There is a well reviewed provider I haven’t seen since last year.  

Last I heard, she was with child, and no longer providing.

Recently, I saw she returned, but in an area about 5 hours away.

I contact her to see if she might come down to LA anytime in the future.


At first she says yes, in a couple weeks she will be in the area.

Then the next day, she calls me, and asks if I can help her out with a donation ahead of time, and if I could/would, she would not only see me for two hours, but also a dinner date.


What do you guys think?

-- Modified on 9/27/2007 3:43:01 PM

They used to have a sign hanging in the restaurant that went something like...We made a deal with the bank.  Shakeys doesn't cash checks, and they don't make pizza.

Unless you want to be the Nitescape savings & loan, I'd stick to making pizza.  But that's just me.

BTW, there's an interesting post on the LV Board about one of these gone wrong.  My guess is that it's only going to be there until the moderator spots it...it's getting real ugly.

Are you crazy? How many guys have to get ripped off before everyone realizes it's not worth the risk? You're going to forward a prostitute who is five hours away and desperate for money (or she wouldn't be back in the business) several hundred dollars?
Try telling her you'll boink her and send the money when she gets back home and see how much she trusts you.

I did this exactly once or actually almost did.

I knew the lady well.  She was well reviewed.  We had set an appointment for a few days in the future.  She was in a new place, it was summer, and her electric bill had skyrocketed.  The local electric company cuts no one slack and will cut off your juice in a heartbeat if they don't get paid.

The escort business can get slow in Central FL in the summer.  She called, clearly upset and embarassed, and asked for part of the donation so they would not cut off her power.  I knew she had kids and it was stinking hot so I agreed to meet her and give her an advance.

Just before we were to meet she called and said she had gotten the cash together.  So there really never was an advance.

I doubt I would have done this if it was someone with whom I did not have an established professional relationship.

However, in this case:

#1 I knew her from prior visits.  She was a sweet lady who always went the extra mile.
#2 She had a reputation to maintain in the community which she was not likely to risk.
#3 Her story was believable in context.
#4 The proof that it was an honest emergency was in the fact that she called, thanked me for my flexibilty, and said she no longer was in need of an advance.

As they say, YMMV

Thanks for the responses so far....

I'd love to get some takes from the ladies as well.



Ok now let me add another piece to the equation here -

a fellow hobbyist of mine, whom use to see her as well, said that last year she asked his brother to wire her a hundred bucks, and she would fuck him, and then she disappeared.


I already am pretty much 95% not going to do it, but it’s just that this girl is a TEN in the looks department, and a solid 8 in performance/service, and the thought of having two whole hours with her, PLUS a dinner date at the Sky Bar in LA, is enticing.

Part of me wants to delude my own mind, and believe that maybe it wasn’t intentional that she flaked out on the deal with my buddy’s brother…..   but the big head is saying absolutely no way.

Would have been a HELL of a deal though!

You are certifiably insane for considering the proposition in the 1st place. No offense, but this is a dumb question,

That 95% just went up to 110% for me.  To each his own.

...means she is an ROB not an escort.

That is an important point you left out!  Why call her at all?  You are in LA man.  You can get anything you want in LA.  You want a TEN?  I just ran a review search and got 60 TENs in LA from the last 12 months.

Activate main brain, deactivate dick brain.

Ask her if she has a PayPal account, and then offer to pay her by credit card (NOT debit card!).  That way, if she no-shows or pulls any bullshit, you can dispute the charge.  If she asks why you can't pay her in cash in person,  tell her you're way too busy to meet her in person prior to the session, especially since she's 5 hours away.  If she tells you to wire the money, just say that the wire-transfer fees are too high.    

Unfortunately, if she doesn't have a PayPal account and refuses to set one up, then just listen to your fellow hobbyists and let this one go.  Providers are like buses: there's always another one coming along.  Especially in SoCal, what with all the failed actresses, singers, models, and screenwriters... not to mention all the hot illegal aliens that stream over the border every day.  Caliente!

-- Modified on 9/27/2007 5:42:10 PM

I've advanced money to ladies before.  Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.  I'm now down $2,500 to one lady--maybe she'll pay me and maybe she won't.  But there have been times when I lent/paid an advance to ladies who were genuinely in need and it has worked out fine--just part of friendship, I guess.  Or maybe I have "sucker" or "loser" painted on my forehead.

that I might get burned. I decided that I would do it and if it didn't work out I would forfeit the money.

In both cases, I knew the providers well and in both cases they did as they promised but as I said I was mentally prepared to not get what I paid for.

That said, at that time I also hobbied 3 to 4 times a week. So to miss a day or lose the money was really not that big a deal.

If you choose to do so ... you have to decide that you can do without the money and that you might get ripped. I think most of the Ladies are well intentioned but many people do things you would not expect when they are having financial difficulties.

OFF

Unrelated Gratuitous Boobiage Photo

Well the thing of it is, that this girl actually has a long history of being not only a very good and unselfish provider, but also gave me a very very good feeling, according to her being genuine and good hearted.

HONESTLY, this isn't even about the little head....

It's more so about this is a woman whom I actually would like to spend some time around, and be there to help out...........

but even typing this, I see that I'm falling into what my counselor says is that "knight in shining armor" syndrome.

Wow...

What a loser I am!  lol


I sent her an e-mail explaining that I wasn't trying to be judging or condemning, but I got word from a fellow hobbyist that she renigged on a former deal, and I just didn't feel smart about extending the favor to someone whom I don't know.

She then called me, and this time I answered, and boy the girl can talk a good one!

She sounds VERY very genuine, and my best judgment thinks that she is being real and sincere.....

but the other side of me is thinking that it's just not a good move FOR ME.


Still going back and forth with it before I make my final decision...

because I do actually believe in Karma.  Let's say I help Joseph move to a new abode.  Twelve months down the road, I lock my keys inside my car and I need someone to give me a ride to my house to get my keys...  and Susie walks by... and asks how I am doing.  

I tell her and she says, no problem... let me give you a ride.

I ask, is the karma transfered back to me through Susie - or was it with me all along...

If I can help someone - I will - not because I think that I will get the exact same thing back from that person, but rather somehow the goodness of my heart will be maintained - and the satisfaction of a need will be repaid... or even perhaps one can "bank karma"!   but no matter, it is the intent in the heart that is most important... to help a fellow person in need..  that is all that is necessary.  

Sometimes ya get burnt... but more often, you get more in return.

because she wants your money with no strings attached.

But she may very well be genuine, but in light of what has been posted above, are you willing to take that chance?  That is what you have to ask yourself.  In addition, is the money you give her going to make a big difference in your life if you don't get it back, which given the odds, you probably won't.

Bottom line is, as has been said many times in this and many other similar forums, and I am gonna shout it:

THINK WITH THE BIG HEAD, NOT THE LITTLE ONE!!!!!

If you have have seen this lady personally, then maybe cut her some slack, but if she is merely a provider you want to see, well........

You have to decide.  Without knowing all the facts in this situation, I'm not sure what I would do.  Anyway, it is your decision.

Good luck,
Swim

-- Modified on 9/27/2007 10:13:49 PM

It seems to me this is not about helping out another person but about getting something more by paying less. She may genuinely be sincere in her request and her offer. But it seems to me that it is not about the money as much as it is about her offer of an extended session. You pay for an hour and get three. The question you have asked if you flip the coin over; would you be any different from her. You say that it has been said that she has taken money from gentlemen and not delivered. But you want to take advantage of her hardship, if what she says is true. She may have been the one to make the offer but that doesn't mean you should take advantage of her situation,if it is legit. My two cents worth! Let sleeping dogs lie.

hey OFF
i'm a newbie, since you've given cash advances in he past, would you wire $400 advance down to me so i can get laid w/one of the ter providers in my area. i can pay you back in $10 monthly installments.....

because I live in a rural area, there are very few providers, I did meet one and we got along quite well.  We hit it off from the start, and she saw me 5 or 6 times. I knew her personal life was mess, yet I still really did liked her.  I told her if you ever got in a jam let me know, we would work something out.
She did get in a jam, she called and we did work something out.  a few months later she got into another jam and called, once again I helped.  This time when I called I got a word that she was now out of the business, yet I don't have any regrets.
I never helped without my mind clear that I might not get my money back.  
I did not help a provider, I help a person in trouble, I am not rich, but I do believe in helping when I can, without being a doormat

just my thoughts

all things considered, that "something-for-nothing" offer is the clincher that convinces me it's BS, and gracefully backing out would be the way to go.

It ain't a nice feeling to realize you've been had.  Perhaps the way to deal with it is ask if you'd do it as a gift, and if so, think of it that way, and you can be pleasantly surprised if anything comes back.

how different female and male thinking is.

The provider asks you for help and Ann describes it as YOU taking advantage?  (She does not address the possibility that you will advance the money and never receive the services.)

I assume Ann has never had to ask for help from anyone.  And, what about the real bottom line?  If Ann could be making $100,000 at a "traditional" (legal) job, would she be providing?  Aren't all of her clients "taking advantage" of her situation?

Reminds of Chris Rock's routine:

"Guys, you will never win an argument with a woman.  We are at a disadvantage.  We have a need to make sense."

Think with the big head.

I guess if you look it as a male and female thing! I do not see this as male vs. female but person to person. My whole point was that there is always two sides to every coin. And that if you looked at it from the other side the same could be said from that side.

As for me providing and this is so funny because you don't know me. Or even why I do what I do? You assume I am in this for the money because you classify a provider as someone only in it for the money. Is that why you do what you do? Did you make the choice to do what you do? Does anyone make assumption as to why you do the type of work that you do? But because I am a "provider" I am a money hungry self centered woman. I am not capable of making a choice as to my own life. Just because society feels that being an escort is "bad" does not make it bad. I try to treat people the way I want to be treated. I believe in being honest. I don't play games. As for me not asking for help, what being strong and independent is bad?

I do not judge the choices others make because they are the ones who have to live with those choices not me. Just as no one has to live with my choices. But it is my choice to do what I do, just as you have chosen to do what you.

I didn't want to respond, cause I'm so tired of arguing with clueless people on forums, but yeah, I DID think her statement was ridiculous.


Here I am minding my own business, and a girl gives me an offer, and somehow I'm "taking advantage".

That reminds me of feminist logic, like "all sex is rape", or some other LOONEY stuff.


By the way, I went back and forth with the situation, and we spent almost 2 hours talking on the phone later that day....    It seemed pretty crazy for her to put all that into trying to scam for 120 dollars - especially considering her past long history of being a very good servicer, and not very greedy nor selfish.

So at one point, I was willing, and actually attempted to make the wire transfer, but Western Union declined it (not my bank). haha   Imagine that!


So at this point, we are still talking, and the next day we talked on the phone for another 2 hours.


At this point, I'm just trying to offer friendship.

You should have said that only $120 was involved at the beginning.  I think a lot of the responses would have been different.  In fact, I think many would have drawn a conclusion similar to your latest.  Too much effort for too little money to be a scam.

But what is it with your animosity towards feminism?  The position "[heterosexual] sex = rape" was put out by a minority of feminists and has been criticized and attacked by other feminists.  Feminism is like any other ideology, it has competing and contradictory strains.  But the common focus is women's autonomy - is that the problem?  It's self-serving to pick the most absurd and extremist line and inflate it to represent the whole.

By your logic, does OJ represent all men?  How about Ted Bundy?  Do we all abuse our women with the potential to kill them?

Even if someone calls you for help, it can be considered taking advantage if you use their vulnerable position to unreasonably extract more than they offered to exchange.  In your case, I didn't see that so Ann's comment IS nonsensical.  But I wouldn't dismiss it as a real world possibility.

Everything has to be about male vs female. This is about person to person. But please have at it. I interpreted what I read with the info I was provided and gave an honest perspective. But I see now it was about trying to look like a martyr and to tar and feather the first woman who tried to see this not just from one side but both sides but I guess a woman is unable to do that. No, it means I am sexist. But obviously it seems that the comments I have received are based on a sexist interpretation. As I did not come into this with a sexist attitude. As I stated before flip the coin over. What is his motive, what is hers. What if he was in her shoes and her his. Just two more cents worth!

Everything has to be about male vs female. This is about person to person. But please have at it. I interpreted what I read with the info I was provided and gave an honest perspective. But I see now it was about trying to look like a martyr and to tar and feather the first woman who tried to see this not just from one side but both sides but I guess a woman is unable to do that. No, it means I am sexist. But obviously it seems that the comments I have received are based on a sexist interpretation. As I did not come into this with a sexist attitude. As I stated before flip the coin over. What is his motive, what is hers. What if he was in her shoes and her his. Just two more cents worth!

I enjoyed your post.

My "animosity" towards feminism, is because it is just as ridiculous as "political correctness"....  

a bunch of LOONEY ideas, by those who are insecure and severely disturbed, which circumvent common sense and nature, to grasp for something desperate, in an attempt to escape.

Like a virus it continues to spread, and never ceases to rear it's ugly head....

as you just confirmed, it reared it's head (ONCE AGAIN) here in a totally nonsensical way.

I don't care about what might be possible...........

Hey if grandma had balls she'd be grandpa.  There's no point in all that.


So stop being politically correct, grow some balls, and stop trying to spread "metro-sexuality".

No offense, but men need to be men - period.

I won't be getting 2 extra hours nor ask her to spend 4 hours on the phone with me.  

I'm a feminist.  I've sent thousands of dollars and driven hours to help women out.  I don't feel like a doormat nor do I assume anything.  I don't ask for anything back other than my money.  

I'm not an idot.  There are plenty here who help others out with no strings attached.  Especially if they've been intimate with the person as have you.  

So... if she never calls you back or sees you again, I think you've gotten your 120.00 worth in calls and attention alone.  

You're a great guy I'm sure, just misunderstood


-- Modified on 10/1/2007 7:48:28 AM

If she is really driving five hours each way (total of ten hours!) she should be charging something for her driving time as well as requesting a deposit in advance on the donation. This two or four hour date or whatever is really going to be a full day for her. I charge half my hourly rate for drive time of more than one hour, so 150 an hour for drive time and gas, and require 50% deposit on any distance/travel bookings. It is weird that it was phrased as a favor or advance, but I think she really wanted a deposit and didn't want to be pushy about asking for it? Just a thought..

XoXo
Marea

uh Dragonfly, are you still following/reading?


Guess who liked your post????


"I'm a feminist"

Gee, what a shocker!




If you can't tell from the comments just made, let me spell it out for you -  


Blatant attempt at trying to reduce a man in his righteous convictions, into becoming a pawn for a woman.


This is par for the course with feminists.


So baby boy, it isn't a case of me being too extreme.......

it's a case of feminism IS extreme.


and no matter which way you slice it.

And I'm sure SunnyBunny can defend herself.

Your attack on feminism it's so lacking in logic I don't know where you get off calling anything else loony or extreme.  But your real problem isn't any feminist arguments, it's the premise of feminism itself: that women are human beings with the same intellectual and creative capacities as men, and whose experiences and opinions deserve to be treated with equal regard as men's.  I had no ideas this was so extreme.  Since you don't agree with the basic premise, no subsequent argument or evidence would suffice to convince you otherwise.

As for what I'm trying to do, let me make it clear, I am trying to be rational and critical-minded about people's ideas and behavior, especially mine, so I can live a thoughtful and humane life.  This takes a lot more work and a lot more nerve than implying that someone is a "fag", like an adolescent.

"Men need to be men?"  I agree.  You need to grow up and be a man, not a caricature of one.

-- Modified on 10/1/2007 8:39:22 PM

-- Modified on 10/1/2007 8:57:51 PM

Dragon, why don't I send you 120, forward it to Nites girlfriend

Nite apparently doesn't want me to send her the money.

Sometimes it's just nice to do a good turn for someone without thinking about getting something back in return or being suspicious that you're being had. I've lent the opposite sex a lot more than what's she's asking for to help them out; sometimes I got it back, sometimes I got back some of it, and sometimes I lost it. But it was done to help a person in need and I believe that doing good turns for others can't be a bad thing. It's not always about the money. Tell her to PM me and I'LL lend her some money!

What exactly, is lacking in logic?

Provide a specific example, rather than rambling on like a ninny.

Don't try to come at me with "women are human beings with the same intellectual and creative capacities as men.........", as though I've suggested something different.


See that's just the thing, that feminists and elitist do, and you've just exposed yourself.


By the way, my point about being "metrosexual" flew right over your head.

I don't consider a metrosexual "a fag"...........

I consider a metrosexual to be a very primadonn-ish, new-age type of man, filled with insecurities, because he has been broken down by groups such as man-hating feminists, and various other liberally elitist special interest groups.


A real man does not have these basic insecurities, nor does a real woman.


Men that do, become metrosexuals, and women that do, become feminists (or lesbians).

As I do men.  I wish bra burnings were in vogue.  Sounds like fun to me

Your statements on feminism consist of:

1] Stock phrases: "Real men" "man-hating feminists", "political correctness"; what no "femi-nazis"?

2] Stereotypes: Femininsts are "insecure and severely disturbed" who are "grasp[ing] for something desperate, in an attempt to escape"; "Men that do, become metrosexuals, and women that do, become feminists (or lesbians)."

3] Double-standards: feminism IS extreme, a opposed to your balanced position I suppose?

4] Exaggerated rhetoric: "Blatant attempt at trying to reduce a man in his righteous convictions, into becoming a pawn for a woman"; "Like a virus it continues to spread, and never ceases to rear it's ugly head...."

5] Now recently added equivocation: "Don't try to come at me with "women are human beings with the same intellectual and creative capacities as men.........", as though I've suggested something different."  Yes you have.  What I've stated is a basic feminist position.  It certainly didn't come from men.  You oppose feminism so you must oppose that position.  Its like saying "I hate everything green" and then saying "but I never said I hated grass."  Also I know what a metro-sexual is.  I also know what it means when people refer to "men" and "nature" in the same passage.  Add it all up and it equals "fag."

An agitational tone is not a substitute for a reasoned argument.  I guess something "real men" never have to worry about.

-- Modified on 10/3/2007 5:37:49 AM

you've already exposed yourself, and my points have been made by the two women whom posted.


I don't need to add anything.

I never was arguing with you, flirting.. teasing a bit maybe.

Have a nice life sweetie.  Hopefully you'll find a strong, self-assured lady to love someday

YOU teasing me?   Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk....


"Sweety", I already have a nice life, and good luck to YOU in finding a self-assured man to love someday. http://www.theeroticreview.com/images/emoticons/regular_smile.gif



By the way, if you THINK (just in case) you are getting in somebody's head?   You're not. lol


I'm done with you.
Proverbs 29:9