies that a lady's *VALUE* is tied to her *CULTERAL IDENTITY* is an ignorant TOOL!
If you think a lady is beautiful, sensual, charming and engaging, isn't that more important than the EXACT breakdown of her freaking DNA?
I know this has been dicussed ad nauseum- but I'm friends with a diverse group of people and will flat-out refuse to see clients who are overtly racist- you can't put a price tag on being forced to sit in bed for an hour (or more) with a bigot!
My .2 cents.
Thank you 3X3 times. It was really the very question that you pointed out that bothered me. And he said that it was no particular country that he was looking for. So it really annoyed me when I got the other mail.
I'm glad it's not just me although I was ready to ignore any other mail that came like this and I momentarily regretted posting but I don't anymore. Maybe just one guy can learn what not to do, or one guy that may have done it, just how not do it in the future or better yet, just not to do it.
I can think of a number of ways to ask the question or lead into it. Sometimes a guy will open the email dialog with " I am looking for a nice latin lady or I love beautiful black girls and you can kind of take it from there but this set ofemails had an entirely different touch.
Hugs
The way this post struck me was rather fair, albeit badly framed. U say your face was blurred, and latino and black facial features often times have different structures. No racist overtones, just personal tastes, or fantasies. U could have been attracted to your body, but been unsure of your face because he was particularly UNattracted to one of those two ethnicities....Tone deaf writer, however...
If the tables were turned, and a provider wanted to know my religion, I'd be a bit put off and feeling bad about it.
I suppose that considering the market place and all, the clients have a right to ask and if you want to play the game, you have to play along; but that doesn't make it right.
Oh, if only some day this world could avoid these kinds of things.
... by providing them with their very own sheet with a hole in it... 
ROFLMAO
And I like it.
Okay, Mr. Fisher, do you want me to put a hole in the sheet? Unfortunately, for me -- being part Native-American, part Irish, part Dutch and part French -- I would think a loaf of Fry Bread or pastry would be coming through it at any time. Geez! I'm hungry. Oops, not the poster Hungary or that I'm from Hungary. Oh, hell, now I'm sounding anti-semantic.
Hugs,
Ciara
Let's give it a shot.
While you're at it, you can slip me a few pieces of bacon through the hole as well.
8o)
her ethnicity and any other pertinent data on her website under her about me heading. Like it or not, many hobbyists are interested in a lady's appearance and genetics, and even region of origin, to the point of this being a make or break issue. And likewise, if I were a minority, I would appreciate the lady stating specifically if there were minorities that she did not wish to entertain. Simple communication, effected more confortably in writing, may spare both provider and hobbyist from such unpleasantness.
As for me, I have enjoyed and plan to continue to enjoy a wide variety of ladies from every ethnic and cultural group. But I find this information to be of interest as well.
This is from my Aquaintance page 'Caramel colored of American and Cuban parents, I am bilingual as well. " That is copied and pasted.
I may choode to make that even more specific.
I am learning from the responses and I will just refer to my webpage.
My webpage link and the date site page links are all in my email signature and I always insert "check out my website". That is another reason why I found this all so annoying.
perhaps he was looking for someone with a particular accent.